Very occasionally, I post pony stories. Twilight Sparkle is the best pony. I drink my tea with milk, no sugar. Those would be the important bits.
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Twilight takes a walk in the woods near Canterlot to clear her mind, when a mischievous little phoenix starts dropping chestnut shells on her head. Quite a familiar mischievous little phoenix.
Somewhat inspired by the song "Evermore" by Alison Krauss, a story to perhaps make its reader smile.
Thanks go to Skywriter, GhostOfHeraclitus, and "Nettle" for pre-reading; and Ziom05 of deviantART for permission to use "Sun Springs" as the cover art.
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Phew, so that was my first submitted story, and I really hope it was a good one. It's a simple story, I know, but if it in any way made you want to smile, or it brightened an otherwise dreary day by even just a little bit, then I count it a success. Many thanks again to the pre-readers. It's amazing what difference a little feedback can make to the quality. Any remaining gaffs you spot are probably my fault.
This story was actually a bit of an accident. Somepony recently made a blog post saying that someone else should write a story with Twilight and Celestia based around the song "Evermore." I listened to the song, and immediately agreed. Yes, I thought, some sucker really should do that. It's a good song. Unfortunately, I got it stuck in my head. Unfortunately, I ended up having to undertake a four hour car journey with said song stuck in my head. And unfortunately, inspiration struck. So yeah, turns out I'm that sucker. Oh, well. I like the end result.
There's been a live reading of Never So Far Away by the Living Library Society that may be found here.
Really very lovely. Nice work, I loved the simple interactions between Twilight and Celestia here.
Jup you have done well. Nice story!
1871832
Comming from you, on the topic of Twilight and Celestia interacting, that means a lot!
1871878
Glad you liked it.
(Made it though moderation quite quickly, so I guess I'm around for a little while longer).
Excellent. This is the first story I've favorited in long while, there's something to be said in that. Keep up with the good work, you've earned my follow. ^_^
Really Lovely, delicious interaction.
Just think its a typo here:
"what I taught you today" or such?
Wow,this is lovely.
1872166
The creators of this show say they don't ever read fan fiction, because they have their own visions of the characters and they don't want them pulled off track by big sweeping interpretations. Little, perfect and harmless tales like this one show why they really should.
This story just flows so well; the emotion is perfectly captured. Very good writing, sir.
Personally, I'd capitalize 'Mother', or use 'her mother' instead, but other than that I had no issue with this story.
Very good job.
Wow, this is how you truly write a "Slice of Life". Well done, sir/madam.
It's wonderful, but then again, I told you that already.
Oh, and remember when I told you it'd be a good idea if you fanficced? Yes? Well I told you so! 
To any potential readers: Read it. It's heartwarming and cheering and clever.
EDITED TO ADD:
Oh, and another thing -- I'm privileged to know that Powered is working on yet another tale, of audacious adventure and astonishing amazement and other things not necessarily beginning with 'a'. There's not even a title yet[1] but there is a first draft of the first chapter and it is riveting stuff.
[1] Though if he doesn't come up with one soon, I'll start referring to it as Fifty Shades of Purple. Why, yes, I am a bastard. Right there on my profile, people, right after 'verbose.'
I'm sorry, I saw this, and it just SCREAMS WRONG. I couldn't just let it go.
The proper name comes before the pronoun. Hast to hastto hastto. Period.
I'm not entirely sure if you could get away with just pronouns in this case, seeing as it's a new paragraph, but regardless here's how I'd rephrase the sentence:
Oh that's just wonderfully phrased.
Fantastic story, have a thumb and a watch, and it will be going up on my user page list of recommended one shots.
I can rest content knowing I've skipped six, with witnesses.
1874064
Yup, I agree. I'll get that changed.
1873223
Rule 6 of this guide? I'll get that fixed.
I really, truly love stories that delve into the relationship between Twilight and her mentor. It's kind of a shame we don't see more of it in the show itself. Just little snippets. Ah, only Twilight could think she isn't good enough after saving Equestria, repeatedly, solving problems that even Celestia had been unable to, and giving Celestia back her sister. That in particular likely has Celestia feeling that she has the debt that can't be repaid.
I wonder. What was Celestia thinking in this story? What did this series of events look like from her POV?
1875441
Now that's an interesting question. If I ever feel like coming back to this, I might have a go at that. But I can actually tell you one thing Twilight did for Celestia during the story, without even realising it, that probably meant a lot to the princess. She at no point brought up her questions and worries [1] about her presentation, at least not until Celestia brought it up for her. She recognised that this was a rare moment when Celestia was taking a break from dealing with the cares of others to renew herself, and she respected that. I think this is why Celestia is happy to spend her "alone time" with Twilight here.
[1] I mean work-related questions like "does X magical theory make sense" or "do you know a citation for Y" etc.
loved it, i don't usually read one shots anymore, but repeated exposure finally caught me.
Interesting.. that's a pretty well told one shot right here.
Well, that was a lovely, sweet little one shot. I do believe you have just earned yourself a watch and a fave. Congratulations.
THIS is your first submitted fic? Wonderful! I really hope you do keep writing, because this piece made me smile a lot.
The pacing is nice and slow, and the interplay between all three characters has a natural and playful feel. Your addition of Twilight's anxiety added a nice tension, and Celestia's admission was a great insight into the character.
I saw a few small errors- in the paragraph where Twilight comes to the pool, you have an extra word, "down into over a...", and the sentence after that 'Ponyville' has an extra 'l'.
After that, I was to drawn into the story for my eye to notice anything, but I don't think there's anything else.
Beautiful, I can't come up with much else to say!
Cute.
Truly beautiful. I hope this makes the feature box as it surely deserves so!
This is amazing.
If I've ever read a better slice-of-life story, I can't remember it. The characters are as in-character as I've ever seen them, Celestia gets a bit of downtime, and Twilight learns to relax and love
the bombskipping stones, and maybe even see that Celestia doesn't have unrealistic expectations of her.I went through it in full grammar nazi mode and found a couple of errors:
"some kind of new museum"
"your record"
"would be Lake Latigo"
There may be more (I've never been a good grammar nazi), but I figure every little bit helps.
This came highly recommended by a certain, well regarded ghost. You didn't disappoint.
I'm really thrilled by the response this is getting. Seriously, my neutral expression has been defaulting to "grin" for the last day or so. I knew I'd written something I was proud of, but I wasn't expecting such a bit response!
1876696 1878667
Okay, those mistakes should be fixed now. Thanks for pointing them out!
1872044
I just noticed the company you decided to put "Never So Far Away" with. That's very flattering.
1872171
:)
1872265
I've heard there may be legal reasons too. I can kind of understand though, if you respond too strongly to your fans, you'll end up with a show full of self-references and in-jokes. Perhaps when the show has finally run it's course, they can take a look at what people were creating?
1872849
It's kind of hard to tell if the emotion you're feeling when writing something has been captured in the text, so I'm pleased to hear it worked.
1873295
Strangely enough, I tend to have a fondness for adventures in what I read. I have a whole bunch of half-finished [adventure] stuff in my gdocs. Speaking of which
1873309
*Facehoof*. Just to be clear, the story that Ghost has decided to call Fifty Shades of Purple will be rated "Everyone", or at the very worst, "Teen" for—how would the ratings agencies put this?— scenes of mild peril.
1874259
See my response to Blue_Paladin42 for what I think this line meant. However, that response not part of the text, so you're free to interpret however you like.
1874781
I feel like something whooshed over my head there. If it's to do with the last few episodes, I'm actually a little behind on watching them. I was under a lot of stress lately (which is over now) and missed a few, so I guess I'm saving them up for one, glorious, pony-watching binge now.
1875837
I tend to read mostly long [adventure]s too. I always assumed my first submitted fic would be about Luna and Twilight saving the world or something. I blame Skywriter and his music collection for this
1876026
I'm glad you liked it. As I've said, the response has been making me grin like an idiot.
1876690
Thanks, I'm glad you liked it.
1876926
Thanks.
1877163
I think I shot myself in the foot with regards to that. I submitted on a Saturday because I finished it and just wanted to get it out there, and it hit the front page about the same time as the new episode came out (I don't live in the US, so I don't know the exact scedual the hub uses). Note to any potential authors: careful about this sort of thing.
1877776
Thank you for the kind words.
1880151
Ghost helped out quite a bit by pointing out many show-don't-tell issues. He's generally very good at making you feel good about what you've done, making you want to do even better, and providing suggestions about how to do that.
1880541
I've gotten one more stone skipped then Celestia's ever gotten.
And it makes me feel special.
1881004
My approximate thought process: Six? Mane six? Thefirewarde sipped past the mane six? Is this an episode reference? I'm confused... and so on. Dammit, brain, you're thinking about things too hard.
Should I be worried that I associate the number six with the mane six so closely that this sort of confusion happens?
1880696 Hmm develop friendships with powerful people?
Epic Twilestia friendshipping. And skipping. A very sweet piece. Thank you for it.
Okay, so, I had some pretentious-sounding stuff here (well, in my head) about how some good fics are this, and some are that, and I suspect some being this other, and this sentence doesn't make sense anymore so I'm not going to try.
I can't seem to continue this without alluding to or rehashing what that pretentious stuff was. I think the point was, before it started to get lost in the pretentious verbiage, that there some great fics that do Big Things; and that this isn't one of them, but it's still a great fic for completely other reasons.
That's still not very clear, is it?
I don't have one of those applause reaction gifs handy, or I'd post it for you. This deserves it like nothing else I've seen.
Rather than continue to short-circuit myself in roundabout ways, I'm just going to try to be direct: This is excellent in ways I'm finding myself unable to adequately describe. Bravo.
1880696
Indeed a great writer who's opinion I hold in fairly high regard and who's writings rarely disappoint. You're fortunate to have him as a friend though I would point out that this fiction isn't his, it's yours. He and the others who helped just pointed out how to make it better and you took their advice. Most of the credit, for both the good and the bad, goes to you and it seems fortunate that this is some good credit to your name.
1885203
I've spent a bit of time in academia, and one of the things that gets beaten into you right from the beginning is to always, always, always cite and acknowledge the help of others. That, and, it's just good form to do so. Between you and me though, the response to this story has been a massive (and much-needed) ego boost. I've been wandering around thinking thoughts such as: "People seem to really like it. I did good. Yay." in the privacy of my own mind.
As with everyone else who has read it, I enjoyed this fic very much, but I do have one small error to point out.
Should be a startled squark.
Other than that. Very good job. I award thee with a moustache
use it wisely.
Hmm... looking over the rest of the comments, it seems this is the first moustache you have received. I guess I'm the only one here with enough unoriginality to do such a thing.
1890641
Thanks, that should be fixed now, as well as a few squawk's that were missing their "w". I will put the moustache on my dragon familiar to give him a +2 circumstance bonus to diplomacy, bluff, and intimidate checks. Also, it looks cute. See:
Ah, friendshipping is best shipping.
Ahhhh, this is refreshing. It's amazing, seeing as I recently had a discussion about how Twilight, in the show, thinks so little of Celestia that she would go so far as to banish her, send her back to kindergarten or whatever else should she buck up in any way shape or form.
Take the Crystal Episode, for instance. Twilight goes into her throne room, drops a bunch of scrolls on the floor and immediately drops on the ground yelling "Sorry! Sorry!". That's the extent of their relationship right now. Honestly? I would love to see an episode in which something like your fic happens. Preferably from Celestia's point of view.
And this is why Twilestia is bestia. Look at how much they have to work out before they even consider themselves to be friends!
Great fic. I'd love to see more from you.
That was cute and it gave me a smile thanks a lot!
I claim the spot of the 200th like!
But seriously, that was a beautiful story!
1892730
So I kind of rambled here, stream of conciousness style, but you gave me an opening to talk about one of my favourite pony-topics.
Yeah, the relationship between Twilight and Celestia [1] always struck me as being really fascinating. It manages to be both loving and dysfunctional at the same time. There's something very heartbreaking about the way Twilight's only wish at the Gala was to spent time with Celestia.
It's going to be so special, as she takes time just for me.
Yeah, that.
Anyway, I always felt it was a little strange whenever I see Twilight announce that Celestia was "like a second mother" or similar [2]. I don't know about you, but my relationship with my mother isn't anything like Twilight-Celestia. And mother-daughter is still an asymmetric relationship, which is why I feel friend-friend is more powerful (especially given the themes of the show). If you can get to friend-friend, it almost doesn't matter if they go on to adopt each other as mother and daughter or start making out Twiestia style. Of course, I only really hinted at friend-friend here; it takes 159,827 pony-words, words that I could never hope to match, to get there.
[1] It's funny, we tend to rank ponies from best to worst as a kind of in-joke, but I think it's equally interesting (or more so) to look relationships (that's in a wider sense, not necessarily in the sense of shipping) between the ponies. In why case my best pairs of ponies are Twilight-Celestia, Celestia-Luna, Twilight-Spike and Rarity-Sweetie. I also have a weakness for Rarjack just because of the potential for hilariousness.
[2] Another aside: if anypony has the right to regard Celestia as an adopted mother (in my opinion anyway) it's Spike. Yes, everyone forgets about Spike! But during Lesson Zero, who was completely confident Celestia wasn't going to be mad about her late report? Even Twilight's pony-friends were briefly convinced Twilight was destined for magic-kindergarten but Spike knew better. Also, I think Lauren Faust is on record as saying that Celestia raised Spike herself because ponies didn't know much about dragons and Twilight would have been far too young. If I ever write something where Celestia and Spike interact, they'll be much more casual and relaxed with each other in a way that Twilight and Celestia are not.
What a wonderful story! I feel that your portrayal of the characters here are spot-on, more so than most other pony fics! It was very refreshing. You've put good effort into fleshing out these characters and their relationship, and it shows! Bravo!
Haven't started reading it yet, but as soon as I saw the first few words, this song started playing in my head. Manly tears were shed before I even read this story
(I miss ya gramps...)
1908214
Yes, there's quite a bit to say about Twilight's supposed "best night ever". What pains me is that Twilight is pretty obvious, and Celestia, being the nigh all-knowing character-reading pony I headcannon her to be, has got to see this. My question is : How could Celestia let this happen?
The only thing I can think of is that Celestia, erh, molded Twilight to defeat NMM[1][2]. And that's it. It was only ever a far shot that she could find the EoH and actually defeat her, so she never really thought of a long-term relationship between them. 'Tis a delicate situation and I can understand Celestia for using tact. The ball is on Twilight's side... but a little push and shove from 'Tia couldn't hurt!
[1] As slightly explored in Ponies Make War. Twilight resented her for it.
[2] I don't really use footnotes. Oops!
Great sweet story, also like your comments in the comment section. Nice to read your insights. Greenthumbed!
How did I ever miss this? This is one of the finest Slice of Life stories I have read. It is not often that we see a fic that shows the Mentor/Student relationship between Celestia and Twilight and you have done well with that. Also showing the imperfections of Celestia adds to the story even if it is something as simple as not being able to skip stones. You have done well, and as Admin of the Protect Celestia Group I do deem this story excellent and appropriate for inclusion into the group archives. Thank you for sharing this.
Celestia's Paladin