• Member Since 17th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Feb 20th, 2013

travislolmin


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T

One pony wakes up in the Everfree Forest with amnesia, and tries to reclaim his memories.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 13 )

Sorry for it being so short guys.:ajsleepy:

This was really great! I want to know what happens next. I saw a few grammatical errors, but you did fine! You did a great job!:pinkiehappy:

185451
For an eight year old. This entire thing as a whole is completely overdone.

No soup for you. Maybe next chapter.

185604
I t was pretty good for a first timer....:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

not too shabby, couldve had better paragraph structure but it was fine.

185618
To quote an anon:
"Being a first-timer explains why it looks so; however, it does not explain why it should be so."

do you rip on every story on here, or does it have to be made by god to get your appreciation?
:fluttercry:

Dont worry you'll get better, just find a story and read through it, then go through a seconds time paying close attention to detail and the points where the ponies talk, it will show you great order for your story and if it's a good story it will give you quite a bit of inspiration as well. Hope this helps

185840
I rip on every story I read, ever. I've yet to not do so to a story. In fact, I'd rip on God's story if he ever made one.

No, the Bible doesn't count.

I digress. There are a few good stories out there; my favorites list can account for that. That doesn't mean said stories have their own flaws too. As I've said before, I don't ask for professional writing, but I do expect professionalism. If you can't at least read this over by yourself and wonder, "Hmm, is this bullcrap? Does this sound weird?" or send this to a prereader, then I reserve every damn right to be harsh. Hell, I'd still rip on this even if you did do so. After all, by submitting this, you're saying you're ready. You clearly aren't.

Nobody's the best. Certainly not I, who writes long, frustrated notes on his own fanfics. However, I'm not asking for the best. I'm asking for "good". This is "subpar". Most of the stuff I read is "subpar".

And one last thing. I critique people for a damn reason. I don't do it because of envy, or greed, or to be an attention whore, or even because I hate the fic with all of my small, pitch black heart. I do it because I fucking care. Babying you with "OH EHM GEE TISH IS BEST TING EVER JAJAJAJA ELEVENTY KAJILLION STARS" doesn't do anything except boost your ego, which is almost never a good thing. I learned that the hard way. That's why I'm strict with my ratings. I care. I care enough to go over the story over and over again at risk of stabbing myself in the eyes with a rusty fork just so one little person can get better at writing.

Now, whether that means the majority of fimfiction.net doesn't care or lacks a finer eye is beyond me. I don't wish to assume either.

im okay with this:derpyderp2:

185840

I agree with you
I wish people would stop to say

"This story is good despite the grammar errors."
However I can't view due to it being mature and I have a problem with that. But i bet its really good! :yay:

HNG i want more

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