It was all burning.
Fire and death were all around him as he watched his world burn. He could see the people screaming, all of them running to somewhere safe. But nothing in the world was safe. Not anymore. The majestic city in the background, called the zenith of human ingenuity and unity, was now a burning flare, signaling to the rest of the world that its time had come. The fire that consumed the city now consumed the world. Nothing was left untouched, not even the ocean, which boiled like magma and damned all to a terrible fate--who were unfortunate enough to be trapped within its roiling maw. Then the next thing he knew, he was falling. The fire faded into darkness and the sounds of screaming died into silence. He knew not for how long he fell, but to him it was like sinking into an ocean...an ocean that had no bottom. Then, he surfaced.
/\
\/
The human awoke, but did not open his eyes. He was afraid that if he opened them, he would have to witness the terror that had become his reality all over again. So instead of seeing, he decided to let his other senses work. He felt the cool breeze of the night air as it gently slid over his face. He could feel the damp, cool grass on his back. He pushed his hand into the ground and found he gripped freshly dewed grass. He felt no heat, no fire. He then let his ears take over. He could hear the sounds of crickets chirping in the distance, as well as howls and hoots from other nocturnal animals. He heard no screaming. Finally, he started to smell the surrounding air. It smelled like the air one would breath from a field or a grassland. He inhaled deeply and smelt the scent of nature...nothing else.
Now that he knew he was no longer where he had previously been, the man decided to finally open his eyes. He was, as he had already concluded lying on his back, looking up at a majestic night sky. It was the kind of sky no one seemed to notice anymore. With this sky, he could clearly see each and every star, all of them glowing with power. And then he looked at the queen of the night herself, the moon. It was full, glorious and shone with a pale light upon the land, allowing him to see much farther than he should have been able to do. But what he noticed the most was that there was no fire; no sign of fire anywhere. It was peaceful--no screaming; no burning; just...peace.
Realizing that he couldn't sit there and stare at the moon forever, the human sat up. The moment he did so, a wave of nausea rolled over him. He felt vomit leap into his mouth and he was forced to fight it back down. He sat in place for a minute, waiting for the nausea to end. When it did, he gingerly rose to his full height.
'Where am I,' he thought to himself. 'And on that note, who am I?' He felt his first rush of fear since he had arrived in this new land. He didn't even remember his own name. He tried to think of it, but every time he did, a sharp pain would surge through his head. He had just about given up when the answer, like with most riddles, simply came to him.
Ryan.
Ryan. That was his name, huh? It was alright. Ryan slowly looked around, finding himself in a clearing in what seemed like a massive forest. He didn't know of any forests that were as large as this one, but then again he knew little about forests in general. After observing his surroundings, he decided to take a look at himself. He was wearing a dark, zipped-up jacket with a hood in the back, black sweat pants, a simple pair of sneakers and a back pack. He realized that bits of his jacket were smoldering slightly, reminding him that the fire hadn't been part of the dream. The back pack was what intrigued him the most at the moment, so he carefully slipped it off and laid it upon the forest floor. He unzipped the top and started to pull items out.
The first item was an odd black stick with a handle and wires running up the top of it. He immediately identified it as a stun baton. He grasped its hilt and flicked the switch to turn it on. Nothing. With a shrug he placed the baton at his side and pulled out the next item--a bottle of water. THAT might be something he'd need to survive. He continued to rummage through the bag, pulling out all sorts of goods. A pen half full of ink, a few protein bars and a whole roll of bandages. After inspecting each of these items individually, he pulled out the last item from the bag. It was a photo. Looking at it in the light of the moon, he found that it was taken with him standing with another person. That other person wore a lab coat, a pair of thin glasses and had a goofy smile on his face. The name underneath read 'Chris'.
'Chris,' Ryan thought, his memory starting to come back to him. 'Oh God, Chris!' His mind was instantly filled with flash backs...the burning building, the explosions and fire. But worst of all, what had happened to Chris..?
Ryan shook his head, trying to clear it. He couldn't think of such things now, he had a bigger problem to face. If he remembered anything from Boy Scout training, it's that he needed water and shelter. He picked up the items and placed them back into his bag--except for the stun baton, which he now held. Taking a look at it, he couldn't help but smirk.
"Giving me an electric weapon with no power in it. That is just like you, Chris," he said aloud to himself. Taking his eyes off the weapon and towards the forest, he steeled his nerves. He had no idea what awaited him in the forest, but he was going to find out. Taking in one last breath of the grassy air, he began his slow march into the darkness.
/\
\/
The forest had looked a lot better from the safety of the meadow than it did from within. The tree tops were so thick that they practically blocked out the moonlight. The cool breeze that he had felt was now stifled, which helped to unnerve him a bit. But the worst part was the eyes. He could see them as he trekked through the forest, all of them watching this newcomer to their forest. Some he recognized as nocturnal creatures, such as owls and badgers, but other eyes were like nothing he had ever seen. He took note that the same pair of green eyes seemed to be following him throughout the forest.
Ryan continued to wander for what felt like hours. He had no idea where he was going and had no set destination in mind. But he knew that going back was no longer an option, so he had to continue going forward. He came to a small grotto and found that there was more moonlight here than the rest of the forest. He was considering spending the night here when he heard a sound that all who travel through the forest dread--the sound of howling. He quickly spun around to find a pack of wolves slowly approaching him from the grotto's edge. As they entered the moonlight, his eyes widened in shock when he got his first glimpse at their true forms.
Each of the wolves was covered in what looked like bark, as well as leaves on different spots on their bodies. The wolves were also larger than any wolf he had ever seen, the tallest reaching what he assumed to be three and a half feet. The fact that he was five foot eight meant little to the wolves--and he knew what they were thinking: He was prey. Ryan slowly grasped the stun baton in both hands, preparing himself for the inevitable fight. For the second time since he had awoken, he was afraid. Fighting four normal wolves would be insane, but these wolves would be impossible to defeat. The alpha wolf let out a howl and rushed him.
Ryan dodged out of the way of the pack leader's initial lunge and raised his weapon over his head, poised to bring it down on the wolf's head. But before he could, a second wolf lunged at him from the side and nearly succeeded in ripping a hole in him. Ryan rolled to his side and quickly rose to his feet, but the wolves had him surrounded now. He quickly looked back and forth, trying to predict from where the next attack would come. One wolf lunged at him from behind, but he expected this and spun around to deliver a heavy blow to the beast's skull. The wolf went down with a yelp, but the moment Ryan turned his back on the other members of the pack, they took that chance to strike. One wolf sunk its fangs into his arm, causing blood to spout from his wound. He cried out in pain and fell to one knee, trying to shake the wolf that had him by the arm.
As he continued to struggle, the pack leader jumped onto Ryan's back and sunk its fangs into his shoulder. Ryan cried out weakly and shook with all his remaining strength, trying desperately to get away. The pack, sensing that their prey was defeated, slowly advanced towards him. He gazed at them weakly, not believing that he had escaped one death, only to be instantly killed in another world. The leader snarled at him and went in for the killing blow.
WHAM!
An attack from the shadows sent the pack leader sprawling across the grotto. The rest of the wolves turned towards their new foe, snarling at it. Ryan looked over at the shadow that stood in the darkness. It stepped forward and Ryan's world was rocked. Standing on its hind legs was a zebra. The zebra also held what looked like a bamboo staff in its front hoof, twirling it in a very dangerous manner. What surprised him the most though, was that the zebra then proceeded to speak.
"Timberwolves are not welcome here. Get out now or I'll show you something to fear." Ryan didn't know if it was from the loss of blood or the terrible pain that racked his body, but he was pretty sure that he had just heard the zebra speak in rhyme. The wolves showed no intention of leaving and they slowly advanced towards the lone zebra. Much to Ryan's surprise the zebra smiled.
"So you chose to come and battle me? You will regret this decision for eternity." The first wolf snarled and lunged at her. Then the 'beat down' commenced. The zebra placed the staff on its shoulders and quickly spun, knocking the wolf out of the air. Before that wolf had even hit the ground, the zebra dashed over to another wolf and placed her hoof between its eyes. There was a loud crack as the wolf's face shattered apart and it burst into a pile of twigs. She slammed the end of her staff into the ground and used it as a pole to swing herself into a third wolf. The poor thing didn't even have time to react as the zebra placed another bark-shattering hoof into the beast's chest. The force of the impact blasted the wolf into twigs, which fell to the forest floor. And all the while, Ryan watched from his knees, unable to comprehend what was going on. The zebra landed next to its staff and picked it out of the ground, turning to face the pack leader, who was slowly getting up from where the zebra had smacked him. It groggily turned to face the zebra, who simply gave it another smile.
"Do you wish to give up? Or shall I bring your corpse back to my hut?" The wolf turned on its heels and ran off into the forest yelping at the top of its lungs. The victorious zebra let out a laugh before turning her attention to Ryan. Ryan's vision was blackening from the loss of blood at this point. He knew that he was powerless to stop this zebra even if he could fight. He felt his eyelids get heavier as the zebra approached, and he fell over just as it reached him. Before he passed out, he heard it mumble,
"I have never seen a creature such as you around. But I don't think you should lay there passed out on the ground."
/\
\/
The first thing Ryan felt when he awoke was an odd tingly sensation running through his body. He gingerly moved the arm that had been bitten and found to his confusion that it no longer hurt. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself to be staring at what looked like the roof of a hut. He slowly sat up and found that he was lying on a cot of sorts. He noted that his jacket had been taken and was replaced by some of the bandages from his bag. He looked to his left to find said bag resting upon an odd table in the middle of the room. Ryan then looked around the room and what he saw frightened him a little. There were various jars and vials of unknown substance on almost every corner of the room. A giant pot sat in one corner of the room, and something foul smelling was being cooked inside of it. He barely had time to note the tiki mask when a voice practically gave him a heart attack.
"It took you forever to finally awake. I was certain that you were going to sleep forever, for goodness sake." Ryan turned his head quickly to see the zebra from the wood entering the hut. She carried jars of something in one saddle bag and his coat in the other. Now that he wasn't being mauled by wolves, he had the chance to observe it in greater detail. The zebra was around three and a half feet, slightly smaller than the wolves that had tried to turn him into dinner. It wore some sort of odd golden rings around its neck and two others hung from its ears. Before he could make any other observations, it began to speak.
"Why do you stare at me like that, you weird boar? Have you never seen a zebra before?" she asked with a joking smile. Ryan did not return the smile. Instead, he looked over at where his stun baton lay, wondering if he could get to it fast enough before the zebra could react. It had saved him, but he still didn't trust it. Right before he made his move, the zebra frowned and shook her head.
"Do you take me for one of the fools? Did you not see what I did to the timberwolves?" That stopped him in his tracks. Now that his element of surprise was gone, he stood no chance against her. Ryan slowly got to his feet, eyeing her carefully. The zebra smiled again and tried to get him to open up.
"If I tell you mine, you must do the same." Only after he nodded did she continue. "I am called Zecora; that is my name."
"Ryan," he muttered, not liking the fact he had to give his name to someone he didn't trust. Zecora smiled once again and placed his jacket on the table.
"I had to remove this to help you heal. The medicine works fast, as I'm sure you already feel." Ryan picked up his jacket and put it back on again. He found that Zecora had even mended the tears in it. That prompted him to ask his first question.
"Why did you help me?" he asked in a small voice. Zecora was placing the jars she was carrying on whatever empty space she could find. Only when she had finished did she answer.
"If I did not intervene, you would have most likely died. But since I helped, you survived. It is in my nature to help all who are in danger. Even one like you, who is a total stranger." She walked over to the steaming pot and emptied a jar of nastiness into its depths. She picked up a spoon and began to stir, ignoring the look of disgust on Ryan's face.
"There is a town near the edge of Everfree. There you will find the supplies you need," she informed him. "They are kind souls who help the lost or sick, but sometimes they can be a little thick. If you find anything interesting, bring it to me. I will tell you what it is, completely for free." Ryan wasn't sure if he could trust this information, but he had nothing better to go on at the moment. He picked up his stun baton and slid his backpack over his shoulders. He took two steps towards the door before stopping and looking back at Zecora.
"Thanks," he muttered, before heading back into the forest. Outside he found that he was in a much clearer part of the forest, as daylight could be seen creeping in through the trees. If it was daylight already, that meant that he had been out for hours. Shaking his head and looking down, he found that a path led from Zecora's hut. He figured that if he followed it, it would probably lead him to that town of which Zecora had spoken. With one last look at the odd zebra's hut, he turned and headed off towards the town.
Another Story?!?
4698346
And a non-crossover at that! i'm intrigued
A normal, everyday human. In Equestria.
What can possibly go wrong?
A normal, everyday human goes to Equestria.
What have you done to onomonopia?!?!?!
A human in Equestria story, I'll accept this one.
This will make things interesting, especially since it seems he doesn't have anywhere better to be at this time.
Well, this is outside the norm for you; but there's no doubt you have a pretty good idea of where to go with this if your other stories are any indication.
A normal, everyday, average human stumbles into Equestria.
And dies in, like, 5 minutes.
(Seriously, 66% of the US population is overweight. The shock alone would give half of them heart attacks!)
*Alondro grins widely* This is hilarious!
And why would that even matter? Surely this rather dull-witted emo kid realizes he's 'not in Kansas anymore'?
And he keeps trying to go for his powerless stun baton when a longer piece of wood would make a better weapon at this point.
Ugh, this little twit better not suddenly manage to become the most awesome untouchable warrior in the universe, because he's already acting like a typical lame HiE.
Come on, dude, the apostrophe is your friend. Use it.
Honest opinion: this human has less than zero personality. He's instantly unlikeable simply by virtue of being a flat, dull, listless creature who already seems to do little more than blunder about without thinking or emoting beyond the level of the average robot.
How are we supposed to care about this human or what happens to him when he has nothing to identify him?
Not to mention, he already possesses a number of the traits which tend to signify a very bland cliche is in the making: 1. 'mysterious' origin from a dying world (gag, lamest backstory possible, already into bad OC territory) 2. Making a token, very feeble and unrealistic shock at memories of what he just left behind, then just as quickly ignoring it and moving on. 3. miraculous, and very dully described, dodging from the initial attacks by some monster... when an 'average' human would be too stunned even to react. 4. Constantly referencing how said human doesn't trust whatever has saved him, and displaying no natural emotion, never bothering to ask questions, etc... 5. Not freaking out as any 'normal' person would at the sight of a talking zebra. 6. Not noticing beyond a token mention of surprise so weak it can be entirely missed that despite the fact he's obviously in another world, he can understand the alien language as English. 7. Immediately going out INTO THE FOREST OF MONSTERS THAT ALMOST KILLED HIM to go off to Ponyville. The average human would respond thusly, "OH HELL NO I AIN'T GOING OUT THERE ALONE!!!!"
And Zecora is unbelievable for not offering to guide him, as she almost certainly would... only AFTER questioning him a bit more.
This is so bare-bones HiE cliche it's painful.
And as of this post, All of you stories (as far as I know) have been in the Feature box. Damn, I wish I had your gift of getting likes and Favorites. Hell, after just of 26 hours- A Heart so Cold has over 300 likes.
What is your secret? Deal with Satan? Friends with the owner of the site? A Wizard? Pinkie Pie?
4699212
Because I write Batman! In all honesty, I have no idea. People just seem to enjoy crossovers or maybe they've read my other stories and figure this one will be good as well.
4699230
hi lets be friends
Am I the only one that see that the first chapter was made on 11th Jan 2013? If so them my FIMFiction is getting screwy.
4699907
Actually this is an old story. That was the last time I edited the chapter.
4699924
But will you continue it?
4699966
Always do.
why does it always start with the end of the world for us to get there why!? just sad depressing.
4699112
"Apostrophes are friends, not food!"
4699181
For the site's best troll, it is almost crazy to see you offer critique.
4700050 Because you keep reading the most cliche of all HiE story cliches?
Most of the rest either have the human fall through a random hole in the universe and end up in Equestria versus floating dead in space or in the Sun, or inside the planet or thousands of feet in the air plummeting to his death...
That reminds me, I need to write up that HiE farce of mine "How NOT to End Up In Equestria".
Either that or they die on Earth and some god thing reincarnates them in Equestria for reasons... which almost never make the slightest shred of sense.
Omnomnivore doing a story that is not anything related to DC Universe!
That Omnom is a spy!
4700594
I can branch out ever now and then. My Trixie story wasn't DC or marvel. (You almost found me out.)
4700605
Ah! I didn't read that one!
Not the most exciting start, or most creative... I'm in
Wow, Ryan is... kind of an idiot, isn't he?
My favorite part was when zecora kicked some timberwolf butt! Go zecora!!!!
4701092 Buddy, I work in Philadelphia. I've counted the fatasses on the subway. I KNOW how feeble people are.
4700208 Well to be fair...how could anyone make a human ending up in Equestria make sense?
I'll keep an eye on this tale, wont vote on it till I know for sure how it goes.
Good luck and be creative!
4701034 Isn't every human in a HIE???
I want more of this story
4701339 not to be mean it anything.... Or to choose sides but..... This is a a story about talking magical winged and horned ponies.......... Not everything has to make sense..... Like, how do unicorns to magic? You can just go with the half assed answer and say, with your fingers reay to poof: "Magic." With poofy fingers while simulating rarity going "ooooh" and just have fun with it. I'm not trying to be mean, I'm
Sorry if I came off like that. I just wanted. To make a point. And that point is.... Talking ponies.
Another bland HiE story to add to the site's databanks. Nothing new or particularly original in this story at all.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120318033545/glee/images/d/d1/Nothing_to_do_here_by_rober_raik-d4cxltj.png
4702718 You need to see the fic about the nazi german jet pilot coming to Equestria.
Hijinks ensue to say the least .
4702738 Hitler is God![img]data:image/jpeg;base64,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
i'd like to see/read more of this....
It's hard to take a story seriously when you can't even spell the title right.
4702709 I want to make a point to: Creative Writing Classes.
This story is not what I would call a shining example of storytelling.
4703596 shining example or not.
There are many a stories which don't make sense, yet people love them. I'm not trying to make an enemy, but when you're lost, just came from a hellish nightmare and have very limited
Items.... Most people tend to panic.
This story is good on the fact that he sought out safety, cause that's what every human desires internally.
Saftey I think this story is..... A bit choppy. But that doesn't make it a bad story. I think that it is a good story and so do others, the up votes are proof of that. Is it the best? No. Of course not, no story is perfect, just like people. We all hae flaws but does that make us terrible? Not good examples of humans? (Some yes. Lol) just give the story a chance, maye you'll find that you love it, and want more of the story. It isn't a bad story. But I do agree and would say that it isn't a "shining" example of "amazing" story telling, but I DO think that it is right on the dot on how Ryan acts. That's how most people
React when lost with out prior knowledge of where they are or any other information: "find civilization, cause that's were safety is."
4704381
No. NO!! So many have used that pitiful excuse, and it's just as feeble every single time.
Upvotes don't mean a damned thing in terms of how 'good' a story is. They indicate POPULARITY. And as crap like "The Twilight Saga" and "50 Shades of Grey" abundantly demonstrate, POPULARITY DOES NOT INDICATE QUALITY.
This is why we have objective measures and writing criteria to at least establish a modicum of expectation in structure and format.
4701584 Sadly.
Oh boy, grammar mistakes in the description! This can only go well!
4704641 why don't we just agree to disagree.
It's funny how people tend to think: "what this human does is wrong, I know better what to do", yet I am pretty sure if they themselves end up in equestria, for real if it were ever possible, they'd do the same mistakes all over again, if not different ones, or make no progress at all and die right there on the spot in the dark.
Berating someone how to act in an unfamiliar situation is unjust if you wouldn't do any better yourselves in this guy's place.
Everyone's priorities and reactions in such a circumstance are different, ranging from lingering in place, to panicking or calm observation of their surroundings. But even if they do observe just fine, they may decide wrong on what to do afterwards, additionally unable to do it decently in the end.
I mean you just have to review what happened, to understand his behavior simple enough.
This guy has apparently amnesia, only regaining snippets of information over time. He also seemed to have met a terrible fate, one which we don't know how it came to be, which is actually great for later revelation (It can happen in context with many things, uncovering plot threads, possibly surprising us as well). The situation is confusing enough for anyone in place of him at this point, leaving him with insecurity and fears. Fears that invoke priorities in him, such as survival and a way to get out of the forest, something he seemed to remember from boy scout training.
To be honest the intro resembles a lot of the most well known RPG's of old, such as the Final Fantasy series.
The guy starts of with a few items in his bag pack as a 'starter package', including a none functional electric baton as the basic weapon, which is nothing more than a club at this point.
He wrangles his way through the forest, goes somewhere and gets ambushed by some wild life. Baton doesn't help much either, so before meeting a terrible fate yet again, he gets saved, by a mysterious figure no less. After some exchange of words in a safer place, he gets pointed to the nearest location for professional help on his situation.
That is a basic idea for more then a few classic RPG games.
We get:
How he got there, roughly.
A name.
A condition he is in.
A view on his equipment.
A simple goal: survival and a way to escape the forest.
A dangerous event, an associate who saves him.
And a new target for the next chapter.
Now let compare that, I just know some people will go ape shit now, to Final Fantasy 7.
1. We see a train arriving at a station, a few guys jump off the train and take out some guards.
2. We follow the big black guy.
3. We fight some security staff, learn about our inventory and basic control.
4. We try to break in somewhere, at this point we assume to be bandits or terrorists of sorts.
5. We get to Name ourselves (which reminds me very much of the scene where the character says "Ryan")
6. We go our merry way, fulfill the given job, fight some more and blow up a reactor, so we can guess our 'apparent' occupation a bit more accurately.
7. We flee from the scene.
That was basically the bombing mission / intro stage from FF7. We don't really get much more information about anything there either, neither do we get an accurate or detailed characterization, that follows much later in pieces.
It's basically the same amount of information we get on this story.
The author is writing a classic RPG story development here, and I find it disturbing how some describe it with words like 'cliche' and 'Lame'.
Cliche is a lame word in itself and those who use it for description, must be too lazy to express their criticism.
The next point is, how is this guy an 'emo' in any kind of way?
Was he crying much? No!
Was he depressive a lot? No!
Was he angrily thrashing about? No!
Was he blaming the world for his misery? No!
Was he sulking in apathy? No!
All he did was wake up, wonder, ponder, remember snippets, take a look at his inventory, wander around to get out of there, get in danger with being saved in the end, meet another stranger, be weary of said stranger, learn their name, and finally be on his way to the pointed location, on a clear path, where he might find some help.
At this point there is barely any indication of his psyche, attitude or mental state, aside from the fact that he has some form of amnesia. SO HOW PRAY TELL IS THIS ENOUGH TO REFER TO HIM AS AN EMO?
I don't see anything that would justify me to dislike the human.
Shedding pointless tears and arguments about characterizations that didn't even happen yet, makes you look much more emotional unstable, plus dump, then this character appears to be.
This is just ONE single chapter, why don't you just wait for a characterization to happen as the story proceeds?
The amount of butt hurt some people show after 1 simple introduction chapter is making me loose faith in their humanity.
Finally, how the hell are you 'supposed' to explain a human, not native to equestria, appearing in this plane, other than impossibilities?
There is only teleportation, may it be magic or technology, death and portal entering, being frozen in a cave until earth became equis, or dreaming the whole thing up.
You can only access such a plane through bridges, tunnels and time.
And so far we only got to know what was before, an inferno, and what came after, a fresh breeze in the grass field.
What actually happened, isn't even revealed yet.
Suffice it to say, I think this story deserves more credit considering what was presented so far as an intro, and less discredit from overly eager emotional readers trying to establish things worth to complain about, that aren't even there yet. Seriously guys, calm your horses, nothing is decided yet.
4705614
And you got all this from the first chapter. Impressive and very interesting.
Oh has promise...but I was expecting a diary style.
This fic was made last year on Jan. 11. How is it on the front page? Nothing bad but just how?