MLP FiM is owned by Hasbro.
All characters belong to their respective owners.
From Skies Above – Rain of Fire
A massive shadow passed through the thick clouds as powerful wings propelled it forward. With each stroke there was a loud whoosh of air, forcing clouds to part for the beast. The shadow angled downward, bringing its wings in and locking them in place.
The crimson dragon broke through the cloud cover, flaring its wings outward to slow its descent. Dark, snow covered mountain tops flew by under the beast as it flew, bringing itself closer to its destination. The tall peak reached out above all around it, stretching upwards toward the sky.
At its highest point the mountain top flattened out, giving space for huge rocks to flare outwards in a circle, almost like a stone flower. There were five of them in total, each roughly the same size, and upon two of them sat a pair of dragons.
With a loud crash, the crimson dragon grabbed hold of one of the rocks, adding more scratches to its already damaged surface. It recovered quickly from the hard landing and nodded to the other two dragons present.
“Pyrite, I am pleased to see you could make it.” Rumbled the dragon to the crimson dragon’s left.
“Sappharon,” Pyrite bowed his head to the blue dragon, then repeated the gesture to the green dragon to his right, “Glade.”
The emerald dragon made a rumbling sound in his throat, returning the gesture. Pyrite returned his attention to the sapphire dragon. “Why have you summoned us?”
“Perhaps you are aware of the commotion in the north?”
A loud growl escaped Glade’s throat. “Is that why you called us here? To discuss trivial matters such as these?”
Pyrite frowned. News had already spread amongst dragon kind about the fighting in the north of Equestria, but merely as a warning to steer clear of the area. For the most part the dragons kept to themselves, regarding relations between the other races as unimportant, unless they involved dragon kind directly. “I fear I must side with Glade on this matter. The conflicts between the ponies and the gryphons are of no concern to us.”
Much to Glade’s annoyance, Sappharon smiled, showing his gleaming white fangs from under his blue scaled lips. “I will assume, then, that you do not know the true extent of the conflict.”
“Do not waste any more of my time, Sappharon, tell us what you have to say.” Glade growled.
For a moment, Sappharon’s almost smug demeanour faded. “Very well then. Tell me, what do you know about the sky? Or, more importantly, what lay beyond...”
*
The blade-winged demons slowed as they approached the ship, spinning blades whining as they lost their velocity. As he peered closer, Valiant swore he could make out two aliens sitting on either side of each airship, hanging precariously out of the ship and directing long barrelled objects attached to the blade-wing.
The huge glass like eyes of the beasts seemed to stare at him as he hovered, overcome with shock and fear. It took mere moments for him to decide his next move. We’re leaving.
As quickly as his wings could carry him, Valiant bolted down to the Equestrian line. Much of the fighting had slowed as combatants from both sides gazed in awe at the blade-wings. If Valiant was to use this moment of confusion to his advantage, he needed to act fast.
“Retreat! We’re pulling out!”
He hit the ground hard, kicking up snow and staggering as he continued to bellow the order. Nearby soldiers pulled their eyes away from the flying demons, taking a few moments to process the order they had received. A stallion nearby approached the captain. “Sir, are you-”
“Don’t argue with me!” Valiant growled, “We’re pulling out, now move!”
The stallion nodded hastily. “Yes, sir!”
A flash of light caught Valiant’s eye, and he turned to find the source. He spotted a pair of bipeds in the middle of the battlefield. One fired its weapon at a dodging gryphon, whilst the other held an object that burned a bright red. It stood tall and raised the burning light above its head and waved its arms in the air, taking full advantage of the protection of its companion. Valiant’s fear heightened when he realised that it was a message to the blade-wings. The demons seemed to pick up on the message, as they began to move once again.
“Move south! Along the side of the ship!” Valiant shouted. Sticking to the ship would provide them with some cover, but they would have to move fast. Valiant wasn’t keen on being around for when the blade-wings attacked.
Valiant leapt off the ground, spreading his wings as he took to the air. There were several gryphons in the way, but they wouldn’t be too difficult to handle. The pegasus captain figured that the gryphons would either try to fight the alien monsters, or flee as well.
The captain flew higher, surveying the battlefield. Many of the gryphons had inched back to their lines, seeking safety in numbers. Valiant’s own forces had been split into two groups, the larger of which he had just been with. The second, smaller group was caught out in the open, fending of small attacks from gryphon warriors. Despite the distance, Valiant could still tell that the group of ponies were holding, but the presence of the blade-wings definitely had an effect on their morale. A familiar flash of light burst from a unicorn’s horn, revealing one of his lieutenants had sent a message to the Princesses. It was too late for reinforcements, but if they were to die, then at least the Princesses would know how.
The pegasus captain’s sharp eye continued to sweep across the battlefield. Casualties were already high, for both sides. Dozens of bodies lay strewn across the snow, gryphon and pony alike, as if they were dolls left on the floor of a foal’s room. Several bodies stuck out from the rest, their forms tall, with slender limbs and strange, reflective masks. No doubt the sight would not be pretty for the aliens.
The deep thrumming and swift chopping noise of the demons intensified as they began to circle the battlefield. Valiant felt a sudden urge to leave the sky. He set a course for his previous group, eager to get to ground, when his eyes caught a shape in his group’s path.
A lone biped jogged along the side of the ship, heading in the opposite direction, straight toward the fleeing ponies. He could see no weapons in the biped’s hands, evident by their movement as it ran.
An almost disturbing thought crossed Valiant’s mind. He glanced toward the half dismantled camp the previous team had set up. It wasn’t too far away, and there would probably still be rope in there somewhere. Still unsure of what he intended to do, he set off toward the campsite, keeping low to the ground. Maybe something could be salvaged from this mission after all.
*
A bright green flash lit up the dungeon as a hastily wrapped scroll exploded into existence. Princess Celestia’s head snapped up at the sudden appearance, and her horn began to glow, tendrils of magic wrapping around the scroll.
Luna reacted similarly to her sister, eyeing the scroll with curiosity. “What does it say?”
Celestia unfurled the parchment and began to read. Her features slowly darkening as her eyes passed over the hastily scrawled words.
“Sister,” Luna hissed, “What does it say?”
Princess Celestia paused for a moment, breathing in deeply. “I fear we may be too late.”
Before Luna could respond, she began to read.
“My Princess,
We have failed our duty. Gryphon forces have attacked the site. Our troops are outnumbered. We have been attacked by alien forces, both ground and air. We cannot hold our positions.
I’m sorry,
Lt. Emerald Haze”
Silence reined for several minutes as the sisters took in the grim message. Celestia’s eyes drifted back to the white sheet spread across the figure on the floor. “They will come for him, and when they find him they will be furious.”
“Only if they know where he is, and if their intention is a rescue.” Luna said, “The others all remained in proximity to the crash site, and they have already been under attack. Casualties are to be expected.”
“As are prisoners. Their technology allows them to travel between planets, sister. It would be easy for an individual to become stranded on a hostile world. It would make sense to have a method for finding him in such situations. If not, than I am certain that they can find our cities with ease.”
Luna gulped silently. “What should we do?”
Celestia sighed, staring solemnly at the shape under the sheet. “Burn the body. We must be sure.”
*
Commander Balik stared in awe as the flying demons began to move. Warriors in their path ducked aside, making way for the blade winged vehicles. Balik took a moment to marvel over the design. They had neither feathers, nor a balloon to hold them up, but still they flew. Their ‘wings’ spun in circles, so fast they looked like transparent discs. Somehow, these frightening airships held themselves aloft, and had a certain grace in their movements. Under each ‘wing’ rested a hatch, and in each hatch sat an alien. Both aliens operated massive mounted weapons. Cannons, perhaps?
The warriors began to overcome their previous fear, and began to circle around alien demons. Balik watched with interest as the alien passengers tracked passing gryphons with their mounted weapons.
Then the fighting began.
Several warriors broke off from the circle, swooping in toward their prey. Airborne archers began to rain arrow after arrow onto the blade-wings, only to have them bounce off the demon’s tough exterior. Several gryphons began to beat at the head of the beast with their weapon, but they had almost no effect. One warrior swooped down, targeting the turret under the first demon’s left wing.
*BAM-BAM-BAM!*
The mounted weapon lit up like fire, the heavy thumping of its attack echoing throughout the battlefield. Red mist erupted from the attacking gryphon’s body as it lurched backwards, falling out of the sky. More warriors charged, only to meet similar fates.
Both blade-wings began to move, one dropping in altitude, and the other rising. The hunting circles broke around the demons as the gryphon warriors sought to get away, but they did not give up in their attack. Some broke off to strike at the beasts, others fired arrows at their heads, wings and turrets.
Balik frowned at the display. It seemed that none of the gryphon attacks caused any significant damage. I guess it’s time to stop spectating.
"Bring us in closer, all weapons target the alien airships! Bring them down!”
*
Valiant Effort flared out his wings, pulling up sharply and narrowly avoiding the biped below. The alien dove to the ground, the snow beneath it crunching loudly on impact. It looked frantically around the sky until its gaze came to rest on its attacker. Valiant circled around, preparing for another swoop. Below, he could see the biped scrambling to its feet and ripping a large, shiny blade out of its sheath.
That’s it. Look at me.
The group of retreating ponies was fast approaching, their pace increased greatly due to most of the gryphons pulling away to face the aliens. Now the only attacks they suffered were the occasional arrow of two, which were easily repelled.
At the group’s head, three unicorns charged forward. Their swords were sheathed, and in their place each wielded a length of rope, salvaged from the camp. Valiant soared around the alien, forcing it to face away from the oncoming ponies. It didn’t take long for the biped to realise it was being drawn into a trap. With a final glance toward the group of guards, it took off in a sprint, heading toward the blade-wings.
“Oh, no you don’t!” Valiant growled.
The unicorns picked up their pace, charging ahead of the group. The captain entered another dive, coming in at a lighter angle than his previous. His heart pounded in his chest as he approached. There had been no sign of any advanced weapons on the alien, otherwise he’d probably already be dead.
Valiant landed hard in front of the alien, throwing snow in all directions. The captain grunted as a sharp pain coursed through his right foreleg. Need to take better care with my landings.
Trying to disguise his limp, he turned to face the biped. The alien had reeled backwards at the sudden impact, crouching down slightly and bringing its arms forward in a defensive stance. The pegasus captain snorted loudly. Craning his head back, he reached toward his left shoulder, grabbing a small handle in his teeth. With a swift jerk, the pegasus pulled free a short, curved blade. The weapon was only a few inches long, but considerably thick. The blade was designed for slashing, curving back toward the user’s head to prevent the tip getting caught in use.
The alien didn’t flinch, but began circling around Valiant. The pegasus frowned, snorting again. Not waiting a second longer, Valiant charged, lining himself up to pass by the alien on its right. The biped dodged him easily, rolling across the ground and letting the pegasus pass. Valiant, skidded to a halt, spinning around for another charge, but only to find the biped had turned tail and fled.
Valiant looked back toward his support. The unicorns were almost on them, he only needed to make sure the biped didn’t get the attention of the metal demons. Growling loudly, Valiant launched himself into the air once again. The alien hadn’t managed to get far, and the captain caught up to it in almost no time. Eyes lock onto his target, the pegasus swooped down, intent on kicking his hind legs into the alien’s back.
In a single swift movement the alien ducked low, allowing Valiant to pass clean overhead. The captain reared up, but found he was coming in to fast. Instinctively he pulled his wings to his sides and covered his head with his hooves.
*THWUMP!*
Pain coursed through his body as he collided with the ground. Valiant pushed himself into a roll to lessen the force of the impact, and came to a rest on his back. His muscles ached from the battle, and his right side was burning with pain, but as far as the captain could tell, nothing was broken.
Craning his head, he looked toward the alien, and was horrified to find the creature charging toward him, knife in hand. Valiant attempted to stand, but a jolt of pain from his injured leg sent him back down. This is it.
The alien approached swiftly, raising the blade over its head. It was mere metres away, only moments from striking, when a glowing rope shot through the air, wrapping itself around the outstretched arm. The alien was pulled sharply to its right, throwing it off balance and sending it sprawling to the ground.
A wave of relief washed over the pegasus captain when he realised what had just happened. The trio of unicorns slid to a halt in the snow, horns ablaze with magic. Two other ropes wound themselves around the alien who struggled relentlessly against his bonds. In less than a minute, it was completely bound, but still it fought for freedom.
“You alright, sir?”
Valiant let out the breath he hadn’t realised he had been holding and nodded his head, pulling himself up. “I’m fine, thanks.”
The biped seemed to glare at him from under its visor as it was raised onto the back of one of the unicorns. The knife was nowhere to be seen, presumably lost in the snow.
“We’re not out of the woods yet.” Valiant said, “Let’s keep moving!”
*
Massive bolts launched from mounted ballista hurtled toward the blade-winged demons. Many failed to meet their moving targets, but there were a few that struck home. With loud thwacks and thumps the missiles bounced off their targets.
Commander Balik watched silently from his vantage point at the head of his airship as the gryphon's attacks were shrugged off by the alien airships like stones thrown at a brick wall. They may as well have been throwing snowballs.
One of the blade-winged ships turned mid air, its rotating wings spinning harder as it climbed in altitude. It took a moment for Balik to realise that the demon was matching the altitude of his lumbering airship.
The commander frowned. “What are you doing?” Balik muttered.
Right on cue, there was a flash of light and smoke as a fireball lit up and launched from the blade-wing, heading straight for Balik’s airship. The commander’s eyes widened in fear and, acting on instinct, spread his wings and dove off the bow of the ship.
*KA-BOOM!*
Balik shrieked as his ears were assaulted by the sound. Light and wind struck at his back, throwing him off balance and sending the gryphon in a spin. The gryphon wasted no time in recovering, and turned his head to survey the damage. Balik stared in awe at the carnage above him.
The entire airship was aflame. The whole front of the ship had been ripped apart, raining down in streaks of burning wood over the battlefield. The balloon was torn up in several places, and deflating rapidly. Balik watched in awe as the entire ship fell apart before his eyes.
The blade-wings didn’t wait for a second. Immediately after firing the first shot, the demon swung away to approach another airship whilst its sister prepared to attack the third. Those in the crews of the undamaged airships that had recovered from their previous shock wasted no time in abandoning ship.
Another streak of fire made its way from one demon to another airship. This time the missile struck the side of the ship, ripping it in half in a ball of fury and fire. The balloon was torn apart in the explosion and slowly fell down after the burning remains of the ship.
In a final explosion the third airship was taken down, suffering the fate of its brothers. In mere minutes the alien airforce had annihilated the gryphon’s most powerful airborne machines almost effortlessly. The full weight of his situation finally dawned on the gryphon commander. There was no way they could stop these monsters. They were stronger than the oldest of dragons, and shrugged off any attacks the gryphons could throw at them like nothing. They were invincible.
Balik was in over his head, and he knew it. With a moment of hesitation, the commander rushed away to call a retreat.
*
“Preposterous! You do not really expect us to believe such nonsense?” The green dragon chuckled. “Your body may be fit to survive the northern mountains, but you mind clearly is not!”
“Do not insult me, Glade.” Sappharon’s eyes narrowed as he spoke in a low, threatening tone. “I speak only truth. This presence is not of our world, and threatens us all.”
“I suggest you hold your tongue, Glade,” Pyrite glared at the green dragon before turning back to the Sappharon. “Tell me, Sappharon, what do you propose we do about such a thing, hmm?”
“Their presence threatens all in this land, and has already drawn two species to the brink of war. I have no doubt it will affect the dragons as well.”
Glade huffed. “I remain unconvinced, Sappharon. Let the ponies and the gryphons tear each other apart, it does not matter to me. You will have to provide greater evidence if you wish to have me on your side.”
Much to the green dragon’s annoyance, Sappharon let out a bellowing laugh that echoed through the mountains. “Evidence, Glade? Evidence? If it is evidence you want, then follow me. I will show you all the evidence you need.”
//Contact
“Sir, are you sure about this?” The young officer faced his captain. Captain Bailey’s eyes remained locked on his terminal. The screen in front of him showed similar images to the rest in the bridge: the first confirmed footage of an alien race. Figures torn from Ancient Greek mythology scattered as the dropships fired off their first shots. Gryphons ducked and weaved through the sky, hurling spears and other projectiles at the dropships, but to no avail.
“Sure about what, Barnes?” Bailey never took his eyes off the screen.
“This is mankind’s first confirmed contact with an alien race, sir, and we’re massacring them.” The officer gestured toward the screen just as a gryphon received a few shots from one of the mounted machineguns positioned on each side of the dropship. “Yes, they were attacking those men, but we’re using bullets on bowmen. This is completely unethical. Shouldn’t we at least be trying a more peaceful approach?”
The captain sighed. “Those things were killing the Yamato’s crew, I refuse to stand by and watch them die. I know the situation isn’t ideal, but what’s done is done, and we can’t change that.”
Barnes opened his mouth to respond, but Bailey cut him off with a hand gesture. “Believe me when I say I don’t like this, but time is not on our side, and I have no intention of leaving any of those men behind. The Admiral only gave me the location of the fleet’s next jump. If they move on before we get there, then we’re on our own.”
“I understand that, sir, but we’ve already made far too much of an impact on their society as it is. Surely there’s another way to handle his situation.”
Bailey looked up from the screen. “I do not see any alternatives in our current situation. I don’t know whether or not it was the Yamato’s crew or the aliens themselves that established us as hostile, but either way we have been established as hostile. Given more time, I would consider a peaceful relationship an option, but under these circumstances that is simply not possible. Right now, my only concern is getting those men out alive and regrouping with the fleet. We are not getting left behind.”
The officer nodded, but his dislike of the situation was clear in his expression.
“I don’t like it either, but we don’t have the time to worry about this now. Is that all?”
“Yes, sir.”
*
“This is Officer Aaron Reyes of the WSC detail attached to the CRA Yamato. I’ve been captured by hostiles toward the southern end of the Yamato. If you can hear me, please help!”
“Fuck... Leroy St-Starke... W...S...C... I’m hit... I-I can’t...”
The dropship pilots were overwhelmed by the radio chatter. Civilians and security officers alike shouted and screamed their pleas over the airwaves.
“They’re all over me! Fucking help me! Jesus fucking Christ!”
The pilots lowered the first of the dropships, the small group of heavily armed and armoured soldiers in the back performing final checks on their gear as they waited to jump out into the combat zone.
“I’ve got a man down at my position! He needs immediate medical attention!”
“Bird-brained-skull-fucking-cunt! Someone help me!”
“...I can’t.... ugh... I... I can’t b-breath...”
As the dropships closed the distance to the ground, their side doors opened to their full extent, allowing the marines to leap the short distance into the snow. They held their weapons at the ready, fanning out as nearby stranded approached.
“I need a fucking medic!”
“Get off me! Get the fuck off me! Feather-brain motherfuckers! Let. Me. GO!”
“No! NO!”
Even in their retreats the alien hordes struck out at the straggling humans. The pilots disturbingly took note of the reports of captured men, quickly requesting additional support.
“Jesus Christ! He’s dying! I need a fucking medic!”
“Piece-of-shit-motherfucker!”
A wounded man limped toward the dropships. A broken arrow jutted out of his abdomen, making the man cringe with every step. Blood stained his fatigues, which bore many cuts and scrapes. Not all of the dark red stains had come from him. A marine from the dropship rushed to the man’s side.
“...I’m... I can’t....I...”
As the aliens pulled away, the final sounds of battle faded into nothingness.
“...I-I... n-no...”
Cue Rainbow Dash.
Thanks for reading guys, you know the drill: read, rate, fave, comment and tell your friends!
My first thought on seeing the chapter heading:
images4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120528043235/mlpfanart/images/a/a2/Kill-it-with-fire-random-29296574-256-192.gif
There is no words to explain the amount of Badassery i just read
An excellent chapter. At this point, I'm wondering if the Humans are going to bring their capital ships into play. Though it seems like that would be a bit overkill, seeing as the native species can't hand the scout craft (I'm assuming those are scout choppers anyway.) At any rate, I look forward to more.
Woah! Good thing this got on the feature bar. I read the first four chapters a long time ago. And was disappointed it never updated. Apparently I wasn't tracking it.
Send in da choppas! Ahahaha!
ponies reaaaaaly gonna need to stop taking human prisoners if they wanna survive
Celestia, burning the body will make it even worse. They will think you killed him, then they will actually try to kill you. Plus it's easy to identify remains.
Well we know the Equestrian solar system probably has space rocks / space debris of some kind since they have meteor showers / shooting stars. So theoretically there's nothing to disprove the existence of larger asteroids. And larger asteroids plus space ships suggests the existence of orbital bombardment of cities using asteroids. If, of course, the plot calls for it. Here's hoping.
I always feel gypped when humanity comes to somewhere in space ships, encounters resistance which is too much for their conventional weaponry to handle, and does not end up dropping rocks on the natives to illustrate mankind's displeasure (Hi, Avatar)
Another Great Chapter!
Hmm, scout ships that manage to eradicate entire pony armies... well they better bend over and kiss their arses goodbye. cause They are outmatched in anyway.
I say the Human fleet should use Orbital strikes on the Gryphon capital... FUCK YOU GILDA. Also, nice chapter. I get really excited when Humans start kicking asses left and right in these types of fics.
Ponies and Gryphons:
i19.photobucket.com/albums/b157/anarch_/doomed.jpg
twilight.ponychan.net/chan/g/src/133321734061.jpg
Pinkie Pie:
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw391_130660655896.jpg
I wonder what Lyra will think of this
pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134006734192.png
I wonder when the rest of the Main 6 are going to find out
meh just wait for the humans to bring in some real fire power. if there shocked about a couple of gunships well lets see what they think about some of our deadlier toys he he he
How far can things escalate here? I really hope the humans manage to get a few moments to really assess the situation and try some diplomacy. Maybe whoever the operational commander of the rescue force will try it, since he'll be removed enough from the overall fighting to think about the larger picture.
cant wait for the next chapter
nope. they're all fucked. no doubt in my mind
Oh wow. I can only imagine what would happen if the dragons fight the "blade-wings". I think it would be about an even match, or maybe the dragons would cause more damage.
And then the humans bring in bigger guns.
Oh and uh "If it is evidence you want, than follow me." "than" should be "then" in this sentence. Common mistake. I just feel the need to point small things like that out ever since a fic here was initially rejected by ED for its frequent spelling/grammar mistakes. Sorry.
Why did the one human run towards the fleeing ponies and away from the coming reinforcements?
YES i demand moar
Great Chapter! And just tell me you didnt hear Ride Of the Valkyries while reading this, i couldn't help but hear it. Awsome combat scene!!!
Though I have no idea why Valiant took the human as a prisoner, after seeing what the others are capable of what does he think it will accomplish other then pissing them off?
And thanks for the art, while my imagination is ok it's nice to have confermation that i'm thinking about it right.
Can't wait for more.
OOHHHHHH
If all else fails.
ogeeku.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/09/nukey_nuke_it_from_orbit_its_the_only_way_to_be_sure0.jpg
844469 your obsessed nuker yet you want them to try diplomacy lol
Yes, I finally found a story that shows what technology actually does when put up against medieval style weaponry! Thank you! :D
844329 I was thinking the same thing. we are talking tanks, jets, MLRS, battleships and HE HE....nukes.
Celestia won't be happy when Valiant tells her they captured another one.
Now it gets serious.
Well-done combat scene; I could see it in my minds' eye.
The dragons may or may not tip the balance, if they even get involved, once they figure a few things out.
Let's watch the complications pile up...
845428 No, you only need to nudge a few very, very, very large rocks to fall to the surface.
Voila! Instant nuclear winter!
Just out of curiosity, who are you miltech freaks rooting for? Sure doesn't seem to be any of the Equestrians...
My Little Apocalypse, anyone? (/sarcasm)
845876 I didn't mean anything about of blowing up the planet. I was just talking about showing off.
845941
No showing-off necessary. Everypony's getting the real down-low.
845981 I know that. but if he inserts tanks and more marines in this story then the ponies and the griffins are REALLY going to feel pain. except when, of course, the humans will ally them self with the ponies as usual.
Awesome a new chapter to an just as awesome story, i have no complaint of this chapter i think you nailed it, and you made drawings this time that's good help you visualize, the combat scene was nice you focused the focus on the characters instead of just making it a gore fest, thumbs up for that.
And now we have dragons in the fray, i think there will be some hostility there, and i hope that if there's gonna be a full scale war i more want it to be vs dragons then pony's or griffins.
and i cant help but think how everyone will react when they know the full extent of the military the human have at their disposal, those to helicopters was just a scout/rescue squad i cant help to laugh when i think of everyone's reaction to a real fight where the human come with the intent to battle.
and i cant agree whit Frank DuFresne (Doc) any more, Celestia/Luna will NOT be happy when Valiant comes home whit another one of them, especially in the tense diplomatic situation.
on a quick side not i wonder how twilight is dealing whit all this, it was a few chapters sens we saw her and a lot have happened since the assassination of the prisoner and (from the ponys viewpoint) a fuel scale war
Just read the whole thing in a marathon. It's fantastic and I can't wait for more!
Very nice, but I'm wondering how much of the overall story you've got planned out. The story's taken a lot of very sharp turns so far.
Meh. Still pretty good.
One small point. Humanity sounds *ahem* inspired *ahem* by Halo (looks, ships, even the aircraft). Might wanna distance yourself a bit from that by making something quite unique. Just a suggestion.
Edit: The whole "Burning Ryan" thing that's gonna happen is confusing me. It sounds like an excuse to bring him back to life, but I'm finding it difficult to see where it can go from here. The usual route in this kind of situation is to reveal he's just clinging on to life, which was previously unnoticed for some reason (often magical resistance). But this story seems pretty definite about it, what with his pale skin, lifeless eyes, etc.
Also, I wonder how the dragons will fit into this.
Logically the only way this can end is either with the humans leaving altogether or the whole population of the planet under the heel of the human invaders. Either will be a unique spin on the HiE concept that is sorely needed. Now, some here and in the story will call for peace, but . . . well, at this point it's just not possible. Maybe in a few decades the humans will give the ponies their land back and peaceful relations can resume, but for now they can kiss their furry butts goodbye.
Also, I have to agree with a previous poster that the portrayal of the griffins is a colossal turn off. They're an unsympathetic generic warrior culture that acts stupidly at nearly every turn. Plus, Twilight's sentiment at the beginning came off as incredibly racist.
I'm a bit of a warhawk: I request the biggest things that Humans have (ie Hydrogen bomb), and and have them demonstrate it. They should then "negotiate" a cease-fire (somehow), all of course without killing the Princesses. Or, as other people say: Bombard the cities with small asteroids, and do not get the Mane 6 involved. I don't want to see them die.
The comments. This is one of my favourite bits about writing, but also one of the scariest. When I first post a chapter I never know how you lot are going to react, and I'm usually paranoid that there is going to be a large negative response.
Anyway...
846136
Thanks mate! I'm aware of the lack of attention to Twilight, and hope to remedy that in the next chapter.
847144
I have an idea of where I want the story to go, and what I want to include, but not much else. You know, originally I had the intention of taking a similar route to Article 2, but at some point I lost my hype for the 'HiE formula' as I call it (Human meets ponies ->First meeting and misunderstandings/clashes in cultural behaviour -> Peace and friendship). I'm very proud of how this turned out.
It’s true, Halo has been a huge influence on the humans and their tech. I was really fond of the Halo universe, and I suppose you could say it’s become my general idea of space age technology. I realise that it isn’t very realistic, but I like the way it fits into the story. Ballistic weapons, semi-modern soldiers and space travel are what I want.
Burning the corpse. Celestia's reasoning behind this is her fear that they have some way of locating individuals, and in burning him she hopes to disable or throw off the tracer (If there is one. No details! )
847726
I actually found it quite surprising that no one had written something like this before. Maybe everyone’s just scared of killing ponies?
First off, I just want to make it clear that humanity isn't hell-bent on subjugating Equestria. Nor are they an unstoppable force of destruction that will roll over the land with the intent of obliterating everything in their path. I’m going to try and shed some more light on their situation in future chapters.
As for the gryphons, think of it as a study of two races and their first interactions with an advanced alien race. The ponies are trying for peace. They may not have made the best of decisions, but their intentions are good. Some situations, however, come down to kill and live, or die.
As for the gryphons, they don't just come from a warlike background, they come from a war. Relations between the gryphon clans are less than stellar, so they are more aggressive than ever. Why did I make them like this? I didn't want them to turn out like the ponies. I wanted to explore a different kind of approach to this situation. For them, it started out as another gryphon killing monster to hunt, but they turned into an opportunity to significantly increase their power.
That being said, I do agree with you that I may have been overdoing it. Whilst having them take more aggressive approaches, I didn’t want them to be an, as you put it, unsympathetic generic warrior culture that acts stupidly at nearly every turn.
I’ll have to put in some work on their portrayal.
Wow. I just wrote that much?
i have only this to say the humans have been making shitty decisions from the beginning with their shoot first and ask questions later attitude and a good idea would be to have the captured alien know that his comrad had come through but was killed in a freak accident. also i hate tranquel she killed twilights new friend Ryan and as such should face the full fury of the unicorn. well now equestria has another chance to make full contact with the humans at least.
A very sincere message to the gryphons, for causing this whole war.
I love stories that don't play humans as the weak underdog that only survives cause it has a hero on it's side. Personally, I figured the ship would have automated defense of some kind, but it was plot important that they didn't. Also I am waiting for the rest of the mane 6 to become aware that there are aliens and a war going on. also, any tag that would be used to identify and track a spacer would have to be nigh unbreakable and more than alittle fireproof to survive anything.
I need more
First of all mandatory MOOORE including
Second if the pony’s and griffons get there asses kicked by confused infantry and scout helicopters then should the humans bring in some real tech we will all be singing the curb stomp song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWRuka6I7Ng
Third I look forward to the awkward conversation between the ponies and humans. (if they get one)
Last I really hope some time down the line the griffons get found out and pay for there BS and causeing this whole thing.
buckin' badass. moar!
844729 Well hostage could help in multiple ways like diplomacy or yeah they could just kill him and piss them off.
I just had a wargasm!
848264
When should we expect the next update. This week? Please.
848012 - I think it will be the other way around. Just wait until Celestia and/or Luna get pi**ed off. Hint: any spaceship vs. the Sun or the Moon. Can you smell burning human flesh ? If you want it gentlier, imagine a huge bowling match: Luna + the Moon (as a bowling ball) vs. spaceships (as pins). STRRRRIKE!
On a more serious note - MOAR!!! This fic looks FANTASTIC! I can't wait to read more.
MOAR!!!!!!!!
God yes, show these creatures what humanity can do. You gota nuke a city or two, id love to see their reactions. Btw, has anyone ever used a nuke in a HIE fic before? I haven't seen one.
859349
Read Whiplash. It should be on this site.
845011 my response to Avatar.