- Member Since 9th Nov, 2012
- offline last seen Nov 27th, 2020
Prince Solstice
My dick maybe large, but really only in your heads. I'm quite the average guy, from day to day life, I seek answers only to get more questions. And yes, I am that guy who fucks mothers.
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I know that you weren't really focusing on writing masterpiece, but you could at least change this.
person to pony.
2071770 Oh shit, I missed that... I must be tired
Hawt
2071774 There are a lot of typos, but it didn't really quite bother me. This story still gives me the chuckle.
2071787 That's the point of all of them. glad to give you a chuckle at least.
*sees the title* *looks down at his keyboard* *looks back up and sees the title again*
"... Yeah, that's really what it says......... Okay!"
My comment style: typos first, then review. Although it’s not necessary, a “grammatically neat mindfuck” is somehow always more messed up than the other option. Heh… For quickly finding an error, just use “Ctrl+F” on what I quote. *loads clip* Here we go.
… “He surveyed his surrundings” – should be ‘surroundings’ rather than ‘surrundings’.
… “bed side table” – The correct term is actually “bedside table”… N-Not that it isn’t fine as is! :flutterouch:
… “the room was decorated in a purple,” – This just needs a noun after ‘purple’… or just remove the ‘a’. Either one works.
… “got really quite, even” – ‘quite’ should be ‘quiet’.
… “'Great, now I will appear” – No typo’s here, but I would recommend changing “I will” to “I’ll”.
… “and later a she inhaled sharply” – I get the feeling that you should just remove ‘later a she’. That would leave ‘and inhaled sharply’.
… “Please put more toast into me!” ………………………… I prefer this line as is, even though I don’t get it. I know HOW I can understand it, but… out of context, it’s just hilarious.
… “to a realazation that” – ‘realazation’ should be ‘realization’.
… “question Rarity.He instead” – There should be a space between “.”, and “He”.
… “about how a dragons” – stick ‘dat apostrophe in there! “dragons” should be “dragon’s”.
Opinion? This doesn’t really need one… but regardless, might as well: Hilarious. A bit more words? Sure, why not: I actually enjoyed how you switched between 'erotic perception' and 'humorous viewpoint' with regards to Spike. First there would be an analysis of what he'd see, then a comment about him being a bed. Analysis, bed, analysis, bed. It kept a nice rhythm that didn't get old to read.
Definitely one of the stranger things I've read on here (I tend to shy away from these), but I'm... actually a bit glad I read it... 'cause it was hilarious!
2071939 Wow, I missed so many typos. I feel rather embarrassed to be truthful, honestly I proofread the fuck out of my stories before posting.
Anyways, glad you found it humorous.
I liked these better when it was just the transformed pony that got pleasure. Just saying, this is still fairly good.
Also you forgot about Rainbow Dash.
2072877 No man, someone else wote Rainbow Dash, here.
2072950 I saw it. A bit different from all the others since Rainbow Dash got no pleasure out of being used.
2074794 Well, I am going to write one about Applejack and Pinkie Pie eventually. So get excited.
2075859 I think maybe Applejack should become an apple tree. Pinkie Pie could become any kind of kitchen tool.
2078738 already wrote Applejack's. A lot of people didn't like it. Here
I have an idea for Pinkie if you want to hear it. Maybe you can turn her into bubblegum xD
2082541 Holy crap, that is pretty brilliant. I hate writing from others ideas, so if you want to write it I am not stopping you. I had ideas of turning her into something like Octavia's cello or something. I am really focusing on the beautiful irony of the series, but somehow Pinkie's is the hardest to do... I also thought about making her do something normal
2082567
Feel free to use it. It was a spontaneous idea, and I just thought it'd fit her and this type of story :)
2082683 No guarantees that I will use it, but it's still a clever idea. Thanks for letting me use it.