Our tale begins after Twilight Sparkle tries in vain to expose the evil Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, but ends up heartbroken and left all alone, crying on the steps of the great hall. Except this time, it is not Cadenza that comes to comfort her...
(Story was composed pre-Season 3 and is inspired by lore from the Diablo series.)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I know who comes to comfort her...
It's the devil!!!
So far I've liked it.
Hmmm, I'm liking the plot, but to be honest the narrative and pacing were a bit quick. It felt like some of these scenes could have been perfectly serviceable chapters if filled in with some exposition and character development. The horse shades or the Reindeer scenes for example. Though I suppose since you're calling them "Acts" they suffice as a collection of chapters
Oooooooh boy
Not sure whether to comment on the plot twists or the Star Wars lines
By the way, you've got a broken italicized tag at this sentence, sets off the rest of the text
:|
Well...That was an experience.
Congrats Twi, you have been chosen as a living vessel for giant red monstrosity.
...suddenly, everything became dull, rushed and unexplained. Bad. Very, very bad.
2166072
Fixed it, thanks for the heads up. ;)
Oh my sweet Celestia. I LOVE THIS!
so many references
Feeling the Diablo 2 transposition, here. :)
(Twilight = Dark Wanderer/possessed Aidan/Warrior, Silver Shock = Marius).
¬
Mike.
SPOILERS
I have a question.
At some point the team of Stars Swirl want to erase the timelines to defeat the unliving queen and save the original timeline were Equestria will be saved.
My question is how do they know that the timeline of past Twilight is the original one?
2169677
i have the same feeling from time to time
But after reading so far, I'll see it through.
In overall I find it to be a good story but it gets a little confusing when using time travel en switching between timelines.
3602076 A character is introduced later on that allows Star Swirls to know without a doubt if they are in the 'proper' timeline. I never did finish going over the rework on this (the entire thing was dreamt up and typed out in two weeks or something like that), but I suppose it could be mentioned earlier, in which case it would likely be a log book in Star Swirl's tower that documents any time related magic that has been used by that universe's Star Swirl.
This story got really complex really fast, great job though
Assassin's creed, Baldurs gate 2, Borderlands 2 and a bit of Diablo 3 aswell i thing i liked reading this story very good.
You know, either you're never going to tell us what The Queen(Future Twilight) said to Rainbow, or I was just crazy and completely missed it. Guess we'll never know!
2165484 yes it is a tad rushed
... Could have been a good story. Oh well
Uhg I hate it when people mess up this moment in every story Twilight is abandoned by her friends at the wedding. The mane five have NO right to say Twilight abandoned them. They can think it all they want but they are DEAD wrong and every story I'be read so far, save for one, treats this moment like Twilight is in the wrong for being mad at them. No if you abandoned someone you have no right to be mad when you come crawling back and they aren't there waiting for you to realize your mistakes.
The title of this chapter should be La princesse est morte.
Okay, I wanted to give this story another little try becauseof my ccuriosity and normally kind nature. I didn't want to just to hasty.
Then I got to the party ofhers friends and Rainbow . What a crock of shit.. Sorry, that was too harsh.
But basically it was an unneeded complication and add on, and simply unwanted at this point. It really ebbed my desire to actually finish this Story, for probably the good.
It has a lot of references, that much is true, but references don't make a good story.
I have a feeling the true Tyrael would be hurt by the injustice of this story.
Also heroes being corrupted. Let's hope that isn't also an Overlord reference and they each embody one of the Prime Evils.
Anyway, I have said my peace. I am sorry for being hurtful..
"Good, good. Everything is just as I have foreseen. Victory will be ours." thats ominous.
Pure epicness!
Willl be there a sequel?