Geno the Giraffe
By
Metool Bard
When I first approached the O.C.I.O, I had a feeling this wasn’t going to work. The front entrance was too small. Far too small. Seriously, I don’t think even my legs would fit in that tiny little door. But, I had no reason to give up hope. I had an appointment to keep after all. I used a side entrance that was reserved for dragon OCs and found my way to the reception area.
My hopes were rekindled when I found that I had plenty of room to move around once I got to the right room. Again, it was probably a measure for the occasional (and in my experience, very rare) dragon OCs that could come into play. I walked over to the receptionist, taking great care not to step on anypony as I walked. Trust me, when you’re a giraffe, minding your step is harder than it looks. I arched my neck down and cleared my throat.
“Um, excuse me? I have a six o’clock appointment with Her Royal Eminence Twilight Sparkle,” I said.
The peach-colored mare looked up at me and raised an eyebrow. “And, you are?”
“Geno,” I replied, “Geno the Giraffe.”
The receptionist checked over the list. “Geno, Geno... Ah, here we are. Just have a seat, Mr. Geno. We’ll be with you in a moment.”
“Many thanks, my good mare,” I said with a nod. I then carefully made my way over to the waiting area. Again, there was plenty of room for me to move around. However, I noticed that there were no chairs suitable for a creature of my size. I guess dragons don’t need chairs.
Making due with what I had, I knelt down to the ground and sighed.
Perhaps a giraffe doesn’t fit into Equestria. I thought to myself. How would I function? How would I entertain guests or run my business? Zebras have it so lucky...
“Geno the Giraffe?”
An angelic voice snapped me out of my moping as the great princess herself approached me. I bowed my head in reverence.
“Y-yes, Your Highness?” I said.
“Come with me,” said Twilight. “Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of space.”
I breathed a sigh of relief. I thought the office would be too small. But, once again, dragons had to be accounted for. I followed the purple alicorn into her office.
“Have a seat,” said Twilight as she took out a bunch of papers from my desk (I assumed it was my file).
“Oh, yes. Thank you,” I said, finding that once again, the chair was too small. I swallowed. “Um, Your Highness? Could I perhaps request a larger seat?”
“Hmm? Oh, let me get that for you,” said Twilight, using her magic to cause the chair to grow. “There. Better?”
“Oh, much. Again, thank you,” I said as I sat down. I smiled to myself. Maybe this wasn’t going to be so bad after all.
“Well, let’s see here,” said Twilight, looking over my file. “Apparently, you’re aiming to be a side character in the Daring Do novels.”
“Indeed,” said I, “I am an expert at deciphering ancient languages and codes.”
Twilight nodded slowly. “So, if you’re supposed to be a fictional character, how are you talking to me right now?”
“Oh, I filled out some paperwork with a lovely mare named Pinkie Pie,” I said. “Something about being able to break something called the Fourth Wall for this interview. I don’t know, there was a lot of legalese in the paperwork. Or at least I think it was legalese.”
“Of course it was Pinkie’s doing. I don’t know why I’d expect otherwise.” said Twilight, rolling her eyes. “Well, apart from that, this looks pretty impressive, Mr. Geno.”
As she continued looking over my file, I noticed a tantalizing tray of mints on her table. Twilight seemed to notice this and smiled.
“Oh, help yourself,” said Twilight.
“Thank you,” I said. “Doreimi!”
On cue, my fine feathered friend flew from off of my back and snatched up one of the mints. Twilight noticed this and raised an eyebrow.
“Um, Mr. Geno? What was that all about?” she asked.
“Oh. Yes, I probably should explain,” I said sheepishly. “As a giraffe, I need to keep all four hooves on the ground at all times while standing, or I’ll lose my balance. To cope with this, Doreimi here acts as my hands... er, hooves.”
“Uh huh,” said Twilight. Her expression was hard to read. I wasn’t sure if she approved or not. “So, what’s your place like?”
“Well, it’s not a typical pony home, I assure you,” I said. “Being as tall as I am, I’d probably have the largest house in the city of Hoofington, as well as the largest door. Also, my furnishings would be a bit, different.”
“Different how?”
“Well, everything would be bolted to the walls or ceiling,” I explained. “The only things that would be on the ground would be beds and chairs and such.”
“I, see.” said Twilight. “It would probably be difficult for a pony to relax in such a, big house.”
I honestly couldn’t argue with that. Nevertheless, I felt as though I still had a shot. “Th-that’s just one aspect of my character, Your Highness. I think you’ll find that I’m very considerate, intelligent, and...”
“Considerate?” asked Twilight, cutting across my train of thought.
“Um, yes,” I said nervously. “I, try my best not to step on other ponies. You know how it is, being a giraffe and all.”
“I can’t say that I do,” said Twilight tersely. She then pulled out a red stamp, and I knew that couldn’t be anything good. “I’m sorry, Mr. Geno. Your request for entry into Equestria, even if it’s into the fictional Daring Do universe, is denied.” She punctuated her statement by stamping my file. Sure enough, a red DENIED sign was there, as clear as day. My expression drooped.
“I was, expecting that,” I muttered. “It’s my size, isn’t it?”
Twilight sighed, “I’m not going to sugarcoat it, Mr. Geno. You have a lot of good ideas, but they just won’t work in an Equestrian setting. A bird acting as your hooves? Desks bolted to the ceiling? The fact that you have to watch your step all the time? It, just wouldn’t work out.”
“I understand completely,” I said. “Will you consider a revision?”
“Well, of course,” said Twilight. “Honestly, I’m giving you an A for effort. There aren’t many giraffes in Equestria, after all. Plus, you’re a lot more pleasant than some of the other OCs I had to deal with. Seriously, I had to deny five black-and-red alicorns this week alone, and all of them didn’t take the news as well as you did.”
I had to blush. “Th-thank you, Your Highness,” I said as I got up. “I-I hope to see you again soon.”
“We’ll see.” said Twilight. “Have a good day, Mr. Geno.”
I bowed my head in reverence, and made my way out of the office. It wasn’t nearly as bad as I pictured it, but it went more or less the way I expected. I turned to Doreimi, who simply offered me a shrug as I sighed.
So close, yet so far.
Aww... Poor guy...
2211097 Don't worry, this particular case study has a happy ending. As I mentioned, this was more or less my actual thought process while creating a giraffe OC for my own story.
Hmm...Hey, what would I have to do to submit an OC for this story? Or, well, something like that.
2212576 Basically, write out a story where an OC you create gets rejected entry into Equestria because of something obvious or something ridiculous, put it onto a google doc, and PM me the google doc.
2212746
Would it be OK if I could just make it as an unpublished story here on FIMfic and then link it over to you? I don't have access to Google docs.
2213761 ok sure. or you can PM me the text and I can format it myself?
*Laughs* Oh my god I cannot express how much I want to see more of Geno, he sounds so sweet and great fun. Is it bad that derimi immediatrely made me think of Banko-Kazooie?
2214309 Honestly, I didn't draw the parallel to Banjo-Kazooie when I came up with the idea for Doreimi, but I kinda see where you're coming from.
Besides the mindset of making this a parody of my thought process while creating a giraffe OC for my own story, I intentionally made Geno a lot more pleasant than some of the other case studies. I did this because unlike OCs such as Shining Moon or the countless black-and-red alicorns that'll no doubt be referenced innumerable times, this is actually an original idea that just needed a few tweaks, and I wanted to reflect that in his character.
2214405 It never occured to me that you had, i'm just an oddity at times It
s definitely nice to see a gentler OC than the really out there cases.
2214405 *Helix, the mad scientist oozes around you like a cloud, wrapped in his master's chaos* Poor little giraffe! Did those racist ponies deny you for being a minority species? Simply because of your... physiological difficulties (which I do believe you handled so well!) they won't let you live among them! Just think of how the griffons and minotaurs must be treated! And the dragons! And what about those poor bison? Attacked by those nasty ponies who tried to destroy their native culture! Is it any wonder they don't like the namby-pamby ponies and their silly Princesses? *he whispers in your ears* But we can solve those prejudicial problems! Join us... we're all the same here. We're all mad here! Equals in arms, equals in revenge. And we shall create a paradise, a lovely dance of unending chaos with our exalted and erratic King forever enthroned atop his candy clouds! *he laughs* It will be glorious! And no one will ever say you don't belong there. All are welcome in the Kingdom of Chaos! Join us... in Discord's Army.
2226099
Um, yeah. A bit too late there, Helix. The necessary tweaks were already made before I submitted this chapter. Your argument is somewhat sound (which is ironic, considering it's presented in a crazy way), but I still don't think your recruitment effort would've worked. Unless you planned for Discord to join forces with Ahuizotl.
2226289
Metool, don't listen to the scheming monster known as Alondro! I wasn't able to beat him when I fought him last, and I haven't heard from Twilight about whether she contacted the Princess. Plus, I know from reading Equestrian law books (sent to me by one Pinkie Pie), that if you are a hero and do good deeds, you are allowed in Equestria. I need to do a good deed, like stopping this evildoer, helix.
He just wanted to be a fictional character. Why must the world be so cruel?
Poor giraffe guy. Why must every pony look down on him... figuratively speaking of course.