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This story is a sort-of sequel and expansion on the events portrayed in both Alex Warlorn's 'Dark World' as seen here: Dark World Apple Tree and WandererD's magnificent fanfic The Changeling Queen
I like to think that it's not 100% necessary to read their works to read this one, but it does help. And those stories are very fine pieces of work in their own rights!
My deepest thanks to both authors for allowing me to reference their works.
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I'm sorry, I love the story - take my upthumb and star - but I just cant feel sorry for Diamond Tiara. Sorry. ^_^;
Very good.
Very nice story, I just read this while surfing through deviantart last night. I love the Queen Twilight angle, and I find DT to be a very under represented character. She made a valiant last stand here.
2282708 No, no, it's all fine. You don't have to feel sorry for her. Thanks very much for liking the story.
2282828 Thank you.
2282973 Oh good. XD Sorry, it's just .... well, she's evil. Like I expect her to kick a puppy in an episode.
2282845 Thanks, and I find I tend to make a lot of characters act rather more... I don't know if 'heroic' is the right word, but maybe 'physical' is, when I write them. Given that my earliest literary loves as a boy were the Conan stories and various heroic fantasies, that's probably to be expected.
2282979 I don't know that I could go with evil, but she's definitely a nasty little bully and jerk. If she ever gets hoofed in the nose by Apple Bloom I will shed no tears.
2282979
She has been rather flanderized hasn't she?
I don't like to swear on this site, but.
HOLY S**T
That was intense, I've never felt for Diamond Tiara, but, but woh. Twilight, nuts, Filthy Rich, nuts, all of,'Changeling'ville, bluddy insane. I'm actually scared from reading this,amazingly gut wrenching, awesome job Ardashir... Now I'm going to hide under a blanket and give a second look to everyone I meet...
This is one of those stories that are so perfectly-written that I desperately want to upvote it... but it hits the only theme in all of fiction that I hate with irrational passion. And that makes me feel bad, because this so richly deserves my upvote.
2283195 Sure-diddly-has! :D
2283251 Also, Changelingville. LOL. Headcanon accepted.
Hi,
Great story, love the idea of Screw Loose as Diamond Tiara's mom - did you come up with that? Diamond was an interesting choice for the last-pony standing, and I definitely got the 'Midwich Cuckoos' crossed with zombie apocalypse vibe that you were (presumably) going for. I thought you pulled your punch a bit with the ending though - what was the thought process that went into that, if you do not mind me asking?
Yours,
JoE
I feel so bad for Diamand Tiara, but at the same time I know it's the best. I once read a fictional story about child named Bert (I rember cause that is also my name). He gets new neighbours that are mostly nocturnal. The neighbours have a child the same age as Bert and they go to th same school. But Bert notices that the little village slowly changes. More people become nocturnal, more bats fly around a night and his class-mates look paler than before. When he deduces that his neighbours are vampires and nearly the whole town is turned it is almost too late. He makes/steals a few weapons (garlic from the market, a cross and a bucket of holy water from the church and a wooden stake). He baricades himself in his own chamber when he finds out his parents are also vampires.
And then comes the same moral dillema that Diamond has to face. His parents and old friends come at night one by one and try to convince him to come out of his room. They all say that they don't want to hurt him. One day (Yes, day) he decides it's time to kill his parents, he takes his wooden stake and goes to his parents room. In the end he can't do it, Bert drops the stake and joins his parents in their bed.
I like that story cause he in the end chooses to become a monster just to be with his friends and family.
One of the best sympathetic Diamond Tiaras I've ever read, staying in-character yet making me feel for her. The story was exquisitely tragic, horrifying, and bittersweetly beautiful. Thank you for this.
2283251 Thanks for the words of praise! I should add, though, that since Twilight's transformed all Ponyville she no longer feels a need to change ponies or other creatures, so everypony else is safe. For now. Unless something happened that killed dozens or hundreds of members of her swarm, at which point the 'recruiting drive' instinct starts up again.
2283266 Thanks for the honest praise. And while I enjoy upvotes you don't have to.
Out of curiosity, just what is the part of it that you despise? The gentle, innocent, playful ponies getting transformed?
2283865 Thanks for the comment. Myself, I'm less a zombie apocalypse guy and I was going for more of a 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' and/or 'Invaders from Mars'. Though being compared to The Midwich Cuckoos is to be placed in very fine company!
As for Screwloose as DT's Mom, that's an idea from Alex Warlorn's stories. In fact he wrote an entire story arc that goes into MUCH greater detail about Diamond, Filthy, and Screwloose, than this story does, and I recommend it without reservation to anyone who wants to know more about them as they're presented here.
But how do you figure on me pulling my punch with the ending? The ponies still do retain most of their original personalities. Their main difference is that they have this sort of empathic web or pool that connects them and allows a limited communication throughout the swarm; and of course they can shapeshift. Well, that and they want to stick close together, so things like Dash's former desire to become a Wonderbolt no longer makes sense to her. But all that aside, you'd still know them as the ponies they once were.
2284472 And I thank you for the praise. And if you want to see an even more sympathetic while staying true-to-canon Diamond Tiara, then please check out Alex Warlorn's works for MUCH more along those lines.
MMM, horrorfic
2284767 It has nothing to do with the specific characters and everything to do with the theme. This theme generally takes the form of a hive mind or collectivist existence in which people are dragged kicking and screaming into it. A standard feature of said existence is that those in it are content and happy no matter their previous feelings. Those integrated immediately cease to resist the existence in any way and when approaching others that they want to forcibly integrate, assure them that it's so wonderful and they'll be so happy and it only hurts a little bit honey but it's worth it. And the integrated entertain no doubts whatsoever about forcing everyone they can into their collectivist existence for their own good. Finally, such stories typically end with the last survivor either starting the conversion process, or emerging perfectly happy with it.
I hate this theme to an utterly irrational extreme no matter how well it's written or no matter who is having it happen to them. I think part of my hate for it, though, is that there is never any doubt at all among the integrated; everyone likes it once they're dragged away screaming. If I could approach the theme without losing my lunch, I'd dearly love to take it in a different direction but I just can't manage it.
I'll emphasize once more, however, that this is a fantastic work that I would upvote if not for my irrational hatred of the theme at work.
2285263 Thanks for that answer. Yes,I agree with you -- this kind of thing is very creepy, but this is intended at least partly as horror. It's supposed to be creepy.
And the transformed ponies did have their minds messed with enough to make them like what they've become (though it should be pointed out, they still do have individual personalities).
Thanks again for being so straightforward.
2285378 I realize that perfectly well. It's just different for me in that my general reaction to horror is either amusement or indifference; this is the only one that I actively hate.
You're welcome.
It was easy because you invited elaboration and your work was exceptionally high-quality.
2285406>>2285378 Heh, this is funny, actually. When I wrote the Changeling Queen it was to evoke those exact feelings of horror you two are describing and yet, so many people would comment that "it's a happy ending!" go figure!
2286854 I think that's because it's not made explicitly clear at the end of the story that Twilight has forcibly converted all her friends and the CMC and a few other ponies. Ardashir makes it impossible to miss that everypony in Ponyville has been systematically dragged off and turned into changelings. On the subject of your story, tho, I did think that there was a pretty abrupt leap from "try to find a cure" to "oh, look, I'm accidentally turning Spike into a changeling" to "I know, I'll forcibly convert ALL my friends into changelings". I know, it's not really the right place to mention it but since Twilight making that rapid leapfrogging of thought is the entire basis for this story, it was on my mind.
2284791
Let's say that I was expecting a different set of possible endings – in part based on a false memory that DT was mentioned at the end of 'Changling Queen', and expecting you to frustrate that expectation. It seems to me there are four options for what happens when a pony becomes a changling. 1) The pony continues fundamentally the same, and therefore the Changeling's expressed utopianism ought to be persuasive to unchanged ponies. 2) The pony dies, and a changeling is born with that pony's memories, but knowing that they murdered that pony. 3) The pony dies, and a changeling is born with that pony's memories and honestly believing they are that pony. 4) The pony is transformed into a changeling, with their old memories (and whatever 'personality' is created by the sum of the experience represented by those memories) but with a different brain and is only able to form that personality/act in a way that is alien to the pony they were before. I wrote 'Changing of Rainbow Dash' in part to explore the issues of identity raised by possibilities three and four, and I thought you were coming round to addressing a similar issue (particularly, I thought Screw Loose was a stroke of genius, as she's already undergone just such a change whilst remaining a pony, by going insane). On the other hand, I slathered that story in sweet, sweet clop to get the audience to take their philosophical medicine, and I doubt the writing is better for it (it's also now probably nudging this story inappropriately, since they're presently lonely stablemates. Sorry).
I think the three possible endings I'd expected for Diamond Tiara were 1) DT chooses to die somehow (probably heroically) as an assertation of her individuality 2) DT and her mother escape, but are doomed to carry disbelieved warnings ('cause, you know, Madmares) to equestria as they continuously flee Sparkle's growing hive – call that the Perdido Street Station ending, 3) DT is transformed as you chose, but that the ending evoked more of a 'Stepford Wives' feeling.
Alternatively, a story whose theme was 'ponies are the real monsters' would've supported the existing ending, but I didn't quite get those notes from the story – although I can see the places where they are sounding, well enough (for example, the treatment of Screw Loose by ponies). In part, I think it is the less-than-charitable actions of the CMC as changelings that causes that interpretation to fail – they ought to be more forgiving towards DT as changelings, not more vengeful. I suppose perhaps the mode is that ponies are ponies, even when they're changelings, and that nothing much changes even when you go through huge changes, and that it just so happens that in this case for this particular pony (DT) that her life gets better (because of Screw Loose) – but if DT hasn't gone on a journey of character development to win that payoff, then it feels rather unsatisfying. It could be argued that this is the CMCs story, told through DT's eyes, but again, it feels somehow unresolved to me.
Still, it's an excellent story and an excellent read for me to get down to the level of thinking about the theme, and wondering if perhaps I've simply missed something.
2285378
That's the problem you inevitably run into when dealing with any kind of mind-altering spells/treatment/procedures. These things cannot be evaluated objectively, simply because every possible point of view is biased.
- You cannot trust person's own opinion after the transformation, because the transformation itself could have messed with his perception
- You cannot trust person's own opinion before the transformation, because he may genuinely be suffering from some kind of mental illness, while believing himself healthy and rejecting the treatment
- The usual way out is to make judgement on what the society is considering 'normal', but who can tell that the whole society's logic and moral values haven't been already subverted? Granted, the probability of this scenario is rather low in usual circumstances, but changelling invasion doesn't exactly count as 'usual'.
Loved the story, btw.
2287441 Thanks for your comments on the story. I just wish I could respond at the length and in the detail that they deserve right now.
2286854 Well, DT had more of a horrified response to everything. Twilight was changed before she even knew what was going on, and by then the instinct to 'gather a swarm and create my hive' was fully in charge.
That and you showed us afterwards when the swarm had settled down, and it seemed fairly obvious that Twilight's swarm lacked the locust-like attitudes of Chrysalis (attitudes that seem to be brought out even more in the IDW comic series). It left me feeling that the ponies were still the ponies, just different physically. But thanks for reading this, and thanks even more for writing that story in the first place. It's amazing work!
2287078 Thanks for going into that amount of detail, and I regret that the story failed in some ways (which you were good enough to point out) while rejoicing that it succeeded in others.
And with the CMC versus Diamond; well, they probably never really saw her as a 'pony like us' rather more 'that mean so and so that makes us miserable' (I wasn't very forgiving of the bullies I had to deal with in school). Besides, the transformation heals all physical and psychological injuries, so if they DID hurt her in the process of cocooning her, so what? She'd just heal it all back and forgive them anyway, right?
I figure that they got a very stern lecture from Queen Twilight after the fact on their behavior, and Twi, their big sisters, and Cheerilee made them go and apologize to Tiara-ling. And she in turn apologized to them once she understood how much she'd actually hurt them.
2290011
The top of your reply makes me think that you're feeling a little negative. Please don't. I think it's an excellent story, fine entertainment and raising serious philosophical points. That's not nothing. In fact, it's a lot!
JoE
2293793 Yeah, feeling a little negative, but it's got nothing to do with the story or your response. Thanks anyway for the concern. And again, glad you like it.
Poor Diamond.
2296249 I agree. And thanks for the watch, the fave, and the comment.
Say, does anyone reading this know how to imbed links to other stories on this site?
2302546
Pretty sure there's a button for weblinks in the in-page edit tools.
2296249
She has become one with a big happy loving family.
2329425 Found it, thanks for the tip.
Who ever said an assimilation story had to involve characters being turned into lumbering, emotionless minions that only know how to assimilate others? Normally when you have a story like this, those assimilated generally lose a great deal of brain power to give the heroes a fighting chance. Seeing the transformed behave with more intelligence is something on the road less traveled in this genre, and it helped make this an interesting road trip.
This story has an exemplary amount of mood whiplash right in the first quarter of the story. A bright, sunny day makes for a pretty impressive shadow, and this story really captures that aspect. Looking back on that one line:
That's a pretty powerful start when compared to what happens afterwards. The beginning almost resembles something out of a slice of life if we overlook the mention of Diamond's hospitalized mother. I was actually a bit surprised that this went down the route of ponies actually becoming changelings rather than just being replaced by them. It's a different take on the standard look at changelings, and I think it works even better. The replacement angle is more akin to an alien invasion story while the transformation one is more akin to the zombie apocalypse. While the first has its own merits, it lacks in the emotional aspect the second has because we know they're not actually facing their actual loved ones, just impersonations.
As far as I know, zombie apocalypses come in two flavors: dwindling party and sole survivor. This story made sure to make one of the most powerful moves in the chess game of writing for the latter group: establish isolation right off the bat. While we had a few glimmers of hope now and again to provide, well, a few glimmers of hope, this truly was Diamond Tiara versus the changeling army. She had no one to call her ally through this story's entirety, and we all knew it. Next to death, isolation is probably the strongest force in the land of the dark author. However, in this story, that's counterbalanced by the fact that Diamond's actually trying to escape into isolation. She's running away from joining a collective that would deprive her of isolation for all time, yet it's the uncertainty of that truth that continues to keep the reader from losing comprehension of why Diamond's even trying to escape. It does, however, leave plenty of room for the reader to develop their own opinion on whether her getting away is for the best or not.
I have no complaints toward Diamond's characterization. It hit most of the key points for standard Diamond portrayals: rude when things are casual, serious when things get serious, empathetic towards those she's close to, desire to retain individuality, strong-willed determination to get her way, and it would seem you went with the 'unsatisfied with cutie mark' trait as well. Last one worked well in this case for the story's central theme of 'changelings are superior'. I noticed that a great deal of Diamond's characterization revolved around her mother. A lot of her thoughts and dialogue seemed to revolve around her mother.
From what I've seen, the premise of Screw Ball wasn't included in the source material that spawned this piece, but from the way this was written it felt like it was. The first introduction to it felt offhand, like it was something I should already know. If that aspect was continued from somewhere else, you'll have to excuse my ignorance, but just from this story alone I think it could use a bit more elaboration.
There's a lot to be said about how the changelings were set up in this story, but I can only say so much in one sitting, so I'll just mention the main thing I liked about them: their indifference. The changelings were presented as a very organized, very powerful group of species, potentially able to alter the minds of those they capture. Throughout this dramatic little tale, Diamond continues to escape time and time again, but the changelings are never worried about her. They never even once consider that she could get away. They never imagine she could pose a threat to them. They even let her run off the first time. If this were a different kind of story, their underestimation of Diamond would end up being their undoing. However, the ending to this story proves that they truly are a force to be reckoned with. It's at that point that the reader truly realizes how hopeless the world this story takes place in is now. Diamond didn't get away because of anything really special about her. She's just a loose jelly bean that fell out of the bowl. She could only escape for as long as they decided not to reach down and pick her back up. The changelings were the real stars of the show here, but Diamond Tiara really helped to emphasize their power. 'Changelings are superior' certainly was a very prevalent theme in this story, and I really like how you presented it.
This story's dark. This story's grim. This story's powerful. This story's good. I'd say it's a plate of waffles with a couple pounds of chicken liver hidden underneath. You know something's under the waffles, but you don't realize the treat you're in for until you get past them. Thanks for writing this story. I wish you the best in your future ones.
Also, I caught a little thing you might want to correct:
Diamond froze as came to the end of the alley.
Make the most!
2386668 First of all, thanks for liking this story enough to post such a lengthy comment on it. I can't respond at length right now, sorry, but I do want to remark on this:
From what I've seen, the premise of Screw Ball wasn't included in the source material that spawned this piece, but from the way this was written it felt like it was. The first introduction to it felt offhand, like it was something I should already know. If that aspect was continued from somewhere else, you'll have to excuse my ignorance, but just from this story alone I think it could use a bit more elaboration.
This story was done as a follow-up to two other stories, with one being done by Alex Warlorn. In his Pony POV series, Diamond Tiara's mom is Screwball, and there's a lengthy arc that goes into great detail about their relationship -- unfortunately, it gets used against DT by her new 'friend', Discord.
And that mistake -- oof! Thanks for pointing it out.
Thank you again so very much!
2393209
I thought that might be the case. Good then. That means this story's even stronger. Hooray! :D
I know I always enjoy getting lengthy comments. I like to offer that same pleasantry when I read a work, especially a work with a lot of effort and quality put into it like yours. Thanks for taking the time to read it.
That thought went through her head as she threw the healthy and nasty-tasting alfalfa sandwich her father’s maid had put together for her into the garbage.
That felt SO IN CHARACTER.
2789485 It just came to me literally as I was writing it down. I wish I could be that clever when I was actually sitting and thinking about what I want a character to be doing or saying!
Thank you for writing this.
2841403 You're welcome, and thanks for your own writing which helped to inspire mine.
Wow. I... wow.
It broaches an interesting philosophical subject, I think. On the one hand, everyone seems genuinely happy after their conversion.
On the other hand, those conversions were all, or were mostly all done without their consent, and regardless of their behavior afterwards, it seems safe to assume that even if they do still have free will, that it can be subverted at any time by Chrysalis.
So the question then becomes if that happiness is worth ultimately not having a choice. Or if what is undeniably the greater good should be made manifest even if it must be made manifest without the consent of society as a whole, or of the individuals in that society.
3107509 Thanks for the comment on the philosophical elements you saw in it. I have to say, though, that those elements were all brought up by the original authors WandererD and AlexWarlorn so they deserve more praise for them then I do.
But I should add that if you check out WandererD's original story you'll see that Chrysalis changed Twilight into the new Changeling Queen only when she (Chrys) and her entire swarm was dying. So far as Twilight and the other Hive Ponyville Changelings know, they're the only Changelings left in all of Equestria.
And thanks for letting me know that you found so much food for thought in this story!