A strange pony has made a crash landing in Ponyville just as Pinkie's senses predicted. What they didn't see coming was that this pony was made of metal and has a glowing mane and tail. What is this new pony? What could his appearance mean for the future of Equestria?
Interesting.
I will be following more before I decide yay or nay.
EDIT: Changed my mind while thinking on it a few more seconds.
YAY and fave.
Having "more show, less tell" in future chapters would be a great improvement.
I just hope our main character learns about emotions and can integrate them into the computer.
nothing like seeing a robot that's embarrassed, right?
I didn't think Steele Mane would really get an emotional state. Nice.
And I don't feel sorry for Trixie one bit at all.
Nice. Cybernetic suits. I love it.
Awesome. Just awesome
Nicely done man. I especially like how my character came out.
If anyone wants a hint, Chaos Control could be kind of like Shadow the Hedgehog's unknown brother from the Sonic universe. Shit went down so he ended up here in our pony world. As for his eyes, well, it's a mystery even to me...
1st. Writeing from my phone so format and such will suck
2nd. This isn't finished so there really isn't much i can say about the story itself.
Alright originally i saw the title and just blew it off as "self insert" lameness. God damn was i wrong, i mean the concept is kind of cliche but who cares its a robot pony, thats just awsome. Your aproach to the character itself was entertaining and believable; it felt a little rushed but that really doesn't matter because it's a robot in a magical world. Whose to say how magic will affect technology?
The only reason i know what this is and am even going to bring it up is that i just read Ezn's guide to pony fiction writeing and it ruined me. So like someone commented on an earlier chapter "more show, less tell". In the first couple of chapters this was blatently obvious and however slight it may have been still made the story just a little tedious to read. However as the story went on it seems like you took the advice and adjusted your writeing style accordingly. Whether this was intentional or not, i can't say but it removed my only complaint i have for the fic. It also added somthing in that i felt like i was watching you develop and come into your own writeing style a little bit. This didn't add anything to the story itself but rather made a connection between you and the reader that made me feel sort of involved in the growth of you and your story. Not sure if that made sense but i meant it as a compliment so ya.
All in all so far so good, as was the case with your previous oc nightshade im loveing it. I wouldn't go so far as to call your approach to the emotionless computer archetype avant-garde but it is definatly pushing some boundrys, simply beacuse it was a point of conflict rather than the usual preface to later conflict(good example of this in the fic "my little glados" in which glados immediatly accepts her new emotions with little to no internal conflict). As far as the other ocs go i really have no opinion and you can't really fix any issues i have with them so im not even going to bother; just know that chaotic pony's is my favorite for being unobtrusive.
Nicely done.
Funny thing is I really like AJ so it's only fitting my OC stayed with her...
2364154 Glad you like him. Unobtrusive is his way of life. In a PM chat with our author I mentioned my character likes to stay hidden and will make it a point to not be seen.
He even will wipe memories of those who have seen him in action to keep the silence. All in the name of balance.
Of course, that's gonna be hard to do with the way things have gone down already...
2364154 Glad I was able to disappoint on the self insert idea.
2366049 just so you know, I don't plan on making any romances between any of the characters. sorry to disappoint.
2368098 Didn't want any romance anyways. After all, my character is 3 times the size of most mares. Things would be awkward once deep romance started...
When I said I liked AJ I meant myself personally. I was raised as a country redneck after all.
That was cool. I keep getting a sense of Thor everytime I read about Nightshade Smoke's tactics.
And since Chaos Control has exerted himself so much, it's time for a long nap. Chaotic energy exertion really takes it out of ya. (har har)
I have an idea as to what Malcom has planned with Celestia. If so, we're up shit creek without a paddle...
This was awesome. Nice ending for Steele Mane.
Error error error no logic found, repeat, no logic found!
This seems completely illogical.
I swear I am hearing Soundwave every time a robot says "affirmative".
Malcom is a complete ass.
*Firing Cross-Demensional Friendship Cannon*
LOL LAZARRR
Rainbow Dash gets a Thundergun... Holy fuck!
IMA FIRIN MAH THUNDERGUNS!!!
LazerShy= Fluttershy
Thunder Dash= Rainbow Dash
No taking these names they're copyrighted.
I need to think of names for everyone else... let me think.
Chaos Control is a reference to Sonic.
A real ass-kicking was comenced.
I love Gravity Hammers!
Raristar= Rarity
Shocklight= Twilight
Jackwhip= Applejack
Boominkca= Pinkie Pie (Pinkimena Diane Pie)
Ze Copyright on the nicknames. Remember it.
Damn this fuck is amazing!
This made my day, all the way!
*fires laser at Malcolm's ship before he abducted trixie and starts singing burn baby burn*
SEQUEL pwese
2827293 I'm glad your enjoying my stories.
background music :
3472976 Interesting choice of bgm for this chapter, I like it.
so make a sequel !
ERRROR ERROR -inside memories-
-Playing GTA 5-
SHIT I JUST GOT BLOWN UP YOU LIL FAG.... oh celly what r u doing In here OH U NOT GETTING THESE MMRIES"
Love the story, but Malcom feels a bit rushed and over the top. Also, the breaks between scene could use a little more work. Other than that, great job!
i keep reading steele mane as a monotone voice.
it just adds to the effect.
I want to become a real boy!!
2394133
Pinkie Pie= PieZooka
Rarity= Starity
Applejack= Electrojack
Twilight Sparkle= Twilight Blaster
Here are my thoughts for the other four names you can use these if you like.
“One moment please, begging self-repair process.”
should this be beginning because im not sure how you beg for repairs (unless it's praying then I know allot!)
Oh look it's generic evil space overlord #22045
OH LOOK IT'S GENERIC EVIL SPACE OVERLORD #22045
I didn't realize Steele Mane belonged in the Lantern Core.
2394105
I just hear K9 from Doctor Who.
When did this fic turn into PowerRangers?