It's a perfectly normal day in Ponyville,and Sweetie Belle,Applebloom and Scootaloo are relaxing in the playground near the school when a mysterious comic book appears.Each page details a horrific even from Equestria's history,as well as several near catastrophes that were averted by groups of ponies.2 of which are fairly recent.
Not knowing what to make of it,they take the comic back to their clubhouse and hide it.
Rated E 10+ by the ESRB. May contain infrequent swearing.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'll say this much, I'm interested. tracked
Quite interesting. With the exception of a few grammar issues here and there (Mainly a lack of spaces once in a while), I don't really see anything wrong with this.
Nice idea to do a MLP/Persona crossover
I'm tracking and commenting. Rating will come with a few chapters
-Glassed
Pretty decent, but you may want to check your grammar over. Every time you put in a punctuation mark you missed the space after it. Remember that punctuation generally tags on to the end of the word, and unless it's a contraction of some kind, you need a space after it.
Yep, this is the stuff!
myfacewhen.net/uploads/1822-thank-you-internet.jpg
-Glassed
"The Chariot and The Fool lit up, revealing Applebloom and Scootaloo"
Wait... so either Applebloom or Scootaloo is The Fool... yet Sweetie Belle, The Judgement, was chosen to enter the Velvet room?
Now I am really intrigued.
202477 That was something I developed as a force of habit from Fanfiction.net.
It's not something I have to do on this site so I decided not to because imo,it breaks the flow.And it just feels more natural and faster to write.I guess it could make the whole thing feel rushed and look sloppy,and to me it just feels like I'm padding the length if I do that.
202515 *chuckles*Nothing wrong with mixing up the formula right?Besides it's pretty much just coincidence that the MC has had the Fool as their arcana.Igor did say in P4 that anyone with a powerful ego can enter the Velvet room.
Not that I'm an expert on Persona by any means either.I've only played P3P.But let's plays are wonderful things.
Boom.family get togethers and storms making my connection more full of holes than Swiss cheese will not stop me from updating.
Hope you all enjoy.
And be honest here.Should I keep the little status updates at the end of each chapter?Like the level,skills,equipment,etc.etc.
It's just something I wanted to add in to make it feel more like the games,but if you all don't like it I can retcon and remove it.I just thought it would be a nice addition.
And before it starts,Yes I read Fallout Equestria.So don't be saying I stole the idea. I just wanted to try it out and see how it rolled.
Read,Rate,Review and Relax until the next update.
As usual I will plug my friend Pony Circuit by saying Go read their story A Duel of Jewels.
Spread the love.
Oh yes.And seeing as my laptop lacks any editing software,aside from basic MS paint.Could somepony maybe slap together some All out Attack images?
I have no idea what to offer in return but it would be appreciated.
I couldn't help but chuckle a little at "Scootaloo Casandra Darling"
-Glassed
Sorry this came out so much later than the others.
It's been a busy week. And the Mass Effect 3 Demo has been distracting me alot on xbox live.
And I kind of found this chapter difficult to write for some reason so yeah.
Hope you all enjoy,I'll try and get the nexty chapter out sooner rather than later.
If you wish to send me a message on xbox live (please tell me how you got my gamertag if you are from here,no I won't accept friend requests.) my gamertag is A wild Glaceon.
Hey again everypony.
I really wanted to get this chapter out earlier but I was waiting for somepony to send in some AoA pics. It made me a sad pony when I didn't get any...
Aside from the two in this chapter provided by my good friend Pony Circuit!
Drop a comment and let me know what you thought.I'm going to bed cause it's 3 am.I'll add in the battle and scene music when I'm more awake.
Edit: Odd...I know I clicked the publish button before I went to bed this morning...huh....in anycase it's published now.
Dang.
The piano music link got deleted from Youtube.
What is it with Youtube deleting all of the good songs?
...
Oh, I'm sorry. Good chapter.
I like the "all-out attack" split-screen pics you put in there.
Heh. This is turning into quite the story.
I'll favorite it.
It's a cool concept and I definately give you props for designing a new shadow world instead of using 3 or 4 like most. The ocs are throwing me off a bit though. I have no problem with ocs if done right but there just kind of showing up and your not explaining who they are. I'm sure for you and your rp buddies it makes sense but as a reader it really breaks the narrative flow
The little 'all out' cuts are a great touch and seeing you add Silver spoon to the madness is definately interesting. I notice her 'equipment' being faux necklace and fake glasses... interesting details could be hinting at stuff or I'm just looking to far into things
644238 I probably should have explained them a little better huh?
Here's a brief break down then.
Sunny: Rainbow Dash's daughter, is on the school's soccer team.
Dewey: Fluttershy's firstborn daughter, a skilled baker.
Icing: Pinkie Pie's adopted daughter, looks set to become a great nurse.
Sugar Cube: Twilight Sparkle and Rarity's adopted daughter, a real troublemaker when her adoptive parents aren't around
Probably just looking to far into it.
It's her equivalent to the normal clothing worn by new teammates in the Persona games.
Rereading this story. I was planning on doing so earlier, but the new chapter helps...
"Even if you two aren't going to help me I'm going to help them!" Sweetie yelled. "Bullies or not they're still ponies! And I'm going to use my power to help anypony in need, no matter who they are!"
This is how I would like to think if someone was in danger.
No matter how much I hate someone, if I just let them die when I know I could have at least tried to help them one way or another, I know that I probably would not be able to live with that in my mind...
Song was deleted...
871213 yeah.The guy I got them from had his account closed down.Kind of annoys me too,had so many more songs I wanted to get from him.
I'll have to go back and find more songs when my youtub can survive for five minutes without disconnecting my internet.
Boo me all you want for taking so long. It has not been a good month for me so I really have not been motivated to write much of anything.
And the few times I've have been it hasn't been for very long and I've been spitting out the trash that is Changing Perspective.
Anyway.Not much to say here.I powerleveled Bloom,Scoots and Spoon to catch up with Sweetie, set up what should be(if I can remember it later) A pretty important plot point.
Alright, that's it.Author comment is over.I'm going to go play either Pokemon Black 2, Persona 3 Portable or Minecraft xbox edition.Stop reading this and read the story already.
1066209
I totally understand.
Motivation comes and goes and there's really no way around it.
Speaking of which... *sigh*... I've got a couple stories of my own that I probably should get around to continuing soon, but I'm just not feeling it.
...
Great chapter by the way. I almost get the sense that I'm watching the events instead of just reading them.
1066209
Is it bad that I don't remember what Persona is?
So here it is. Hurrah!
(add me on xbox if you want. My Gamertag is SweetieBelleCmC)
Blame life,Mass Effect 3 multiplayer and Halo 4 for the delays.
Yes I know this chapter has more to do with other happenings than that of the crusaders,but what would a Persona crossover be without some universe expanding?
And don't worry. The other members of the mane 6 will get their time in the spotlight too.
As for why Shiny is in here... well divulging timelines and all that.
Also a way to set the scene for a one month absence that Twilight,Sweetie and Spike had to take (all of which were played by me) when my computer decided to crap out for a month. So hooray for filling rp plot holes!
Right...back to getting my last 10 matchmaking levels in Halo 4...
too bad is not like persona 4 where everyone see there dark side wean they find there ture self they become a batter pony
Good to see this again.
yaaay
Dat offense magic ability.
She shook her head and tignoredthese feelings
1. Ignored.
I can only imagine the shit storm that will come... eventually... hopefully the shadows won't emerge out in Ponyville like in P3... Also... All those shipping pairs!
I honestly felt like that when I found the massive ship between all of them.
Ugh. This whole chapter just feels terrible. I was so looking forward to this arc from the rp verse as well.
I wanted to focus alot more on the dynamic of the mane 6 aside from Rarity and Twilight, who are pretty well established as characters at this juncture, but then i thought. "this is supposed to be about the crusaders" So I figured I'd give them a bit of a heave ho and explain them away for the next 2 or 3 chapters while I focus on their friends and family.
So consider the next few chapters a "Meanwhile,back in the normal and clueless world..." as we explore what it is that holds Ponyville together while the Crusaders power level abit more.
And yes. Sweetie will be singing more Persona songs.
Anyway.It's 1 AM.I'm going to bed. Peace out everypony.
Wait... wait, wait, wait... who swapped bodies with who?
I kind of lost track there.
So first up is Spike,as we learn a little more about the OC's of Ponyville Namely Baron Ludwig Gears von Fenix(currently swapped with Applejack) and Display My Name, aka Dizzy.(currently swapped with Rainbow Dash)
I'm pleased with this chapter for some reason. It just feels...good when I read it back to myself.
Anyway. Feedback is appreciated as always.
And yes. I did grab a new separator image just for this chapter.
1632729
Bodyswap arcs are meant to be confusing.
Why must you play all those seriously addicting games?
Now every time I see this particular fic in my favorites update, I hear this song in my head:
I hear you, though.
Holidays are basically time stoppers for anything I do.
Persona crossover?! Holy shit I have been blessed. First Max Payne and now Persona? Lovin it!
1648273
And language is meant to convey confusion in a understandable way.
At least you're making more headway than I usually do when it comes to writing multi-chapter stories.
...
Dead Space 3, huh?
Fun times... fun times... *nod*.
sky scrapers towered hundreds of hands above her
we got stuck in eachothers body
1. Err... what?
2. Forgot your spacing.
From your A/N, I can assume you have a UTC+ 11 timeline from where I am I presume? Which would be... Australia. I also just wonder how Sweetie will explain the adventures she's gone through with her friends fighting shadows
2244284 Hands is the measurement system used for the height of Equines,so I figured they'd use the same measurement system,even if they aren't sure what a hand is.
2:30 am, it was a struggle to spell 'and' at that point. I'll go fix that now.
And you are right,Australia.
Think about it though...the crusaders wouldn't really have to explain anything.They could just say that any injuries they got are from Crusading they did. Though that doesn't apply to SS and DT.
Yay, P3 reference!
and waited tersely
angling her body so she has perpendicular to the ground
The maybe she got strong enough
1. Should be tensely since tersely means concise/to the point.
2. Was.
3. Then.
I now pronounce you mare and wife. You may kiss the bride.
But I am intrigued. 
...
Wait... is Nightmare becoming a pseudo-Nightmare Moon now? Is that what being whole means? I really don't know.
...
You've got four or five potential speakers here. Mind letting the readers know who's saying what?
I have never played or really seen the Persona games before. I'd heard the name but had no idea what it was about.
That said, I can still understand what's going on here. That is a brilliant thing, meaning non-Persona fans can still enjoy your story. Well done!
Brilliant story, can't wait for more.
I didn't think fictional children could make me feel so old.
Heh. 
Eh. 
It seems like it was just yesterday that I was rewatching an episode that had filly Twilight.
Now I'm seeing four kids of five of the main 6.
Somehow, it's making me feel old. Heh.
2529041
I was just thinking to myself "4 of 5? but...oh right, Dash is pregnant with her second."
But there's actually 6, Fluttershy had another foal around the time this story is set who isn't old enough to be mentioned in the story...yet.
Welll um
as she followed suite
pictures appeared on scree
1. Well.
2. Suit.
3. Screen.
Looks like you did
I feel your pain. *nods in an affirmation of understanding*
One step at a time. Sometimes all you have to do is appreciate the accomplishments you've made so far. Good work.
I don't play Persona, but I'm interested.
If by "separator image" you mean the photobucket image that says, "Look who's popular," then yes I do see it.
...
Additionally, what happened to Icing after Applebloom finished beating her up? Did they all just leave her there?