It's been about 3 weeks since Trixie had come to Ponyville, and even after all that time, something is still wrong with Twilight, and nopony can figure out what. When Luna comes to Ponyville to visit, everything goes totally wrong...
On hiatus for inspiration. Check out my other story in the meantime, while I have brain farts. WARNING: If you do, minor clop ensues.
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The Long description doesn't need to be something you could have put in the Author's note, in fact that may cause potential readers to hit the back button, dood
The story itself is alright, I guess. I think I know what you are implying with the story but it feels rushed in a way I can't explain it, dood. But I'm no expert on the English grammar stuffs so...maybe ask a proof-reader to look at it, dood?
This sentence has two errors in them both very minor, and probably were overlooked when you passed them by as you typed it out, dood.
Maybe changing it so that each speaker has it's own line of dialogue instead of having nine ponies speak in the same paragraph? But that's just me, dood.
It's still a neat story premise and I hope you keep it going, dood.
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Thanks for the feedback, and I guess you're right about the description thing. I'll go back and fix that typo, as well. And I do indeed plan on continuing to write this.
EDIT: re-read the document, and those typo's were in there, I guess I just missed it proofreading.
2456852 Just like everything in life, it's all trial and error. The more you push at it, the better you will get, dood.
I'll keep an eye on this.
Thanks to everyone who's already expressed that they liked this story, either through comments or by favoriting it. It means a lot to me that people think I write a good story, and I shall continue this story. Chapter 2 is already in the works, and I hope everypony likes it just as much as Chapter 1 :D
if you dont put the next chapter up soon, i will die
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As I said, it's currently in the works, and as I am typing this, a few ideas are spinning through my mind. However, it shall take a little time to put together. I don't want to rush it out, but I also do not want people to think I forgot, so at the same time that I set no official time frame for new additions, I shall put them up as soon as I believe they are ready. By that, I mean when I feel inspired enough to write, I will probably write the entire chapter in 2-3 days and post it as soon as it is done. I keep it stored on my computer so even without internet I may work on it, whenever inspiration hits.
Thank you for your words, however. ^-^ just wait patiently, I'll put it up ASAP. 
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Thank you very much, I hope I do not disappoint with my story.
Erm, "read the short description" is not really an acceptable long description. Sections of the site show one or the other, not both, and the easiest one to actually find is the long description displayed on the story's actual page. If you feel the short description says enough, copy and paste it into the long description.
2458190
o ok thx
I am guessing that this was Twilight's mind that got separated from her body? This chapter confused me.
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Yes, it was. I thought it was perfectly clear. I mentioned it in Chapter 1 as well, but since I took Twilight's perspective of the timeframe there, I was allowed to be more direct about it.
sorry for the kinda short chapter, i kept trying to make it longer, but i realized that if i kept pushing at it, it would get boring and asinine by the time i got it up to the other two. ~2500 words each, and this one barely breaks 2000. So, i give you, Chapter 3. as soon as i publish it.
WOW!
So Twilight doesn't remember anypony but Trixie.
I know Spike isn't going to take that very well. I also know Luna must be feeling extremely guilty.
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I thought it might be a bit much, but I did plan on this being a sad story. What's sadder than losing the memory of all your adventures? All the friendships you had? The only reason she remembers Trixie is because their love pulled a part of her across to be with Twilight while her mind was lost in space. That was all she remembered. ;) I tried my best to make it look good, I hope you liked it. I hope everypony liked it.
P.S. Was the chapter title appropriate enough?
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I would say so. BTW, did Trixie get healed before going to the train station? I read Twilight wanted to go straight home, and what just wondering Trixie's condition when the others said her and Twilight.
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Nope. She still had all the burns, which I neglected to mention as the other part of the reason they took her at face value. Sorry about that.
To any who might've been concerned, I have fixed the chopped paragraphs at the beginning of Chapter 3! I thought I had already done that, but it appeared I had not finished it before posting it. Thank you again, if you read through the chopped up mess, but for clarity and continuity, re-read it if you were confused on anything.
Anyone with any ideas for a particular part of the story may approach me with such, I'd be interested, no, intrigued, to know what direction everypony thinks it should go. I have a general idea, but maybe I could use some of those suggestions to speed up my posting. As I did in Chapter 3, with the eyes, I'll give credit where due for any ideas I get from you guys.
As the end of Chapter 4 drew near, I googled Twixie images again, looking for a new background. Instead, I found this. I hope this picture is more explained by their actions throughout the story, especially chapter four.
I felt terrible about Spike, but stayed true to character with the way I imagined Twilight would react when confronted with this situation.
Dirty move on Trixie's part to make Twilight forget her faithful assistant, dood.
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Alright, "dood," if you're going to ask a question like that, re-read the entire fic. I never said Trixie made her do anything. In fact, I hinted that Trixie would probably be the key to her eventual recovery. So, no, not a jerk move.
2467326 I'm sorry, dood. but...
That line rubbed me in a way that made me think "Trixie is being possessive of Twilight", I still like the story, dood. but I didn't mean it to sound all rude, and to clarify...that wasn't a question, that was just me typing what I thought about Trixie's sudden decision to send Spike away just because she wanted to be alone with Twilight, dood.
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I thought it was a little much, but couldn't think of a better way to write it. Anyway, it leaves open the return of the "Great and Powerful Trixie" at some point. I hope you ain't too mad about what I thought you were making out there.
Ummm....pretty sure twilight's eyes are violet, just saying.
2467383 It's cool, dood.
Hmm i enjoy this story so far even tho it feels like trixie is taking advantage of twilight's memory loss.
Any way i'm looking forward to the next chapter keep it up.
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Not trying to be demeaning, but if you have read the whole thing, I explained why her eyes were brown, and credited the idea accordingly. She's still struggling to recover her magic. That's one of the basic points of the plot that make everything possible.
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I guess it could be looked at in that way, though I don't think that's the way I looked at it. I thought it was a little cute possessiveness. Still, to each their own. I hope you continue to enjoy the story as it develops.
Wow. Twilight in a coma
, Trixie loves her 
(though it was kinda obvious. Play the Ursa episode again and make it real slow when Trixie and Twilight are in the same shot. Pay attention to Trixie's eyes, I swear she checks out Twi's flank a couple times. 
) and Twilight oblivious to the obvious.... again! 
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A rather accurate, if slim, assessment of the plot of the first few chapters. Maybe up to 4. I don't think Chapter 5 influenced this at all. ;) thank you for showing such interest.
DAMN IT TWILIGHT!
*sigh* calm down... don't let the animal out...
Anyway... Twilight, why haven't you read a book about this or sumthin'? You do live in a buckin' library.
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Haha, indeed. I suppose the main reason she hasn't read any books on "that," would be because she only takes books she finds interesting to her at that moment in time. i.e. the first book her hooves grace. :P
I always hated Cadence's full name. It just makes me feel, I dunno...
2473020
Meh, I dont really like it either, just gave it a touch of officiality.
Wait a minute...
)
YOU'RE REPLYING TO ME!
Anyway, why would AJ act like that to Twilight, and say Trixie, then be a complete B!tch to Fluttershy? Does she want to feel the butcher? (Strange reference
2473117
Misplaced anger and doubt. AJ is doubting the strength and power of friendship when she sees the state Twi got reduced to. Anger because she believes Trixie had something to do with it.
I might resolve that later.
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Also, I replied to just about every comment on the story. :P
I had convinced myself that I could easily write 2000 a pop, but it aint coming easily at all anymore, so i'm dropping that. I'll still put a good amount into each chapter, but I won't taffy out my brain to give those excessively long shots. sorry for those of you that liked it that way. I thought I could do it, and I figure now that I need to hold off on that.
It came easily till about Chapter 3, and got really hard in Chapters 4 and 5. I feel that, atleast in Chapter 6, less is sufficient to get the word across.
Verry cute, but maybe not blast Shining Armour out of the room next time? A gentle levitation would have had the same effect.
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You seem to be looking at it from the wrong point of view. Imagine your sitting next to the love of your life in the hospital, like they were, and someone walks in that pissed them off three times in a row. I don't know about you, but that would be something similar to what I would do. just super saiyan up in here, but look at everything I'm relating through the story. ~shrug~
If anyone here thinks they can grammar nazi this, I would appreciate having a couple proofreaders. Also, if anyone wants to sign up as a judge of content, make sure this doesnt go too far AU (I.E. the fact that Cadance and Shining Armor are already in the Crystal Empire, which doesnt follow the timeline of canon.) It isnt meant to be AU, so I'd appreciate it if someone helped me stay somewhat on track.
i thought it was funny when twilight threw pinkie pie out of the window
when will there be more?????
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I'm trying to keep it up to atleast 1 chapter in 2 days, but I keep having a "How do I plot" moment, where the plot I'm trying to work with disappears every so often. I salvage my work at that point until it comes back to me. Atleast one of these chapters was finished in that state. :|
Chapter 7 is deep in the works, and will probably come out today. Here's hoping ^-^
meh. ive decided that i want to start interspersing another story inbetween updates on this one. look for my Twiluna fic starting up soon. Don't worry, I'm not completely abandoning this one, just dont expect daily/every other day updates, as i go back and forth between the two. Twiluna probably won't outlive this one, whatever way I try to write it. Sorry, like Twixie better than Twiluna, but unless everypony stops reading this, I see it projecting longer than I can cope doing one thing at a time. ADHD sucks, but is a master that must be appeased. so. there's that. I'll probably scale back to once or twice a week on both, but its better than losing all interest in the writing.
^-^ sorry if this curbs someponies enthusiasm for my story. and don't ask me why i keep going with twi pairings. 
i'll probably drift into other areas when i finish one of these stories. 
thanks much to my efforts, i am developing a new writing style that is debuting in the next chapter. i'd like to thank drynwhyl for his exceptional advice in that area :D
i thought it was funny when twilight threw pinkie pie out of the window
if your ever in need of ideas, just ask me :) im really good with coming u with plots and i love helping others
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thanks for the offer, i'll remember it if i need it.
I have 89 other stories to read and I choose yours...... Totally worth it
I love this story the others can wait.