The son of the tyrant king King Sombra has returned and with the help of the Great and Powerful Trixie.He wants to bring his father back and is willing to anything to do it.Takes place after season 3 premire episodes so takes place after season 3 episode 2.Open for OC if you want your's in here just send me a comment on me profile.
I do the best I can with the accents working on Applejack's.
"I just need to take these apples back to SugarCube Coner..." Corner.
"...he very thing she said, it's hard..." I think that should either be a semicolon or a period.
"...with an exprestion..." Expression.
"...start an agruement about wheather..." Argument, whether.
"...it looks immpontant." Important.
"...you and your friend..." Friends.
"Princess Celestia, we'er here what..." Princess Celestia, we're here! What..."
"He tried to turn my into a mindless slave..." Me.
"Trixie you idoit." Idiot.
"...others in the state your in..." You're.
"...at the disenbodied voice..." Disembodied.
"...to let my spirt to slip through." ...to let my spirit slip through.
"...his voice echioed..." Echoed.
"...in my vains." Veins.
""Oh my." Fluttershy stated..." "Oh my," Fluttershy stated...
"...stated to the spirt." Spirit.
"...Prince Celestia." Princess.
""To late Sparkle." Trixie stated..." "Too late Sparkle," Trixie stated..."
"...dark magic shacking the very castle..." Shocking.
"beneath my hooves." Dark Bane stated..." ...beneath my hooves," Dark Bane stated...
This is a good idea for a story.
2477217 Thanks for pointing out every error
2483753
No problem!
Keep up the good work, I like the plot!
2483921 I thought he needed something
Ooo can't wait to read this!
about AJ's accent, just replace any I with ah
E.G.
instead of "i am the element of honesty"
do "ah am the element of honesty"
make sense?
put it in italics perhaps?
2477217......holy shit...
when I read ''Eclipse stated as green flames appeared around her and then flow at her wound, surring it shut.'' they all have a heart that mean the crystal made by dark bane does have chore to choose what side they want to fight by.
can believe haven't brought the human dead back to like to make his prefect army some human will do any thing to live forever.
Pretty cool.
5503958 Thanks
5523342 you are welcome.
Interesting chapter.
6370016 thank you
6373565 You're welcome
Dark Bane ?? from Star Wars ??
img1.starwars-holonet.com/holonet/dictionnaire/photos/perso_dark_bane.jpg
7751623 No that's just the name I gave him and the Siths go with Darth with their titles.