Apr
24th
2024
Luna Fights a Vending Machine - A story about how Luna conquered her enemy by ulcuran (Random Recommendations in <50 new words #2) · 3:27pm April 24th
Overall. Ancient, introverted angst struggles in vain to defeat a modern enemy.
Best lines:
She slowed down when passing by the box of foul magic, and kept her eyes on it the whole time, she wouldn’t show weakness to it. The machine responded in kind[...]
It was mocking her.
‘’Thou requires these to keep on surviving no?’’ She jingled the bits in front of the machine[...]
Diplomacy was for the weak
Why read? Vivid description; emotional tension; humorous pay-offs throughout; interesting concepts.
Flaws. Sentences sometimes overlong.
Meta: Skim-read? ✔ Full-read? TBC Recommend Author? TBC
Special. Stomach noises are weird!
Final thought. As usual, the real villain is Celestia.
Hmm, that isn't usually to my taste, as a Celestia fan, and the incorrect grammar of "Thou requires" grates a bit, but I'll still bear this in mind.
Btw, linking to the story text directly is decidedly non-standard for a reviewer -- I think almost everyone would expect a link to this page. I certainly would. Deliberate choice on your part?
5778060
Thanks for reminding me about that! Still getting used to FiM with the story page and then the chapter - have edited the link.
And yep, there were a couple of writing issues in that fic - hadn't even noticed that "Thou requires" in my skimmingness, even though I copied the line :P but for me, more than the grammar, the efficiency of language was what was dragging it down in places - I even had to clip those favourite lines with ellipsi, ellipsises, ellephants - the dot thingies. Despite that, I am happy to recommend, for the reasons above, although ofc different ponies for different courses :P I do like this kind of angsty, introverted humour.