This story is a sequel to Pegasus Device
Did she have to hurt her foes? She looked back to the valve.
She really wanted to fly.
She really, really wanted to fly.
Absentia spent twenty years chained up in the bowels of the cursed Rainbow Factory. For twenty years, she never saw the outside world, left to the mercy of the Factory. But when two foals free her from the clutches of the Pegasus Device, she remembers what it means to fly. As she helps her new friends escape the facility, she has to make a choice.
She chooses to fly.
Edited by Stinium_Ruide, preread by applejackofalltrades, Faded Echoes, and Madhatterbrony.
Cover art by the talented applejackofalltrades! Title text by yours truly!
An entry to the Thousand Words Contest.
Chapters (1)
The introspective observations portrayed of her perspective builds the strength of her conviction and hence determination to do what she was forbidden to. The story also draws attention to how, without a soul, one is unable to have the fortitude to derive meaning beyond what they yearn to do. Being soulless, the cost of death appears to be meaningless if the reward was living with a purpose.
The cost of death means even less if one desperately wishes to defy the label stuck on them, just because they failed a test. But this is true for less extreme cases. The propensity to sacrifice something of themselves is greater if they want to defy the norms and the label they "represent".
The pain of betrayal stings true in the backdrop. Of everything, the "sister" standing in her way prevents her from having lived with a purpose, a satisfaction or attaining an ultimate goal. Snitching these memories together, and remembering the pain, she knows. The duality and contrast of her memories juxtaposes her actions in either way.
Sharply written. Well done, Sunlight.
I love how this takes one of my favorite parts about the original Pegasus Device and gives an internal dialogue to Absentia. I always felt impacted by the scene where she sacrificed herself to save the main ponies, and it’s nice to see that Absentia has a reason to do so.
The entire scene where she monologues to herself as she’s falling works exceptionally well. I love that you can see how much this means to her after years of not flying. And then comes the ending, ouch, that hit me really hard.
I suppose if I had a complaint about this story, it doesn’t really make sense for those who haven’t read Pegasus Device, and with this not being by the original author, then I’m sure there will be people who haven’t read it. Other than that, this is an enjoyable story.
Howdy, hi~!
This was a solid thousand words entry. Really hit all the right emotional moments in a short amount of time. Absolutely tragic in conclusion, but an excellent execution that hits all the right notes.
Thank you very much for the read~!
The risk with sequels in this contest is conveying all that earlier context in just a thousand words. You definitely managed here, though I am familiar with the original Rainbow Factory. Still, effective portrayal of just where these poor, pitiable ponies (and Dr. Atmosphere) have ended up.
That being said, that initial context is kind of necessary to understand why Dash wanted to kill her little sister, how Scootaloo failed all of pegasus-kind, so on and so forth. Otherwise the reader's diving headfirst into an almost unrecognizable alternate universe. Thematically on point, but not the best reading experience.
Still, very effective work. Thank you for it and best of luck in the judging.
so Scootaloo and so true
and augh, this must have hurt Scootaloo all the more
and yes, the contrast between these feelings in Rainbow that would have been such a beautiful thing were it not for everything else that has happened. that genuine bond of sisterhood needs to be there for how little it means now to be impactful
and oof, a lovely angsty mental image! Scootaloo taking back her agency in the only way she can, as well as taking this last chance to give meaning to her lifelong sense of loss about her inability to fly, what a powerful moment!
Oof 👍