Twilight Sparkle is overworked and plagued with guilt over the fate of 'the mean three'. Meanwhile, Starlight Glimmer grapples with feelings that bubble to the surface at inopportune moments as well as a daunting new job, and Spike once again attempts to get closer to the mare of his dreams. Set some time after 'The Last Problem'.
Here's a better idea! Why not make someone Twilight loves a princess? Like someone she would love to spend an eternity with? Usually when a princess marries another, they become Queen or empress, that would be an interesting story.
Anyways this story is interesting, I hope to see more.
Wrong, Gallus, its Twilight’s conscience is making her doubt her actions which is odd given how many years it finally reach Twilight.
Don’t say that garbage, Spike! You’re only saying that to protect the traitor who was the mastermind who brought them together and planned to used them as Twilight’s stepping stones to the throne.
No... its like... Family Guy’s earlier seasons, TV14
11870651
Gotcha. Thanks. And thanks for reading too!
Good, otherwise this story would have been rated mature.
I think the rating should stay at Teen but maybe add a sex tag for suggestiveness.
11870844
OK, thanks!
Lovely writing!!! Can't wait to see where this goes <3
11873708
Thank you, you're very kind.
This is the first story I have read on this site where Twilight now patrols the dream realm, I'm a little surprised. I'm more surprised others haven't thought of the idea.
I mean she litterly takes the jobs of both Celestia and Luna now, it only makes sense she goes to the dream realm and stops nightmares from happening.
11867921 true I hope cozy glow will get reformed in this story maybe at the end of it i love it when cozy gets reformed and I agree with you both spike just don't want twilight to help them and gallus don't want twilight to get hurt but her not helping them is hurting her but good story so far
nice job on all chapters out
11884387
Thank you very much!
Spike having a mental conversation with himself? Hilarious.
11885314
Lol, thanks. I was pretty pleased with that bit.
No offense but I think the redemption will failed. I mean how many years have the Legion has been in stone? I mean Discord did say that he heard everything when he was petrified. Besides I mean they might heard about Twilight was going to reform them as some of the guards will take about how they deserved being turned to stone despite it was Discord who masterminded everything and yet, he gets away scot-free
11885837
None taken. Well, we'll see. I'd be lying if I said I had everything planned out, I'm sure what happens will be as much of a surprise to me as to everyone else. Though I think it's less about the redemption, and more about the chance, something that Tirek and Cozy Glow at least, never got. Remember, Cozy Glow was thrown in Tartarus the second she was found out, small wonder she came back for a second try. And is what she did (attempt to remove magic from the world) really that different from what Starlight tried to do the first time around? Except on a larger scale? If Starlight can achieve redemption, why not Cozy Glow? In any case, it won't be an easy path. (And as to the Discord being able to hear and see everything while he was petrified thing, that may just be because he has literally god-like powers. We don't know that it's the same for everycreature else. Yet.)
Anyhoo, thanks for reading this far!
11886055
I want to agree on that but since Discord did help out in turning those 3 to stone, he might made them head everything other say around them as revenge for stealing his magic and putting Fluttershy in a cell.
nice work
Mhmmm, sure.
Finally she realizes, honestly I never seen someone so blind of there own feelings.
I am curious how powerful Twilight is at this point in time, probably more powerful than Celestia and Luna combined, if not then atleast more powerful than Celestia.
I don't see the big deal, my only concern however is that since Spike is a dragon, that means he lives for hundreds or thousands of years so he will outlive Rarity just like how Discord will outlive Fluttershy and Cadance outliving Shining Armor.
What is up with mortals dating immortals or longer living creatures than them? Seriously, there all gonna end up heartbroken in the end.
He probably already knows everything that's going to happen and probably doesn't want any part of it or knows it's to important for him to get involved with.
When I read this, my thoughts immediately went to Queen Chrysalis although she is in stone, but I still have a quastion on why her horn is glowing a different color.
This coming from Rainbow Dash? I would expect that to come from Pinkie Pie or Fluttershy but RAINBOW DASH!?
I doubt Twilight has, if she has then I wonder who she was dreaming about cause my only guess would be Flash Sentry but I really hope not.
Uuuuuugh, please don't tell me I'm gonna have to sit around for 30 minutes reading how AppleJack's and Rainbow's love life has been going.
If I am, I'm just gonna lay down and just listen to the story than read it, wouldn't be the first time I did that, it would actually be the second time I did that throughout the 1,000+ stories I Finnished reading.
I'll be waiting for the next chapter.
11908848
Thanks for reading. Whoo, there's a lot to unpack there. Let me say first off that this chapter was a pain to write, and I kinda rushed the tail end of it because I just wanted the damn thing to be done.
Twilight: I'd say she is at least comparable to Celestia in terms of power at this point in time.
Rarity: It's not so much that her and Spike are a big deal, she just hasn't quite finished sorting out her feelings on the matter, and besides, she's trying to delay the inevitable ribbing she'll get from the others.
Rainbow Dash: Ah come on, it's not unheard of for Dashie to be slow on the uptake.
Twilight's horn: Yeah, you're right on this one. I wanted different spells to be more distinctive, but now I'm reading it back it doesn't make much sense, and leads the reader in a false direction. I'll go change that bit.
Applejack: It's not going to be how their love life is going, just how it started, something that irritatingly we never got from the show OR the comics. If that's not your bag feel free to skip it. Hopefully it'll be shorter than this chapter.
Anyhoo, thanks again for sticking with this fic this far.
11908876
No problem, tbh I'm more interested on Twilight and Starlight Glimmer and what there going to be doing.
And I don't like skipping parts of chapters (that's why I usually skip entire chapters and then go back to reading it eventually) because that it doesn't count as me finishing the story.
Every story I added in my completed libary, I've read every single word from start to finish throughout the entire story, not a word skipped and I like to keep it that way so I can say "I completed all these stories from start to finish" without lying and me being proud of myself, although I read 50,000+ words a day.
I'm hoping to reach 10,000,000 total words read soon, haven't checked in a while but I believe it's a little over 9,400,000, I'm also hoping in the future I can reach a total of 70,000+ words read a day, that might take a year or 2. (Or it will probably never happen, I'm starting to run out of interesting things to read and it's only been 6 months since I first discovered this site, not surprising though since I did read over 1000 stories)
Aaaand I just realized I've been blabbering.
Yeah that makes sense Twilight didn’t want Discord to help because his last help nearly got Equestria destroyed for trying to boost Twilight’s confidence. Her trust is Discord isn’t strong because of his actions. Tell one thing though, has Twilight ever venture to Tirek’s homeland?
11909252
No, I don't think Twilight has. I confess, outside of what's in the show I'm not too familiar with Tirek's backstory. I'm trying to get ahold of 'Fiendship is Magic', but it's so damn expensive.
11909703
Here. Let me help you with that.
11909730
Holy-moley. You're a legend, thanks so much!
11909959
You’re welcome. I’m grateful that YouTube didn’t force the one who uploaded those comics to remove them. Like I’m hoping they didn’t remove all the Archie Sonic Comics.
nice work
This is the first time I left a chapter unread for nearly 2 days.
11916805
Ouch.
11916821
Don't take it too personally, the only Romance bits I like is with it involving Twilight, and the chapter was all about Rainbow Dash and AppleJack, if you actually notice, more than 80-90% of the stories I completed involves Twilight.
Though it was still a great chapter!
11916828
Lol, no worries, I know this chapter wasn't really your thing. Hopefully next chapter I'll stop meandering and start moving the plot forwards (such as it is).
Oh, wow! I almost feel like I should apologize for letting this story slide to this point. I consider it quite good, but not without some faults that I picked up while reading:
Chapter one:
Spike sighed and paced to the window. His own brooding reflection greeted him.
I find it curious and amusing how, every time the topic of reforming the Legion of Doom comes up, the authors have to dance arround the small detail that, if it weren't for Discord, none of them would have been much of a problem to begin with, because, Otherwise, they would have to go on a tangent that would derail the story.
Chapter 2
when he saw her in Yakyakistan, if he saw her,
The Draconequus mostly limited himself to fawning over
Last time I checked, Yakyakistan and the Dragon's lands are territories that are literally on opposite sides of the map.
Chapter 3
He wasn’t a bad flyer, but he reckoned that Rainbow Dash herself would have difficulty in this condition/weather/clime.
Chapter 4
Rarity in particular, yes... but the way he talks, it seems like he's referring to Unicorns in general, and in that case the answer is a resounding 'No'.
This should be an it or a mine, since it is referring to a place, not her person.
Chapter 5
Let me see if I get this right... Twilight entered Starlight's dreams unannounced, against Starlight's wishes she demanded that they must talk about something that should not be of her concern, and not many hours later does she gossip about what she saw with her other friends? Why do I feel like if Luna found out about this, she would scold Twilight with all the force of the Canterlot Royal Voice? Because what Twilight has done is a disgusting demonstration of abuse of power and trust, unworthy of the supposed Princess of Friendship.
fillies? This are grown up mares.
Chapter 6
The Pegaus’ brow was furrowed, and her lips turned up in a near snarl of concentration.
The Pegasus’ brow was furrowed, and her lips turned up in a near snarl of concentration.
Repetition de by this.
ruffling the spikes of Rainbow's mane.
As a constructive criticism I was going to recommend cutting the larger paragraphs into smaller paragraphs, but it seems that you became aware of this, since the huge walls of text in the first chapters became less prominent in the last ones.
11919098
Thanks for the advice! I swear, you write the thing, you proof read it twice, and the damn thing's still full of typos. I've gone in and corrected most of them, there's a few I've left as is because I think it's just my style. For example:
Rarity saying 'This is me' is something of a British turn of phrase, I think. It's the kind of thing we say to friends when we've reached our stop on the train.
With the girls being referred to as 'fillies', I've seen quite a few authors use the terms 'mare' and 'filly' pretty interchangeably, as in filly-friend, silly-filly, etc. In much the same way as 'girl' and 'woman' are in our culture. I try to not get too repetitive with my terminology, so 'filly' was just a stand in for 'mare' here.
With the Dragon Lands and Yakyakistan being on opposite sides of the map...yeah. I've only just got my hands on a decent map of Equestria. There was a story in the comics I think, where the Dragons and the Yaks almost went to war, and that made it seem like they were relatively close, so I just ran with it. There isn't a whole lot I can do about it now.
As for the Twilight's behaviour thing, I don't see it as being as reprehensible as you do. She witnessed what she witnessed accidentally, and later when talking to her friends she had intended to keep their names out of it, citing their situation as an example only. She did genuinely feel bad when Rarity extrapolated the truth. I will say though, if you didn't like what I did for this part, you're gonna HATE some of the ideas I've had for later chapters.
Anyway, thanks so much for your advice and for reading! I hope, despite its problems, you enjoyed it.
11919171
I'm not British, so I didn't know that was a way of speaking. Now I know.
With the 'fillies' thing, I saw it as a 50/50 shot as to whether it was a real mistake or something intentional, similar to what you say. I thought it prudent to mention it in case it came out being the first.
I recently discovered that it takes a lot, and I mean A LOT, for me to hate a story or a moment in a story when I think a character is acting questionably or OOC, so, don't think too much of that rant of mine.
Keep doing what you're doing, I'm really enjoying it.