After Rainbow Dash was busy bragging about her new and exotic marefriend Spitfire put in motion a bad plan to show her up at the Wonderbolts event later. Despite deciding not to go through with her admittedly childish plan, Minuette is not so easily dissuaded from the plan. Even if she didn't know about it.
Two small things
Jacket*
Phooey*
All that I really enjoyed this. It was really short and cute, and I'll be following this to see where it goes.
Also: compunction. New word. I like it.
10467460
Fooey is also an acceptable spelling of phooey (though less common.) So fooey (phooey) on you! :D
10467578
D:
:D
You definitely know how to keep me interested. But sure what that last line was about and I definitely want to know
10494613
Muhahaha! Well you'll still have to wait until tomorrow! :D
Оооо... Их отношение друг к другу выглядит забавным)
Извините, но я пишу русском. Надеюсь это не принесёт много хлопот
10496947
перевод из гугла
Very cute little story. Odd couple are always real fun to read.
Thought the story would have longer 🤔
But still really good
Adorable story I loved it
There are a few too many spelling things for me to really enjoy this story. Which is a shame, because other than that it's a really interesting pairing.
oh my gosh your word counts.
You may need some help.
Or maybe I do.
11002631
Hehe, I just started doing it because I found it funny. If you look back at earlier stuff (and a few other things here and there) I don't do it all the time.
Matching dresses?
Or Complimentary dresses?
Matching implies they'll be wearing the same thing. Like a uniform.
Complimentary means they look like a set, but they're each individual pieces.
though I suppose Minuette might not know that.
this was cute and I want more.
not enough Spitfire romance, honestly...
Though I would recommend re-reading your last two chapters, at least.
many many mistakes (Typos, autocorrect errors, etc) Easily found with a read through.
too many to list.
11005350
Never! New stories must be forged ahead with! Never look back, never surrender!
11005354
waaaaaiiiiitttt a minute.....
if your avatar is Flitter.....
suspicious
Quite adorable. Nice cute fic for some good feels. And I will reiterate the mistakes, but it seems fixing them has sailed.
I enjoyed it!
11019731
Well as much as you "reiterate" you didn't say any. :D
11019734
Meant what you said to sk1lls, but there are no mistakes, just happy acididents.
Nice story thus far Jhoira! Thank you! I have a few things to note before trudging along.
I really enjoy Minuette's little antics and her innocent (Or maybe, faux-innocent?) behavior de-stoning Spitfire's cold behavior, good job there!
A bit odd how Spitfire thinks the best way to find somepony is through a cafe. Don't you normally meet people first AND then do the cafe?
The focus on her career she hadn't really had a serious relationship
And probably bribe them with tickets or something. Then tomorrow was to put at least some effort into finding a possible life partner.
Aaah, I guess I can see the problem then. Good characterization!
Of all of the languages, Minuette here chose to speak the truth.
Snort
Grammatical errors
She blinked as the pungent drink [wafting] up at her (Wafted)
Spitfire chuckled to herself at that thought, perhaps she was giving herself [to] much credit. (Too)
"Oh! Is your friend's friend is [Rianbow] Dash?" (Rainbow)
Ha! Jhoira I gotta say, although this relationship is not the "cutest" of them all, I am having one hell of a laugh with these two! Nice work!
Found a fitting song for this chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zo_tGzIhWR0&list=PLC2JRJDXgYZBGi8ZPivERDM5sZndIiUB4
Hmm! It's nice to see that Spitfire still includes part of her personal trainer analysis off work. I find it both funny and endearing that she's analyzing her this way
Holy SMOKES. Someone get Spitfire some platsul for this 2nd-degree burn!
Grammar
I'd just skip it myself. Waste of [resourced]."
I mean I couldn't leave our brave Wonderbolt commander without a pretty [mar] to impress all her work friends could I???"
[Mnuette] giggled and shook her head
Minuette [gigged] again and Spitfire rolled her eyes.
The GALL on this woman
Oh goodness me!
Wholesome 100%
Not your most adorable fic Jhoira, but definitely the one that got the most laughs out of me thus far! I really liked it!
Grammar
Gave?
I thoroughly enjoyed this one, Jhoira. I was afraid at first this might veer into Manic Pixie Dream Girl territory, but you kept it fun and light while making both characters real. I shouldn't doubt your skill there.
11074756
You shouldn't. *Makes I'm watching you fingers at.*
11074708
That's where you're mistaken. All of my fics are my most adorable fics. :D
Nice bit of fluff.
Awww this was sweet.
Ooo I love how Minuette just completely blitzkrieged Spitfires defense and had her backpedaling the whole chapter, that was brilliant!
Jhoira would have to disagree with the astute Falk and say this is a very cute couple, plus I actually want to see Spitfire in a dress.
Way to build this up and rip the rug from underneath me with a "I'm sorry" line.
You had me going there at the end of that last chapter but way to pull it around and give us that happy ending. Your odd pairings definitely lead to addicting stories.