“Hey, Radish, there you are,” said Shoofly, finding Radish trotting off the training field.
“What’s up, Shoofly?”
“There’s something you… uh… well, see, I heard this rumor…”
“I think I can guess what it is.”
“Oh. I guess you’ve probably heard it a lot by now.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, I just wanted you to know. We all just… you know, we’d all support you if you did it. Or if you didn’t do it. Either way.”
“Thanks. I appreciate that.”
“Would you ever actually do it?”
“I just don’t know.”
“Would you actually do it?” Hazy Shade asked Light Fantastic.
“I just don’t know, Hazy Shade.”
Light sat back in a booth at Bold Roast’s, holding a pint of mead in her hooves. It was warm now.
“I don’t want to tell you how to live your life,” said Hazy Shade, “but ever since you started seeing Radish, you’ve seemed, you know, happier.”
“Really? It’s noticeable?”
“It’s a bunch of little things. You used to get so pissed off whenever Splash Page started giving his takes on comic book stuff. Now you just sort of shrug and let it go.”
“I mean, he’s always going to be wrong, so why bother getting worked up?”
“And Underglaze has a huge exhibition coming up. Before, you’d be all grumpy that he’s getting so much attention for his cube things. I haven’t heard you complain once.”
“Well, there are worse things in Canterlot than Underglaze’s cubes. I still don’t get the appeal. Are you saying dating Radish has chilled me out?”
“I think so.”
“Is that such a good thing? Happy ponies make for boring artists.”
“Then you think marrying him would make you happy?”
“Well, yeah. I mean, why wouldn’t it?”
“Then you want to.”
Light Fantastic fidgeted with the glass of mead in her hooves. She looked at the café’s lights reflecting in its surface, staring at them until they taxed her retinas and she closed her eyes, seeing the red and blue afterimages in the darkness.
“I want to, Hazy.”
“Wow. That’s huge.”
“But there’s… a problem.”
“Oh no. What?”
She opened her eyes, and looked at Hazy Shade, sullenly.
“Her.”
“Her? Her who?”
“Her.”
“Oh, her? That’s a problem?”
“Yes.”
“Well, what can you do about her?”
“I have to at least talk to her.”
“Yeesh. And say what?”
She swallowed her mead in one gulp. She made a short chuckle.
“Oh, whatever you’re imagining, it’s going to be a lot worse.”
Princess Celestia sat regally on her throne, flanked by two high-ranking guards and her court stenographer, Cricket. She was nearing the end of her petitions session for the day, during which any Equestrian citizen could stand before her with questions or concerns about how the kingdom was run. She had just finished with a builder who had complaints about gazebo regulations, and now checked her schedule to see what was next.
“Next on the docket… oh! Hello, Light Fantastic!”
Light Fantastic calmly stepped forward into the center of the throne room. She bowed.
“Hello, Princess Celestia. Good day to you.”
“It says here you’d like to lodge a complaint about Midtown weather scheduling?”
“No, your highness, that was just a lie to get in here. I needed to talk to you about something personal.”
The guards raised their eyebrows and tightened their grips on their spears. Cricket stopped typing.
“Ma’am, should I…?”
“Just a moment, Cricket. Light, what is it?”
Light Fantastic lifted her head and looked Princess Celestia in the eyes.
“Please have sex with Rad.”
Celestia buried her face in her hooves. The guards relaxed. Cricket stared at her stenograph.
“Ma’am, should I…?”
“Continue transcribing, Cricket. This needs to be on the official record for once.”
Celestia cleared her throat. “First of all, no. And second, I thought we were all past this.”
“I thought so, too. But I think he’s about to ask me to marry him.”
The guards smiled. Cricket smiled. Celestia looked surprised, then smiled, as well.
“That’s wonderful. Congratulations!”
“But that means he’s giving up on having sex with you.”
“Well, that’s good, isn’t it?”
“But he has to. It’s his cutie mark. I don’t know how or why, but it’s his destiny. I can’t deny him that. I can’t let him go his whole life wondering what could have been.”
“Light, Radish has moved on. He’s over me.”
“He says he is. But he still dreams about you, you know. He says your name in his sleep.”
“I know. He told me. But dreams are just fantasies, Light. You’re his reality. You’re who he chooses to wake up to.”
“But he’s just settling for me. Remember Sky? She made him come here to pursue you, even though she was falling for him. I used to think that was stupid of her- that if you love someone, you’d never let them go.”
Light touched her face. Her eyes were tearing up.
“But that’s not how love works, is it? Love is selfless. It means you want what’s best for them, even if it’s someone else. And I love him so much. Please, just one night with him. Just one hour, even.”
Celestia looked aside. “I cannot do that, Light.”
“Don’t you want to see what will happen when you finally have sex with him? The whole world’s been curious about it for years. You can put an end to this big mystery.”
“I’m not going to have sex with someone just to see what happens.”
“Please. You know how your face looks on them, right? Doesn’t it look amazing? Don’t you want that?”
“Light, I’m a hundred times his age.”
“Big whoop! You’re that much older than everyone!”
“I knew him as a child!”
“For like five minutes! Then he grew up. And he grew up handsome. Don’t you think he’s good-looking?”
Cricket looked up at Celestia, waiting for her next line. Celestia sighed.
“You don’t know what you’re asking of me, Light. It won’t fix any problems, it will only make new ones.”
“Please. He’s good at it. He’s muscular. Powerful. But he can be really gentle! He’s a cuddler. And when he holds you, you feel so safe and warm.”
Cricket typed furiously. Her face was getting flush.
“And in case you’re wondering, he’s got a really-”
“Stop! Not you, Cricket. Light, let’s say I did. What happens when the next stallion shows up with cutie marks of me? Do I just sleep with him, too? What if a hundred ponies show up at my doorstep with me on their flanks? Shall I just lie back and think of Equestria for each one of them? And what if you meet a stallion with a cutie mark bearing you? Are you going to have sex with him, just to see what happens? And if some girl shows up at your wedding with a mark featuring Radish, will you let them sleep together, for destiny? Light, I’m not setting this precedent. It ends here and now.”
Light sank to her knees. She sniffled.
“Please. You’re gorgeous. You’re tall. Your hair does that- that- thing that it does. You’re elegant. And wise. And powerful. And kind. Even your voice is beautiful. And what am I? I’m just a skinny little pegi. I could never compete with all that. No mare can. But if I can’t compete with you, I can at least let him get you out of his system. Whatever happens after that, happens.”
“But he’s chosen you,” said Celestia. “He loves you. He wants to marry you. You’ve already won, Light.”
“I won. But Rad is stuck with a consolation prize.”
“Light, listen. I’m sorry. This is something I cannot do. But I wish you and Radish a long and happy life together. I don’t do this for many, but if you’d like me to perform the ceremony, I’d be happy to.”
Light held herself and looked at the floor.
“Yeah, okay,” she mumbled. “Thanks.”
Light numbly stepped out of the palace into the midday sun.
Celestia’s palace. Celestia’s sun. It’s all her world, we’re just milling about it until it’s our time to leave it. My boyfriend belongs to her, even though she doesn’t want him. What does that make him? What does that make me?
She walked down the front steps, running out of steam as she reached the bottom. She just stopped and sat down, unable to move. She heard hoofsteps approaching behind her. Cricket stepped up beside her.
“I’m just a stenographer,” she said softly, gazing out at the crowds milling about the front commons. “I’m not supposed to comment or act on things I hear in there. But Major Root is always nice to the staff. He greets us all by name. Treats us with the same respect as he would the princesses.”
“He always said that ‘respect is the currency of the plains’.”
“And of the palace. That’s why I want to help Radish. There’s this griffon trader that’s been coming into Rye Stubble’s all this week. He’s been saying some interesting things about cutie marks. You might want to talk to him.”
“Thanks, Cricket.”
Light found the griffon in Rye Stubble’s, drinking and complaining about the potency of pony drinks. She bought him a double to start him talking.
“Yeah, an uncharted town way out there. All the ponies had the same butt stamp. An equal sign. At first I thought it was a town for math nerds, but apparently they all traded in their old marks for the same one.”
“How is that possible?”
“I dunno how booty marks work. I just stopped by to trade, and their mayor, or whatever, shooed me away. She said I didn’t have anything they needed.”
“Did they seem happy like that?”
“Yeah, it was wall-to-wall smiles and singalongs there. Bit creepy to me, but I get that’s how pony folk roll. Togetherness and whatnot.”
“Could you find it again? Mark it on a map?”
“Yeah. I could.”
“For another drink?”
“Well, I’ve built up a bit of a tab here.”
“I‘ll take care of it.”
Light entered Radish’s palace quarters. He slipped what looked like a catalog under a training manual as she approached him.
“Hey, Rad?”
“Hi, Light. What’s up?”
“I’m, uh, going to be out of town for a while. I heard about this sort of… artists’ retreat thing… that I think I should check out.”
“Oh? Okay.”
“The whole thing might be a waste of time. But if it’s everything I’ve heard it is… well, it could be huge.”
“For your career?”
“Uh, for my future. Definitely.”
“All right.” Radish hugged her. “Enjoy your retreat. But when you get back, how about we have a special night out together?”
“Yeah. I’d like that.” Light kissed him firmly, then leaned down to whisper at his cutie mark. “Sorry, princess. You should have taken the offer.”
“What’s that, Fan?”
“Nothing.”
She’s not doing what I think she’s doing… is she?
Oh.... oh dear.
This could go so many ways of interesting!
I knew she wouldn’t stand by and do nothing… and this is a logical progression of events… I was hoping for more trash talk- but this was more emotional. Her pleas seemed all the more genuine as a result. There’s only one thing I can’t imagine- those guards holding their tongue about what went down there. That kind of on the record hot gossip would burn through the castle like wildfire. What would Radish think if he knew Light petitioned Radish on his behalf? Could he exorcise Celestia from his unconscious mind? When will a reformed discord finally cross paths with Radish directly? I mean- those cutie marks would be right up his alley- almost like he put them there? And of course if he did get them removed- how would that affect Radish? It’s not like he’d lose his guard talents. I wonder if his dreams would stop? Lots of questions. I check daily to get my quota of Radish. Keep serving it up, Cocktail- I love it!!
This story man, never a dull moment.
Oho, nice maneuvering. This is better than I imagined.
You know what would be really funny? If after Radish inevitably gets his cutie mark removed, it turns out that Luna is right, and his special talent IS sex, and Celestia is on his mark because she was his first crush. Would be weird to figure that out though.
Welll now, this is really getting more interesting every chapter!
I am so curious to see what happens next, and how the situation between Light, Celestia, and Root gets resolved in the end.
Good luck on your future chapters!!
This was probably the last thing I expected for Light to do. Everything before Starlight's cult is just... insane. What was her plan even?
Huh. Not sure what to think of this right now. I really feel sorry for Light. She's in such a shitty situation.
11775309
Light’s original plan was to have Radish move on from Celestia by having sex with her. However, Celestia refused this.
Now, due to desperation, Light is searching for an alternative way to be first in Radish’s heart.
11775308
Since adherence to canon is king, I don’t think Radish will get with Celestia. However, I can be wrong for two reasons: 1.) The author chooses to break canon. 2.) The author brings them together after covering material from season nine, where the show concludes.
But, there is the possibility that the author will adhere to the lore of the comics that were published after the end of season nine, so reason two is iffy.
11775336
I think the author can jive canon and this story. It's not like Celestia being alone in canon is all that important to the actual story you know? Hell, she might just get together with Root when she steps down as Princess- it would be fitting in some ways for her to have been holding herself back as Princess.
11775309
i... Don't think she had a plan. This is a desperate mare floundering in the face of an existential threat to her happy future. No one likes being settled for as second best. It breaks marriages like twigs.
11775248
she is. its going to be a shit show of discordian proportions
Welp, here we go. I can only assume this is the (semi-)final arc?
Love makes fools of us all.
K so I'm going to make a prediction here. I think that the landslide that blocks starlight from being captured is going to make it so that light... Doesn't make it (or maybe gets heavily injured). It would be a gut punch for both radish and celestia to say the least! Celestia would definitely blame herself with her.... Messiah complex I think it's called? And radish would be shattered (and posibly backslide into his make a fort mentality).
This would then give that one changeling an in because he won't care it's not her. (if she died i mean.)
And so it's nearly time for the Mane 6 to deal with Starlight Glimmer and Our Town eh?
To see Light so selfless and let Celestia have a night with Radish and she still wants to take the self imposed high road makes me want to facepalm from her idiocy. But still, it was a nice chapter.
11775408
eh, shes got a point tho, the precedent in this kinda thing is hard to shake off. its ALLOT easier if you have it be no the first time tho, because then you can say that its not set in stone if you say yes to the next one.
11775357
That makes a lot of sense.
11775333
I doubt that Radish would have accepted it. Neither of them truly want it at this point, and I doubt Light wants it either.
Light definitely knows that she's The One in Radish's heart, but her heart doesn't understand it... if that makes sense.
11775301
His passion for Celestia is too strong to be just his first crush, he is attached to her like a snake coiling around his heart, whispering to him every second
Heh heh heh, the arc we've been waiting for since the story started
I do hope you give it justice, but from what we've seen so far I'm not too worried
11775464
Yeah this is the Story at its BEST! When its dealing with its Core Conflict!
Beware the Glim-Glam flim-flam, Fan.
Uh-oh.
11775368
Honestly, I don't see why this can't go all the way to the end of S9.
Every time I think I have figured out what the author is going to do next, they throw us a curve ball.
Nice
On the edge of my seat here! Been waiting for the intro to Glim for a long time! Eagerly awaiting to see how the author handles it.
Side note, I thought it was really awesome the reasoning / justification how Celly turned Light down. The question of "how far should we bend to the whim of destiny /fate /cutie mark /whatever".... Screw that. We make our own choices.
Well, I'm pleasantly surprised and excited to see where this goes! At first, I was annoyed that Light was acting the way she was, despite her position on Royal, but after giving it some thought, I think you nailed it this time! The fact that she cares about Radish enough to break her opinions on Celestia, then run off to Glim Glam, in order to have a happy life with him makes me optimistic for the two of them in future.
Not only does this story bring Radish and Lights relationship to it's biggest moment, it can bring the mane 6 back into play for the first time since Celestia's blowup since this is inevitably going to lead to a total standoff between Radish & Light, Celestia, Glimmer, and the Mane 6 all at once.
This is the first time in a long while I felt the story actually moving somewhere and I can't be happier. Pretty much every plotline and confrontation minus Radish and Shining has the potential to come to a head to head here and this could get very exciting very quickly. I was hoping to eat my words from the last chapter and you delivered. Let's see how this goes!
Be interesting to see how Light reacts once she actually gets to see Our Town. Because I wouldn’t put it past her to catch on to what’s really going on there (I mean, even a passing griffon can get at least a hint that something’s creepy about the place) and, smart mare that she is, at least make a good attempt at noping right back out -- it’s not necessarily that Starlight’s cutie mark removal magic couldn’t at least point a way towards solving Radish’s problem in principle, it’s that while she’s still in “All cutie marks are evil and have to go!” zealot mode she’s unlikely to actually ‘help’ the two in a way they’d be happy with.
so Glim-Glim gets a walk on.
wonder how long before
Light gets trapped?
light fingers out how fake the town is?
Great chapter much more emotional then expected, its lovely to see that Light will go to great lengths for Rad.
Really looking forward to Starlight, though I am wondering if were are ever gonna stray from the canon, since that makes the outcome much more predictable.
This situation definitely creates an interesting moral quandary. On one hand, Celestia wants to keep personal autonomy. On the other, Light wants to keep harmony/destiny/fate. Both are in the right, in their minds.
I do think that Radish has reached a position that he should marry Light. Given how far their relationship is, that is the right thing to do.
However, I think Radish should have continued to pursue Celestia. He should have continued to pursue her, even after her rejections. He's put himself in a situation that he's grown too attached to both, and should have stayed committed to one.
11776598
How long should someone wait for another thats clearly not interested or at least not interested in any kind of relationship, forever? Thats just stupid dude. Thats like saying you had a crush in school and because she never said yes then that means your never gonna start a family, have kids or have a life all because of one person for the rest of your life.
Rad did the right thing by moving on with his life, like any normal sane person would do.
11776598
I'm sorry? Whatever happened to "no means no"?
Well. This writer really plays with emotions.
Man, how does a story deal with such a bizarre topic and make it such fascinating and interesting content?
Ah!! That's a good idea! Light feels happy when she's with Radish. Why should she give that up because of someone else? I'm excited to see where this goes...
Oh dang, wow. I can see her logic here. I guess she might feel like if she marries Radish as it is, he might be destined to leave her. But if he sleeps with Celestia just once, his destiny is fulfilled and he can marry Light faithfully? That is a bleak worldview.
lol
Celestia has a good monologue about precedents. It happened once before, with that ancient earth pony. Who's to say it won't happen again?
I guh-asped here. Oh my gosh, what a twist! Light is going to check out the town without him! Oh no!