Radish took a deep breath and entered his captain’s office. She was at her desk, typing. She looked up at him.
“Mornin’, Root.”
“Ma’am, I’m here to take responsibility for the Coronation Day infiltration. It was all my fault- they only got as far as they did because I was careless about discussing palace security.”
Barrel Roller pushed an unfurled scroll toward him. It had the cutie marks of Celestia, Luna, Cadance, and Twilight stamped across the bottom.
“Yeah, I know. But the four princesses have elected not to prosecute you on the matter.”
“Oh… I see.”
“But that only clears you of the criminal charges. Your actions not only endangered the princesses, but the palace staff, guests, and your fellow guards. And I have every right to punish a guard who violates his oath to defend Equestria.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll take whatever punishment is coming to me.”
She put a document with her own letterhead on top of the scroll. “Two weeks’ suspension. Without pay.”
“Oh? Uh, yes, ma’am.”
She rolled her chair over to her file cabinet and pulled out a folder. “And when that’s done, you’ve got a new assignment. We got the go-ahead for the Everfree Forest research station. It’ll take some time to set up the facility, and then you’re taking charge of it.”
“You want me to lead the station?”
“The whole thing was your idea, Root. A number of personnel only signed on to the project when they learned your name was attached.”
“What, me? Why?”
She flipped through the folder. “Some of the newer guards wanted to learn under the guy who faced off against the changeling commander. Some of the science team wanted to work alongside the guy who uncovered the history of the Storm Centurions. And a lot of ponies just want to meet the guy who beat Celestia in a cage match.”
“Really?”
“Really. You’re making a name for yourself out there, Root.”
“I never thought I’d be renowned for something other than… well, you know.”
“Uh huh.”
“But even so… I no longer feel like I should take a posting so far away from my girlfriend.”
“Her?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Root, new projects need strong leadership to get off the ground. You can name a replacement once the place is running smoothly. A few months, maybe.”
“Well, then, I’d want to use a pegasus chariot to come and go from Canterlot as I please.”
“You’re a major now. You already get that perk.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“All right, ma’am. I'll do it."
"Huzzah."
Radish lay back on his bed, reading detective anthology. There was a knock at this door. He opened it to see Light Fantastic, with a sheepish-looking Hazy Shade behind her.
“Hi, girls,” he said.
"Radish," said Hazy, "Light told me about how you got suspended because of me. I've come to apologize."
“I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at myself.”
“Just let her do this, Rad,” said Light. “Midtowners have a ritual for settling accounts.”
“Uh, okay.” He let them into his quarters. “How do you settle accounts?”
Hazy Shade held up two small glass bottles in her wings- one dark green and one pale yellow. “These liquors are hoofmade in the neighborhood. The green one is expensive and really good. The yellow one is really cheap and horrible. The wronged party -that’s you- gets a choice: you can either take the green as a gift, or make me drink the yellow as my punishment. Either way, we stay friends.”
“None of this is necessary. Everything worked out in the end.”
“No, it’s definitely necessary,” said Hazy.
“Yeah, Rad,” said Light, “she came out all this way. Don’t you want to honor our neighborhood traditions?”
“Fine. I’ll take the green.”
Hazy passed Radish the bottle. “Okay. Fanny also gets to pick, since I wronged her, too.”
“Oh, you’re getting the yellow,” said Light.
Hazy sighed. “I knew you’d say that.”
“Is it really that bad?" asked Radish.
“Worse.”
Radish took a sip of the green bottle. His eyes widened. “Whoa, this is good.”
Hazy pinched her nostrils closed with her wings and took a swig of the yellow bottle. She forced it down, shuddering. She held still for a moment, then bolted to Radish’s bathroom, slamming the door behind her.
“Hazy!?” called Radish. He heard her retching. Radish frowned at Light. “Fan, that was vindictive. She could really be sick.”
“Nah, she’s fine.” The sound of retching grew louder and more desperate. “How are you?”
“Bored.”
“You don’t have to spend your suspension in your quarters. Come hang out with me at the shop.”
“This is supposed to be a punishment. If I’m enjoying it, I’m only encouraging myself to break the rules again.”
“Honestly, sometimes I swear you’re from a different planet.”
A scroll burst overhead. Radish caught the dragon mail and read it.
“What’s her highness want now?” asked Light.
“Let’s see… I’m invited to Ponyville’s yearly… Tongue-Twister Festival.”
“Seriously?”
“Five days of tongue-twister games, panels, and workshops, capped off by a tournament. The grand prize is… a hat that looks like a tongue.”
“Ooh, let’s get you signed up.”
“I’d love to, but I’ll be too busy hanging out with my girlfriend at her shop.”
Hazy Shade limped out of the bathroom, holding her gut with her wings.
“Are you okay?” asked Radish.
“Yeah,” she said hoarsely. “I’m fine.”
“Hey, Hazy, I’ll make a deal with you,” said Light. She held up the invitation. “You don’t have to finish the yellow if you win me this hat.”
Hazy peered at the invitation. She gave Light a defiant glare, then grabbed the bottle and chugged it.
I'm cautiously optimistic for this arc. Radish leaving the city is a great way to break the tired cycle of Celestia/Shining abuse and really start to develop this story more! We haven't really seen Ponyville or the Mane 6 & Spike for more than a few sentences since Celestia's explosion or Shining's abuse coming to light (Since there's no way Cadence didn't tell Twilight) so I'm curious about how Twilight is going to feel about it and how she is going to treat Radish.
I would have preferred a longer and more impactful aftermath with Radish and Shining, but honestly, I'm just happy the story seems to be backing off that cycle more than anything and there will be surely be other opportunities for them to meet and really hash it out later.
It will also be interesting to see how both the main cast and Ponyville in general is taking Celestia's blowup, since they all also treated her with reverence and has their faith shaken. We haven't really heard the seven and the town since, and I was a bit worried that the story completely dropped it, but it got a mention in this chapter so it clearly hasn't even though the people of Canterlot (including Radish, annoyingly) seem to be trying their best to ignore it.
On a much lighter note, your world building in Canterlot was amazing and you did a great job making the city feel alive! So, I can't wait to see how you write Ponyville, because that's where this story really shines!
humm the red pill or the blue???
one makes you beg the other makes you small.
love the chapter but to read it will make you tall.
Nice
I don’t understand why Radish is being punished for the incompetence of those above him or why he not only accepts it, but advocates for it? Seriously, this story is frustrating sometimes.
11490750
Exactly. Especially since all four Princesses are fully aware of Shining's actions, yet he not only wasn't punished, Celestia got upset at Cadence for doing so much as making him sleep on the couch for a night. Years of abuse and it's pretty much shrugged off and dropped in six sentences. The same goes for Celestia and the entire cast shrugging off her meltdown and salvo of attacks on all of her agencies, guards, family and friends continues to baffle me.
This story does a lot of things very right and a lot of things very wrong. The good outweighs the bad for the moment, especially since we have a change of scenery coming up, but I just hope the author takes the constructive criticism that the comments section is giving to heart and make the story flow more. Seemingly every time we reach a major turning point, it fizzles out either in one paragraph or entirely off screen and we move on as if nothing happened and we await the next time either Celestia or Shining want to ruin Radish's life and get rewarded for it.
Malört moment
11490759
At this point, I think the ending of this story is going to be underwhelming, especially if the ending is Radish and Celestia becoming a couple. Basically, the ending can be summarized as Radish is compensated for all the miseries he suffered by being permitted to have sex with a specific individual. Even though said individual contributed to a substantial portion of his hardship.
Overall, that doesn’t seem like a great payoff for any story, let alone this one. But then again, the author may have another ending in mind.
11490744
I guess the pill that makes you beg must be addictive. Equestrian opium anyone? No matter how bad the mis-spelling is, it can lead to a good story idea. I wonder what would happen if you gave Saul and friends a few poison joke blossoms to play around with.
11490791
A couple of ideas come to mind. Radish joins Starlight Glimmer's cult, or Terek wipes away his cutie mark permanently, or he becomes like Eric, the Half-a-Bee from Monty Python and no longer has to fear his cutie mark as it's on a portion of his anatomy which was permanently bi-sected one afternoon by an irate John Cleese. Please note, that despite what I'm saying here I like this story arc and want to see where it goes.
11490808
In regards to Tirek, I think Radish is going to use the plants that he took from the lair of Nightmare Moon to stop him. In regards to Starlight Glimmer, I think that Radish will encounter her when she seeks revenge on Twilight.
However, instead of destroying the fabric of time, Starlight Glimmer will probably come to the belief that she can offer a service to Equestria by removing unwanted cutie marks; first starting with Radish. She stops her quest for revenge and Radish, in a way, saves the day again.
11490791
It's not even that for me. I can viciously disagree with a character's actions but still love the story if It's written well and if I can understand why they did what they did. Scyphi's "Grief Is The Price We Pay" is a great example. Without spoiling anything, I was extremely upset at the ending and was pissed off at several characters for their decisions and the whole thing left a bitter taste in my mouth, but it was BRILLIANT! Everything was foreshadowed from the beginning and I fully understand why everything happens it did, even if I want to slap some of the characters, and I think it's one of the best stories on the site as a result.
This story, on the other hand, doesn't capture that. The setting and world building is fantastic and the OCs are extremely well written, but the roadblock comes whenever anything major happens to Radish, but in order to maintain the status quo, Radish has to remain a doormat and move on.
In any other story, Celestia's blowup would have been a major turning point and the start of something big, instead it's quickly and quietly dropped and scarcely mentioned again and Radish seems to go through all of that for nothing. Same goes for Halycon, where Celestia did something similar and drove him to near suicidal levels, causing him to shave his marks. They share a quick paragraph of half hearted apologies and it's never mentioned again. Shining waves his supposed power around for 2/3rd of the story and nearly ruins Radish's life multiple times, and Yet, they share six sentences together and he goes back to the Crystal Empire as a hero who can do no wrong!
Unlike "Grief", this just feels like I'm reading several really good 80% complete novels stapled together with all of their resolutions missing. I'm trying not to get too upset, as I do genuinely love this story and the characters and world it has created, but I'm getting to the point where I can't get excited over anything since seemingly every time it looks like everything is changing for the story, the plot just wimpers out and dies, Radish ends up with the short end of the stick , the story has to do back flips to try to justify Shining and Celestia's actions, and every major emotional scene is completely forgotten and invalidated in two chapters.
I just hope this Ponyville arc changes the story for the better, because it really needs it.
You chapter ending lines are getting better.
I about woke the neighbors via laughter.
11490826
I agree. I thought the story would dramatically change after the fight between Radish and Celestia. The latter would suffer a major fallout from her tirade — smeared public image, massive amount of resignations, fractured personal relationships, and guilt for mistreatment of an innocent pony.
Meanwhile, the former would be consumed with negative emotions, suffer an existential crisis, and contemplate either suicide or ghosting society entirely.
Alien!! I know it she is an alien you can't deny this fact!
Apparently VERY BAD BOOZE is better than going to tongue twister contest.
11490826
So much of it just makes me angry, and it seems as the result of dumb and unrealistic moves by the characters rather than by unfair circumstances. I fhink the worst part is when he has the opportunity to tell celestia what his grievances were with shining, and had an opportunity to voice the things that shining has done to him, but instead decides to insult him. What the fuck? Huh? Its like those stupid side plots in movies where the plot gets derailed by some stupid misunderstanding that could be resolved with 2 seconds of talking, but at least that gets resolved somewhat cleanly. It's so incredibly frustrating. Nobody here acts like an adult, and everything must be handled the worst way possible. Ffs I've thought of abandoning this story because of it.
11490855
I have a strong feeling Radish and Idol would get along famously.
11490750
Pretty sure those two weeks suspension were Barrel Roller’s way of giving him time off with Light and extra vacation. Unpaid for, but still. Not every move in this story is about screwing Radish over. Radish is just as dense as Idol Hooves from Changeling of the Guard when it comes to his duty. In Changeling of the Guard, they do something similar at one point for comedy’s sake, but it’s only because it’s for comedy’s sake that they’re able to spell it out there. This story is much more grounded than CotG. It’s characters thrive on being flawed and real, so there’s no way in Tartarus Barrel Roller is ever going to actively tell Radish when she’s being nice to him. She was originally against giving him the job in Ponyville, but now all of a sudden she isn’t. There’s no direct praise, but she goes out of her way to point out the other ponies that want him leading, and then makes sure he knows he can still see Light.
All of this is his reward, but COs can’t afford to look like they’re playing favorites. If she was serious about punishing him for leaking enough security info to make three ponies try and infiltrate the coronation, he would get a lot worse than 2 weeks suspension.
11490921
The thing with Changeling of The Guard, though, is that the only one that is ignorant of events is Idol himself. No one is really holding the Idiot Ball, they're just treating him as they would treat anyone else. And with recent chapters, it's clear that Idol isn't in complete control of his mind and actions anyway, so most of his baffling ideas seem to come from the conga line of Geas spells in his head and everyone else is trying their best to keep up.
With this story, it's different in that every character seems to hold the Idiot Ball whenever possible. Barrel Roller's "punishment" I can understand, you brought up a fantastic counterpoint there, but that's not my issue with it. Barrel Roller should have thrown Shining out of her office the moment he walked in as he has absolutely no clearance to be there and interfere. The only way he would is if Celestia overruled Barrel Roller. If Celestia didn't authorize it, Shining should have been arrested, but with this story's track record, it was inexplicably portrayed as a noble thing to do and Radish gets "punished" for a hell of a lot less. And he just takes it without question because order forbid Radish stands up for himself for once.
Oh yeah, it's the woodchuck chuck and seashells by the seashore time.
We just had a notable brouhaha about how Shining Armor doesn't actually have jurisdiction in Equestria anymore, so what's Cadance's cutie mark doing stamped on there? This was a matter regarding Equestria's internal security insofar as their Royal Guard is concerned.
Looks like the wife is as bad as the husband.
11491332
The four princesses were the intended victims of the crime, so they have a lot of say in how the charges proceed. It's closer to a polite request than an official pardon- Barrel Roller could still push for charges against Radish if she really wanted to... but she hates paperwork.
11491385
Again, how is Radish the one responsible for what transpired? All he did was write the documents, he was not responsible for their security.
At this point, all his superiors (including the Princesses) are doing is scapegoating him to deflect from their incompetence and or prejudice.
11491432
He sketched out the full infiltration route in front of Light Fantastic, who joked about it to Hazy Shade, who deliberately informed Pilcrow. Coppertop and the archives were a red herring.
11491385
Ye gods, they were going to try and pull the wings off of all the princesses, not just Twilight?! The CAA's conspiracy ran deeper than we knew!
11491385
Paperwork is the bane of every Captain's existence.
Two week vacation. Man, having friends in high places sure is useful.
11492043
Unpaid though. If Root was a family stallion, that would hurt even more.
11492062
He's responsible enough to have at least 6 month of backup money, He lived most his life at the edge of civilization where he could spend none of his hard earned money too but I see you point. If he was a normal guard living paycheck to paycheck to support his family it could have been a problem.
11492094
Just because one has the savings doesn’t mean there isn’t a visceral sensation of looming dread, seeing those savings deplete.
11491332
I actually don't understand why they (Cadence and Shining) suddenly lost any jurisdiction in Equestria when they were essentially placed into their new positions by Celestia when Crystal Empire reemerged. For me it seems like just relocation. Yes, they were assigned to other chain of command but they didn't lost their rank nor citizenship. At least that's what show showed.
11492269 The show was fairly silent (or rather, markedly inconsistent) on whether or not the Crystal Empire was a separate polity from Equestria, some sort of client state, or a district within Equestria's political structure. Depending on how you look at it, there's (highly circumstantial) evidence for all of those interpretations, and probably some others too. It simply wasn't very concerned with those details.
Insofar as this story goes, however, the implication (as I read it) was that they're not part of Equestria's political jurisdiction, as evidenced by this line of Radish's from Chapter 77:
Specifically, that "neither a subject" part suggested that the Crystal Empire is a separate and distinct entity from Equestria, with the same going for its royals, and as such Cadance wouldn't (normally) be in a position to pardon an Equestrian citizen for wrongdoing committed in Equestria.
But maybe I'm just overthinking it, what with the author of the story having already replied and all.
11492324
I did said chain of command. For example, avia, naval and ground troops are soldiers of one army and of one government but they don't have right to order each other. And let's be honest here, so called "Crystal Empire" is merely one city-state that is under protection of Equestria. Their government is placed there by Equestria. All this makes "Empire" Equestria's satellite and Cadence vassal of Celestia and Luna. And that she's now governor of this city-state doesn't mean that she stopped being princess of Equestria. Shining is her prince-consort.
11492269
11492324
Basically, yeah, I see the Crystal Empire as a separate nation, but it's one that's on very friendly terms with Equestria. Given that it was in stasis for a thousand years, and under Sombra's control before that, it's very dependent on Equestria to heal and rebuild. And in my mind, the crystal ponies asked Cadance to lead them because they believe she has a connection to their lost royal family.
And it's worth noting that the workings of it all can evolve over time. When Luna reappeared, the Royal Guard suddenly had to figure out how she fit into their command structure. It took time to update the rule book. The Empire is freshly reappeared, so congress will probably take years deciding what that really means, legally and politically speaking.
11492363
It is total coincidence that Celestia placed her there from the very start and that those ponies asked her to rule them. The fact that Celestia knew Amore personally and Cadence looks similar and have crystal heart buttmark is irrelevant. Honestly.
11492378 Well, don't forget that the MLP comics recently declared themselves non-canon, so references to Amore aren't too salient anymore.
11492411
Maybe. But my point still stays, only name of their previous princess may be different. Cadence was recognised as their princess by her image only.
11492411
Ugh. Nice to see the comics have joined the show crew on the "everyone who even slightly criticises us is terrible person and will be immediately lumped in with the 'save MLP' a-holes" train. It's one of several reasons why I don't want to get involved in g5.
11494578
Ah yes, content creators who believe respect is automatically deserved rather than earned, and who think criticism of shortcomings is the same thing as being physically assaulted.
11490826
"Grief is the Price we Pay". Great reminder to give me depression for a couple days. Especially considering Trixie and Jar Catcher.
Getting Grief as an argument is strange here as what we see is a fricking tragedy, so characters are on a downwards spiral scince it's the "imperfect timeline". What we have here is a slice of life of whats effectively a soldier - whose life is effectively dealing with some abuse but also his Cutie Mark propably makes him just take all the bullshit from Shining from beeing used to be treated like a doormat and this strange fear to not destroy his life routine of getting closer to Celestia even if he got more-or-less over her.
Shining was a complete misuse of a character but most could tell Root was here for Celestia but his skill and smarts kept him around. The higher-ups basicly had to adress his intrinsic nature and keeping him down seemed to be the response most would take. Issue is he prevailed. The issue the writer did is that he didn't put a subordinate under Shining most of the abuse could come from. We know the private dork personality of him and making him such an entrenched hardass was a bit of an overkill. Personally I would make his magic affinity a big part of his position (magic minigun in a command chair) while spreading the force keeping Root down more evenly to really show how it's dealing with animosity and harrasement. It's a number of small things you get from many people and you don't have anybody to turn to if your alone with your otherness.
But well, that ship has sailed. Shining is a prince now, all we could see is Root one day cooperating on equal grounds with him as our boy is slowly moving up. Root would fit amazingly as Armour's co-commander - one is around not flinching and the secound is looking for any openings and clues. Having to lead some operation together with the current power dynamic and history would be one hell of a story where Root finally would have a real opportunity to be officially recognised after one of his big feat. Just like he should during the discord crisis.
HUZZAH! :Luna:
(I feel slighted by the absence of a Luna emoji. This is how Noghtmare Moon happened, people!)