One after another, panicked thugs galloped down the winding stairs that led to the first floor of the Stronghold. Their hooves echoed with loud clatters against the walls of the stairwell—a space that was growing smaller and smaller. As they reached the lowest levels, their panting voices reached a fever pitch:
“We're taking on water! I just know it!”
“Was that an explosion just now?!”
“No way in Hell! Who could have gotten down here?!”
“I thought White Foam was guarding the place!”
“Friggin' coral huffer, I swear...”
Suddenly, the head of the line skidded to a stop, his front hoof splashing into water. A line of liquid was rapidly rising up the stairwell. The entire bottom floor had already been consumed.
“Buck me...” The lead stallion stammered.
“This is bad...” Another glanced around, teeth chattering. “And it's getting worse! The water level is rising!”
“We gotta tell Boss Revan!”
“You mean run up to the top floor?!” One stallion shook his head. “Screw that! We gotta open the flood pipes before it gets any higher!”
“How do you expect us to do that?!”
“How else?” And the lead stallion kicked two of his comrades into the drink.
“Wh-whoah!” SPLASH!
“Quickly!” The last three stallions dove in after them, shining flashlights into the rising depths. “About three meters down! The north and south walls! Pull the levers!”
The air filled with splashing and sputtering as all five thugs dove around, dodging debris as they frantically looked for the apparatuses that would vent the excess floodwaters.
“Hurry up!”
“It's rising!”
“We gotta stop it before it reaches another level!”
Meanwhile, behind the group, a petite figure rose up, drifting like a log. With wings outstretched, Rainbow Dash pony-paddled in a circle, making her way to the stairwell. She waited for a series of distorted waves from the amphibious thugs to reach the bottommost step. Then, holding her breath, she hopped onto dry stairwell. The movement caused a tiny splash, and she froze in place.
Thankfully, none of the thugs turned towards the source of the errant noise. They were far too busy with diving for the dive vents in the waters below.
The waterline kept rising, and Rainbow Dash didn't waste anytime. Sticking to the shadows, she trotted up the steps, got a head start, then flew with moist feathers.
One and a half flights up, Rainbow sensed the shadows of more stallions galloping down. Gritting her teeth, she twirled about, then hid her small body behind a vertical support beam.
Just a few seconds later, a fresh wave of frantic guards rushed down the steps—moving right past her.
The mare held her breath, staying still for a little bit longer. Then—stealing a peek to see if the coast was clear—she flapped her wings and ascended up the steps. Halfway through her climb, however, she paused, looking at the south wall of the third floor.
She spotted a round cylinder poking out of the surface. Two levers flanked it, well within a leg's reach of one another.
Smirking, the wet pony pointed at the structure. “That's the ticket...”
Then—as the panicked voices doubled down below—Rainbow made her way stealthily towards the fourth floor, then flew straight for the supply compartment.
Creaaaaak!
Rainbow opened the door slowly. She peered her dripping muzzle in, looking left and right.
The room was barren. Rainbow spotted the vault on the far end, as well as the bruised guards in the corner. However, there was no griffon.
“... … ...Wildcard?”
Her blue brow furrowed.
She drifted forward, one pensive step at a time.
“I dunno if you noticed, but they're reenacting the Legend of Atlantrot downstairs. Now's a super bad time to be one with the—”
Schiiiing! A pair of nightsticks crossed around her neck from behind.
“—shadows?” she squeaked, bug-eyed.
Half-a-second later, the griffon backed off, wincing. He pocketed away his weapons and apologized profusely through a series of clattering talons.
“Yo... yo, it's okay...” Rainbow waved, then rubbed her throat with a shuddering breath. “I'm just glad you don't use katanas as a signature weapon.”
Wildcard nodded, exhaled, and shuffled over towards the three thugs.
“So... uh...” Rainbow trotted after him. “We haven't much longer until the floodwaters reach us. Please tell me you've found a way to open the vault.”
Wildcard shook his feathered head. He reached into the pile of bodies and picked up the unicorn's groaning figure.
“Orrrrr... we could come up with a solution together. Why not?” Rainbow shrugged. “I'm guessing Bard is the brains of the operation,” she said with a smirk.
Wildcard's goggles reflected her with a mute glare. He then hoisted the unicorn up onto the table, slamming him down. WHUMP!
“Oooof!” Just like that, the thug woke. Upon seeing Wildcard, he simply snarled: “You're here for our fortune, aren't you? Well... eat shit, bird brain!” He grinned wickedly. “Boss Revan's promised that my entire family will be fed for life! I'm not opening anything for you!”
Wildcard sneered. T-t-t-ting! Razor sharp claws extended from each metal digit of his prosthetic.
“Heh...” The unicorn spat in his face and leaned back with a smug grin. “Do your worse!”
Wildcard raised his talon high—
GRIP! Rainbow grapped the limb, then hummed into Wildcard's ear. “Easyyyyyyyy there, bad cop.” She cleared her throat. “I know we're in a hurry and all, but I committed to not ripping any dudes' hearts out, no matter how rancid!”
Wildcard rolled his goggled eyes, sighing.
“If you can't come up with another way to open the door, then I guess I'll have to—”
With a jerk, the griffon hoisted the unicorn off the table and dragged him towards the vault.
Rainbow watched from afar, blinking.
“...?” The unicorn's bruised brow furrowed. “What are you doing—?” He gasped.
Wildcard spun the unicorn around, bent him forward, and shoved his horn straight into the manaconsole's niche positioned alongside the vault door.
“Guh!” The unicorn sneered, glaring at the griffon through the edges of his eyes. “Dammit, you imbecile! I told you—there's no force on heaven or earth that's gonna make me open this stupid—”
Wildcard reached in, spread the stallion's legs wide, then slammed his knee straight into the unicorn's groin at full force.
“GKKKKKK!” The unicorn's eyes rolled back in agony. His horn glowed as bright as the sun and—
DING! Hisssssssssss! The vault door opened with a cold groan.
“... … ...” Rainbow Dash finally finished wincing. Fanning herself, she trotted forward and peered into the vault. She looked aside at the unicorn.
“Mmmmmmommmyyyy...” WHUMP! The stallion collapsed in a crumpled mess, whimpering in a high-pitched voice. A cold griffon stepped casually over his body and entered the vault.
“Whew...” Rainbow Dash brushed her bangs back, then glanced aside at an empty spot in the air. “Maybe I should have clarified my stipulations more, but somehow... I don't regret it.” She heard the rattling of metal. Curious, the mare shuffled towards the opened vault. “Well, Wildcard? Is anything there? Was this whole escapade worth it?”
As she entered the vault, she could see a griffon standing, facing multiple metal shelves and racks. The mare had to squint, for there was a positively blinding glint of light... probably caused by the row upon row of countless platinum bars. The griffon peered aside, then pointed a prosthetic talon at the fortune with a grin.
Rainbow's muzzle parted. “... … ...bangarang.”
Wub.
You might say they sacrificed a couple jewels to get that gold (or platinum).
Also brbgoingtoprotectgenitalsnow*cringe*
...How the hell are they going to carry it all?
6220816
You couldn't just let that one go...
Good thing the stallion already has a family.
The only place that I can see this messing up is with Bard and Echo. Hmm...
6220816
And at that very moment, a ghostly "Wahaha!" could scarcely be heard wafting through the room.
6220861 ...can he still even be called a stallion? Or would he be a gelding now?
Alternate chapter title:
Just Gotta Hit The On Switch
Also: I think that's two crotch-shots in this series so far, and only males at that. Somehow I'm surprised we've made it this far without more.
Well.. no pony ever said Wildcard played fair.
..I was going to say better a knee than a punch, then I remembered,griffon's hindlegs are lion legs...that would hurt a lot.
-Memories given light, ease a lonely flight. Ynanhluutr.
Yeah, winced there.. and didn't realize you'd pull a 'Hook' movie reference at the end there.
Ahh Robin Williams, how we laughed at your antics.
Now you're being Ponified and immortalized in fiction through some awesome words by our favorite East Traveler.
So, I wonder if we'll be getting more references to classics? So far, they've been fun to try and pick out.
Whoever put the controls for the dewatering apparatus at the lowest level in the structure is probably in Engineer Hell right now.
It doesn't matter how she's doing it, why she's doing it, where she's doing it, or what she's trying to accomplish by doing it.
It's impossible for that not to sound fucking adorable.
6221166 derpicdn.net/img/2014/4/15/600666/large.png
Ever since... well, this entire escapade began, I've been wondering how they'll manage to not sink while swimming away with row upon row of countless platinum bars.
Wherever are they going to find enough luggage to carry it all aboard the speedy ship?
All they need now is a plumb Bob Hoskins. They could probably fit all that treasure in his roomy pantaloons.
InB4 platinum bars drag them to the bottom of the ocean, where their only hope of survival is the kisses of colorful sea ponies.
6220861
Might not after he gets home and his significant other realizes no more nighty-fun-time
Channeling Rarity
That's one way to get a door open, that's for sure.
considering the standard gold bar (american) is 7 inches x 3 and 0.625 inches x 1 and .75 inches, imma go with that as the size
and that makes 0.0256980613 cubic feet (somone check my math, i'm horrible with it) the total size
and the weight of 0.0256980613 cubic feet of platinum? 34.45 pounds
that's a lot of weight
now let's hope some handy "feather-weight" enchantments make those super light, or at least lighter
Wildcard is the merc without a mouth.
6221478 This is, in fact, the optimal outcome which we hope to reach, but I think Dash choosing to run off from Windthrow without giving an explanation already ruined the chance for the harem ending.
Well.... that was terrifyingly effective. And the most slapstick possible thing to have happened, in the story so far? Or at least anything close I can't think of at the moment.
6221567
You.
I like you.
I really like these guys, they defnitely Havent had their base built to Evil Overlord List Standards.
I will not place a critical lever in an easy to reach position.
Then again, given these are flood pumps, they pretty much have to be in an easy to reach position, but like a fire alarm, usually behind glass, so tehres an alarm loop?
6220944
The first was Rainbow using her tail against Thunderhorn near Windthrow, right? (Why do I remember that?)
Soooo... how do they plan to run away with all of that metal?
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo... Ouch.
6221875 How do you remember that? That's less than a year ago for me and I didn't remember it until you piped up just now.
6220034 Well, Thanks for checking anyway
6220944 I think it's due to Zaid being hundreds of miles away. Roarke too.
6221166 You'd think RD would learn to use her wings by now for swimming...
6222058
*shrug* My memory is weird. For example, I still remember pretty much everyone from Austraeoh (though some of the names escape me, like the unicorn captured by the minotaurs or the Silvadelian mare who dated Stu). Sometimes, some random details from a series I like just stick in my head. I guess that just comes with being autistic.
Pony-paddled may just be my new favourite verb. It's adoracute.
And inside was DJ PON3. ( My mind jumped to the skrillex song until I noticed the chapter name )
6221139
Considering your name and avatar, that remark seems appropriate.
6223348
Well, Rainbow has entered the hollow spaces beyond the
bluemetal that lies beneath the world and she once sealed some chaos beasts inside, so I suppose she has been to HFS and back.Talk about a nutcracker of a vault
6221674
Nah mang. Rainbow Dash's awesomeness just left such a huge impression on Gold Petal's life that she just constantly craves The Dash now. All it takes is the hint of a taste and you get hooked. Petals now desperatly tries to find mares to fill her empty heart, but she knows only a mythical fourway with that rainbow horse will fill the void.
This is important to me.
6221780
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/10/16/449943__safe_solo_applejack_animated_blushing_cute_the+last+roundup.gif
Finally.
-Spirit (Yeast and Treacle)
Who would have know that a decisive and powerful kick to the groin causes a unicorn to release magic. All very valuable information. But know I wonder how they'll get that fortune out of the vault.
Opening magically locked doors with one kick at a time.
Rarity... Expert architect and demolitions mare.
Kicked so hard a mare unrelated to him felt it. Ouch.
JACKPOT!
Don't feel sorry for him; this is the dude who wanted to make sure the families they were firebombing would burn alive slowly.
How the hell are you going to carry that out of here?
Holy horseapples, if that was not the kinkiest kick ever to get someone to horngasm.
My groin hurts just from reading that. Not that the guy didn’t deserve it though.
8731402
Yeah, that guy was full of it. Had to wmpty him of his pride first.
Good to see my favorite onomatopoeia was not a one shot thing!
6225351
This comment is severely inderated. that was a good pun.