"They have been gone forr an awfully long time," Kepler declared, rummaging through the glowing wagon's contents. He straightened several of the crates while simultaneously examining their rattled contents. "Surrely—unimpeded—Serraphimus would have made herr exit by now."
"Well, I guess it depends," Ariel said, tail flicking in concern as she paced by the nearest tunnel. She looked forlornly into the shadowed corridor. "Will Rainbow stop her?"
"If she's smart she will," Flynn muttered, leaning back and sharpening an Emeraldinian rapier.
"Lay off it, baldy," Logan muttered.
"Hah!" Flynn smirked bitterly across the chamber. "You're one to tell me to shut up! It's your fault she's free from her chains to begin with!"
"Then I guess it's my fault we're not troll food at the moment." Logan casually bit into a chunk of freshly-cooked meat. "Mrmmmff... you're welcome."
"Oh go soak your fat head, fatass!"
"That's a double 'fat.'" Logan gulped his food down and lethargically glanced at the bald unicorn. "Your insults are getting redundant."
"Stop treating this like it's some kind of a joke!" Flynn swung the sword into a nearby stalacmite. Clakkk! His mechanical eye angrily rotated in and out as he sneered: "It's our job to make sure the Austraeoh accomplishes her task while remaining alive! And your damned stupid impulsiveness could very well have cost us everything!"
"You don't know Seraphimus like I do," Logan muttered. Nevertheless, he avoided the stallion's gaze for the moment. "She's far past the need for bloodthirsty revenge—"
"No! You don't know that, Logan!" Flynn said firmly. "Time and time again that damned griffin has proven to be unpredictable as Hell! What—are we supposed to sacrifice everything we swore our lives to just because you've suddenly made yourself a Dark Side travel-buddy?!"
"It's not like that," Logan droned.
"Isn't it, though?"
"We're just..." Logan winced. "Seraphimus is just starting to come to grips with the reality of the situation—"
"Yeah! And that's why she's skipping off like an angsty teenager with nothing to prove!"
"Grnnngh..." Logan face-hoofed. "...egghead..."
"Don't 'egghead' me!" Flynn grunted. "You're starting to lose your priorities, Big Show!"
"Now just wait a damned—"
"If we were here to reform villains, we'd be making a epic quest to Equestria! Not the Midnight Armory, Goddess-damn-it!"
"Please..." Ariel rubbed her face with both hooves, moaning. "Can we please stop arguing..."
"Who's arguing?!" Logan shrugged. "I'm just sitting down to eat! Flynn over there is the crazy dog-in-heat trying to crucify me—"
"Yeah?!?" Ariel suddenly snapped, flying into Logan's face and snarling. "And you think he doesn't have a good reason to?!"
Logan leaned back, blinking in surprise. "Whoah, girl—"
"You made your decision without consulting Rainbow Dash! Without consulting the rest of us!" Ariel gnashed her teeth. "Did you even stop to consult your own good senses?!"
Logan gestured wildly. "How else were we gonna stave off the army of freaktards rushing up on our buttholes out there?! I did what made the most sense at the time—"
"No, you made a decision based on what was right in front of you without bothering to think twice!" Ariel exclaimed. "What gets me is that you didn't even try to come up with another option! What if we used the rune stones to blow up a trench in the army's path?! What if we used Kepler's magic bag of alchemic tricks to set the trolls on fire?! But noooooo! Let's release the angry vindictive psychopathic death chicken who's had a murder boner for Rainbow Dash from day one! That's totally the smart choice!"
"I wouldn't have done that if I didn't realize she had changed!" Logan growled.
"She's not the one who changed, Logan! You are!" Ariel frowned. "Since when did the bold and badass Big Show make grand decisions out of how he felt?"
"If I went with the way I felt..." Logan stood up in a blink, looming over Ariel. "...I wouldn't have come along with this flamin' shit circus to begin with! I have a daughter back in Rohbredden, Ariel! A baby foal! You think I felt fine with just leaving her to shiver under all them damned Windigoes?!"
"Logan, come on..." Flynn sighed, waving a hoof. "She didn't mean—"
"Damn your eyes, 'she didn't mean it!'" Logan huffed, eyes narrowing on the mare. "And who are you to lecture me about letting 'feelings' guide my actions, sweetcheeks? Not a day goes by when you don't reduce yourself to a brainless raincloud whenever the Austraeoh so much as farts in your direction—!"
"Dammit Big Show—" Ariel raised a hoof.
Swisssssh! Kepler glided to a stop between them. "Brrotherrs!" He held Ariel back with his scorpion tail and placed a wing against Logan's chest. "Frriends! Cease this adolescent prrattling at once—!"
"Did you hear what he said—?!" Ariel began.
"Can't keep her wings limp to save her soul—" Logan balked.
Suddenly, a ferocious lion's roar rumbled cacophonously through the cave. The air shook, and in the epicenter of the sabre-rattling vibration was Kepler's rabid face. His spectacles had shaken loose, revealing two frighteningly wide eyes in the center of a fiery flaring mane. "SILENCE!!!"
Ariel blinked, plopping to the ground and locking up.
Logan's ears folded back as his pupils shrunk to pinpricks.
From a distance, Flynn blinked. His knees were weak. "... ... ...whoah."
"Grffff..." Kepler exhaled, his limbs and shoulders going slack. Slowly—like a deflating tire—his mane went limp around his otherwise small frame. "Goddess above..." He rubbed the bridge of his nose. "...getting harrderr and harrderr to hold the innerr manticorre at bay." He took several deep breaths, brushed his mane straight, then placed his spectacles back into place with extraordinary care. At long last, he stood tall and proud, once again in possession of his calm and collective demeanor. "Do we not owe the Austrraeoh grreaterr rrespect than this? Did not the Mountain Matrron have a good and faithful rreason forr sacrrificing herr verry own life? Orr Axan, forr that matterr? Barrd? Rremna? Arriel's own motherr—may they all rrest in peace..."
Logan hung his head.
Ariel bit her lip and rubbed her shoulder and wings with a pensive hoof.
Flynn sighed, reaching a fetlock up to brush away bangs that weren't there.
"Big Show..." Kepler looked over. "...yourr frriends arre angrry at what you have done, not who you arre... even if they lack the arrticulate means of explaining that to you. And even if you feel disrrespected—and I underrstand why you would—you must not lowerr yourrself to a brrutish level by rrudely attacking anotherr one of us forr how she chooses to prrotect and cherrish the Austrraeoh." He turned to face Ariel. "Arriel... while therre may orr may not be a dangerr inherrent in Logan's decision, I see no rreason to attack his faculty to deal with prroblems logically. Afterr all, he has weatherred farr morre harrdships than the rrest of us and come out strrongerr and morre tenacious forr it." At last, he turned towards Flynn in the distance. "Flynn... yourr angerr is justified, and I would be lying if I said I did not feel the frrustrration too. But I was also therre when the trrolls attacked us and I cannot see how any otherr option would have saved us... aside frrom the brrash albeit forrtuitous decision that Logan made. Consistently berrating him is not goint to imprrove ourr situation whatsoeverr. We must instead choose to deal with what is ahead... and do so as a team."
"That's just the thing, Keps..." Flynn waved a hoof. "With Seraphimus on the loose, we can't see what lies ahead! Am... am I the only pony who's freaked out about this?"
"I'm freaked out about this," Ariel muttered.
"She is not going to turn on us now," Logan said. "Call it an emotional intuition if you like—but I just feel it in my gut. Besides..." He looked up. "If she wanted to axe Rainbow Dash, she's had the opportunity to do so on many occasions. Hell, she could even do so now!"
Flynn shook his head. "Not with Wildcard by her side."
"Well then—what rreason do we have at prresent to worrry?" Kepler shrugged, forming a hopeful smile. "The Rrainbow One is well prrotected in the Desperrado's carre! Unless Wildcarrd werre to rrandomly show up, pale and brreathless, then we needn't sweat, my frriends!"
Just then, Wildcrad randomly showed up, pale and breathless.
Kepler's scorpion tail went limp. "Buh?"
"Oh shit..." Ariel flapped her wings, teeth clenched. "She went berserk and attacked Rainbow, didn't she?"
Wildcard shook his head. He began to gesture—
"She's got Rainbow prisoner?!?" Flynn gasped.
The Desperado stifled a hissing sound. He tried gesturing again—
Schiiing! Logan stood up, axe held high. "They're being attacked by giant cave lizards!" Bonk! A bo-staff ricocheted off his head. "Ow! Asshole...!"
Kepler sighed. "Perrhaps I should have trried that earrlierr..."
"Just... just tell us what you need to tell us, dude," Flynn said.
Frowning, Wildcard finished signing his anxious announcement.
"Leave... leave the wagon...?" Ariel blinked. "Leave it for what?"
Wildcard motioned after him as he flew backwards up the tunnel.
"I... I don't get it!" Flynn's voice cracked. "What's outside?"
Wildcard gulped... then simply motioned again. He turned tail and flew up the corridor.
The remaining Heraldites exchanged glances.
"What... the hell is this all about...?" Flynn stammered.
"Ach!" Kepler was the first to glide after the griffin. "Therre is simply one way to find out! Let us prroceed!"
"I... got a very bad feeling about this," Ariel said, floating after.
"Hey Keps! Ariel!" Flynn galloped as well. "Wait up!"
"Rnnngh..." Logan rubbed his head, picked up Bard's bo-staff, and lurched up the rear of the group. "...one of these days—I swear—the stupid has got to wear off."
Minutes later...
...Logan caught up with the group.
"Okay... what's so big about this shit?"
There was no response.
Kepler, Ariel, and Flynn had joined Wildcard, Rainbow Dash, and Seraphimus in gawking Curveside. A blue glow glinted across their wide eyes.
"Hmmm? Hello?" Logan limped into the open exit. "What the Hell—?" He froze in place as well. His ears pricked above widely blinking eyes. "Oh. Uh... that's a thing."
Wildcard nodded, whistling limply into the air.
"Uhm..." Ariel's eyebrow twitched. "...what were we arguing about again?"
"Uhhhhhh..." Flynn wheezed. "...panties? I dunno..."
"My starrs and garrterrs..." Someone else said.
What is it?
They really need to work through this thing with Logan, its gonna destroy them if they don't.
I'm still guessing a city of some kind. Or perhaps some huge tower structure.
Dammit Skirts, first post was cliffhanger followed by second cliffhanger. Double the cliffhanger double the funstration!
I'd say most the villains back that way have either already reformed, or unfortunately didn't survive long enough to do so. Either way Dash hasn't left much needing reforming back west, Flynn. Also thinking maybe you're not grasping the nature of the journey as much as you think. Getting Dash to the Armor alive is actually the secondary objective. Getting her there with hers, and your own souls intact, and maybe fixing some of the Dark Side's shit along the way... I'd say that's the main goal. Because pretty sure an emotionally and harmonically gutted walking corpse won't do much to operate the Harmonic Prism, even if it still technically has a heartbeat.
Bloody hell Ariel, I'm all for smart choices. I'm the fucking goddamn champion of thinking things through and making smart decisions and looking for alternate options! But for the love of the powers that be if you're going to make alternate suggestions can they at least make sense? Blow a trench? Big enough to stop hundreds or thousands of things that climb rock!? Alchemical fire!? When or how could Kepler ever make enough to halt an army that size!? I think you guys are just scared of Seraphimus, and are taking that fear out on Logan. Logan might piss me off nine times out of ten, but in this case he did make the smart call. The best call he could make. Geez...
Aaaaaand Kepler comes in with some common sense, can proves he can raise his voice when needed. Good.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we still don't know what the bloody hell everyone is gawking at.
I swear if this isn't like, a freakin' Death Star level big deal I'm going to... be mildly annoyed and pout slightly.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand the count continues.
Seraphimus Solo Quest Chapter Counter: 4
Kepler used Primal Rage!
It's sorta effective...
cliffhanger? twice?
Oh, ha ha.
i am now anjery
with a j
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Wildcard's reaction
Damnit. Why must you continue to lead me along like this!
I now exist.
I'm both terrified of, and excited for, the day that kepler finally lets lose.
Kepler used Roar.
Logan, Ariel and Flynn flinched.
155 chapters in and why do I get the feeling we've only just cleared the prologue to the Darkside arc?
Have something that I think works for the current cliffhanger.
-Through the path long forgotten, into the darkness long begotten. Ofolrodi.
Double cliffhanger combo! Will he go for the triple play?
I don't know why I haven't said it until now, but, inexplicably, I cannot imagine Kepler's voice as anything other than that of Sean Connery.
It's in my head now. It won't go away.
Edit: Upon reflection, I blame Sir Connery's brief role in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves as King Richard... the Lionheart.
My bet is it is ether a great sprawling forest of glowing blue plant life. That or the "Dark side" somehow has its own blue sky, and what they've been going through has been only a penumbra.
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Also, I always hear this guys voice whenever he talks.
cdn-static.denofgeek.com/sites/denofgeek/files/styles/article_width/public/2016/02/john_rhys_davies_sallah.jpg?itok=PcBEv2dM
Both of them were in the same movie, so... Yeah. Practically the same person.
Nope, not really.
You were THERE, right? it was physically impossible to consult her at the time. Time was of the essence and Rainbow Dash was fighting pretty much constantly.
Big Show may be my least favorite member of the Herald but I can't help but find myself defending him in my head through every one of these arguments.
Epic Kepler is Epic.
That has me concerned. Anyone else concerned about that?
8547678 Huh. A BlazBlue reference. Don't see that everyday.
8547648
You know you have messed it up when the calm ones lash out.
Another cliffhanger?!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHY MUST YOU TEASE US SO MUCH?!
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and you're not using a Fluttershy pic for your profile pic.
In all seriousness, I've been playing it a bit again, since Jubei came out as dlc recently.
What IS it???
It's… it's not the Sun, is it? Like, seriously, there's no way that the Princesses figured out how to bring the Sun over to the Dark Side, and that they're staring at the now-blue sky… is there? Because holy hell, wouldn't that be a twist.
Options of what they are looking at:
- A giant white wall with a compromising drawing of Rainbow and Roarke.
- A screen, in wich they see you, yes you, the reader.
- the harmonic prism. It's done. Game over.
-ohboy.
The sirens call made them leave the ship. Hopefully at least one of them will be able to realise just how bad an idea that is, given theyre going to need it to put all the other incapacitated members on it for escape.
A cliffhanger over two chapters, lets hope it isn't over three.
It's a Taco Bell! Hooray!
It's a Samsung store! Turns out the dark side has free WiFi and data and use chaos metal as currency!
Wait! Is that a train system set up to the Holy shrine of peace that united the forces in peace in the center of the land?! This chaos is crazy stuff!
One train luxury trainride later and the book is over.
"Looks like we're getting off this train we're on."
Really?
Ponies don't even have a need for undergarments, nor do any other species they've encountered...
Ya know what, chaos.
No! It's a Blue Man Group concert! What are the odds?!
And it's by and for a crowd of intelligent trolls.
Is it a blue harvest?
Pretty sure that was Kelper.
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Kepler is the Hulk, Austraeoh edition. He will manticore up in the future.
The foreshadowing ordains it to be true.
With the sheer level of flabbergastedness on display, I'm starting to fear some sort of visual cognitohazard is at play.
Of course, it could just be something mundane an shiny producing this reaction, considering how dramatic everyone's being.
8547648
Here's hoping one day, we'll have angry Seraphimus, no-holds-barred Kepler, and chaos-mode Rainbow fighting side-by-side against something, and it's going to be downright glorious.
My guess is that they finally found the citiy of the Spindlers. Meh, light pollution.
Gad damn cliffhangers I swear
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8548073
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Your dialogue is beautiful as always, IC
Someone else... I wonder who.
8547585
Oatfullryedi?
Figures, I just caught up before the last couple chapters and now I have to wait to even figure out what they're staring at. Dang cliffhangers.
As an alternative to Mr. Meeseeks:
Again with the sassy narrator.
Whatever it is, it's awfully distracting. Here's hoping the trolls can't scale the mountain
Hmm... If not bacon... Pie? Oh the fourth flavour!
8553960
What about Pizza? :O
This must've sucked when it first came up.
Kepler can be quite the beast when he needs to be, he knows that. Just as he knows he is much more than a beast. On the whole though it looks like the Herald needs to learn to be optimistic, maybe they can learn to be in this next adventure, whatever it is.
11/26/2017
22:45 UTC
ofolwatch
You know you done fucked up when even Kepler is pissed.
I love it!
"Someone else" said...
You damn tease
Did they get a load of some blue colored moonshine?