"Metals!" Rarity exclaimed with a proud smile. "I'm sensing an abundance of refined metal nearby!" She looked at her anchor with a grin. "The purist and most structurally sound metals since we left Darkreach!"
Rainbow Dash trotted ahead of the Herald, navigating her way through dense streets filled with meandering hunters and dotted with other Dihmers sitting meditatively still. The roads here sloped steeper, so carved lattices made out of stone were facilitated in geometric chunks to allow foundations for the rows of descending buildings. There was too much haze and soot for Rainbow or her friends to gaze Curveside into the adjacent ocean basin.
"Oh yeah?" Rainbow's voice cracked as she trotted casually along. "What about Spindleton?"
"The abandoned city?" Rarity's muzzle scrunched as she fidgeted. "Eh... those buildings were made out of something else entirely."
"Yeah!" Pinkie grinned. "Super metal?"
"Sure, let's run with that." Rainbow trotted around a caravan or two. "But there's metal nearby, you say?"
"Let's say that the foundry just towards Omega isn't built out of rock, darling," Rarity said. "There is reinforced steel running all throughout that building. It's old... and yet it's still quite structurally sound. I suspect it serves a purpose that forces the Dihmers to work outside their comfort zone."
"You really reckon Dihmers built that thang?" Applejack asked.
"You must admit," Twilight remarked. "It doesn't exactly match the rest of the pattern in this town."
"You call this a town?!" Pinkie nearly wretched. "Bleachkkk! I've seen rock houses back home worth their weight in gold compared to these shanty excuses!"
"Pinkie Pie..." Fluttershy chided.
"What?! I said 'shanty'!"
"Let's not be too hard on these ponies," Fluttershy said in a sympathetic tone. "It's quite obvious they've got a great deal more to be concerned with. I'd say they've accomplished a great deal, all things considered."
"Fluttershy, sugarcube, our forebearers were livin' under constant blizzards with windigoes chasin' after them left and right and still they managed to get whole dang castles built!"
"Princess Platinum certainly diiiiid!" Rarity sing-songed.
Applejack rolled her eyes. "Point is... a tough life sure dun seem like no excuse to me." Applejack gazed woefully at the lethargic residents. "Seems like these here ponies simply gave up a long, long time ago. Ever since then... they've settled for—well—nothing, really."
"Except 'stripping,'" Pinkie said.
"Pinkie!" Rarity gasped.
"Hey!" Pinkie shrugged. "It's what the scarred lady back there said!"
"I think that's still up to conjecture," Rarity said.
"Here's a thought..." Twilight Sparkle tapped her chin. "...maybe it's not the Dihmers running the foundry."
"Huh?" Applejack looked at her.
"Fluttershy, didn't you say there were other living things in this town besides Dihmers?"
"Well, yes. I sensed something different. Why?"
"Maybe they're the ones who run the foundry," Twilight said.
Fluttershy nodded. "I... do sense we are getting closer."
"Closer to what?" Pinkie asked.
"Shhhhh!" Rainbow suddenly stopped in her tracks. She pricked her ears to hear beyond the clopping hooves and the constant drum beat.
From a distance, the Herald tried to catch up. Wildcard noticed Rainbow coming to a stop. Flapping his wings, the Desperado glided over and perched at her side. His goggles reflected her figure curiously.
"Listen..." Rainbow's eyes darted back and forth. "...do you hear that?"
Wildcard glanced left. She glanced right. With swift claws, he hand-signed: "Chimes."
"Right. But where from?" Rainbow looked towards opposite ends of the street. "I need your hawkish hawkness right about now."
"Hawks are known for their sight, Rainbow," Twilight corrected.
"I know what I said."
A parrot whistle. Wildcard's metal finger pointed straight forward. Rainbow craned her neck to see...
...a squat flat building with geometrically rigid supports. Unlike the craggy stone huts all around, this particular structure was built out of pale slabs of metal. While still crude, it stood out like a snowy jewel atop a hill of dung. Two things hung from the building's relatively low entrance: a series of brass chimes that jingled in the dirty breeze, and a metallic sign. The sign in particular was a narrow rectangular solid of a snow gray color... and thin red etchings formed what looked to be the emblem of a loose animal pelt.
"It's... a shop?" Rainbow's muzzle twisted. "...in the middle of a location where there's no greed, no ego, and no vanity...?"
"Well, I guess you should be moving on, then," Seraphimus droned, suddenly standing there.
"You found somethin'?" Logan asked, catching up.
"Looks like it belongs to a guild of some sort," Flynn remarked.
"A guild? Arre you surre?" Kepler hobbled up with Ariel, squinting at everything and nothing. "Frrom the sounds of this place, that is most starrtling."
Rainbow shrugged. "Only way to find out what's up." She stepped inside, swiftly followed by Wildcard, Flynn, and Logan. She had to duck her head low, and her ears were still scraping the metal ceiling above. As she entered, her eyes adjusted to a dim amber light that felt like it was coming from an artificial source. The sound of clopping hooves vanished, and against the rumble of bass drum she caught wind of a grimey conversation taking place.
"Screw you, Jacko," slurred someone behind a low, low counter. "You are ruinin' me strips!"
"Campo..." Rainbow caught someone standing before the counter. He was standing on two legs—a biped. "I—" The creature noticed Rainbow in his peripheral. Long, flaring ears pricked higher as he shuffled sideways and stood closer to the proprietor. "I just wanted to say stop throwin' garbage on my lawn, aye?!"
Rainbow blinked. Her ghostly companions hung stupid and slack-jawed.
"Hah!" The proprietor folded his arms behind a brown leather vest. Beneath an angled skull with a pointed jaw-and-chin, a gray strip of metal hung from a necklace that resembled the store sign outside. "You suck, Jacko!"
"Are you even hearin' a word I say?"
"Yes!" Campo scratched the stubble across his dull-green flesh. "Where else should I put me garbage?"
Jacko sighed. A metal rectangle hung off his necklace with claws illustrated in thin red lines. After face-palming, he growled towards the creature across the counter. "Anywhere but me lawn! Considerin' I live—what—twelve miles away?!"
"Beggahs can't be choosahs, ya drongo." Campo snorted. "You're a Tail-Blood! Youse ret bestards specialize in the shitty parts of the beasts, aye? Thet's why youse camped out dan in the lowah bubbles. We Fur-Bloodahs get to deal with the clientele. Can't be havin' this place smell up to high hog's Hell when I'm passin' out me strips, righ?"
"The Dihmas already smell like piss."
"Still no excuse for breakin' the code!" Campo's eyes glinted in the amberlight. "It's written in the metal, ya reckon? Or do we gotta take it up with Avril?"
"Rgggh... just like a Fur-Bloodah!" Jacko moaned. "Always muckin' about 'til an argument doesn't go your way and then you bring up Avril!"
"Some of us gotta stick to the code, ya bludgiah!"
"Where in the code does it say youse gotta throw heaps of garbage on me lawn?"
"The best part!" Campo smirked. "The part that says Tail-Bloodahs are all a bunch of shit-suckin' yobbos!"
"Lick me ears, ya fet prick!"
"Hahahaha!"
Logan, Flynn, and Wildcard stared blankly at the scene.
"Okaaaay..." Logan blinked at the small, wiery creatures. Their ears—much less their heads—appeared a good quarter of their body size. "...I see the puppets," he murmured. "But I don't see the hooves up their asses."
Flynn wheezed, "Hey... at least they're not eight-legged."
Wildcard gestured something.
Flynn clenched his jaw. "Hey—unlike fatso—I was trying to be polite."
"What..." Rarity grimaced, inching her ghostly body away from the exotic specimens. "...what in Celestia's name are they?"
"They're goblins," Rainbow Dash's voice burst. Her muzzle was caught between wanting to smile and grimace. "Luna on a bicycle... there really are goblins in here!"
Campo glanced at her and waved a four-fingered hand dismissively. "Hold on a bit, sheila, I'll get to ya—" The bipedal creature did a double-take, his ears wobbling. A pair of yellow eyes fixated on the petite pegasus. "Bloody Hell!" He laughed through a confused grin, pointing with a grubby fingernail. "Get a load of the cesspool yawn on that bird!"
Jacko glanced aside—then pulled at his ears. "Sweet meats!"
"Last time I saw thet many colahs I was watchin' some huntahs gut a core wyrm of it's ribbons!"
Jacko cocked his gray head aside. "What kind of a Dihmah are ya, love?"
Rainbow Dash glanced down at him. "Uhhhhhhh... I'm not a Dihmer. Trust me." The edge of her mouth curved. "Too awesome to be that emo."
"But you are emo from time to t—" Flynn began, only to receive a tail-slap to the muzzle.
"Anyways..." Rainbow trotted closer to the counter. The thing was so low she could easily step over it. "You seem to be the only dudes who talk sense around here. I was wondering if you could—"
"Oi!" Campo hollered towards the back room of the cramped place. "Jiro! Byno! Get your asses in here! Get a load of this craz-o!"
Two more imps with green skin hobbled in. They wore leather aprons splattered with various juices and oils. As soon as they saw Rainbow and her mane, their eyes lit up and they gasped with wobbling ears.
"Ace!"
"Petra's flame!"
"Don't it look like wyrm ribbons all tied up on her bucket?!" Campo winked, the pointed at Rainbow again. "Youse should listen to her talk like a gobb-o too! Oi! Say somethin'!"
"I'm not here to be anybody's pet monkey," Rainbow growled. A sigh. "I just want some information—"
"Well, that'll cost ya, sheila. Unless you've lost yourself from the wasteland beyond them shard-os Curveside, reckon you should know a thing or two about strips. Ain't that right, Jacko?"
"Hey..." Jacko held two palms out, stepping back. "Peddlin' is for Fur-Bloodah. You go ahead and weave your change-o buttah."
"Hahahaha—!"
"Uhm..." Rainbow squinted. "What are strips?"
"'What are strips?!?'" Campo looked at Jiro and Dyno as the three goblins laughed heartily. "You spat out yesterday, love? I'm a tradie!"
"Tradie?"
"Yeah... y'know..." Campo gestured. "Tradie! Trades gobb-o!"
"All Fur-Bloodahs are in the strippin' business, love," Jiro said.
Dyno gestured. "Youse bring in the meats and we give you the strips!"
"'It provides. It strips. It collects.'" Campo rolled his palm, winking. "Tale as old as time, Dihmah—"
"I said..." Rainbow's brow furrowed. "I'm not a Dihmer. In case you haven't noticed by now, I'm not from around here. None of us are!"
"Hah! And Avril ain't the Metal Mum!" Campo stuck a bifurcated tongue out and waved his hand. "If ya can't strip then go out and hunt to provide, ya failure!"
"Failure?"
"Yeah! It fails! That's where ya heart went, didn't it?! Dan into the cracks? The head—though—that dunked itself right in the cesspool, aye?! Hahaha!"
"Hahahahaha!" The other goblins laughed, including Jacko this time.
Rainbow groaned.
Quietly, Wildcard stepped forward and—CLANK—slapped his metal palm down against the countertop before the imps.
"Hahahahaha—" The Fur-Blooders' laughter stopped. Campo's eyes narrowed while Jiro and Dyno wheezed their entire lungs' worth, mesmerized by the intricate limb.
Wildcard raised an eyecrest.
Rainbow glanced at him, then at the goblins.
"By Petra's flame..." Jacko wandered over and ran a shaky hand over the Desperado's forelimb. "That metal work is sweet, as."
"Beats out any of the ancient rubbish I've seen!" Dyno squeaked.
"Where... how..." Jiro was at a loss for words.
"Youse..." Campo studied Rainbow across the counter. "...youse really ain't Dihmas, are ya?"
"You like trading?" Rainbow crept up next to Wildcard and grinned at the imps. "How about my information for yours...?"
I'm really glad there are other characters now who talks sense (for us readers).
And now, let the trade commence!
I like the Dihmers.
I'm slightly ashamed that it took me until the early part of this chapter to piece together that it was goblins.
I'm rather pleased(?) though, that I understood the reference(s) in Jacko and Campo's initial conversation.
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* Christ, I watched those vids way too damn much...
Half Aussie, HAF ORKY, BUT DEEZ ARE SMOL GROTS. GIT YERSELF READY FER A WAAAGH!
I wonder what the Dihmer use the metal for?
I think I'm gonna like these guys.
...I'm not sure if I should keep laughing or feel mildly insulted.
I think I'll go with the former.
That title pun though.
-Through the path long forgotten, into the darkness long begotten. Ofolrodi.
Ayyyy we met the gobs. Still don't know what they're doing in a place like this... It's not like the Dihmers need their metal strips, as far as I can tell
I'm I the only one curious about the Metal Mum? I will defy all logic and sense in assuming it's Roarke. As I will forevermore, all new characters are assumed to be Roarke until proven otherwise.
Interesting that they didn't react to the Griffons at all. Dubya's arm, sure, but not him. Could say the same about keps, but he may just be out of sight. On the upside, gobs may know how to work glass. Should probably stock up on spares if they get the chance, just in case.
Better than a mire monster: Junker Goblins!
Finally caught back up. What a turn of events.
As an Aussie I approve, but the lingo is a little rough around the edges. Not enough contractions, not enough swears.
Well, about time for some answers I think.
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CHIKKN NI A BAAZZKIT!!!
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"Heeeyyyyyyy, wait a minute! This isn't a base at all! You just built a bunch of corporate logos!"
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Don't worry, blowing up is GOOD for you!
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Metal mum?
Roarke returns and I seriously check my phone for story updates every few minutes, every day until they're snuggling in a hammock to my contentment.
Happy that there's some people who are easier to understand. Maybe they'll be able to teach the Herald dihmer language.
Bloody hell
I'm Australian.
Fantastic.
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Maybe, maybe, these goblins came from the Light Side before Rainbow somehow, or they have some form of communication with the other group of goblins, or Roarke found the elevator in Luna’s closet, or maybe none of those things and the Metal Mum is just someone else.
My money’s on the elevator, personally.
This chapter proves that it takes less than two thousand words to introduce four new characters, a new location as well as a caste system with a codex and a currency based economy to the Dark Side.
Irish/Aussie goblins! Yay I guess.
You could say they come from the land down under
As we say in the hood
This is how low you have steeped, saying that to a goblin.
Their language should be at least twice as colourful as Rainbow's bangs.
Hooray for non-ponies. Always great for getting attention when everyone here only knows sentient ponies. And goblins too apparently
Wildcard:Thats not a knife:Slams metal arm with talons down:Thats a knife.
Anyone for coffee and biscuits?
What, you want tea and crumpet here?
Rainbow should already know what a strip is, she encountered some in Val Roa. The actual units might be different, but the concept remains the same.
That said, it is nice to have someone willing to talk in complete sentences. And more importantly, willing to listen, even if it takes some convincing.
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Where blood glows and batponies plunder
Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder
You better run, you better take cover
Finally, new, talkative creatures!
This chapter is a breath of fresh air and Holy Harmony was I shocked to suddenly see so much talking.
I LOVE TEH LI'L ONES!
Dies of exposure to crazy Australian Vikings... or was that the Scotts?
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Perhaps "Holy Harmony" should become the next swear word in the series
Aussies and Kiwis! Sweet as bru!
Kinda read some of this in a pirate accent though with those references to "the code".
Also, Verlaxion's Sleet is now Petra's Flame.
Gobbos! Sweet!
Are you goin' to Austraeoh Fair?
Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme…
A shop? At this time of day, at this time of year, in this part of the Dark Side, localized entirely within a Dihmer village?
Holy crap I'm late.
Thanks to IC for including my name, this was an awsome surprise.
Wonder how far this group of goblins will go.
Edit: Read through this chapter again after the initial excitement of seeing my name,
I reckon my profile pic best describes my face right there.
Haha the Aussie gobbos killed me, love it
Scotch Aussie goblins? Well bust me gob
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Remember, the Scotts are just descendants of Australian Vikings. I have cracked the code.
1) Areee you cominnnng to Austraeoh fair
2) Ayyyy its Petra
3) Wildcard asked for this
*shiiing*
All joking aside it's nice there's someone around here Dash and company can actually have a conversation with.
Seraphimus x Logan Ship Confirmation Chapter Counter: 47
This seems significant.
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As well as a new dialect.
Aussie imps. I love it.
Actually I feel like these guys are the most straightforward bunch this side of the firmaments. I could almost live there.
🎵Are you going to Austraeoh fair🎶
Sorry, just had to. Also, Strips seems to be a running currency with you, Skirts. All the way from that Tartarus story of yours.
I like goblins.
Just how small are goblins?
Honestly they should have realized that once they heard complete sentences. But given how long they have only had the 'company' of the Dihmers, I can forgive them. Hope they can be reasonable.
11/20/2019
03:23 UTC
Huh...a steel building, well let’s how they’ll deal with more Dihme—-
ENTER AUSSIE!
Anyway, did not expect to see Goblins and more or less any normal-talking folk so soon...
Now I know where the Dihmers got their lingo words from.