Sweet Sauce didn't have very long to wait for the family-to-be to arrive in the office. Minutes really, and the door rang with the sound of their arrival.
He hadn't left the downstairs office—it wasn't like there was anything waiting for him anywhere else. He needed to judge these ponies, see which one would be most likely to be sympathetic. Or gullible.
They looked much as they did in the photograph—a white mare with a crisp blue mane and a pair of deep red glasses on her head. A proper unicorn too, which might make her more useful, or potentially just more dangerous to anything Sweet might be planning. How good was Equestrian magical education for those who weren't foals?
But then he got a closer look at her partner, and his stomach turned just a little. It wasn't just a trick of the angle used in her application photo. This was an earth pony.
Strange that she was the more elegant and refined of the two of them, carrying herself with a properly dignified step and a constant air of control. Yet still Sweet Sauce felt confused, and maybe a little sick.
It wasn't that they were both mares—they were from different tribes. Was this unicorn so desperate for a partner that she was willing to look for them among common ponies?
Deep breaths. Equestria has changed, but it's still home. You can use this. Sweet sat up, doing his best impression of a frightened, nervous child. He remained in his seat, watching fearfully but not saying anything.
He remained quiet as they spoke briefly with Honeydew, before all three turned towards him. The visiting mares were at least graceful enough to pretend to notice him just then.
"Sweet Sauce, this is the family I told you about," Honeydew said, as gently as ever. "They're here to meet you, like we discussed."
He nodded, though he didn't move from his chair, watching them approach. What could he learn about these ponies, if he kept quiet? What could he use?
"It's a pleasure to meet you," said the earth pony. She spoke with a familiar accent, though there were subtle differences that years had made. But from that mane style to her decorum, she could easily be one of Celestia's favored castle staff.
Except that she was an earth pony. The other mare only then removed her glasses. She grinned stupidly at him, and never quite stopped moving. Her hooves tapped to the beat of a song that only she could hear.
"We've heard you got into some trouble," said the other. The unicorn sounded just like the average pony around town. If anything, her accent was aggressively common.
This doesn't make sense!
"That's awesome! So long as you know when it's okay to make a little trouble, and when it's not. That's the hard part."
Honeydew's eyebrows went up, though she pretended not to notice.
"Oh, where are my manors?" The earth pony straightened, extending one hoof towards him. "I'm Octavia Melody, and my wife here is Vinyl Scratch. We're your... or I guess you would properly say that we might be your new foster parents."
He took the offered hoof by reflex. Some gestures hadn't changed much in... however long he'd been gone. Though hearing such clear language coming from an earth pony felt like it might make his brain crack in half.
"Nice to, uh... nice to meet you too," he squeaked. Did he sound nervous enough? Maybe he should grovel a little more, really sell it. "I'm lost. My parents are gone. It's all very confusing."
That worked—the mares shared a look. Sympathy. Perfect.
"I'm going to get some snacks," Honeydew said, turning to leave. Not towards the fridge hidden under her desk, but the stairs. "Why don't you talk for a few minutes? I'll be back."
You want to check how well we get along, Sweet thought. And that was just fine with him. He could play along. If he was going to be trapped in a body this small and useless, he might as well let being pathetic work to his advantage.
"So, uh... what do you do?" he asked. That was innocuous enough, right? As Honeydew vanished up the stairs, he should be more free to ask what he really wanted to know. These ponies wouldn't have a clue.
"Music!" Vinyl exclaimed, sliding her heavy glasses into place. "Octavia is in the orchestra, she plays the stuff that makes you think. Not me, though. I like to make the whole house shake! I want it so loud, the royal guard get complaints about how noisy we were! I want my neighbors to hear it through the floor and come down to join the party!"
And from how loud you talk, you've done it so long you're suffering hearing loss. Yet that didn't make sense—Vinyl was a unicorn, so shouldn't she just heal herself?
Why was he smiling? "I didn't think Equestria had music like that."
"It's new!" Vinyl exclaimed, bouncing right over to the chair and grinning down at him. "Just you wait until you hear it. You'll be completely blown away."
"But that isn't why we’re volunteering to help you," Octavia added, following just behind her. "My wife is enthusiastic about her career, and I support everything she's accomplished there. But we have no expectations you'll share that enthusiasm. This is about providing you with somewhere safe. Until they find your parents, or... are unable to do so. Either way, everypony deserves comfort and safety at home. Don't you agree?"
He laughed bitterly. "I don't know what deserves means. Where I came from, my parents were harsh. Their expectations were astronomical—and why expect anything from me when they already had perfect daughters? I grew up expecting nothing, and nothing is what I received."
"Grew up," Octavia repeated, sounding slightly confused. "There's still some time for that, I suspect. Perhaps we'll be able to provide something better."
It wouldn't be hard.
They spoke for some time more. It couldn't have been more than an hour, though it was far longer than a trip for snacks. Could Honeydew really expect that even a foal would believe what she said?
Eventually she did return, inviting Sweet Sauce upstairs to enjoy the meal she'd prepared for him. "I need to speak with Miss Octavia and Vinyl for a few minutes, sweetheart. It won't take long, I promise."
He nodded, slinking back up the stairs the way he came. He did stop in the doorway long enough to wave back at them one last time, before leaving them behind.
Honeydew hadn't spent much time preparing the meal that waited for him. More plain porridge and a box of juice. Hardly the rations of a king. But it was something. Equestria cared enough about the smallest and most defenseless creatures that it wanted to make sure they were taken care of.
He picked at it, not terribly interested in more slop. One of the other advantages of being so small, he could go longer with less. Mostly he was listening, straining to hear anything that might hint at what the adults were saying below.
Would this plan work? Could he steal a train ticket from these mares? What had happened to Equestrian music in the years since he left? Maybe he could find something to replace the MP3 player that had tragically burned in his crossing.
Sweet would never have admitted it, but as he waited, he began to realize that he wanted them to say yes. He could trick another family, maybe even easier than this one. But he wouldn't find a pair of ponies who were both in musical careers.
But that unicorn married an earth pony. It's wrong. His memories told him so, told him that even Celestia would've been outraged at such an indignity. How else could the tribes keep their customs and cultures intact, if creatures didn’t respect the boundaries between them?
But when he tried to muster the disgust, it just wouldn't come. Those ponies certainly seemed to care for each other—they were united in their interests, and in their desire to help him. Beyond that, the physical side of it all currently alluded him. That was the price of reincarnation—some parts of his understanding didn't follow between bodies.
Finally there was a knock at the door, and Honeydew stepped inside. She shut it smoothly behind her, and nearly smacked into him. "Oh, Sweet Sauce! You didn't touch your food."
He didn't react, barely even looked at the food. "What's happening? Did they like me?"
Honeydew hesitated. "Even if they did, that isn't the first question I care about. I need to know if they're going to be a good match for you. Families that arise naturally in Equestria can often clash, making each other’s lives more challenging. When we build them from scratch, we try to make sure that won't happen, if we can."
Can't seem too eager. She's still suspicious. He sat down on his haunches, even though it made him feel smaller and more vulnerable than he already was. "They seemed nice," he said. "Plus, they like music. Music I didn't think this world even had."
"Is that something you care about?" Honeydew asked. "That didn't come up in any of our conversations."
"Uh... yeah?" He looked away, hoping she wouldn't see his expression too closely. "I mean, it's not... it doesn't matter that much. It's just something I like." Some years it felt like the only thing I had in common with the aliens of that distant hell. They felt some of the same things, and put it all in song more raw and honestly than any harpsichord.
She stared for another few seconds, then produced the clipboard from over her shoulder. "The couple are willing to sign off on your temporary stay as a foster foal. If I sign this, you'll be out of my care—you'll go with them, and live with them for the foreseeable future. Maybe a little while, until your parents are found. Possibly until you grow up and go out on your own. Or until you discover that you aren't good for each other, and you're assigned to some other pony. Any of those is possible."
"I know," he said. "Except for the first one. You'll never find my real parents, I promise. If you find ponies who claim they are, they're lying for some nefarious purpose. I would show you the grave..."
He choked up abruptly, falling silent. He couldn't show the grave, not anymore. It was behind the old castle, and was probably overgrown like the rest. But that didn't hurt so bad. There were never any bodies in there anyway.
"I'm going to sign this," Honeydew finally said, scratching something onto the form. "You don't have any personal effects, so... that about does it." She dropped down, lowering her voice. "Make sure you behave well, Sweet Sauce. If you want to keep living there, you need to treat their home like a guest. Be respectful, and never do anything you wouldn't have done at your old home."
He had to choke back a laugh at that last one. If only you knew what that meant.
He followed her back down the stairs. Vinyl and Octavia waited near the door, both grinning at him. Well, Vinyl was grinning, glasses propped up on her forehead again. Octavia didn't seem to experience emotions quite so strongly, and she only smiled politely in his direction.
"I think you'll enjoy staying with us, Sweet Sauce," she said. "Vinyl and I might have a bit of an... unconventional household. But that's one of the lessons I learned from her. Sometimes it's the unexpected that gives us the greatest opportunity for personal growth."
He stopped just in front of them, matching their grin. "Then I know I'm going to like it there. I need a little of the unexpected to... stay young?”
Stars above, thought Sweet Sauce. She has so many houses -- no, entire MANORS! -- that she doesn't know where all of them are. How rich is she?
interesting potrayl of vinyl being politely mannered, its rare to see
Well looks like his pre-equestrian old bigotry is out in full force, and is really going to have to come to terms with it. I wonder if he will try to to join or befriend a pony who still hold true to these views and see what his belief are just prejudice base around ignorance ignorance, or worst he could create a whole movement to reignite those tensions.
11260087
I mean, she may not be. This WAS an important moment where her misbehaving would be a very bad thing and earn the wrath of her missus.
11260112
sure, i just mean, she mostly has that cool talk, like "don't sweat it, kid," rarely seen talking normally like that
You said it yourself, Sweet. Equestria changed. Castle Everfree has fallen. Discord walks free among the sane. Discard every assumption you had, because they no longer apply.
Interesting note about his parents. I imagine Celestia and Luna might have more to add there.
I feel like this will be the theme of the entire story. As noted above, Sweet's has and will continue to face a lot of the unexpected. We'll see how he deals with it all.
11260103
I'm hoping and praying that Octavia will swiftly disabuse him of the notion that Earth Ponies are inferior.
You might mean "eluded".
This story is written in perhaps one of the weirdest and most vaguely uncomfortable ways I’ve ever read in terms of description, style and prose. And there are many reasons why it makes me feel that way. First being the plastic way the ponies Sweet engages with act. They don’t question his strangeness, his utterly foreign way of expressing emotions and concepts. They essentially blink stupidly and then drop whatever it is he’s said or done from their minds and treat him as a…. as a thing really. Like he’s not a foal but an object they need to ferry around.
They also don’t seem to have any weight in the plot, they’re just there to move Sweet from Scene A to Scene B and it feels like they’re put on a shelf or something until they’re needed again. There’s no startled glances to each other, no description of them physically reacting to Sweets, and nothing more then a “they talked with each other” description of them interacting with each other. It feels like they’re only there for him to see, and they don’t exist outside of his field of view, and when in it, only the smallest amount of writing to show they’re even there.
There’s also no real sense of things happening off screen. As if the world is on pause because there’s no suggestion of anything being set into motion or happening in the background. An example being the utter lack of Dinky or Pips being brought up at all once they’re removed (put on a shelf).
Why did Honeydew not once question Sweets as to what the hell were they all doing in the Forest? When and where did he meet them? Why did he decide to take them into the Forest and why did they agree? Why does it seem like what happened in the prior chapters doesn’t effect what's happening now? It simply doesn’t feel connected. Like you could remove the rescue and teleportation back to the castle and just set Sweets in the Childrens Service office and it would read and feel the same. And when Vinyl and Octavia appeared it felt like more of the plastic pony syndrome, as if they were reading from a script when they engaged with Sweets.
In fact the best way I can describe the feeling this story gives me is that of a script. A series of scenes stitched together with slightly more verbose description, but not one that’s meant to be read as a story, rather told to you. It pretty much reads like someone is telling a group of actors their scenes in past tense instead of present.
Here’s what I mean by that, from just a random paragraph.
Present Tense: Being told/read to.
(The Alicorn is soft purple, with darker shades swirling in her mane streaked with pink. She takes a few steps towards him. But she doesn’t raise a weapon, and her horn doesn’t begin to glow with protective magic. “Nopony has lived here for almost a thousand years,” she says, like a teacher instructing him in something he ought to know. “Most ponies don’t even remember the Castle of the Two Sisters used to be the capital. Did Miss Cheerilee not teach you that?” )
Past Tense: What it is.
(The Alicorn was soft purple, with darker shades swirling in her mane streaked with pink. She took a few steps towards him. But she didn’t raise a weapon, and her horn didn’t begin to glow with protective magic. “Nopony has lived here for almost a thousand years,” she said, like a teacher instructing him in something he ought to know. “Most ponies don’t even remember the Castle of the Two Sisters used to be the capital. Did Miss Cheerilee not teach you that?” )
Its just reads so peculiar. And it only strengthens when I reread sections of it. By no means am I saying its bad. Just strange worded and written. Like a touched up script rather then actual prose based story telling.
To illustrate further, here’s a more “”descriptive”” rewritten example.
(The Alicorn before him was a soft purple, with darker shades swirling in a mane streaked with pink. He watched her take a few steps towards him, but she didn’t raise a weapon, and her horn didn’t begin to glow with protective magic. “Nopony has lived here for almost a thousand years,” she told him, head tilted quizzically, like a teacher instructing him in something he ought to know. “Most ponies don’t even remember the Castle of the Two Sisters used to be the capital. Did Miss Cheerilee not teach you that?”)
It reads as less of “here’s what what’s in front of him” and more of “here’s what he sees”.
In the unedited version, it reads like someone is sitting in front of me flatly describing the scene. In the edited version it reads(to me at least) like I’m watching it for myself without a narrator.
Does that make sense? Does anything I’ve vomited out make sense?
I’m not dissing the work done or the story, I’m just… trying(and failing?) to convey the way the style and prose is making me feel. And I don’t intend anything other that, but dammit, its hard to put into words.
Janky
Oh the culture shock these two are going to give him
11260671
Maybe it’s being done on purpose?
I dunno, I love the idea but I this story is just super weird.
Did he retain his way of talking and outlook while on the other side? Sometimes yea, but then we’re reminded that it was modern times on the other side.
It’s like watching a car wreck. I wanna know how it ends.
This story is getting side character is a deer v1 levels of not fun to read. I mean it's just the characters are just odd and the interactions odder. Surprised sweet sauce is like this even though he was in the human world for who knows how long and from our Era none the less. Also the fact he's a royal and yet does not know manners is even stranger considering thier entire shtick is political maneuvering.
Speaking of his siblings, I'm curious of what he did to be banished with no time limit. Also, Celestia was willing to wait a millenia for Luna, I don't know if Sweet Sauce ever crosses her mind, Sweet Sauce thinks not. We'll see then.
For now, I'm looking forward for Sweet Sauce to at least have another parent that I guarantee will allow him to have a normal childhood, one that didn't have a bar so high to achieve.
You know i found sweet's distain for eath ponies funny. But i draw the line at Tavi. Shes too good for this world to be berated like this.
Ok I got to ask when will he get to Luna and Celly? I get the picture that they are his older sisters, but they are not the ones who banished him. Who was the one to banish him?
11260671
Pretty much this. Anyone who interacts with Sweet just gets this case of alien brain worms and ignores everything weird about him, up to and including the foals who almost died. Like there's a reason we have an entire genre of horror around children doing unchildlike things -- that shit is a smart bomb to our lizard brains, and probably the most instant and universal one that doesn't involve body parts going missing or sprouting where they shouldn't. It's a really lazy way to drive the plot to just have nobody notice/care that this kid is extremely obviously not acting or talking anything like a kid, particularly one who goddamn works in child services.
And it feels even worse because it's totally unnecessary. Letting alarm bells go off for everyone around him wouldn't even change the plot. His presence still demands roughly the same immediate response while they figure out how deep the Ponyville Tuesday is gonna go this time. It'd end up hitting the same beats, and the only change is that the other characters along the way wouldn't be these uncanny cardboard cutouts who ignore anything inconvenient for the sake of drama even though smart characters can have better drama anyway.
You got that right, buddy.
11260186
You talk like they're no inferior
I like how Sweet Sauce combines Machiavellian intrigue with an adorable naivete about everything around him.