--Undergoing a rewrite, nothing major, just quality and two minor aesthetic details in the story. Still readable!-- This is also Not a madverse story
It is now distantly into mankind's future. Our destiny has led us into the starry beyond, and worlds uncounted.
Fate has a funny way of forcing itself onto others; it gives you a choice, but in the end, did you ever really choose? Our fates become intertwined with one little planet in particular. We take from it something unforgivable.
Our heroes and heroines now fight mystery with magic and seek answers from a world and people far beyond their comprehension. They seek their home. Can they get there? Can they survive the journey they must make? Perhaps most importantly, will who they are survive?
Simply put the story is a sci fi epic. I intend to tell a fantastic tale of hope, friendship, big meaty energy weapons and bigger stompy war machines. Also ponies. LOTS of ponies. As well as some societal and moral complications. The ponies, essentially, get abducted and fight to get free and home while preserving who they are, both against humanity and with the help of people.
Not so simply put this story is one of moral ambiguity, the details of the sociological and technological advancement of a human race which defeats death itself. As well as their voyage through the stars on an endless pilgrimage. Our fates become tied with Equestria's to a degree, and we take from them something unforgivable.
As an additional warning this story contains magical mustaches and dubious use of magic and technology in general! Talk to your doctor before reading.
-Also cover art by Redge, props to that awesomeness. Redge.
Aviators - Far From Me
This fits Olts to a T.
one more to add to Read Later? sure, why not. (writing a story for Peregrine Caged right now, which is the only reason why I'm not reading it right this second. it does look intriguing.)
1881162
Aw thanks CG, that means a lot comin' from you.
I'll give you the vip down low on the story if you ever get overly curious. By the by any suggestions on posting rates? I have chapters finished quite into the story I'm just unsure of how many cards to throw on the table right away.
1881217
I'd do at least a day or two in between chapter posting. Give 'em enough time to read one chapter and give their thoughts on it before throwing another one at them. Ponies get overwhelmed a bit easily, you know. Except Applejack. She's a bit more resilient than most.
1881229
Haha suuure sure, never mind that Twilight's the one who marathons entire encyclopedias.
I'd like to assert that Twilight is our star right now as well, not your so called best pony. 
Doth thou I should wait a week or so for folks to take notice?
1881255
more like three or four days. good thing for you to do would be to find a few sci-fi themed groups here on the site, join them and submit your story to them. that'll ensure you get a bigger audience than just your regular watchers and maybe a random passerpony or two.
also, what's wrong with Derpy?
A story that made me go 'Hmm.'
Prediction engine states that Twilight will save Max.
I don't get what that picture refers to though.
Also "Cynthia grinned again at a thought. 'That Mechgineer, Skrikes, he probably let his specimen go himself just to test the specimen"
Is incredibly clunky. I'd have gone with either "Let his little experiment go..." or "Just to test it/The damn thing"
Fav'd anyway.
1881305
Thanks!
I rewrote that line like 8 times too haha. Guess I botched it, fixed.
1881266
Hoho, touche, I love Derpy the most too....
"YES WHO IS-?" *cough* "I mean, yes who is it? Tia?"
Don't do this, don't use asterisks to denote actions by a character, instead, the previous sentence could have been something like this:
"YES WHO IS-" She coughed, lowering the volume of her voice, "I mean, yes who is it? Tia?"
Yah doesn't look all that great does it? But, asterisks are nice for keeping things shorter and less distracting, lengthy exposition can hurt or detract from the emotions you're trying to communicate after all.
I'm fiddling with how in depth I want to describe things or expose rather then simply say them. I may be trying to streamline to much.
Looks...nice.
Also I bet that we will never hear about Max again and Twilight will be turned into a cyborg and help Humanity defeat the ponies right?
Right?
1891489
Haha, cease your speculation and stick around, I shall reveal all.
*About to rant how we are not evil*
Oh okay
DAMNIT...
I will still follow this story.
I have to.
However one day, I will sneakyli stop following this story.
And nobody will notice. So brilliant.
The reason I still follow this is because as a critic, I have to give everything a chance to surprise me.
Well, as much as I enjoy the 'power' of the humans in this story I feel like we would be above experimenting on humans if we've gone this far as a civilization. Not to mention I doubt we would still be using primitive technology like a touch pad. Thumb'd up
1898160
I'll spoiler a little bit here for your astuteness. (A little worried that the touchpad stuck out but not the windows 95 screensaver honestly) It's not so much primitive as the type of technology in tandem with the society. Maybe we have the tech but well it's high maintenance, or expensive? We are advanced beyond measure in some ways, maybe? But perhaps aren't capable of making thought powered doom engines and time travel. In fact outside Twilight's magic you'll find a lot of cool things to do with energy aren't considered even possible.
As for experimenting, you'll see where it's going, hopefully it'll make sense more later on. The idea as of now is to leave you all wondering, and to learn with Twilight and the others. in fact I'm going to put that into the author's note right now maybe that'll stave off any hate I might generate from being confusing on purpose....
1898127
I think you'll be surprised man, I don't want a story about some cool OC humans, believe me I could do it all too easily, but most people here, want to read about ponies? go figure right? Don't worry though this story's going to turn into fun for the whole family (cast) pretty quick. And then it'll just be an unstoppable fireball falling down a fun filled party pony powered steam stomping star run wrecking ball of awesome careening down the ephemeral mountainside of your LIFE.... SON!
Also Doctor Whooves is your favorite character, what? And Venom is your favorite too!? Dang you're in luck with my story. I'm kidding of course had you goin' there didn't I? haha
Great story so far. Poor Twilight.
And yes Human are Bastards. Read any books on sociology or psychology and it becomes apparent. Your average person's view is, Look out for self, look out for immediate family, look out for friends, look out for community, then on-wards towards town/city, state, government, planet, etc. The order of the lower tier interests may vary somewhat, and you get exceptional people who put the whole before themselves, but most people just want to feel safe and secure in their little communities. That is what allows the real Bastards to take over with promises or threats to personal safety and environment. A civilization like above wouldn't happen unless the common people allowed it. It has happened before in human history several times and it is on the verge of happening again. We let people in positions of "power" tell us that we need to give up certain things to keep us safe.
Is it any wonder why so many of us like ponies? They're better than us.
1898630
John my friend so good to see you! AND YES, you my sir, 'get it' and by 'it' I mean cake, or boose whatever's your cup of tea, heck you can have the tea too. Really though the comment about them not being bastards is to fend off the trope seekers. I feel they'll still enjoy it anyway so a white lie never hurts, anyway they just don't know it.
1898630 They're better than us? My nukes disagree...
1899491
You don't have any nukes, Celestia has a sun though.
1898630
This is the reasons why humans aren't bastards:
img.gawkerassets.com/img/181iyknddanu4jpg/xlarge.jpg
n-tv.de/img/incoming/origs3133601/6402733028-w1000-h960/nutella.jpg
static.guim.co.uk/sys-images/Politics/Pix/pictures/2012/11/12/1352735696924/Nutella-on-bread-010.jpg
Do you see ponies eating Nutella? Hm? HMMMM?!?!?!?!?
1900698
I wonder... is chocolate bad for horses? And yes, I see Pinkie eating many things that she probably shouldn't.
1900698
I don't like Nutella. I like this mocha spread, though, that tastes nothing of the hazelnut it uses.
So...when will Twilight be assimilated/terminated? Also stop making us look like idiots.
Unless they are on some strange mental asylum.
I won't anything, some characters act certain ways because that. is. their character. Suspension of disbelief is a funny thing, but I've never considered personality traits to be SoD breaking.
I could have had Twilight simply evade them but that wouldn't have been fun to write at all.
You know one of the biggest problems with this story, and this is just my opinion, is that you treat humans as scenery. At the risk being called captain obvious, Humans are not trees. We do not just sit still until someone moves us. This would be like treating Spock as though he were part of the wall. I'm not asking for a dynamic human character the likes rarely seen outside of epics, but I would ask that you at least have some dimension.
1922093
Excellent, everything is going according to plan then. ^^ Honestly that's exactly what I stated in the author's note and intended. It will change as the story progresses. (I mean, wait, no it won't *shifty eyes* But the feeling of detachment from the humans as an alien influence in the story is precisely the feeling I wanted to evoke. You aren't supposed to like it, or them.
Also pay no attention to FS he's a heckler. As for dynamic so far we've encounter a fat security guard a madman, a mad woman, a mad scientist and two mercenaries, are these really the upstanding examples of humanity you'd want me to flesh out? The entire point again is that Twilight isn't getting lucky with who she's run into. Now stp trying to tease spoilers out of me and read darn you.
Very interesting! I am excited to see where this goes, hopefully somewhere awesome
What I find most amusing about the Neighsayers is that if you had made the humans bug eyed greys, or cold blooded lizard men, they probably wouldn't have batted an eye.
Being new to this genre, I'm not sure how the whole 'humans are evil' thing started but I've been seeing it in other genres going back as far as I can remember. Heck even in Lord of the Rings, one of the earliest examples of modern 'high' fantasy. The Humans were bad because they were driving off the elves etc.
If it makes some of you feel better just think of them as human shaped but they're from another planet called Dirt.
EDIT:
Also, this story doesn't seem to be about humans. It's a story about Twilight Sparkle.
1948647
I really don't want the focus to be on how unfair I am to humans especially just from comments. Still while not COMPLETELY pleased with what I have so far it's passable. The fact I let it become mostly about Twilight is the only mark I'll count against me. I even considered starting another story to take place during the same time frame simply to alleviate doing a flashback or some such. But in my story's timeline I did plan for this it will just be jarring (I hope not but it might be) to read about the other ponies after focusing on Twilight's tussle through things so far.
After all we have twenty three (or so who can say really...
) ponies and while they might not all get 30 thousand words I want them all to be fairly represented. This will be so much easier once they've been consolidated better.
Oh and also, thank you for the support Tannius it's much appreciated. As a thank you here's a better sci fi than what I'm writing that is completed for you to enjoy. It's quite good, especially if you enjoy BattleTech.
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/122/1/the-thessalonica-legacy/the-valexa-situation
I do worry about Twilight's magic. Hopefully she'll recover and it's not damaged in some way. I understand limiting her in some way makes good story sense. You don't want an overpowered protagonist, at least not right away.
Also, poor Fluttershy.
I can't think of a worse fate for a nature oriented character than to be cyborgized.
1948819
Nrrg, yes I'm having a great great time writing her in as we speak as well. Suffice to say I'm trying to cut back on lengthy descriptions and let the dialogue and action do the story telling so to speak. Those first two chapters hurt the story I feel as I'm not as affluent a mood setter as I am an adrenaline encourager.
But that could just be my author's 'everything I make is crap!' sense going off I was terrible with that in HS art class. Still I have barely exposed at all thus far, as they say, I have not yet begun to write!
Cliff hangers for days son!
I must ask but is this a military story?
It's funny, I've been angsting over this story every time I read a new chapter. Will Twilight be OK? What happened to Rarity and Apple Jack? How will Fluttershy survive? Will Apple Bloom get her cutie mark in engineering?
Then I read the part with the Doctor... The Doctor is here! Everything is going to be OK.
I actually felt relieved. 
1981773
Ah Tannius my faithful feedback... uhm, person. No one ever said I alliteration was easy.
I alluded to the doctor last chapter too for the keen of eye. I was very sure I wanted to include him in the story from the the start, but I don't want him to suck up the lime light and he won't. (Twilight's doing a good enough job of that as it is, *rolls eyes*)
*Taps out his pipe* Well thanks for sticking with me Tannius I appreciate the loyalty, I won't disappoint with this story or quit writing it at some wretched cliff hanger as I like to do every chapter. There's a great deal yet to come yes a great deal indeed... I've had a terrible showing and even some marks against me and honestly it's from my own inexperience with this system and stubborness concerning how I like to read and write my own stories. EQD and their not so polite denial of my solo chapter one made that clear. Still I was telling this story from the get go for myself, there aren't enough world spanning fictions with more than one character and I wanted to change that. I want Lotr with ponies in Space, or tWoT. So I intend to deliver.
I get morose when I see that the likes of this had beaten me out for a feature there.
http://www.equestriadaily.com/2013/01/story-sixth-age.html
Aaaanyway, don't put all your hopes in just one Earth Pony... Poor fellow is just as abducted as everyone else aboard Elysium.
1982646
That may be, but The Doctor is the Doctor! I've seen damn near every episode, even some of the reconstructed ones. No matter how bleak things are, as Long as the Doctor is around everything will work out all right. Even if he lets everyone around him do most of the work. His whole never give up, never surrender attitude gives strength to all around him.
As for EQD, never really been there. Some of us like to think for ourselves as to whether we like something or not.
1982801
Well said sir.
on both counts. Although I gotta disagree a little eency bit. In recent years the Doctor has had his fair share of despairing moments, usually only perking back up or bouncing back from them if some deus ex machina esq plot point reveals itself. He's never been a fighter (as in fighting fighter anyway) after all.
Gah we're committing the awful sin of spoilers you know John.
1983199
Well, us sole survivors of ancient races tend to get a little depressed in our later years.
Stuck with a bunch of killer aliens in a comfined space sound familiar
2031521
I hope you don't mean to say that's a bad thing!? :O
2040710
No, i just think a lot of people are gonna die probably all of them if the bugs can multiply also i can't help but feel this is the humans own damn fault not locking up their specimens properly or they did and the aliens have acid for blood and killed one of their own to melt a hole in the floor
That is Alien resurrection were human scientist thinks cloning smart learning aliens with acid for blood is a good idea
If their security is as good as i think its a wonder the humans haven't destroyed themself yet, aliens and cyborg ponies roaming the hallways one would think living for thousand of years makes them smarter but instead it makes them dumber
2042875
Gives a knowing smile.
1881162
How many do you have under read later?
2087662
Lel, I was asking CG
2087670
I'm really not sure what you're talking about Daemo.
I thought it odd in hindsight that you'd ask him on my page really but in context I'm assuming he brought it up down there somewhere.