I have never read theory · 3:09pm Nov 12th, 2022
Or rather, each time I do, either I feel validated by whatever the author is saying or I let my brain go smooth as a shark and feel bored. I understand the words and why they could be important, but it's always like I'm reading something separated from the messy reality or that studying all of its layers may just be an exercise in futility. More than a few times, either friends or academia, I've had to read it and add it to my reference library, but it leaves me unsatisfied all the time. One thing I've found to help was to apply it to a story, because it feels like a curated human experience rather than rules stated upon a page, yet... I still fail to make the intuitive leap between Theory and The Life You're Living. Probably a matter of lacking wisdom or of compartmentalizing too much? Mayhap it's also because my everyday state about things is Might Be True but also It Has Glaring Flaws and Must Evolve . Huh. I feel like the eternal student, always afraid of doing something wrong but also feeling there's no right. Why should I write a blog post if it's this kind of pseud babble? I mustn't keep silent either because there's a problem and it must be pointed and addressed and everything. Also, I just like typing things. It's nice. I am avoidant and hypergraphic at the same time.
For whoever wants to know, when I said I was ESL, it's because I'm French and despise the pun Prench with all my might, so it could be reason enough to feel some ennui on my part. Or indifference.
I love talking to myself and writing little notes, as do some authors here it seems, so it's already a win situation. A jaw not so used to talk but very much prone to drinking might take a while to utter some worthwhile commentary, but I'm trying my best to give my impressions on the stuff I've read ahah.