Showing and Telling 101 · 11:54pm Aug 18th, 2014
You cannot go far into the writing community without stumbling across the phrase "show don't tell." Opinions on this topic vary. Some follow the guideline religiously: you cannot come out and say "Rainbow Dash was cold," but rather, you must always say what you mean without saying it: "Rainbow Dash's teeth chattered." Others will give you more balanced advice: use roundabout means (show) when you want to be vivid, and say it plainly (tell) if we need the bare facts and do not have time to dwell on them too much.
However, the more I think about it, the less I am convinced there is a meaningful difference. In each case, the fundamental attitude is the same: I am writing such that the reader is given facts about the world. If there is to be any further distinction, we must go digging for another attitude with which to write.
Telling
When you are telling, you write as though you have a fact that you need to impress on the reader. For instance, you are focused on the reader understanding "Rainbow Dash is feeling cold." You have succeeded if your reader can point to the part of the story where the character feels cold and tell you "Rainbow Dash feels cold here." Note that you do not have to explicitly come out and say "Rainbow Dash is cold." You could dress it up in metaphor or descriptions of what physical sensations the character is experiencing right now: "Rainbow Dash's teeth chattered" "Rainbow Dash could not feel her hooves" however, your motivation to include that phrase is still impressing your fact "Rainbow Dash feels cold" on the reader.
There is no harm in this attitude, as without giving the reader ideas and facts to play with, we have nothing with which to build a story. The trick is to ask yourself what it is that you most need to tell the reader and then say it in the most interesting way possible. If it is a simple fact that must be said, then state the simple fact: "Rainbow Dash was cold." No need to waste any more time on it. If your fact is more complex, use a few more words: "Rainbow Dash grit her teeth to stop their chattering." Here, we have two facts combined in one tight package: "Rainbow Dash is cold" and "Rainbow Dash does not like chattering teeth."
The more specific and interconnected your facts are, the more interesting they will be to read. This is what most editors are getting at when they spout "show don't tell." They are telling you that your facts are presented in a boring manner. "Rainbow Dash is cold." "Rainbow Dash is grumpy because she is cold." To go on and on like this is as dry as reading a textbook. The reader wants to know what kind of cold -- a touch below freezing, Arctic, or Pluto? Are there any other things going on because of the cold? Can there be icicles? Explored and connected facts are fun facts, and if you must give the reader facts, fun facts are always better than dry ones.
Showing
However, notice that regardless of whether you are telling directly or using a more roundabout tell, you are still writing with the attitude that you are giving your facts to the reader. If we want to truly show, we need to move beyond this attitude entirely. Instead, the author whispers their facts to their characters and allows them to act honestly given these facts. Put another way: Rainbow Dash's teeth may chatter all they want, but you have not shown she is cold until she abandons all pretense and snuggles Applejack for warmth. Now you have discovered the reality of this fact: cold gave Dash such a powerful need for warmth that she sacrificed her social decency for it.
The object here is not, as some suggest, to see everything "as the camera sees it." Cartoons have long adopted any number of "shown" visual cues to actually tell the audience what is going on, from teeth chattering to foot tapping or whistling. The camera sees it, but the story is still telling. Instead, we must describe things as the characters act on them. You can ignore your feelings. If you have acted upon a sensation, it means that you have an opinion about it and that opinion is strong enough for you to do something about. Your characters are talking now, not your narrator.
Note what is missing here: telling the audience the details of what is going on. You have to adopt an attitude that your characters know what is going on in their world. If they do something, it is for a reason that the reader can discern for themselves given a few contextual facts, preferably the same ones the characters have. This will leak into which facts you tell and how you present them. If our facts are designed for our characters to act on them, it begs the question: which part of the fact are we interacting with? The mere fact of cold? The feather-freezing wind? It asks you to tell your facts not as they are, but as they are most apparent to our characters.
I mustn't tell ridiculous lies
If you give this showing attitude a spin, you will start to notice how much "showing" we do is actually telling. We add in little cues to our characters all the time not because our characters would do them, but because we want to establish a fact for the reader. This can get us into trouble. Why would Fluttershy suddenly be nibbling her hooves as Dash streaks towards the finish line if she has never shown the compulsion before? Because the author wants to tell the reader that the scene is allegedly tense. Rainbow Dash's teeth chatter when it is barely freezing and she's wearing a heavy coat because the author needs to say the scene is cold. Expected? Sure. Fake? Very much so. We can do better.
Description is not an end in itself. It exists to give context to the action of the characters. The best description, therefore, is tied closely to what is going on in the scene. Be careful about hijacking your characters' natural reactions for exposition. Shivers, shakes, and tooth chattering are all go to "shows", but in real life, they only happen when things have reached the point that something has become intolerable. Knocking knees are the last step before breakdown. Shivering means your coat has failed you, so you had best get inside. If you are hijacking body language for shows, you had best be about to act on it.
If you are not, you are likely sharing facts that you are not doing anything with, or are communicating them in ways far too intrusive for their importance. If you intend the fact "Rainbow Dash was cold" but you find nothing else in her action suggests she is cold, perhaps it is time to reconsider the subject of your fact. If no one is doing anything about it, then it is not important to the action. You need another reason for sharing. Perhaps it is a noticeable element of the background. "It is cold." But that is boring, so we go a step further and ask how the cold has affected the background: "Rainbow Dash and Applejack crunched through the frosty grass." Telling? Yes: the phrase exists only to share a fact. But it is still interesting telling that does not hijack your characters.
Focus on needs
You have never done anything because you were cold. The mere fact does not contain sufficient information to figure out what to do about it. Is this cold in summer or cold in winter? Is it cold enough to do something about? Do you even care if you are cold? Before our characters can show us anything, the author must figure out what facts of the scene are relevant to each character and what they need because of that fact. If it is nippy, Rainbow Dash probably would not need anything. If it is Arctic, she would have a great need for warmth. As such, she might stop to make a fire or snuggle a conveniently proximate orange farmpony to meet her need.
Notice how we are inspiring our action with our facts, but not directly jumping from fact to action. This middle step is necessary to avoid magical thinking. Suppose I wanted Rainbow Dash to snuggle Applejack, so I make it nippy. The motive for including the fact is to justify the action that I want. This is the root of all forcing: driving the action on the basis of facts without considering how the facts interact with the actors. Showing requires honesty, not just action. Rainbow Dash would not get all touchy feely if it is only nippy out: she needs to keep up her reputation, and besides, cuddling out of the blue is plain weird. When you establish a fact, consider how it affects the characters before you act on it.
"How do I show emotion?" is never the right question
Suppose there was a race, Rainbow Dash lost to Fleetfoot, and Fleetfoot gloated. Yes, Rainbow Dash would likely be angry, but how do we show it? The short answer is that such a thing is impossible. Notice how we are now focused on conveying a fact to the reader. This is not a showing attitude. We do not even have a clear idea of what we are trying to communicate or how it relates to the action. Is this slow, seething anger? Self-righteous fury? Who is Rainbow angry with: Fleetfoot or herself? Dealing directly in emotions is asking for writer's block because, on their own, emotion words do not contain sufficient information to do anything with.
Fleetfoot is gloating. Rainbow Dash becomes angry. What now? It depends not on the emotion she is feeling, but upon what her needs are in the circumstances she finds herself in. Suppose Rainbow Dash thinks that it is disgusting that her role model is trying to put her down. Now what does she need? She needs to get her idol to knock it off. If we know that because Dash's role model is trying to put her down, Dash needs to get her to knock it off, then why do we need to worry about Dash being angry while she is doing it? We know what Dash's aim is, so we can let her pursue it however feels right in the moment of writing. To stop at "Dash is angry->whatever action we want" is to fail to examine our circumstances. I would go so far as to call it lazy.
No one tries to do things angrily. We act on our needs and whatever happens, happens. If your scene is falling flat, instead of showingtelling more anger, try to find additional needs that guide your characters to more intense action. Not only does Dash need to stop Fleetfoot from being a pig, but she also needs to shame her into not doing it again. That will get Dash right in her face, and if you happened across someone ranting and raving at another person, would you not conclude they are angry? Our reader will now see emotion without us even thinking about adding it.
Some may protest that emotions are mysterious things and no one knows why they feel what they feel. I would agree. But you are the author crafting this world and its goings on. If you have added something to your world, is your business to be able to explain yourself even if your characters cannot. And, of course, the more you can explain your story to yourself, the easier it will be to write more.
The difference between show and tell is not in how many pretty words we use, but in the attitude that drives us to put the words on the page. When we tell, we address the reader. When we show, we watch as our characters and circumstances address each other. The more we are conscious of this distinction, the more deliberate we can be in our writing, and, ultimately, the deeper our writing will be.
Epic blog is epic.
You go into so much detail with these.
Wow! That's a really good analysis on show vs tell! Thanks for taking the time to write this, as I found it really interesting and informative.
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You're welcome
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I find examples help get the point across more clearly. They also force me to put what I philosophize about into a test case, so I know there's at least one situation where my ramblings are applicable. Keeps me from putting anything too silly in there
Yeah... I think you've hit it on the head. Showing and telling are both essential skills. The reason people say 'show, don't tell' is because over-telling is an obvious problem for many amateurs... over-showing, not so much. Still, there are definitely stories where I've wanted to shake the author and say "just tell me what's happening!!" In fight scenes, usually.
More and more, I find myself thinking of stories in terms of flows and immersion. The correct choice to make for a scene is the techique that draws the reader deeper into the story. Sometimes that's using telling to skim past boring details; sometimes it's using showing to emphasize parts.
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Actually, I find "over-showing" in the common understanding of showing, to be an equally annoying problem, but no one talks about it in those terms because the writing community sequestered it in its own discussion: purple prose
2396908 Hmm, interesting. I hadn't considered that, but you're right.
You know, I think there's a lot of misunderstandings perpetuated by these pre-packaged phrases. "Show, don't tell," "Purple Prose", they seem useful, but the way they affect our thinking is complex. Wikipedia used to have an interesting page on 'thought-terminating cliches', but it's been shrunk and merged with something else. As authors, people who work with the nuts-and-bolts of language, we should learn to see through them.
...My dad's a sociolinguist. It's been too long since I talked to him.
I like this blog. Gives me tips and all that.
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That's the idea. Hope you find them useful
2411228 IT IS! Because of this blog, I won't have as much trouble describing actions in my story.
It's going to make my writing better, if sightly at best.
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