Friendship is Card Games: The Root of the Problem · 12:44pm Feb 19th, 2017
I’m half-tempted to just post this link to Atop the Fourth Wall and move straight to the card designs. I’m not going to, but Linkara does do a very good of breaking down many of the comic’s failings. That said, he does it from the perspective of an outsider looking in. He’s tried Friendship is Magic and it isn’t to his taste. I respect his opinion, but there are aspects of it that elude him.
That’s where I come in. 
Wow. That first cover. I’m going to leave my comments at that; I try to keep these blogs on the softer side of Teen.
I do appreciate the first page’s layout, with the arboreal panels pervasive but unnoticed until Zecora comes bolting out of the Everfree.
Speaking of whom, you have to give her credit. Zecora will turn anything longer than one syllable into a couplet.
Wait, Applejack tips cows? I suppose she may have some pent-up resentment towards cattle after the events of the last storyline, but that’s no excuse for doing that sort of thing to her tenants.
Apparently these aren’t the reassembling sort of timberwolves. I’d think it had something to do with them being far from the Everfree, but the ones in “Spike at Your Service” didn’t seem to have any problems assembling themselves into an alpha. I suppose it’s a case of narrative expediency taking priority over continuity. Expect a lot of that in this storyline.
Also, credit to Rarity for joining in the fight, despite her protests.
I’m not sure if I should be exasperated by Pinkie’s priorities or disturbed by how readily she’ll eat the bodies of her fallen enemies.
Zecora mentions thorns, but I’m not seeing any. Given how the vines are wrapping around everything and everyone in sight, I should probably be grateful for that.
Speaking of thorny vines… Yeah, this storyline was published more than a year after “Princess Twilight Sparkle.” I know the root cause—sorry—is different, but this opening still feels all too familiar.
That being said, the way the vines creep along the gutters of the comic reminds me more of what’s going on in Goblins right now, only with plants instead of demon goop.
Given the rate of spread, I’m hard-pressed to believe that Everfree vines could climb their way to Canterlot with any kind of haste, especially given how they’re only just now attacking Ponyville. At the very least, there should be time enough for Celestia to explain what the flying ficus the Heart of the Forest is. Maybe she only had one sheet of stationery available.
Sorry, Fluttershy. The Everfree remembered it was supposed to be imposing. Only took it a couple years. That’s pretty quick for a forest.
Huh. Demons confirmed to exist in Equestrian folklore. You know, beyond Sunset Shimmer’s self-description, and that’s muddied by years of exposure to human culture.
This came out a few months before “The Cutie Map.” I get the feeling Pinkie wouldn’t be so perky over the prospect of losing her cutie mark after the mission at Our Town. (Or maybe she would; this is Pinkie we’re talking about.)
Hmm. Okay, I recognize the giant bats, the owlbear, the hydra, and the drop bear, but what’s that thing on the bottom right supposed to be?
And so we meet our first deer, and I immediately hate him. Granted, the Mane Six make a terrible first impression from Bramble’s perspective, but what else were they supposed to do? Let themselves get eaten? It’s not like they have access to cervine botanomancy.
Hmm. On the one hand, Bramble never did anything to help bridge the gap before Twilight tore down that tree. On the other hand, I’m not sure if anypony ever let him get a word in edgewise. And on the foot of your choice, the ponies don’t need to imagine how they would feel if their homes were being destroyed because that’s happening as they speak.
Seriously. Lay-up counterargument right there, but nopony touches on it.
Wow. Unicorn bigotry much? Magic comes in many forms, girls.
I’ll give the deer this: Thicket is beautiful. Amazing work by Andy Price, solidifying the deer as hoofed elves. The worst kind of elves, at that: the insufferably arrogant ones who look down on those who don’t live as they do despite lacking the capabilities to do so. Never mind that ponies do the exact same thing for the rest of the continent. Heck, the ponies do more to manage and maintain the ecosystem than the deer, unless you’re telling me those antlers can move and manufacture clouds. (Also, how exactly did the deer react to the plundervine invasion?)
And about that whole stewardship thing. You know what I was saying before about the Everfree bioming up and acting like the eldritch hellwood it was supposed to be? How it was an impossible nightmare landscape where everything took care of itself? Well, throw that all out the window, because now it’s nothing more than a deer-tended lamb before the slaughter, and the butcher is none other than that most evil of creatures…
MAN
Wait, wait, sorry. Got my notes crossed with a Captain Planet script. Let’s try that again. Ahem.
And the butcher is none other than that most evil of creatures…
PONY
Also minotaurs.
Mostly minotaurs.
Wait, the construction is taking place right next to Thicket? As in smack in the middle of the Everfree? Seriously?
A. How do the supply lines work? Are you telling me these guys cut a swath through literally half of the Everfree and no one noticed, the diarchs included?
B. Is this legal? Granted, the last storyline showed what a mess Equestria’s legal system is, but I think Twilight can justifiably shut down this operation. And if she can’t, who cleared this?
Also, if the deer really wanted to take a more aggressive stance, they could always…
Eh, it’ll be coming at the climax.
If there’s no reply, you could always send something other than a messenger bird. Just saying.
… Yeah, no, I’m not buying it. There is no way this is legal. Nor do I buy this jackwipe talking circles around the Mane Six. Honestly, I don’t see why they held Fluttershy back. Nor why Twilight didn’t immediately arrest him. I’ll be touching on my favorite Watsonian explanation for this travesty at the end of the review, but as is, this is transparently lazy storytelling.
Oh, look. Trees. Right next to the construction. You know, the construction that’s allegedly killed the soil. Great artistic continuity there, Andy.
You may just be doing your job, pal, but said job is flagrantly illegal in any rational code of law.
Yeah, the cutaway to Canterlot is just insult added to injury. The sisters don’t even have the excuse of the vines taking them by surprise this time. Heck, when it cuts away to a larger view of Canterlot, the vines aren’t even connected to the Everfree. And if deer magic can’t get them growing on the construction site, I’m very hard pressed to believe they can cross bare freaking rock.
Celestia had no idea this was going on, apparently. Unless there’s some member of a zoning board on the take, Twilight has every right to evict the entire operation and dump them in prison.
Also, elkish messenger birds apparently can’t fly higher than three feet above the ground. 
Oh, and the construction site is directly between Thicket and Canterlot, which means those supply lines should almost certainly be visible from the capital.
Rainbow Dash is considering giving up. Rainbow Dash is considering giving up. For f
’s sake.
Well, at least the protest went better than Tiananmen Square.
(On an amusing note, the bulldozers are apparently pushed. By bulls. For all that this is becoming a tremendous headache, the combination of visual pun and Flintstones technology made me smile.)
…
MOTHERFUCKER, YOU DON’T HAVE A LEGAL DEPARTMENT! YOUR ENTIRE OPERATION IS OPERATING AGAINST THE EXPRESS WISHES OF TWO SOVEREIGN NATIONS! IN ANY BETTER WRITTEN STORY, YOUR ASS WOULD ALREADY BE IN A PRISON SO DEEP, MORLOCKS WOULD USE IT AS A LATRINE!
Sorry. There is only so much bullcrap I can take from one story without somehow venting. If this were on Fimfiction, I would’ve stopped reading the moment they’d cut away to Canterlot. Here, I’m going to keep going. It’d be a pretty terrible review if I couldn’t sit through every part of what I’m reviewing. But it’s pretty clear that no one ever talked to IDW’s legal team while writing this script.
The comic writers really do seem to like these “hilarious” failure montages. Sometimes they are funny. Other times, they just make the characters look incompetent. Guess what this one does.
To be fair, Aspen, they’d have been a lot more capable had the story let them.
(Honestly, I’m not sure why they’re still trying so hard. Both sides are jerks. Nor why they aren’t mentioning their various conquests. “You have proven you are not capable.” “We’ve beaten gods. Plural.” “Not listening. You can’t argue with elk.”)
What exactly does Spike do when skulking alone?
“We rush in there without thinking to help!” Ha! Okay, that’s funny. Though the fact that Dash said that rather than just do that rather undercut the effect.
Ooh, I like the coruscating green energy along Aspen’s horns.
Well-To-Do is standing right in the middle of your citadel. He has all of one minion. He is surrounded on all sides. Why haven’t you gored and/or trampled him yet?
So much for “Equestria doesn’t need trees and fluffy bunnies.” Eh, Well-To-Do’s shown that he’ll do anything that will maximize profits.
“All fan fiction must meet corporate standards.” Ugh. Now that’s a terrifying sentence.
A contract signed under duress isn’t legally binding. You’re getting me mad again, comic. I’m not afraid to go looking for more angry pony pictures.
… Why is everyone in silhouette in one panel except for Pinkie, Dash, and Fluttershy? I’m not questioning the use of silhouettes for drama, just the inconsistency.
Heh. A poorly worded contract signed under duress is even less legally binding.
Why would the ponies ever doubt Fluttershy’s ability to win over the creatures of the Everfree, Fluttershy included? She demonstrated that capability in their very first adventure together. For that matter, why would the deer need her help? Weren’t they the one who provoked all of the fauna to riot in the first place? Did they seriously call up that which they could not put down?
It’s about freaking time. This is how green wins games, folks. Not by talking. Not by subterfuge. By running over the opponent until they’re a greasy stain.
Okay, the driver making the backup beeps is pretty funny.
Given what goes in plant fertilizer, I really wouldn’t want to drink that stuff. And I don’t just mean dung. The chemical mixes that plants like have little in common with what animals go for.
They can’t be staging a coup unless they either want to take over the company rather than simply oust it, or if Well-To-Do believes he’s literally conquered the Everfree. And given what I’ve seen, I’m pretty sure he does.
In a more sensible story, this headlong charge is what would’ve happened on day one of construction. If not sooner. This is the Everfree. It’s about time the place acted like it.
Again, great page layout with the organic goop along the edges transitioning into flourishing flora. Also, it’s kind of funny to compare this scene with the climax of Legend of Everfree. Similar events, very different contexts.
The deer might not be able to stop Well-To-Do from returning. The Equestrian legal system? In a continuity other than the comics, almost certainly. That said, I can’t complain about the solution offered by the story. That’s the other way green wins games.
Another example of weirdly libidinous comic Rarity. Shoving Spike aside—and Twilight covering her laughter at the act—is just added insult.
Aww. Fluttershy giving Philomena a beak boop.
Yeaaah, Celestia is far from the only one who should be offering an apology. At least Blackthorn provided one in turn.
Also, hopefully this will get Celestia to patch whatever hole Well-To-Do slipped through.
Honestly, I don’t see why the diarchs don’t like Pinkie’s window design. If you ask me, it’s the best panel in the entire story.
Wow, did this one suck. The amount of abuse the characters and world have to go through to justify the storyline is downright shameful. The implications these last four issues carry about the Equestrian legal system borders on terrifying. (Granted, this is a legal system where it’s perfectly fine to sell your friend into indentured servitude with dubious consent at a swap meet, but still, I’d like to think Celestia hashed out something vaguely reasonable in the last millennium.)
The Watsonian explanation I mentioned earlier is DannyJ’s story A Word With You, My Friend?, which does a great deal more to address Aspen’s actions and the consequences and foolishness thereof. Also to explain just why the Mane Six were a lot more useless than they should’ve been. Just knowing that that story exists helps. A lot.
What really gets me riled up is that this story had so much potential. A new sapient species! New magic! Endless possibilities! And then they waste it on an environmental message that has no place in Equestria. Ugh.
Let’s just move on to the cards before I go trawling Derpibooru again:
Thicket Informant 1W
Creature — Bird
Flying
As long as you control an Elk, Thicket Informant gets +1/+1 and has vigilance.
Every eye in the Everfree serves its masters.
1/2
Mount Up 2W
Sorcery
Creatures you control get +1/+1 and gain flanking until end of turn. (Whenever a creature without flanking blocks a creature with flanking, the blocking creature gets -1/-1 until end of turn.)
“Does this strike anypony else as odd?”
—Rarity, Bearer of Generosity
Civil Disobedience 4W
Enchantment
Revolt — At the beginning of your end step, if a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn, until your next turn, creatures can’t attack you or planeswalkers you control unless their controller pays 3 for each of those creatures.
Contractual Obligation 2UU
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant creature
You control enchanted creature.
Enchanted creature can’t attack.
”They don’t have to like it. They just have to show up.”
—Well-To-Do
Well-To-Do’s Enforcer 3B
Creature — Pony Minion
Lifelink, menace
There aren’t many career paths available to a pony with a blackjack for a cutie mark. Cronyhood is among the more savory.
2/3
March of Progress 4B
Sorcery
Destroy target land. If you control an artifact, draw a card.
”You have to tear down the old to make way for the new.”
—Well-To-Do
Well-To-Do, Bullish Marketer 4B
Legendary Creature — Minotaur Rogue
Spells you cast cost 2 less to cast.
Whenever you cast a spell, you lose 2 life.
”No refunds.”
4/4
Converse Cavalry 1RR
Creature — Pony Knight
Trample
Flanking
Fairness demands that somewhere in the Multiverse, horses ride apes.
3/2
Clear Cut 3R
Sorcery
Destroy target land. That land’s controller can’t play lands during his or her next turn.
”These beasts have not merely cleared the land. They have killed it.”
—King Aspen
Nutrient Boost 2G
Sorcery
Choose one —
• Target creature gets +4/+4 and gains trample until end of turn.
• Search your library for a basic land card and put that card onto the battlefield tapped. Then shuffle your library.
Skulking Drop Bear 2G
Creature — Bear
Reach
Revolt — If a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn, you may cast Skulking Drop Bear as though it had flash.
A rumor with teeth.
2/3
Thicket Cultivator 2G
Creature — Elk Druid
T: Untap target land.
The Everfree flourishes under the care of cloven hooves.
2/1
Hero of Thicket 2GG
Creature — Elk Warrior
Whenever Hero of Thicket attacks, other attacking creatures get +1/+1 and gain trample until end of turn.
”For Aspen and Everfree!”
3/3
Invasive Growth 2GG
Sorcery
Destroy target nonbasic land. Search your library for a basic land card and put that card onto the battlefield tapped. Then shuffle your library.
”It wasn’t me this time, I swear.”
—Discord
Fearless Timberwolves 3G
Creature — Elemental Wolf
Trample
Revolt — When Fearless Timberwolves enters the battlefield, if a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn, you may destroy target artifact.
Banging pots won’t save you.
3/2
Aspen, Heart of the Forest 3GG
Legendary Creature — Elk Druid
Vigilance
T: Add G to your mana pool for each Elk you control.
GG: Elk you control get +1/+1 until end of turn.
”The time for friendship has ended.”
4/5
Roused Hydra 4GG
Creature — Hydra
Roused Hydra enters the battlefield with four +1/+1 counters on it.
Revolt — At the beginning of your end step, if a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn, double the number of +1/+1 counters on Roused Hydra.
0/0
Enraged Owlbear 5G
Creature — Chimera
Revolt — When Enraged Owlbear enters the battlefield, if a permanent you controlled left the battlefield this turn, you may have Enraged Owlbear fight target creature.
It didn’t like intruders before, but it’s developed a taste for them.
5/5
Shovedozer 3
Artifact — Vehicle
Whenever Shovedozer becomes blocked by a creature, return that creature to its owner’s hand at end of combat. (Return it only if it survives combat.)
Crew 2 (Tap any number of creatures you control with total power 2 or more: This Vehicle becomes an artifact creature until end of turn.)
3/4
Bootleg Duplicate UR
Creature — Shapeshifter
You may have Bootleg Duplicate enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature, except it gains “At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, return this creature to its owner’s hand.”
”Cheap and legally distinct. Win-win!”
—Well-To-Do
0/0
Ensnaring Vines 1GU
Enchantment — Aura
Enchant artifact or creature
Enchanted permanent doesn’t untap during its controller’s untap step.
Landfall — Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, you may attach Ensnaring Vines to target artifact or creature.
Fluttershy Militant 1RGW
Legendary Creature — Pegasus Druid
Flying, double strike
Fluttershy Militant’s power is equal to the number of nonbasic lands your opponents control.
Fluttershy found herself reminded of another minotaur, and some very valuable lessons.
*/4
This was the only comic I read that I couldn't finish. I stopped at the halfway point and realized the rest would probably just piss me off more. I did, however, watch Linkara's review of it. Since he came at it from an outsider's perspective, he said it wasn't that bad compared to some environmental messages. The problem for us fans of the show is that an environmental message has no place in a world that is already more than 50% terraformed and climate controlled...and where the "pro-environment" side is doing the same thing, just with a different kind of magic.
I had once a theory that Sweet Apple Acres is a (tamed) part of the Everfree Forest. And that that's the reason that the Zap Apples can grow on the farm. In "Spike at Your Service", the fight was I believe somewhere between Everfree and Sweet Apple Acres so the Timberwolves could get enough magical energy to regrow.
Get used to saying that a lot.
tressym or a winged panther for the one oddball critter.
and yeah, while I did enjoy reading the comic. There was a lot of issues with it.
Thanks very much for the plug, FOME. I'm glad that the fic's existence was able to make this arc more tolerable to you, if only slightly.
And yeah, Revenge of Everfree was... not good, to say the least. It still sticks out in my mind as the lowest point in the main series, even after all the redeemed Sombras and living apples and the massive disappointment that was Chaos Theory. It takes a lot to push me to write a fixfic, given how I usually feel about them, but Revenge of Everfree really was enough of a waste of potential to need it, at least in my opinion. If other people can enjoy this arc, then good for them, but for me, it will always be one of the worst of the IDW MLP line.
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In fairness to him, it's not just about being an outsider and not seeing these additional problems. Revenge of Everfree seems significantly bad to us because it was preceded by so many much better comics. But reviewing bad comics is Linkara's job. It's what he does for a living. He reads dreck like this every other month, some of it for franchises he is a fan of, and most of it probably with far worse art than Andy Price's. Plus, he's been doing it for the better part of a decade now. Even if he wasn't an outsider, Revenge of Everfree still probably wouldn't have been more than a blip on his radar.
Yah, this is not one of the better comics.
And it's a huge shame, because I really like the elf-deer, both the idea and the designs. They're a great addition to the Equestrian Critter Compendium. Too bad they're being wasted in this story.
So you, too, read Goblins?
I had completely missed that goop in the gutters, myself. Thanks for pointing that out!
Yeah. Screw you, elves! You just can't argue with them.
And then I realized you'd already linked to that last one.
Why not? It has what plants crave!
As for the cards, I found a good number of them positively revolting.
All I'm acknowledging here is Eldeer confirmed.
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That does make sense. Such a heavily magical plant likely requires very specific conditions to grow healthily.
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Don't I know it. In about three weeks, I'll be looking an issue that I've described as "pissing all its potential down its own leg."
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The nice thing about local minima is that it's uphill from here. Not necessarily by much, but I'll take grumpy teenage centaurs over misguided environmental storylines any day.
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That is the bright side; the story gives us an excellent tool for our own use. It just needs through cleaning first, given all the crap with which it's packaged.
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Heh. Great minds think alike. I actually considered including "Brawndo does not, in fact, have what plants crave."
And yeah, the infernal corruption of the fourth wall's been a plot element in Goblins since the Axe of Prissan broke. You can go back for almost a year in the archives and see the slow spread from the bottom-right corner of each page.
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And Pinkie feasts on their souls in the Warp. Good for her.
4429792 CAKES FOR THE CAKE GOD! FROSTING FOR THE FROSTING THRONE!
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I think you may be confusing Pinkie with the God-Empress of Ponykind.
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Honestly, I really liked Tirek's FIENDship. I only wish that there had been a lot more of it. It's actually a huge step up.
Though, don't get the wrong impression, the middle of the miniseries will bring the pain. The Nightmare and Dazzlings issues are a one-two punch that makes the Everfree arc seem like a gentle caress.
The feidship was at least interesting, outside of the sirens.