Sometimes the land of Equestria, under Celest-AI, needs to be protected. Pity they got me. Now, if only I can figure out these pony boots and this headset...

Computers. Ponies. Optimal amounts of friendship. Hot air balloons and flying squirrels. Equestria is an amazing place, and Celestia needs somepony to keep it that way. I think. I mean, why else would she hire an unabashed computer nerd as a sysadmin?

(the cover art is by moe, but I can't find the source. Cos I'm dumb)

This is a silly self-insert story I wrote for the /mlp/ transformation thread. Trixie pulls you into Equestria and plays around with your body, turning you into various kinds of ponies. Please beware, this story has erotic undertones and is extremely silly.

When the Bearers race forth from Ponyville on an official mission, somepony has to take over on their day jobs. For Fluttershy, that's usually Snowflake.

But he's not available right now, so today, it's going to be a Sherman tank.

Don't worry. I'm sure nopony will ever notice the difference.

(Inspired by this story. Rated MC for MetaCrack.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

And here's a reading!

In a parallel universe, there exists an Equestria where the Princess of the Sun is not a pony, but one of the most advanced war machines ever created.

Featured on the front page! Thanks, everyone!

Check out an audio reading of this story by No One and Nobody here!

Twilight's power, along with that of Celestia, Luna, and Cadance, has been claimed by Tirek. Drunk on power, the demon-centaur is unleashing destruction upon Equestria, his reign of terror just beginning.

But there is hope. A crystalline chest, a gift from the Tree of Harmony, able to be opened by six keys. Keys which Twilight has now claimed the last of. All they can do is hope, hope that whatever is contained inside the chest is enough to stop Tirek.

And then something goes wrong ...

Note: This story is in no way connected with my other fanfics. It's very much a one-off in good fun.

Equestria Online is everywhere, and the writing is on the wall for the unuploaded human race. But there is hope. All they have to do is insert an uploadee into Equestria long enough to establish a connection through all of CelestAI's layers of protection, and pierce her heart with their ultimate weapon.

The best humanity has to offer can surely hold out for just a few hours, right?

An Optimalverse story

Flicker Nicker, having acquired his cutie mark, takes the first step of many into adulthood. Along with his mother, he travels to Canterlot, where he will join with the Rat Catcher's Guild.

There, he will don the mask of his calling, and he shall become the pony that he was meant to be.

An entry in the Weedverse.

A dramatic reading!

Celestium is a miraculous gas. Two neutrons. Two protons. Two electrons. And at least one thaumaton. With it, airships fly.

And so does one clever unicorn colt.

Flying is a cinch.

Landing? Not so much.

An entry in the Weedverse.

Discord wants Twilight to hit him. Twilight thinks there has to be a catch. Set in the same continuity as my TNG crossover fics, between "The Princess and the Dragon" (and also "Discord's First, Last and Only Friendship Report") and "The King Who Would Be Man", but Discord being Q isn't relevant to this specific story.

A page for this series now exists: Next of Kin to Chaos

A zipped copy of a WMA Audio file of me reading this story is now up on my web site, but be warned, the zip file is 28 megs. (The WMA is a good bit bigger than that.) I have an MP3 version as well, but it was both larger and less compressible, so I went with the WMA version instead.

This story is a sequel to Discord's First, Last and Only Friendship Report

Set in my "Next of Kin to Chaos" series, but no Star Trek knowledge is needed for this story. More or less direct sequel to "Discord's First, Last and Only Friendship Report", but not humor. Celestia summons Discord to explain himself regarding his ridiculous "friendship report", but the conversation quickly diverges. Discord wants to know what Celestia wanted to reform him for, and what he's expected to do. And Celestia wants to know why he decided to reform.

A page for this series now exists: Next of Kin to Chaos

Edited to add: The marvelous zabchan drew me this lovely cover art! Thank you!