Nicholas doesn't really know Princess Celestia. Sure, he's met her once or twice, when Twilight was still trying to find a way to get him home. Exchanged pleasantries and what not. But never had he had a real, sit-down conversation with her.

Now, he's been summoned to Canterlot to work as Celestia's advisor. He has no other options but to accept.

Cover art used with permission by Miokomata. Go check them out!

Audio reading of prologue by StraightToThePointStudio. Go check them out!

A group of pony radicals try to summon a demon to overthrow the princesses. Instead they got a human. They don't know what a human is.

((Pre Princess Twilight))

((Edit: Featured 5/11/2020. Didn't expect this to go over so well!))
((Edit2: Ch.8 featured 10/1/2020))
((Edit3: Featured 10/22/2020))
((Final Edit: Featured 3/25/2021))

They say that good armour is a Royal Guard's best friend.

Sometimes, it might be a little more literal than expected.

After all, it isn’t every day that one receives shameless self-promotion from their protective attire.

Johannes hasn't come to Equestria to escape his life, just take a break from it, and find himself in the process. A new relationship is the furthest thing from his mind right now.

But life has a way of surprising us, for better and for worse.

Related blog. Please read.
Dedicated to pahňázd and The Cloptimist.
Preread by pahňázd and Some Leech.
Edited by ROBCakeran53 and Admiral Biscuit.
Original art by Evomanaphy.

This story is a sequel to Cuddles II

There is nothing to compare to the comfort factor of a fluffy unicorn in the wintertime. Pony body temperature is naturally higher than a human's to begin with, and then there was the fur to consider. Cami's winter coat gave her maximum fluff.

In the dog days of summer, though. . . .

With a reading by StraightToThePointStudio!
Now with a Russian Translation by Mordaneus: (Ponyfiction) (Ficbook)
Now with a Chinese translation by gezhehuohu!

Anonymous leaves Ponyville to pursue a quiet office job in Manehattan. While he finds the possibility of new love in his future, he finds that his past from Ponyville isn't willing to give him up so easily. Some mares just don't know when to stop.

Who will Anon choose? His past life, Fluttershy? The mysterious Autumn? Or, perhaps the troubled Mulberry?

Alan, human and guest, is looking forward to a nice quiet day of sitting on the sofa watching trashy light entertainment programming with his close personal friend (and host) Princess Celestia.

Things seem a bit weird though...

Luna is bored out of her mind because it is the quietest of quiet nights.

Then, humming to himself, hoves into view the local human - the one her sister keeps around for...

...some reason.

Seeing an opportunity to alleviate her crushing, mind-numbing boredom if only briefly Luna grabs it with both hooves and calls him over. Useless chatter follows, and a Gameboy is involved.

Nothing of note occurs.

Bill (local human) and Celestia (local horse) are very close friends. Very, very close. So close it's gratingly obvious that they both plainly want to be even closer still, but despite Celestia's best efforts Bill remains utterly incapable of grasping that this is the direction that they both want it to go in.

Her latest scheme is more direct than those before it, but can it hope to work?

When Applejack delivers a package to the Kirin Village, Autumn Blaze meets a cardboard box for the first time.

Idea from ROBCakeran53's first PANIC fiction prompt, "A ing Cardboard Box," from the Quills and Sofa Speedwriting Competition.

A thank you to ROBCakeran53 and Syke Jr for proofreading before publishing.

Now with a sequel by TheDriderPony.

Spanish translation by SPANIARD KIWI.

Now with a reading by me!