The secret to getting through life is finding someone you can be yourself with.

Celestia wants to take a day off, but things just keep getting in the way... just like they have for thousands of years. Little things like small-town mayors, stuck-up princes, and of course, the obligatory dragon invasion.

Cover image by viwrastupr.
Proofreading by RaylanKrios.

Also read: Luna's Working Night

Sometimes Twilight Sparkle says the wrong thing at the wrong time. When she loves a surprisingly thin-skinned pegasus, this can only lead to disaster.

Proofreading by RaylanKrios.
Cover art by godoffury.
Now with audio reading by CosmicAfro.

This story is a sequel to Twilight Verbs Article Nouns

Having defeated the scourge of news stories about her banal personal life, Twilight must now face a far greater and more embarrassing threat:

News stories speculating about her nonexistent love life.

She's beginning to get a little annoyed.

Not a one shot anymore, because reasons.

This story is a sequel to Twilight Sparkle Exports Herself Repeatedly

After a drastic and ill-advised attempt to quash news stories regarding her previously non-existent love life, Twilight Sparkle has inadvertently given practically everypony she knows the wrong idea about herself. Or is it the right idea? She really doesn't know.

Which is starting to become a very serious problem.

The writer has no idea what he's doing at this point.

Twilight Sparkle is tired of this nonsense.

Every day, a slew of articles all focused on the minute details of her life invade her beloved newspapers. "Twilight Sparkle Eats Peaches." "Twilight Sparkle Hates Tea." "Twilight Sparkle Uses a Microwave." "Twilight Sparkle Makes Toast." All of it clogging up her precious sources of information from cities across Equestria.

But no more. The time has come to put an end to it, once and for all.

Written with thanks to Marceline from the #FimFiction IRC and for no good reason other than it sounded funny in my head.

Celestia has ruled over Equestria for over a millenium. Granny Smith kept a close eye on Sweet Apple Acres for centuries. Mayor Mare's tireless work kept Ponyville from collapsing into complete chaos most of the time. All of them do their best to keep their heads level in a topsy-turvy world, but even they need some time to wind down.

But how? Do they get drunk together and participate in wacky shenanigans?

In a word? Yes.

This is a side story to Letters From an Irritated Princess. Knowledge of it shouldn't be required to enjoy the story, but it can't hurt, either.

Cover art generously provided by Zaid ValRoa. Thanks a bunch!

Derpy was just trying to make a sandwich. Vinyl was there too.

Now the world is ending.

Really, it's all their fault.

A stylistic tribute to Terry Pratchett.

Russian translation by Repitter.

Proofread by MrNumbers, Octavia Harmony, and TheMaskedferret.

After a concert in Manehattan, Octavia overhears somepony calling her a fillyfooler and gives a heartfelt, somewhat drunk, curse-filled speech regarding it.

Inspired by a brief mention of the event in "Tools" by Samey90.

Tons of swearing, by the way.

And in case your eyes are allergic to letters, there is this fabulous Youtube reading by Octavia Winged T. Spears: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URysKo0Ymk0

A secret unknown to any hornless pony, unicorn horns are made of candy. Pinkie Pie found out, and now she wants to try every flavor!

Warning: contains awkward moments and far too much non-consensual horn licking. Proceed at the risk of your horn and your dignity.

Available in Chinese, courtesy of Hell Organist.
Available in Russian, courtesy of boatOV.
Audio Reading by CaptainBron3y.
Second Audio Reading by Kanjigirl.
Featured on Equestria Daily.

Based on this story:
Pegasus Wings Are Made Of Ice Cream
The Taste Of Madness
Lyra's Candy Shoppe
Candy Is Made Of Unicorn Horns
How Many Licks?
To Prevent Horn Decay
Unicorn Horns Are Made of Heroin
Over His Dead Body
A Luscious Loophole
Dr. Doofenshirtz's Sweet Revenge
That Thing We Do
#DealWithIt
Unicorn Horns are...
Unicorn Horns Are Loaded With Calories
Charlie The Unicorn's Horn Is Made Of Candy