Swear Collection! - Helping Hooves

Hoppa_21 #1 · Oct 7th, 2015 · 2 · ·

The Great Swear Collection

Can someone still remember this thread? Yes? Then let me tell you something. I kind of got an idea. Why waste all the swears, and instead start a collection! That's right, a collection of swears, so that other writers can look for swear words or whole sentences, when they lack creativity to think of them themselves!

And that's how it works. If you come across a word or sentence that you would like to get listed, then just list it in a comment. Same procedure, if you were thinking of a swear yourself! So let's start with the (at the moment) rather short list. I hope to expand it in the future, and have already started listing swears from fics I have read!

Words:

Pony:
Douchenozzle
Dumbflank Ponies
Flank Hole
Hay Eater
Plush Toy
Plushie

Unicorn:
Bookworms With Legs
Eggheads
Hay Pickers
Horn Head
Lonely Pitchfork
Obvious Magicians
Magic Worms
Walking Coatrack
Walking Marshmallow Sticks

Pegasus:
Birdbrain
Birdbucker
Coud Eater
Cloud Muncher
Featherbrain
Featherhead
Flying Chicken
Flying Dodo
Oversized Canary
Pillow Filler / Pillow Filling
Sky Mosquito
Son of a bird
Weather Vandal

Earth Pony:
Dirt Hoover
Dirt Lover
Dirt Pony
Dirt Scavenger
Dust Duster
Earth Trampler
Ground Bound
Ground Pounder
Ground Walker
Leaf Bucker
Mud Lover
Mud Pony

Crystal Pony:
Crystal Fairies
Crystal Polisher
Mr. / Mrs. Crystal Head
Stone Age Ponies
Walking Glitters

Changeling:
Bug
Cockroach
Insect

Zebra:
Furry Chameleon
Walking Cross Walk
Witch / Hexer

Minotaur:
Bovine
Chicken Bully
Glorified Pin Cushion
Horses Back End
Stuffed Bull

Gryphon:
Birdbrain
Featherbrain
Featherhead
Flying Cub
Oversized Chicken
Turkey
Worm Pickers

Dragon:
Lizard
Oversized Toucan

Draconequus:
Animal Accident
Failed Picashoof Painting
Goat Face
Long Tooth
Magical Noodle
Walking Thunder Conductor
Wrongly Done Puzzle

Guards:
Bird Closet
Canned Food
Gargoyles
Scrap Fashionista
Sun / Moon Pawn
The Hay Police
Walking Soup Cans
Waste Of Metal

Solar:
Armor Tanners
Backing Buckets
Eye Blinders
Shining Cans

Thestral:
Blood Sucker
Depressing Color Pallet
Featherless Bird

Others: (Passive Swears)
Buck
Chicken scales
Hay
Horseapples
Horsefeathers
Luna's teats
Ponyfeathers
Tartarus

Sentences:

Pony:

Unicorn:
"I hope your horn will fall off."
"I hope you trip and your horn gets stuck in the ground."
"I know that the books told you to bore something else, but that doesn't mean you should bore me/us!"
"If you don't watch out, I'll cut off your horn and use it as my ice cream holder."
"Sure, you can come with us! As a coatrack."
"Watch out with your 'head' extension!"
"Why use magic for fishing, when you can use your horn as a spear?"
"You would be useful on a farm, you know? As a damn pitchfork."
"Your horn is so big, Night Mare Moon used it to keep in contact with Equestria!"
"Your horn is so curved, King Sombra liked it!"
"Your horn is so ugly, when Queen Chrysalis saw your horn, she laughed her flank off!"
"Your magic is so spastic, Discord gave you a ribbon for sucking at magic!"
"Your magic is so weak, if you wanted to lift that butterfly up, it would fly away with you in tow!"
"You're so bad at magic, when you tried to get into the school for gifted unicorns, they said, "Sorry, no bad magicians wanted.""
"You're so bad at magic, when you tried to learn a spell, the book closed itself in disappointment!"

Pegasus:
"Come back here chicken wing! I'll feed you to the Griffins!"
"Fly into a thundercloud and get fried by it!"
"Get back here you feather-brained package-hoofer!"
"Hey! Hey! If you can't remember fly above the street, I will be happy to help! By bucking you there!"
"I hope you choke while preening!"
"I'm glad I'm not a pegasus, because I don't give a flying feather about what you think!"
"Is your head stuck in the clouds!?"
"Your wings are waterproof!? I'll see if they're fireproof!"

Earth Pony:
"Damn dirt tramplers, go dig yourself a hole to crawl into."
"Eat dirt, wingless dodo!"
"Get your head out of the dirt and watch out!"
"Grow some brains, oh wait! That is the only crop you'll be never able to grow..."
"I hope you're as good at growing crops as you're at being stupid."

Crystal Pony:
"A crystal heart? Well that explains the lack of intelligence here..."
"Can I hang you to the ceiling for my party? You'll do lovely as a disco ball."
"Can I use your coat as payment for my poker debts?"
"Can you help decorate my foals art? By shaking yourself over it, maybe you'll drop some glitters on it."
"Did your mane go through a glitter tornado to look so bucked up?"
"Holy Celestia! I thought for a moment the sun stood in front of me, because your coat almost burnt my eyes out."
"If you freeze solid, nopony would see the difference because of the damn coat."
"No wonder Sombra wanted to keep the Empire hidden, the brightness would make the sun wear sunglasses."
"Watch it guys! The fairies are walking by!"
"You're a crystal pony, and yet you aren't worth a bucking thing."
"You're a 'crystal' pony? What's next? Pony golems?"

Changeling:

Zebra:
"Can I draw on your coat? That way I can play 'Butter, Cheese and Eggs'."
"Can you do a ritual to make yourself invisible? Because that would be a blessing for my eyes."
"How the hay are you born with stripes? Do you go through a book printer at birth?"
"I bet, that if you made soup, you would be busy for hours only collecting the bloody leafs."
"I bet you all have difficulty crossing the road if the stripes move all the time."
"Thats a nice mane you have, for a 4 legged dodo."

Minotaur:
"Dear, Celestia. You smell like the back end of a horse... oh wait..."
"Holy buck, you look like as if a horse crashed into your flank."
"I wonder, if we didn't call you a Minotaur, what would you call yourself? I bet it would be along the side of 'a big mistake'."
"If your stench would become any worse, I'll change the name to 'Stinkotaur'."

Gryphon:
"Herrreeee birdie, birdie, birdie!"
"Holy buck! It's a cat with wings!"
"How did you came to exist? I bet discord must have sneezed or something..."
"I bet that if I sent a diamond dog after you, you'll be hiding in a tree."

Dragon:

Draconequus:
"If we were happening to have you in pieces, we would never be able to solve you again."
"If you turn to stone again, I'll put you in the farm field as a scarecrow."
"Who the hay created you? Did Faust just had some left over pieces and threw those into a mixer?"

Guards:
"A book is more talkative than you."
"Can you do something else than 'standing a hole' in the ground?"
"How does Shining Armour put up with the lot of you? I would have brought you all to the recycling long ago."
"I am more afraid for the main 6, than an army of you tin cans."
"I bet I can fight you with a can opener, and actually win."
"I bet you went through the guard training without breaking a sweat, because the training most probably consisted of doing bloody nothing."
"I hope Shining Armor will hunt your flank forever!"
"I hope that shitty guard outfit of yours goes out of style, 'cause it's all you've got!"
"If you stand any longer still, the pigeons will make good use of you."
"If you would be accompanied by a ghost, I'm pretty sure it would die again from boredom."
"It doesn't surprise me Shining Armour is the captain... captain of the dumb flanks."
"They could replace all guards like you with only the elements, and Equestria would still be better off."
"You're suposed to be intimidating? I'm more intimidated by a breezie."

Flash Sentry:
"Are you bucking kidding me!? I hope you get caught by an orange seller and let him squash you into orange juice!"
Flash Sentry? And you're a guard? What do you guard? The 'flashlight' supply?
"I imagine you go to battle while swinging a flashlight in hoof."
"I will stick a flash light on your helmet and will attach you to a sprinkler, that way you'll live up to your name."
"If I beat you like a piñata, would I get batteries? Or flashlights?"
"If trouble comes, I bet you're summoned by a blinking flashlight."
"If you do a fly-by, do you drop batteries?"

Others:
"Blast it all to Tartarus!"
“Buck me sideways on a sawhorse!”
“Calm your teats, mare!"
"Come back here and stand in your brethren properly!"
"Get back here! I'll make you even faster! by shooting you in the flank! with fire!"
"Go to the running of the leafs! that will be the only place you'll be ever useful!!"
"How in he nine circles of Tartarus [insert some fitting disbelieving proclamation]!"
"I bet Discord could use you! as a garbage disposer!"
"I hope a dropping piano will flatten you!"
"I hope you trip over a ladybug!"
"I hope you'll lose all of your teeth when you trip and smack your muzzle onto the sidewalk!"
"I pray that the garbage truck will take you with it! because you're nothing but a piece of trotting trash!"
"I've heard that yaks have more manners than you, you bucking asshole!"
"Keep running, I hope you trip and slide into a grinder!"
“Of all the plucking-”
“Oh, rut it all.”
"Tell your parents that I'm sorry that they had you!"
"There's not a feather's worth of truth in the whole bag of horseapples!"
“What the hay!”
“What the pluck?”
"Yeah! run faster! you might catch on fire!"

tarkus9

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tarkus9 #2 · Oct 7th, 2015 · · ·

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