The Party's Loyalty

Rainbow Dash wakes up from a horrible dream to find a similar scene to the events of her dream.

Yet another take on an alternate ending to the infamous "Cupcakes" fic.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 14 )

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chibiachika

chibiachika #1 · Feb 13th, 2012 · · ·

217505 Thank you. =) This is the first time I've done a shipping fic, and it made me happy that someone who doesn't like the particular ship got enjoyment from it.

Whatsup818

Whatsup818 #2 · Feb 13th, 2012 · · ·

This is a rather cute story. I liked it

chibiachika

chibiachika #3 · Feb 13th, 2012 · · ·

217617 Thank you. =)

ishmar

ishmar #4 · Feb 14th, 2012 · · ·

rahC A ylaP uoY steL leuqeS tfarcraW ;)

chibiachika

chibiachika #5 · Feb 14th, 2012 · · ·

218336 Eh? Warcraft Sequel Lets You Play A Char? What's that about? =o

ishmar

ishmar #6 · Feb 14th, 2012 · · ·

218780 its a onion not a potato!

Professor Coruptus

Professor Coruptus #7 · Feb 14th, 2012 · · ·

Ehe, not bad. Could use so prof reading. But not bad.

chibiachika

chibiachika #8 · Feb 14th, 2012 · · ·

219494 Thank you. =) I think a lot of my issues stem from trying to write in present tense when my previous works have relied on past tense. None of the people that would usually read my story before I submit it anywhere wanted to go near a MLP fanfic so I was kind of left to my own abilities, which if they were perfect, I wouldn't need a proofreader. It's something I need to work on, and hopefully my future fics will be better in those regards. Thank you again, I always appreciate commentary for mistakes I make because then I can make myself better.

Lokness

Lokness #9 · Feb 14th, 2012 · · ·

@chibiachika

In my personal opinion it was a little rushed. But seeing how this is a one shot you dont have a lot of room to wright. All I'm trying to say is don't rush your fics they tend to end up terribly, not that I'm saying this is terrible its good but a little rushed in my opinion.

chibiachika

chibiachika #10 · Feb 14th, 2012 · · ·

219773 I understand. =) It's been a few years since I've done any writing, and those were what I called "diary entry" stories, just of a character recapping their day. This is the first time I've written anything like this, and I need the practice if I want to write more. I am reading all the comments that I'm given, and taking advice into writing my next fic (Which I've just started.). I learned a lot from this story, along with the commentary. I'm going to try to pace my next story a little better, because I can see the few spots that it seems rushed at (I know at least that my scene transitions are terrible.). Thank you for your honest opinion. =)

Lokness