A blue pegasus, with prism colors in her mane, and a rainbow cutie mark that resembled a lightning bolt, flew up to the two ponies, which Stargazer had climbed upon twilight's back again.
"Hey Twi!" She chimed casually, "Who you got with you?"
"This here is Stargazer.: Twilight said casually.
"Stargazer? This little filly?" asked Rainbow Dash, as she landed next to Twilight. "Sounds like too big of a name, for such a small filly.."
"Hey!!" protested Stargazer angrily.
"Just saying, sheesh. Don't get your jimmies all rustled. So, What's up?" Rainbow asked, rolling her eyes.
"Well, Stargazer here has come into Ponyville in the most.... interesting way, Rainbow."
The blue Pegasus raised an eyebrow. "Exactly how interesting?"
Twilight looked annoyed at Rainbow. "She was teleported here, with some pretty nasty injuries."
Rainbow dash looked at the filly with a concerned eye. "So I can see..."
The small filly eagerly chimed, "Well, hello there!"
"Hey kid!" Chimed back Rainbow Dash. "You feeling okay?"
"Yep!"
"You're one durable little filly!" Remarked Dash curiously as she gave a closer look at StarGazer.
"She sure is." Commented Twilight thoughtfully. "Rainbow... she can stand on clouds..."
"WHAT!?" sputtered Rainbow Dash incredulously. "Twi, are you serious?"
Twilight nodded her head.
"Only pegasi can walk on clouds, So either she's very light-boned, or i think she used to be a pegasus."
Stargazer could only sputter. "Y-you're saying i used to have...wings!?"
Twilight just giggled. "That's just a theroy. We don't actually th--
"You know, you could be right on that one, Twilight. I do remember the air."
and this is just now that i see that i had put the like but i've forgot to fav the story![:facehoof:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/facehoof.png)
![:ajbemused:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/ajbemused.png)
if Dust and i share something , it must be our stupidity
3388800 and there's something one forgets about the countless OC's I create. For one, go ahead, Favorite it.
And Two.... you share this with one of my OC's..... she's not very bright.
Her name is Amethyst Shadows.
static.fjcdn.com/comments/8+_ae517bb7b5d233f9c6b9fff103f2bc0a.jpg![:yay:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/yay.png)
The likers... I love ya guys!! (And mares)
3393662 Well, he didn't want to kill her.
He wanted to impede the progress, so that he could get back to finding a way to cure the evil inside of him.
Ugh... Vren55 review rules... SUCK!
Oh nevermind... ![:twilightsheepish:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png)
This problem is in the first sentence... twice! I can see the improvement in later chapters but there is no excuse to go back and fix previous errors like capitalization.
Also about this review format: Why do I have to put the story name? It's like they think the people reading this review forgot what the story was called!
Name of Story: An unforgettable encounter (Really should capitalize the other two words. It's a title; make it look like one)
Grammar score out of 10: 5
Pros:
Visible improvement. I can see you improving from chapter to chapter by small strides.
It does fit the random genre a little but recommend more randomness. If you're gonna do it, go all out!
Canon characters feel... faithful.
Cons:
Capitalization and lack of fixing it. I know this falls under "grammar score" but this must be addressed... in the notes section.
The OC characters. The OC characters that carry this story. Very dull, not very well explained, and they lack connectivity. I don't feel like I connected and feel for most of these characters.
It's short. Chapter 5 is the worst offender of this. Less than 300 words?
Notes Section
Capitalization: Things that aren't being capitalized like "los pegasus" when it should be "Los Pegasus" and things being capitalized when the shouldn't be like "Pegasus" instead of "pegasus" Names. Names! Why aren't they capitalized?!
Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: The Storm is Here!
I'm sorry if this was a bit hateful but it's just that I get emotional at times.
3431735. Dear my friend,
this was my first story... I didn't put enough time into it... It was a total mess. I know and I'm aware it sucks. I just can't trash it though, because someone begged me to put it back. So... I am lost for words, but I have to admit you are right on this one. I'm sorry I suck so much. ![:facehoof:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/facehoof.png)
![:facehoof:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/facehoof.png)
I...I'm sorry. :
Sincerely,
~Black Flames~
3431853
I've seen worst but the only true crime you could ever be accused of at any point is giving up. I don't think you should give up but instead take the knowledge you get across the way and apply it to your earlier work. This is known as revising or reconstructing or even just editing. I say don't give up but instead learn from your mistakes and fix them.
3431882 well, you are right, but I won't be getting back to this anytime soon.... I got to write on another one of my stories.
Thank you for bringing up my crushed spirits. ![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)