Once upon a time, the eminently sensible earth pony named Clyde came into his kitchen just in time to get a faceful of frosting.
“Daddy, I baked some cupcakes! They’re sugary and colorful, and sugary…” Pinkie, covered in batter, jumped around the kitchen. “I made them for Grandma Surprise!”
Clyde stared blankly at his daughter as he wiped the frosting off his face. He picked up the basket of cupcakes. “Let’s take them over there.” He then very slowly and deliberately walked out the door, Pinkie bouncing by his side. He grabbed his red cloak, as it was quite chilly.
On the way to his mother-in-law’s home, Clyde smelled a timberwolf nearby.
The timberwolf came out and thought that surely these ponies were not eminently sensible. “Where are you going?” he asked in the friendliest tone of voice he had.
Clyde opened his mouth to speak, but Pinkie spoke first. “We’re going to Grandma Surprise’s house, near the river bend!”
“Hush, don’t talk to strangers,” Clyde scolded briefly and looked up. “I daresay it’s none of your business. Please go away, sir.”
The timberwolf slunk away into the surrounding brush. He ran over to the house of this “Surprise” and stuffed her in a closet, tying her up. He proceeded to put on her apron and cap, awaiting the arrival of the ponies.
When Clyde and Pinkie arrived, they found the timberwolf sitting in a chair. “Oh, what a pleasant surprise! Are those cupcakes? Do put them on the kitchen counter, please.”
Clyde whispered to Pinkie, “Take the cupcakes to the kitchen and stay there. Be very quiet. I’ll get you in a few minutes.”
She nodded and trotted off.
“Your voice sounds odd. Have you a cold?” asked Clyde as he began inching his way across the room to the empty fireplace.
“Why yes, I do.”
“What big teeth you have,” remarked Clyde, grabbing the fire poker and slowly advancing towards the back of the timberwolf’s chair.
“All the better to—”
Clyde leapt forward and attacked the timberwolf, who went down quickly. He hacked the wolf to pieces as he roared and flailed around.
“Your breath stinks,” said Clyde as the fire poker took its toll and the timberwolf fell apart.
He heard muffled cries from the closet. Clyde opened the door to find Surprise tied up and struggling. He quickly freed her. They both looked at the timberwolf’s remains.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
“Pinkie, you can come out now,” said Clyde.
Pinkie came out to see a fire blazing and asked, “Where did the fire come from? There wasn’t one when we came in.”
The moral of the story is: One should be wary of people they don’t know.
Well, that was dark as fuck...I feel bad for the Timberwolf.
6344872 At least it didn't have the Timberwolf eat granny Surprise like the original version of the Red Riding Hood story. In fact if you look at the original versions of them most fairy tales can be accurately described as "dark as fuck", its just that most people are familiar with the cleaned up, sanitized, and watered down modern versions of them
Stories like this make me sad. Yes, children are trusting and they should know that there are people in the world who will take advantage of that, but it's depressing that it's considered a good and even noble thing to tell them to fear people that they've never met.
6345295 I said that people should be wary of people they don't know. I'm not trying to say that kids should be afraid of strangers. Everyone's a stranger at some point. You don't have to be afraid of anybody while at the same time knowing that there are people who will take advantage of innocence.
6344974
Pretty much all of the stories popularized or invented by the brothers Grimm were, well... grim.
6345325 Yes, I know that, and you know that, but children aren't good at those kinds of subtleties. Trying to hammer the message in too hard can lead to a distorted view of the world, which creates its own set of problems, not least because the vast majority of abuse begins at home. I see enough xenophobia of all kinds already, so Clyde's “Hush, don’t talk to strangers,” as if Pinkie is in the wrong for not immediately assuming the worst of someone just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Nothing personal, and I don't disagree about the validity of the message. I'm not sad about this story existing, more about these stories existing, if that makes sense.
Starfox fans rejoice! Wolf is dead
6345374 Well, that last bit doesn't make a ton of sense to me but overall I see what you're saying. You make a point, and a good one at that.
6346489 6345374
Strangers pretending to be your grandma shouldn't be trusted at all, though! One doesn't have the chance to explain things to children in emergency situations.
And really, the lesson one should teach children is always be wary of strangers so that they can't put you in a situation where they might be able to entrap you. Having a group of friends or a guardian with you is a good way to do that, and if not that, keep to public areas where any malfeasance can be easily spotted and keep some distance to be able to run away.
6347737 What about grandmothers pretending to be strangers? I think they're MUCH more dangerous!
6344872
I don't. The Timberwolf fucking locked grandma in a closet, after breaking and entering. Then he had the balls to be an identity thief to do Celestia knows what else.
Getting shoved in a fireplace is where he should be.
EDIT:
Why do people empathize with those that are clearly doing evil? I mean, come on! Why should you feel sad when an asshole gets his ass handed to him?
6397790
Most good people just hate seeing people suffer, whether or not it was deserved. That's not to say that if you're okay with assholes suffering, you aren't good - but a blanket dislike of inflicting suffering is generally what stops most people from being assholes.
Far as I'm aware, at least.