The Greater Of Two Evils
“What about them?” she asked.
“You know the dead ponies? The ponies in black. The ponies with a sickness – like the fucking black plague sickness you twat! What else!” He raised his hooves to give his response more impact.
“Alright you bucking wanker I get it!” she snorted. “So why am I being questioned about the Eurponia black plague?”
“Well…you’re being questioned because every other fool in this cesspool doesn’t want to talk to me about this mysterious sickness, that’s what!” he stammered.
The mint-green mare fidgeted with her tail. Stroking through the thin hairs softly, she patterned her forehoof from the front to the back of her bone. She looked back up at the zany cop in front of her.
He repeated once more, “And I know there are discussions around the community of Canterbury about this sickness. So don’t play dumb with me missy.”
“Listen sheriff…I know something about something happening in Equestria at the moment. It’s fucking big too.” She told him.
“Well? Spill the beans you kooky half-dried up whore, come on!” He whispered.
“Hey! No need for that talk. You want to hear my side of the story or don’t you! Geez every time you talk you put your hoof up your fucking mouth, now listen here.” she shot back. Her eyes flared a demonic essence throughout her body that sent a shiver down Bob’s spine.
That put Bob Stooch in his place for the moment. For a very brief moment.
“Now I’ve heard some things, okay? I heard that something really big went down in a small town last week.”
“Where did you hear it from? An informant? Relative. What did you hear?” he asked her.
“You know. You’re fucking more desperate than I was when it came to that candy.” she blushed a little around her muzzle. Soaking in every chance she got to procrastinate and annoy this dumb cop.
“Oi! Shut up and just tell it how it is okay? This is the first I’ve managed to make a dent in this fucking place since the robbery last year. So spill some beans and fucking work at it, alright!” he snorted angrily with his loud voice that it made the others in the candy shop cringe with fear.
“Okay, look. Here is what happened,” she started off.
“Ahem.”
Nothing but silence filled the little shop.
Bob impatiently waited for this young mare to start but she only blinked at him than at the wall behind him.
“What are you doing?” Bob asked her.
She shuffled her body towards him, moving the chair closer. She signaled for him to come closer also.
He rolled his eyes and did as he was told.
She swayed her forehoof to his direction once more. Her legs jittered in anticipation as the stallion slowly ascended to her position.
He was now within arm’s reach. She impassively grabbed him closer to her snout than threw him back before the moment even fully sunk in.
In that small timeframe she whispered something so blatant to Bob Stooch that he would’ve threw a book at any mare or stallion if he had one within his own reach.
“Awe for-what is this? Daily drama in the papers!” he yelled out.
He stood up over his seat and accidently tapped the table with his hip. The vibration of the wobbling sound it made couldn’t have been more outmatched than his loud snarl to the ponies inside the building.
“Alright everypony! Clear the fucking building because we got major important business to do here.”
“H-h-hey you can’t do that this is my shop! You evil little pony.” Gustavio said.
Mark Gustavio was an Earth pony and the local bakery owner here in Candy Ship Delights; he had it running for 18 years deep and it was 18 years he was honestly not proud of. From a retired hard working pony’s standpoint like himself – It didn’t really spark the same passion as building a bridge or constructing the pre-production stages of an architecture layout for new government buildings.
And it didn’t spark the same passion if you only got to sit around baking treats and listening to the hottest gossip of the week.
But it paid the bills and kept a roof over his head. Not to mention that it kept his paraplegic wife happy and kept his kids noses clean from any bad habits that trailed on through this lonely town.
Gustavio yelled out with in his whiny Italian accent, “You can’t tell my customers to leave!”
“Oh but I just did fraggle rock; and listen here, listen well.” he raised his eyebrow. “You better not call me little again, my young stallion in need. Otherwise…you’ll see the bad cop in me. And you don’t like the bad cop, right?”
At this point every customer had shuffled out of the store and raced past one another to peek their heads through the windows outside the shop.
Gustavio and Stooch stared down hard at each other. Both of their eyes inflamed with sheer intense animosity against one another. The feeling of death creaked through the cracks of the walls and seeped into the veins of Bob as he was soon to pop in front of his witness.
Fortunately Mark Gustavio had better plans when one of his sons came flying in with a porno mag and some hoof cream.
The boy was a brown teenaged stallion with freckles around his face and clean cut mane. He immediately froze as he dropped the contents onto the floor in utter shock. The three adult ponies in the room all had different looks on their faces. All of which represented one thought that telepathically transcended through each of their brains in a matter of seconds.
‘I’ve been there before.’
Gustavio instantly jumped up and flipped out like all Italians did and cursed with all types of swears that could’ve been possibly made since the beginning of ponies’ existence.
Good thing he kept half of his cool by cursing in a language the two other ponies across from him didn’t recognize.
While the swearing ensued, Bob Stooch decided to take this gracious opportunity and be just his natural self with the most obnoxious response ever.
“Son, you must have a big dick.” he said with the lowest gurgling voice he could muster up.
Gustavio stopped his uncanny speech and looked over his shoulder in a gnarled look that clearly showed the several wrinkles across his brown face.
Mortified, his widened eyes made Bob grin with pleasure while the minted green mare’s right cheek twitched a little bit as her whole face became puzzled on the many routes this conversation has taken.
“W-w-what the buck did you say!” Gustavio spat.
“I said,” He walked over to the owner who was in front of his son. “You’re boy must have a big wiener.” he whispered.
“Why…I never-”
“Mr. Stooch is this really necessary?” The mare barked.
This caught them off guard momentarily.
Bob huffed and faced the mare with fixated eyes darted right at her own.
He was about to scream the loudest he possibly could, but then the memory of Royce fluttered through his head.
He fought the massive surge of intense hate moaning out of his mouth in just a nick of time.
“I thought this is what you wanted?”
The three other ponies looked at him in awe.
“W-what do you mean Mr. Stooc-”
He instantly shot her down, “As I recall? You told me to get rid of all these ponies so that we can have that chat. You can’t tell me that you were joking on kicking these poor ponies out on their backsides? Now could you…”
“I-”
“Good. I knew you seen reason. Now Mr. Gustavio I want you to leave this building for about twenty minutes, alright?” he stammered.
“But this is my shop! And this is my-” Bob simply put his forehoof up in the air.
“Listen! You can get nabbing pamby with me. Or you can take your little weight and your son’s dignity and fight with him elsewhere.
“I got no time for your shit right now because I’m dealing with important matters that could pertain the rest of Canterbury’s survival here. So get the fuck out!” With that hot topic thrown out in the open, he started shoving the owner and his son behind the counter and into the door that lead them to the kitchen.
“Hey don’t have to be so abrasive…” the kid cried out.
“And you shouldn’t be sneaking into your fathers shop with a fucking kremda la krem issue and fucking hoof cream you idiot!” Bob yelled back.
“Okay mister shouldn’t you stop with the angry slurs?” Gustavio said.
“What?! And stop being my own self!” Bob was baffled with this treachery. “Gosh you’re fucked in the head. Now get going hair-do!”
“At least don’t call my son a fucking idiot for Celestia sakes!” Gustavio barked.
“And you should’ve given him a room to masturbate in...tssk, tssk.” Bob snorted while folding his arms in lockdown mode.
“Fine. Fine have it your way Mr. Stooch but don’t expect to give you twenty percent deals off anymore, you cynical prick.” Gustavio grumbled.
“Hey what’s this shit you’re giving me here? I fucking told you no more insults or else you’ll get the backhoof like the whores of Canterlot’s underworld.
“Now give me a smoke!” he yelled out.
Bob referred to Gustavio’s son. His forehoof waved for the cigarettes that peeked out of the boys red shirts pocket.
“Me?!” the boy stuttered.
“Yeah you pre-pubes, what else?” Bob piped back.
“Dad?” the boy asked his father’s approval.
“Just do it son so we get this fucking clown out of here. I-I mean s-s-so we can get this fine gentlemen on his way sooner…” Gustavio stuttered.
“Man you really forget simple common courtesy, didn't you?” Bob shook his head in disappointment.
Gustavio swallowed a ball of saliva down his throat and flicked his tail up and down nervously. He watched in an envious manner at how this guy had bigger balls than he could ever hope to gain when forcing his son to do something.
“I’m fucking starting to run out you know.” the boy aggravated as he hoofed him two cigarettes.
“Ah fuck off,” he muttered back to the boy; swaying his forehoof inches away from the boy’s muzzle.
Bob Stooch put one cigarette over his ear while stuffing one between his lips. The taste of paper, nicotine and success mixed in with his saliva gave him a malicious grin over his muzzle.
He glanced over to the two frightened ponies in front of him. He simply swatted them off with his hoof and repeated his favorite words once more; “I said fuck off,”
Gustavio nudged his sons arm to get a move on and soon they were gone to the far end of the shop.
Bob chuckled too himself than walked back to the lone mare still sitting at the booth.
“Well I thought you would’ve certainly ditched me by now, missy?” he muffled with the cigarette in his mouth while offering her the second smoke over his ear.
She accepted, and so he passed her the smoke with his other empty forehoof.
She meekly took the kind gesture and asked for a light, he reached into his stray jacket’s pocket and placed the lighter within her forehoof.
She let it rip and in a minute, the whole room was blazed with smoke.
“So-” Bob coughed before beginning. “Start from the earliest knowledge you have in your thick blue skull, miss.”
The minted colored mare rolled her eyes to the overall vagueness this stallion always spoke with.
“It’s Ms. You redneck and listen here, alright-” the mare didn't get to finish.
“Hey! I can’t help it, I’m Europoniean. What do you expect?” Bob told her.
“Whatever look, listen to my bucking story alright?” she snapped back.
“So what story is it? You being the long lost mare that got raped by three other big gutted stallions or…” he chuckled out loud.
“Haha. Very funny, you know you should be in Comedy show-biz. I hear they have great theatre productions up in Seaddle.” she meekly replied as she turned her head in disbelief and discomfort.
“Hey thanks for the tip. I’ll make sure to send you a post-card when I become a big hit like Chaftle La Plump.” Bob said.
“Is this pony even real?” rolling her eyes, she ruffled with her mane to distract herself from Bob’s shenanigans.
“Well that’s his persona in Europonia. Really he’s just another working stiff making ends meet by working in dirty bars down in the slums. You know that’s where our little Black Plague started?
“Down in those infested, run down, and flooded slums. Fucking dirty you know, I hate to be one of those workers trying to fix the underground tunnels while having to deal with everyponys sewage. Eww.”
“Ah yes, now you’re starting to remember why I was here in the first place, right?” she grinned.
“No. You were here because stealing candy seemed a fucking better idea than taking from the local foods store. Plus I’m telling a great story, so why you got to ruin it for us?” Bob retorted.
“Us?” she asked. Her puffing was increasingly getting large with each minute.
“Yes us, because I am the law of this sad little hamlet. And it’s a hamlet that pays well so I will abide by the laws as if I was a serious stallion at this job.” Bob Stooch stated as he got more comfortable with his seat. The rubbing of leather across his back was unpleasing and a total nuisance to his posture.
“But you aren’t that serious, however…I’ve seen your work around this town, and let’s just say that getting drunk and blacking out on the street isn’t exactly official police duty.” she joked.
“Hey WHY I-” he stammered before being shot down by the mare police.
“I expected this from your other deputy, and might I say for both of you. That I’m quite shocked that no one has stolen your badge yet.” the mare cackled at the last part.
“Now missy, there are four things to remember here; one: I only took this job as temporary relief and two: That instantly meant that I shouldn’t have to risk my life over the line for.
“Three: It’s my way of living to get drunk and stoned once and a while, so fuck off right there. Four: Fuck off again and let’s get back into action as too why I am questioning you here on this beautiful day.”
“Yeah you are the total king of procrastinating…” she flatly stated.
“And you my young miss is a thieving bitch that wants nothing but candy and watching other mare’s rumps jiggle in the night as they walk through the bushes.” Bob giggled at his comical retort again.
“Buck, let’s just get this shit over with. You’re too fucked to insult and I still have a splitting head-ache of the way you hoofed those ponies back there.” she placed her forehooves over her head.
“Remember. You wanted to be the emotional-yet-drama queen drag of the hour, not me.” Bob reminded her of his reason for being a prick.
“GAH! Just shut up and interview me you half mixed, confused and deranged hermit!” she cried out.
“Hermit, is for ponies who are afraid to leave their houses at any time of the day. I only don’t like leaving when the rain falls down on my head.” he said.
“You. Are fucked. Okay?” the mare started off. “Just messed up and really somehow intellectual when you want to be. In a way that amazes me that somepony like yourself could be such a dick yet actually make sense out of any situation?”
Bob Stooch grinned and tilted his head to one side and gave a half surprised chuckle.
“I aim to please, execute and capture all glory for my own greedy selfish ways. So now are we going to discuss this thing or what?” he geared back the whole conversation to his favor once again.
“Okay, fine. Let’s do it.” she stammered.
“Good.” he snapped back.
“Something big went down in a small town, right? Something like a quarantine but it wasn’t a quarantine because there wasn’t anything to quarantine you see?” she was going down some nasty shit and she didn’t want to repeat herself.
“Yep, keep going.” Bob waved her off.
“Alright well something like. I’m not saying the Black Plague, but it was of similar circumstances.”
“Ever heard of a famous town in all of Equestria called Ponyville?”
“Can’t say I recall?” with his forehoof, he rubbed the hairs on his chin in small strokes. “Wait is it that one town with those pony celebrities?”
“There not celebrities and yes that’s the town were talking about.”
“Well I’ll be, is it the town with those err, I mean, whatcha call it….Elements of Horses?”
“Were ponies you dipshit.” she frowned.
“Ponies of honor? I mean! Elements of Honor…Or ponies?” Bob was lost with his words when it came with news around Equestria, shit. He couldn’t even remember something like Discord if it bit him on the rump.
“Gosh you’re really dumb. No! It’s pronounced the Elements of Harmony, and it’s their trademark for all of Equestria, really”
“Trademark? Like what. It’s fake or something? Wait what is even the Elements of Harmony anyway?” he moved closer to and cocked his to get the full scoop of this unheard of knowledge.
“Want the long story or the short story?” she asked him.
“Short, because scared pony and ejaculate pony are sure to be coming back any moment.” he grumbled.
“Suit yourself, grumpy old man.” the mare smirked.
“Shut up.” he shot back.
“Anyways, these ponies of various colors and special qualities all stopped a terrible old legend from reigning havoc on us ponies during one night in Ponyville.
“So in return, Celestia herself let Twilight Sparkle stay in Ponyville. And take over Celestia and her sisters old worn out Elements of Harmony and breathe new life to the old vintage pieces..”
“Want me to continue?” she frowned again.
“Yeah. Fuck it,” he responded, “just make it snappy though.”
“Twilight made friends with these other ponies and together they created a new set of Elements to keep the peace within Ponyville and spread love and harmony throughout the country.” she spoked with glee and half joked on the matter.
“You really want me to continue so more?” she politely asked again.
“Just shoot!” Bob slapped his forehooves on the table in aggravation.
“Well despite them being the ‘Elements’. They are still just a fad too me personally – meaning they’ll fade within time. Because they aren’t like alicorns, well...
“One is, but they won’t live past ninety years. I firmly believe that because nopony has gone past hundred and twenty except the alicorns race; and they live over thousands of years. So why in Tartarus these five mares should be treated any differently?”
“So I assume Twilight Sparkle is the alicorn of the bunch; and the head honcho of the group?” he puffed his cigarette once more before shoving the butt onto the table. The ashes sizzled as the smoke in the nicotine finally huffed out its last breath.
“Correct.” the mare spoke proudly.
“Wait, now this is making some sense to me. Is this mare, lavender purple coating?” he questioned.
“Yes.” she took one long puff before placing the cigarette back into her mouth.
“And does this mare happen to know a special pony like that prissy Princess Celestia,”
“Definitely.” she gloomed.
“Well I’ll be. So then, what’s the issue with the infamous Elements that makes you cringe with disdain?”
“It’s not that I don’t like them, I just think that Celestia isn’t being fully honest with honesty; get it?”
“No. No I don’t.” Bob Stooch shook his head.
“Look, do they really know what goes on past this country? No they probably don’t. Do they know what the world does, outside this fake loving Equestria? No they probably don’t.
“You know why? It’s because Celestia is a cynical and close minded pony, stuck in her menopause phase that had already ended when she past 2,000 years old, that’s what.”
“So you think that Celestia is hiding the world’s problems in a box: And in that box is the solid truth of what everypony goes through every day.” Bob confronted her.
“Yep, and some would think that a Princess like Twilight Sparkle would know a thing or two about the wars, conflicts, prejudices and diseases.”
She paused, and took a deep breath and one final swig with her cigarette before upheaving this big grand finale of news. She puffed again, then began. “Not to mention something big like the plague that is sweeping up this nation!”
“Good gravy fuck! What are you saying?” he slammed the table with his forehooves.
“I’m saying that you might be right about that theory of yours.” she half-jokingly stated.
“About the Black Plague? You know, maybe that is a slight too much.
“I mean sure it could play the role to whatever went down in Ponyville, but that plague would’ve been well documented. Celestia would’ve told everypony by now. So why the whole silence act?”
“It’s not because of a silence act. It’s because there is no ponies there to begin with!” she now slammed her forehooves onto the table. Her eyes veered directly at him with an evil of her own.
“Wait wha-”
“Whatever went down there is gone. Whatever happened there has now charted off the map. The only thing that is left there is dead ponies and a burned out village.” she admitted.
“What murdered the ponies?” he cocked an eyebrow and rested his spine back onto the unforgiving leather.
“No one knows. Nopony in all of Equestria truly knows what happened down there.
“The only traces of evidence were shuffled hoof printings in all areas of Ponyville. Trotting off to different corners of Equestria!”
Bob Stooch let her continue.
“Plus the weirdest part was that several of the deceased ponies’ family members were mysteriously gone without a trace.”
“Why like some group went in and stole large quantities of able bodied ponies and slaughtered the rest?”
“Well, it might be like that. But here is where the Black Plague comes into effect.” she starts off.
“Whatever killed those ponies down there had not only murdered them. But they had literally eaten large amounts of their flesh,
I’m talking entire chucks ripped out. Entire vital organs ripped out from their stomachs and all that was left was a lot of bones. Tartarus! Even the fucking bones were gnawed until pony teeth markings were imprinted onto hundreds of the said bones.” her face furrowed.
“The fuck? None of that shit happened in Europonia let me tell you, missy!”
“Okay, enlightened me Mr. Smartass.”
“Well alright, here is the true bit. The ponies that originally stumbled with the infection could only infect its hosts with a lethal dose of passing the germs of one’s cough or rarely even. Blood transfusion with the said health-free pony,”
“Continue.”
“And when these symptoms occurred. Then the only way you could tell is if there was bugs swatting over the diseased ponies and that they are induced with immense anger like grabbing random objects that would either be household items or simple garbage can on the street.
“It didn’t matter to them, they were already gone after the second stage had passed. Then they would have used these said objects as means to harm any healthy pony walking down the street and beat them to a pulp. Or in worse cases…until they were dead.”
“Not that abrasive eating one another shit theory you have cooked up in your sugar-coated-amped-up-head.”
“Well, that could have be true back in your homeland. Then explain why hasn’t our little white Princess bothered to even make an appearance and discuss the matter openly and publicly?”
“I don’t know?! I’m not exactly friends with the dumb mare, why? Are you?” Bob scolded.
“No. Just adding on to your original statement as too why she hasn’t been open about this plague – if this plague is the official problem, I mean.” she cooed.
“Well alright, fairs fair. So tell me then? Who was your damsel in distress or prince charming that fed you all this hooey then?”
“My friend who was in close relations with one of the ponies there.”
“Who might that be?”
Just then, Gustavio screeched back in with the most baritone yell that could’ve sent shivers down to any pony within the room. If that pony wasn’t Bob Stooch.
“Get the fuck out of here!”
“ALRIGHT you greasy, big gurgling, hot dog bun bastard, you want to take this!” Bob Stooch screamed back as he jumped out of his seat in a steed of rage. He then raised both of his forehooves in the air. His forehooves arched up like ready aimed spears darting down a beeline for a ponies head.
“I’m Serious! I don’t want your gossip here anymore and I DON’T FUCKING CARE about your little weight! Come on, you want this to happen?!” he too followed the same path and waved his forehooves up in the air like a madpony bent out of Tartarus.
“For fuck sakes you two blubbering idiots! Just deal with this and stop the whole testosterone shit!” the mare yelled out as she slumped out of her seat.
She decided to stay in the back of the two bulls but still holler out to them in hopes of not seeing a quick-painful bloodbath.
“Hold on there, dried up missy! I got to take this little beef patty to the other side of my fist!”
“What?” the mare irked.
“Huh?!” Gustavio muttered.
“…J-just go with it for fuck sakes!” Bob yelled back before he ripped out his baton from his long stray jacket and cracked the guy in the hind leg.
“Awe fuck!” Gustavio cried out before falling down to the floor, withering in pain.
“There. That is for threatening an officer of the law, and that is for fucking up our conversation you half deaf moron!” Bob Stooch crouched down and fetched the hostile guy off the ground and onto his hooves.
He put one forehoof over his back and said some more nasty words.
“What are you, fucking hostile? Gonna give me the riff of hour here. Man you aren’t smart, you know?”
“What do you mean?” Gustavio crackled in his hoarse voice while trying to force his whole body back from the slightest tear from escaping his shuttered body.
“What I mean is, that why are you working at a silly bakery shop when you are meant to be a dick! That’s what!”
“Hey fuck you cheese cloth!” Gustavio spat back in his face.
“Yeah, fuck I is right. I will never, ever, ever order your cheese flavored baked bread again!” he furiously stated while shaking Gustavio profusely.
“Yeah well I’m not selling you shit either, buddy.” Gustavio retorted.
“Yeah well, I hope you are happy because no one here likes your shit flavored Boston cream donuts anyways.” he wiped the spit off his face and only needed one more outburst before his fuse was burned.
“Ah fuck off. You incessant prick.” Gustavio sneered.
“Prick’s my middle name bud.” he snickered before chucking Gustavio back into the kitchen with brute force. Gustavio slammed through the doors and went head-first into the checkered pattern floor. His blood and one tooth had ejected from his muzzle before splaying all across the floor that his widened eyes stared in horror at the blood of his own mouth. His snout was broken in two from the impact. The snot mixed in with his blood created an awful smell to his scent. The pain throbbed and made a groove indent feeling throughout his muzzle.
Coughing and wheezing, he had more sores than he suffered since his days as a labor worker. A swollen and bruised up hind-leg. A tattered and torn face, and small cuts aligned around his pudgy brown face. Adding in his broken snout fared no better for this stallion.
Unfortunately it wouldn’t be his last for the night, as then Bob Stooch busted his ass through the door and stared down at him with the blackest eyes that this Earth pony has ever seen.
He had an epitome of a bruiser in the south. He had the fixed look of a madpony and a drunk. Though he didn’t get drunk until after work nowadays; this night might prove otherwise after he was done fixing up his new friend here.
The mint coated mare stared in shock at the door in front of her, and the noises that ensued behind it. Unmerciful beating was taking place and the loud cackles of a weak man were being squawked out in an irregular fashion.
Bob Stooch wasn’t a man of fighting, nor was he the stallion to make such off moves. But this dick has proven too much on his long fuse, and now Bob was blistering to spur large amounts of excess of pure indefinite rage.
“Yeah you like that, bitch! You fucking like that! You’re going to suck my cock after this, you skinny little weasel! You’re going to ravish and choke the shit out of it, aren’t you! Fucking grease prick, you go and wreck up my interview and now you plan on insulting and beating the shit out of me? I thought you were a man of your word!”
“Mister please no! I’m sorr-AHHHHHHHHHHH-AHHHHHHHH”
Just then Bob Stooch grabbed Gustavio wrist and snapped it in two with his hoof. He had repeatedly stomped the wrist until it was broken in two, he wasn’t like his Russian counterparts when it came to military punishment. But he was very close into turning one.
The scream was so loud that every pony around the same street would’ve heard. Not to mention that Gustavio’s kid had to hear the horror ensue also.
“AHHHHH-HAHHHHHHHH-AHHHHHHH” Gustavio screeched and screamed until his face was purely swollen from the hot dry tears dripping down his face.
“Gee man you yell way to fucking much!” Bob Stooch mouthed off.
“Crook cop is right I say.” the mare walked through the door and boringly stated.
“I isn’t a crook missy! Just this dick fucked it all up. I mean I didn’t even get my dick sucked!”
“Wait you were serious?!” the mare stared in disbelief and her forehoof motioned for the metal bar to hold her body from falling backwards.
“Well fifty-fifty you see. I mean, I was going to but then…fuck it’s a stallion alright! I couldn’t exactly get my hard on yet, now could I?! So I tried thinking of Danish mares and it could’ve worked, but fuck man!”
“Well let’s not dwell on that fucked up topic about you experimenting with bisexuals here, alright. So when are we getting back to the interview here?”
“I don’t fucking know? When this idiot stops bellowing his heart out like a stallion at lost for his mare, how would I fucking know?!”
“Well you bucking damaged this poor guy up. You bucking damaged his wrist, his face – I mean look at the fucking thing! Dimwitted idiot I can’t believe he suffered all those cuts from an old motherfucker like yourself. What ar-”
“Why are you saying buck?! Just say fuck for fuck sakes!” he blurted out as a tactic to let the procrastination take over.
“Well maybe I don’t want to say fuck all the time, how about that!” she feuded.
“Well maybe you should! It would certainly take that stick out of your ass and you could use it to beat ponies to death with it.” he was totally hazing her to save his own shame.
“I can’t believe I’m still getting the shit treatment from the alcoholic!” she sneered, her forehoof slammed on top of the counter to the right of her that was a mere few feet from the door.
“Hey! That’s pretty low, bro.” Bob said in irritation.
“What?! Low as in the damage you caused onto that poor man, or low as in what I said?” she reasoned with this stubborn cop to see her ways.
“Low as in what you said of course!” he retorted before some figures shadow caught out from the corner of his eye. Some delusional, crazed and clearly madpony that only wanted blood after the crap he just had to endure to not only save his own skin. But to save his opponents skin too.
“Missy watch out!” he yelled out to her.
Just then Mark Gustavio leaped off the ground on his two hind-legs while his other good arm wielded a cleaver in one forehoof. How he got the cleaver is something no one will ever know.
He lunged forward right into the direction of the mare and within a second and half before, Bob Stooch wrapped his arms around the mare’s waist and threw his whole weight against hers to land on the floor. A big crashing sound erupted with the impact of the ponies crushing throw down.
Soon backup noises dropped out of all corners as it clamored throughout the room in a monotonous long drone, vibrating through the walls and creases. Before making its way into the main lobby and the storage rooms behind the kitchen. All adding the fuel to the fire was the several small to large utensils and other assorted baking materials that fell off cooking racks, shelves and counter tops.
Gustavio went head first through the door, breaking it open. A loud crack unearthed inside the door as the hinges snapped off the wall with the handle bending downward. Face planted in, his cheeks scrunched into the door while his body fell on top of his good arm. Looking like a drunk that passed out from eating alcohol chocolate filled bars. Unfortunately for Gustavio’s sense of manhood, he wallowed once more in pain at the failure he protruded onto himself.
Bob Stooch was hunched over the female pony, bewildered with the fast-paced events; she took a glance around the scene and only noticed the fallen cooking objects, the broken door and the stallion on top of her. Her eyes veered to the chest hairs on his coat. But not directly that but the warm, alive, pulsating sexual organ that rested comfortably on her kneecap. It was nothing other than Bob Stooch brown penis and ball sack. His slithering yet soft piece of meat with his mounds of pubic hair ruffled back and forth together with her clean cut mint green coat as she shuffled her leg into a better position. His long sheath could feel the twists and turns the mare was pulling.
Her thoughts whickered as she sighed heavily in both shock and felicity. She clamped the tip of her tongue with her lips and let the saliva roll down off her tongue, into her throat. Her mane had drifted into her eyes but she didn’t care at all.
She sighed once more and the last bits of nicotine trickle up and down her throat while she contemplated the urge of wanting that alive piece of stallion inside of her.
Her merriment mind continued the extravagant thought for another moment. The idea of Mr. Stooch’s shaft rubbing the insides of her before shooting a big wad of luscious cum aroused this mint coated mare to the point that she could literally do this male body right here in the kitchen of a bakery shop.
Taking a few more puffs, she placed one forehoof over the side of Mr. Stooch and unearthed her other forehoof that was stuck behind her back. She then lifted it over the stallions shoulder before taking the second forehoof and applying the same treatment.
Her eyes clocked with her head as she turned to face the stallion. Unfortunately the idea of her straddling the ponies legs into place while she would insert his long vibrating stimulating warm piece of hot meat down her vagina, turning semi-hard to a full on erection. Would be short live as her eyes blinked in unison with the passed out pony on top of her.
The thoughts of letting vivid memories of wet sticky and warm cum leaking out inside of her was cut short to the snoring pony on top of her. No one knew if this moment could’ve happen because by that point she frantically shoved the stallion off her and onto the dirty tattered floor.
Bob Stooch instantly woke up to the wakeup call, and not because of the semi hard-on he was getting nor it wasn't anything to really worry. Because despite his large size and the pent up juices flowing for a piece of sweet wet mare ass. This wouldn't have been much of an issue with anyone or anything because the job was his main focus.
With a face of half-embarrassment and half diligence to prove that crazed bakery owner wrong, he slugged himself off the ground and immediately asked if the mare was fine.
She blankly nodded and got on her four hooves dismissively to walk out of the shop – not out of the whole scene, though that did play its role. But out of embarrassment for letting her emotions get the better of her. So what if she craved for a bit of stallion once and a while. She’s just being primitive to her natural instincts as the rest of the ponies across the world were.
He called out for her once more, not out of what had happened during their initial meet over an hour ago. But out of them being perhaps close acquaintances.
“Wait!”
The mare stopped, she huffed a growl before turning her body around to face the stallion.
“Yes?” she scolded with her head kept down during the whole event.
Bob Stooch walked close to her, within a foot of one another. He was about to pat this frail looking mare that looked more weak than what she portrayed earlier.
The mare grudgingly whipped his arm out of her personal space, he sighed and looked into her eyes. She turned her head up for him, a weak smirk quickly appeared before dissipating behind her black-riddled soul.
He struggled to find the words and thus only stuttered as he spoke his mind.
“Listen, err, I mean, I…look missy, I’m sorry about that. But…two questions, okay?”
“Shoot.” she mumbled.
“Did you live in Ponyville?” Bob questioned her.
“That is completing none of your business, Mr. Stooch!”
“I-I-I-I’m, I’m sorry Ms.?”
“Just forget it Mrs. Stooch! Whatever interview we had or are ever going to have is now forever over and done. I hope you have a good day, because we are now through with this shit.”
She stomped her way out of the kitchen and walked through the messing lobby entrance, it was filled with flipped over tables of carnage, loose material scattered around both rooms and a broken down door facing behind the mare’s rump.
She heard the click of the exit door excerpt the noise of freedom, but not before Bob Stooch yelled across the both rooms once more for her last response.
“What’s your name then?” he raised his voice so both can hear one another.
No reply but dark sickness of silence pepped the room into complete, utter darkness. A real Claustraophic feel for both parties.
A littlest yet most determined, focused, sober tone Bob has ever heard since the two first met not so long ago. “Lyra. My name is Lyra.”
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uh... Lyra is a mint green unicorn who is characterized by the fandom as being obsessed with humans.
as you can see in the pic provided; lyra is the mint green pony on the left sitting like a human.
on the right sitting like a normal pony is the cyan pony i was picturing in my mind when reading your story.
images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130126131636/mlp/images/b/bb/Lyra_Heartstrings_sitting_on_a_bench_like_a_human_S01E07.png
dat plot.
3472645
Alrighty I'll change it.
Sooo, how was the plot?!!!
nice
3472666
You really aren't supportive you know.
Please be specific dude.
3472666
I'm going to call you by your name if you don't give me a conclusive feedback, right now bro.
the plot as it seems is progressing smoothly as far as i can tell.
like we figure out something fucked up happened ponyville worse than tequila tuesdays with bob and royce on shrooms and crystal meth, then before anymore relevant information can be uttered to my waiting eyes we see the absolute living shit get kicked out of this random baker who fuckes up any retaliation, then we see some weird ass clop tease, then part ways after the interrogation moment is gone.
sounds like a good chapter to me.
3472727
Knowing you wrote that made it even more funny, man.
Thanks dude!