Inside a large white room, there was a glass cell with one concrete wall. A dragon laid in a bed-like chamber with glass over it. The dragon had purple scales and green spikes. He was barefoot and wearing an orange jumpsuit.
The glass over the drake opened. He got up from the bed, and six voices said, "Hello, and welcome!"
"Where the heck am I?" The dragon asked as he rubbed his eyes.
"You are in the Aperture Science Detention Center," a timid voice said.
'How did I get here...and why am I here? the dragon thought. He hit his knuckles on his head and thought. 'Come on, what happened before you got here?' He pondered a bit then he started to worry. 'I can't remember a thing!'
"Hey, are you are okay?" a commanding voice asked.
Spike snapped out of his thoughts and replied, "Yeah, I’m fine." He narrowed his eyes. “Wait, how can you see me? I can’t see how you can.”
"Well... there are cameras in the rooms," the timid voice replied.
"Well, it’s time to get up sleepy head!" an energetic voice said. "Better grab the advanced knee replacements in your room."
"Are these the things you are talking about?" he asked before putting bracelet with longs black curves on his legs.
"Yes, those are them, darling" A sophisticated voice said.
"Okay, I have them on. Now, how in the world to do I get out of here?"
"Open a portal in your room now, Spike," a know-it-all voice said. An orange, swirling vortex appeared on the concrete wall.
“Is that me? Is my name Spike?”
“Yes, your name is Spike. Any other questions?”
"How do you how know my name?" the dragon asked.
"It’s in your records, partner," a girl with a southern accent answered.
"Can you tell me why I am in here, and about my past?"
"Sorry, but we only know your name," the timid voice said.
'Damn'. The dragon cursed in his mind; a blue vortex appeared outside the room. Spike noticed the orange vortex was showing what the blue portal is facing. "Wow," Spike said while putting his hand through the orange portal, and seeing it through the blue ovular portal on the other end. It was then Spike stepped through the orange vortex.. He saw a circular door and started walking towards it.
"So what are your names?" Spike asked as he walked.
The girl with the southern accent was the first to respond. "My name is Apple Jack, but you can call me AJ."
"I’m Rainbow Dash!" the commanding voice announced.
"My name is Pinkie Pie!" the overly happy voice cheered.
"Umm... I’m Fluttershy," the timid voice said.
"My name is Rarity." The sophisticated voice replied.
"And I am Twilight Sparkle." The know-it-all voice said. Just after Twilight stated her name, Spike arrived at a circle door. The door opened automatically, and he walked through. He saw a big red button in a white room and glass cylinder on the ceiling with a gray cube within. Spike walked over to and stood on the the big red button. When he stepped on it, the door opened. Spike started to walk towards the door, but the door closed when he got off the button.
"You must be thinking, 'How can I get out of here?'" Rainbow Dash said.
"The cube in the cylinder will help you," Pinkie Pie said before Spike could answer. "Well, let’s just get it out of its prison." After she spoke, the cylinder's bottom opened, and the cube fell on the floor with a dull thud. Spike walked over to it, and grabbed it. He walked back over to the button, and placed the cube on it. The door opened. As he made his way to the opened door, he saw there was a blueish wall and an elevator. Spike walked through the wall without harm and continued to the elevator.
"What did I just walk through?" Spike asked.
"Oh... that is the particle field," Twilight answered as the elevator doors closed. "It will only harm anything that wasn't made to go through."
The elevator started to rise.
"There are some side effects."Fluttershy said.
"What are they?" Spike asked as he leaned on the elevator wall.
"Loss of bone marrow, loss of teeth, loss of skin, and thirst for blood," Rainbow Dash said. When she finished, the elevator door opened.
Spike walked through the opened door, and turned the corner to see concrete and glass walls. He saw through the glass to see a cube on his left, a button on his right, and in front of him was the door. Spike turned around to see a blue portal.
"This is just like the first test, but with PORTALS! So get the cube, and put it on the button. Don't worry, the portal will change." Pinkie Pie said cheerfully. Spike just shrugged. He saw the cube on the other side of his swirling door. He walked through the portal, grabbed it, and walked out.
He waited for a while until the button was right in front of him.When he reached the button, he placed the cube on it.
"I hope you were paying attention because you won’t be getting much help after this," Twilight said.
"Okay..." Spike said, disappointed, while waiting for the door to appear in front of him.
"Well, we kind of have to. So you just have to deal with it," Rainbow Dash said. The portal showed the opened door as she finished. Spike walked through the portal, the door, and the particle field. Finally, he entered the elevator. The elevator closed its doors. Spike went to the wall and leaned against it. As theelevator started to rise, Rainbow Dash spoke once more,"If you are wondering, no, you can't breathe fire in here because not every room has sprinklers." Spike gave a thumbs up.
why doesn't he just chew through a wall and burrow his way to the sruface?
4551455 first the walls are too thick second they are not trying to kill him yet.
4551511 he can eat stone and necromnomicons dude.
4551521 ok but then he have to eat a crap tun of it.
4551527 fire breath well dude. he could alternatively just claw through it by softening it with his flames first. since he bathed in lava once, it probably could not hurt him.
4551542 still he is deep deep deep under ground. About a mile acutely. And don't say "Spike will just pore through" no he can't when he can't find enough space to tunnel up with finding gapes. If you still doubt me watch any game play from portal's second half or parts of portal 2 you see when I say gaps.
4551584 a mile compared to an extra durable little dragon with claws and teeth that make short work of solid stone and a mil beneath the earth............ not exactly that much especially if we are talking about escaping this crazy place.
4551626 Well Spike can get killed because he might not know were he is diving is strong enough to hold him or a hight that will tun him into paste.
4551626 Well, Spike doesn't know of any ill intentions yet. Once he discovers that they are after his blood, don't see any reason of why not play along for the moment, especially given his confused state. once they try to kill him, yes, he should be able to escape failry easy form them.
I have a spike story where spike goes into a place where he CA. Easily escape (I didn't posture). You just have to Max put apatute so he can't escape if he wanted to. Armor piercing rounds in cannons, twilight sedated and held hostage, a free sex ticket from rarity if he makes it through without cheating, ect.
4553884 The mIan six are not ponies they are machines
4554711 like my little portal on YouTube?
Okay.
4554954 ya. But they are the same type of machine.
4551626 do note Spike has amnesia.
4561178 manesia does not prevent one from knowing what they are.
4561201 here is the defshion of amnesia
a partial or total loss of memory.
So you might not remember what your species can do
4562491 instincts? noticing your hands have powerful claws at the end of them?
4562505 well when you punch something how do you know what you are punching won't brake his hand? Or what on the other side of the wall won't kill him? How will he know if he punches it goes on the other side won't blow up?
4562524 he wouldn't go around punching stuff. just notice the claws are somehow scrapping metal or steel easily......
then again i kinda compare him to the Gargoyles for some reason so.... shrugsw.
4562554 ok then what happens what he screeches won't go kill him or lead to a room that will kill him? Apture science has is vary deep. In the game portal 2 you see that the only way out of of Aputure is a an escape hatch in Glados' chamber. AND Spike can't tunnel up with out finding holes that he might fall and turn himself into paste from the fall.
Bare foot
six voices with s lowercase
Center with c capitalized
how do I get out of here
know-it-all
A less awkward phrasing could be "Then a blue oval, most likely the portal the know-it-all was talking about, appeared on one of the rooms concrete walls."
You mixed up the colors of the portals.
"When he was out of the glass prison he was in, he saw a circler door and started to go towards it."
This story would benefit from an editor, if you can find one. At the very least, come back to the chapters later to see if you missed something. You barely describe the rooms. Some people may never have played the Portal games so you need to describe the rooms. Is there a layer of dust in the rooms? Are there nicks and scratches on the walls or is the room pristine? Using contractions will help the voice of the story feel more natural instead of not using contractions which makes the voice choppy and emotionless, unless that was what you were going for. All in all, this is a not bad story but it isn't good.