• Member Since 3rd Jun, 2014
  • offline last seen Dec 21st, 2023

Strawberryjuice


I am always online, even when I am not.

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A stallion named Quill Flow moves to ponyville and meets with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who are suprised to meet an adult who doesn't have a cutie mark.

This is the background story of my OC Quill Flow. This is also a story I've had bouncing around in my head for a while, so I finally decided to write it. I'm not sure if this story's been done before but it's very much possible. In that case, I apologize.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 6 )

I'm writing a kind of similar story as we speak, hence my enthusiasm! This is amazing!!

4568389 Thanks :D I read your story and absolutely loved it, had to favorite.

4570578 I kind of love you :pinkiegasp: let's be friends

Only a few issues. The format of the first half of the story is off. The quotation marks are all facing the same direction. Next issue is you got the word "knew" and "new" confused a couple of times.

The last problem is a common one among new writers. Every time a new character speaks, you start a new paragraph.

"But all ponies get their marks eventually." Twilight explained. "Well I didn't.". Quil Flow shot back.

The above bit should be broken like this.

"But all ponies get their marks eventually." Twilight explained.
"Well I didn't.". Quil Flow shot back.

That is all I can think to point out. Your story was good with a nice theme to it. Keep at it.

4796148 Thank you : ) Constructive criticism is always welcome. But honestly, I can't see the quotation mark problem, and I don't know how to fix it?

Also, I already knew the paragraph thing from all the books I read, I just never remember to use it in my stories for some reason :derpytongue2:

I really need an editor to help with these things.

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