Twilight and friends are called to Canterlot after an incident on the northern coast.
"They came from the blackness."
(Note: there are no cannon sea ponies so all underwater characters are oc's)
Credit for pic goes to Krekka01
P.S. this has nothing to do with my Dimensional Chronicles fic.
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It's a little short, a bit too fast paced and at times I didn't really understand what was happening. As of right now I would give it about a 3 star, but I'll wait to see where you're going to go with it. It does have it's strong points, one being it does have a nice hook to get me to want to read more. Maybe just improve on some more detail. This is all just my opinion, I am in no way a professional writer.
I like what you have thus far
23307 The lack of detail was on purpose.
You're not supposed to know what exactly going on yet.
23359 Ah, well you still might want to work on a little clarity. Other than that, It's pretty good ^^
I'm DEFFINATELY going to read this!
@Dragon You read my mind.*BROHOOF*
People, why you no comment?
Um.... "I can't believe I didn't see Takadox being the traitor coming"? What in the heck is that? How about, "I can't believe I didn't see Takadox's treachery earlier"?
huh i was thinking of making a barrki crossover once im done with operation ponyville
when is the next update
1312195 I have no idea.
Writers Block sucks.
I like your story, I put it in my Bionicle Crossovers group, you can join it if you want
link
Was that Mantax?
2626172 Yep. In all honesty, it's really easy to describe any one of these quys as some kind of hellbeast. Except maybe Ehlek, he's just a little too over the top spiny, throw in those claws and he looks a bit goofy to tell the truth.
So they encountered Mantax, When should Carapar appear? Would Takadox ever escape from his prison?
Was that Pridak or a squid ammo?
3114552 That bit the boat in half? Neither, that was a Colossal Squid.
3114545 To answer the last question. No. Because I hate him and at this point there would be no reason for him to show up for another 70,000 years.
3119133 So he was left for dead? Takadox was is actually kind of cool. I'm trying to hope Carapar appears.
3119240Carapar was sucked through the gate with the others, so yes he's here, in fact I may make him the next Barraki the poor Equestrian Military encounters. Takadox was left to try and find a way out of his cage without the help of Carapar.
Hello Vicron. I will admit i have been waiting for a crossover between the barraki and my little pony. I just want to know when you will update again because its been a little over a year since you updated
by the way, will you feature 'Creeping in my Soul' before the ponies meet the barraki?
3543467 Sorry about that, I've been having computer troubles almost constantly.
Someone please get Hydraxon in this!!!!
He was awesome....
Update pwease?
I really want this awesome story to continue!!!!!!!!!!!