It was...okay. I found myself looking up a few words, and its way too descriptive. You've earned a like.

5164122

Thank you...

5164238 I just reccomend describing less, and use more common words. Overall good story though.

5164293

I understand...

5164440 The ellipses makes me think that I've made you sad...I'm sorry...

5164655

I'm not sad, I just prefer not to speak that much...

5164879 Ok.

5164883

5164891 I just noticed Carrot Top and Derpys mouths are open in the characters thing

5164927

Yeah, it was already like that before I wrote the story.

5164122
I have to disagree with you. The more descriptive the writing, the better it is. I will say that you don't want to use too many complex words in a story like this...if it was longer, then it would be fine, but in a short one shot, keep the complex words on the down low. Besides that, I found the descriptions to be a much needed breath of fresh air from some of the other stories that I have read...and even written.
Normally, I don't give a score, but for this, I give it a 9.5/10 Great job

5232878 To be honest..,if you want descriptive...read the comic...

5232878

Thanks; it's been a long time since I heard such praise...

5233543
This is based off the comic correct?

8642620

Exactly...