• Member Since 1st Dec, 2014
  • offline last seen Jan 27th, 2015

The orky brony


I like oc's and teleporting bread. Also WAAAGH!

T

Celestia has always wanted the best for her precious little ponies, however when a leader of a powerful nation starts to question her methods of taking out her enemies the princess's nation is threatened with war if things do not change...but Celestia has a different idea. (I had no idea what tags to use in this scenario, so alt universe cause cogdon is not a real place in the cannon, and slice of life because I don't know what the fuck else to put down...)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )

Then Blueblood comes in a ruins everything! The story is good and all but it would have been better not ending it there.

5335836
Gladly noted. Thank you kind sir. I can edit it and try to make it much much longer, however this story is not at all completed, I just now realized I clicked the wrong button.

Lots of potential, but it badly needs heavy editing. Definitely a beta.

5336003
Yep. Any tips for me? I'm a bit of a noob. :(

5336003
Or do you know a good editor? Sorry for double comments...forgot to add that part...sorry...

5336017 what works for me is editing on paper. I may type on a computer, but I print out my drafts and attack it with great prejudice. But I'm also a blogger, so I cannot afford to lose readers due to bad grammar and/or improper spelling. Admittedly, I do have issues with verb tense. Unedited works can turn off potential readers, despite how titillating the plot may be. And I hold firm: this story has a lot of potential. It just needs polish and perhaps some work on pacing (story outlines are a writer's best friend). The first chapter came off like a prelude, so I thought the letters were enough.

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/197652/thardocs-editing-corner Here's an editing "group" if you're interested.

There were a couple points where you failed to capitalize the letter 'i' when it was part of a contraction like I'm. A helpful tip is to build a habit of manually capitalizing 'i' whenever it is used as a pronoun, that way you do not have to worry about the spell checker not auto-correcting it.

[ctrl]+[f] to find any time you said black gold. It is a name and both words should be capitalized.

5335927 OK then. And is miss not sir.

Writer here, I decided I'm going to change the first chapter to something completely different and make it more of a prequel to before they reached Canterlot to slightly build on the world of Cogdon.

Nice, please carry on, i really want to see the expresion of the main six, or twiligth when they see the king, please dont let these storie to die i am starting to see the awesome potential in the storie

Please dont let the storie die

Comment posted by The orky brony deleted Jan 19th, 2015
Comment posted by The orky brony deleted Jan 19th, 2015

5429266 so happy the storie have potential

Comment posted by The orky brony deleted Jan 19th, 2015
Comment posted by The orky brony deleted Jan 19th, 2015
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