The sexiest man you've ever met.
Celestia and Luna were once foals, and as all foals do, they had a natural aptitude for casual slaughter.
On a stuffy, hot summer day, two fillies go out from their home and find a brook to play in. When they leave the brook that afternoon, they do not leave empty-hoofed. Afterwards, Celestia achieves something incredible while Luna silently watches on.
Page generated in 0.115 seconds
Total duration
880 users online
1,791,642 hits today, 2,707,512 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Cute in a weird way. A nice little one shot to get me through class.
I'm...not sure how I feel about this. Seriously. I just...
Wow.
I take it you aren't on Team Luna.
I know the kind of story you're going for, the literary epiphany story. I think this is very close, and written very well, but the story doesn't set up for the ending line that it arrives at. Luna now hates her sister (well, she thinks she does)--but we don't know how she felt about Celestia before. Her parents were not close and were not watching--but she'd already decided she didn't believe she had parents. She didn't need anyone--but Luna didn't think about needing Celestia before. She thought that they didn't need anyone else, but not why or whether she needed Celestia. So you've got a big epiphany at the end, but it doesn't change anything as far as we know.
There's 2 incidents of salamander-killing instead of 1, which seems odd, or at least inefficient. It seems like killing salamanders out of spite would be the kind of thing she'd do after her epiphany rather than before it; this way, it just makes it seem like nothing's changed. I don't understand why she'd be that kind of pony in the first place. It isn't something that most little kids do.
I'd probably cut "everything had changed". It doesn't add anything, and weakens the rest of the sentence.
Usually this type of story doesn't switch viewpoints. I'm not saying it shouldn't; just that I haven't seen it done.
Hmm.
That last paragraph. Just, wow.
... Dark.
I wrote a review of this story. It can be found here.
Why did they catch the salamanders? And why did they not bring them in where it was cool? If Luna had wanted to play with salamanders so much I don't understand why she was more interested in killing them.
Otherwise, haunting. I like it.
Well someone would take a shining to Cormac McCarthy's Outer Dark and he overloaded the hoofbiting action
Disappointing