• Member Since 4th Jun, 2015
  • offline last seen Dec 15th, 2020

Zoetic Zebra


Hello you horse lovers! I'm a pegasister who was forced into the fandom and refuses to leave! You guys all rock!

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Source

Behind the smoke and mirrors, Trixie has a gift. A talent for spells and a desire to be the best. But after years of scorn, tragedy, and humiliation, how did this mage truly become a villain?

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 4 )
Comment posted by Sdrawkcabsitxetsiht deleted Jun 5th, 2015

Pretty decent. Keep going.

In the interest of helping, I'll try for a little advice:
Firstly, I get the feeling that you haven't proofread much. Just watch out for a few capitalizations. Plus, if you read it over, you'll learn how to transition between things a little better, as well as simple formatting errors.
On that subject, I can see that the things you want to have happen aren't always meshing together super well. A single moment can say many different things if everything comes together just right.
You aren't bad with words, though! Don't be afraid to use more of them.

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