Spike: The Dragon Princess

by IndiBrony

Epilogue

A mysterious, shadowed figure cautiously made its way through a cold, dark hallway. The translucent curtains drawn across the windows made the colourfully tinted light so dim that features were nigh impossible to make out.

"You're here..." a familiar female voice echoed throughout the room. "Report."

"The Princess failed." the unknown figure responded with a deep, booming voice. "Almost everything unfolded as it should, bar a few circumstances. Espoir created conflict as instructed. Depaix was thrown from power, but unfortunately, Duciel and Nett were not dealt with and took control after his banishment."

"What happened?"

"The King fought back more valiantly than expected, Nett escaped, and Duciel was nowhere to be seen."

"And the map had already informed Twilight of the danger by this point?"

"Correct."

"What happened when she arrived?"

"Nett kidnapped Spike and placed him on the throne in place of the missing Princess, causing some... difficulties; it would be impossible for the Captain to assume control with both Nett and Duciel in the palace. Our only option was to escalate the situation. Espoir provoked King Lydda and his men to attack. The Dragon Realm was on its knees until the Captain came to finish the job. The Manifest Crystals we held should have given us a clear advantage, but two things we hadn't counted on: one; Duciel not only had her own Crystal, but she had also been meeting with Princess Angelica and provided her with one, and two; the eruption of the volcano. The Captain let his guard down and ended up getting himself killed."

"Unfortunate..." the female replied with little concern. The lack of compassion behind her voice startled the unidentified male, causing him to pause his explanation of events. "Continue." she insisted.

"When the volcano erupted, Duciel gathered the Manifest Crystals and rallied everyone to help save each other." the figure stepped forward; the light reflected off a blue gem on his neck. "I fled the scene with mine... and that's all I have to report."

"You've done well. Unfortunately, the humans remain a threat. We shall discuss how best to deal with that threat in the morning. Until then, I suggest you get some rest; our work is far from done, Vacité."

The dragon bowed, "Of course, Princess Celestia." he replied, acknowledging his instruction.

Comments

[RadicalDishonesty]

Oh... oh. Celestia orchestrated this. Maybe intending the destruction of both of the other nations?

... Huh. Well evilMastermind!Celestia can be a controversial choice.

[RadicalDishonesty]

6617991
So. It's the longest project you've had yet? Congratulations.

Well, it's pretty rough around the edges, but don't let that discourage you! Learn from what you think you failed at, do better!

Also I don't think it needs another new name. Not really...

Flying by the seat of your pants can be tough, but I agree that you have to do what's right by the characters. Forcing them into situations that aren't believable because you know the plot needs to go somewhere is not going to turn out well.

If you don't mind the extra mental effort expenditure, there's always the idea that planning is important, but plans are useless. Thinking through your characters, figuring out how they would grow, how they would react, what would keep them both believable and useful, even if you ultimately find yourself going into another direction.

[IndiBrony]

6625928 Thanks again for your feedback on this.

Like you said, it's rough around the edges, but I know myself that my writing feels better by the end than it did at the start.

Wasn't quite sure how to end it properly (never really done an 'ending' to a big story - most of the time I fall flat before/during the climax and stop writing), but I do have ideas for a follow-up to the story, so I needed some unresolved issues.

I'll pick this up in the future once I'm done elsewhere. I have other things to finish now. It's been a fun ride, though.

[The Great Derpsby]

... Tyrant Celestia? Really?

Okay, this is an older story. So, there's that. Not going to comment on it anymore than that.

So, despite all the griping, I did upvote this story since it kept me interested to the end. The last chapters, however, are also the weakest, I would say. Spike and Cadance and Twilight are just kind of there. They witness all the other character interact, not even being moral support. The problems aren't solved so much as delayed. You had a good build-up overall, as well as an interesting conflict. It's really only the last few chapters that don't work out so well.

Here's the upvote! Good luck on your future ideas!