Having lost contact with Sunset Shimmer, Twilight Sparkle rushes into the Crystal Mirror - only to find herself in post-nuclear Canterlot Wastelands... [Fallout/Equestria Girls fusion crossover]
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Great chapter! Can't wait for more!
Awesome chapter! Love this story, and wonder who and what they will encounter on the road.
Also wonder how super mutants will exist in this world, and if some are reasonable or different from the other types.
6353536
Glad you enjoyed it
6353559
Many faces, some of them familiar.
How they exist is simple: Forced Evolutionary Virus.
As for being reasonable/different: who knows...
Thank you for the comment
6353672
Find some time and read it. I've managed to get to the end, and that's coming from a person that could not get to the end of "War and Peace" by Leo Tolstoy. You can do it!
Never planned on writing one, to be honest. Thanks for the advice.
And thank you for the comment
This was a pretty good chapter. Still a couple of missing the's, but much better than your earlier chapters. One thing that might end up being too much if you keep it up, for both the readers and your writing, is how detailed you got about the Barter exchange. The first part of it about the combined stacks of junk was well done and interesting because it showed Twilight's and Sunset's personalities while dealing with merchants a little.
However, it did start to drag quickly and telling us how much ammo they bought and had total might make things a bit tougher on yourself. Having a set amount of ammo they each hold means you have to actually count out the bullets they use. You also might open yourself up to criticism from the mathematicians and math lovers out there, who get carried away adding them all up. Regarding the looting, you might have gotten a little carried away going into full detail about how they split it all up. Some of it was good such as the guns (meaning how the repaired them up and only kept some) and the meds, but the junk and details about the ammo was boring and seemed extremely overly detailed.
I liked the way you showed us in the flashback how Twilight was rescued. Some writers would just say oh it happened and that's all that matters. It was nice seeing Sunset and Spike debating on what to do and then seeing how they were all rescued from the cave by the Rapid Rangers.
I loved the moment our two girls had at the start of the chapter. It was also nice, from a characterization stand point, hearing Sunset tell Twilight what it was like after moving to Trottingham. It shows us how Sunset got to the point she did in the beginning of the story. I really look forward to how Sunset and Twilight grow as they continue out into the Wastelands.
Another thing I find really interesting and want to see how it plays out, is the debating voices in Twilight's mind. I can see this having a lot of potential story wise. Am I correct in assuming one is her "bad karma" voice while the other is her "good karma" voice? Or are you mostly wanting to show us how Twilight's naivete is already starting to fade away in this new world and she herself is changing? Either way, this is something that looks to be interesting.
I laughed at Twilight feeling a "pull" to collect and keep Fast Grabber's gun. I know I get the same way when playing Fallout myself. It doesn't even matter if I prefer a different type of weapon. I still want to have the weapon some named boss character had if I don't already have one.
6354088
I actually did this in previous chapters. It is tough and adds extra work to me, but as for now, Twilight and Sunset do not get that much in terms of loot, this ammo counting is a necessity. But later chapters will most probably eliminate the need for such details... unless the plot dictates otherwise.
One other thing I may need to actually count is the weight. Neither of the girls has many Strength points. I can't remember the weight formula right now, but as of now, they should not be overloaded carrying the stuff. If they do - well, they aren't running now anyway.
I see. Will try to avoid that unless it's relevant plot-wise.
I'm glad you approve of it. It was in the plan from the beginning.
I needed some explanation for Sunset distancing herself from others. Good to see that this variant worked.
Partially. The text in bold shows her pragmatic side rising, while the one in italic - her pony side. The thing is, what counts as pragmatic in the Wastelands would not be approved of by ponies most of the time (as I believe it) and count as bad karma, and Twilight's pony side reflects that.
Mostly, yes. This process has only begun, though...
Same here. If I don't use it, I can always get myself more caps
Thank you very much for the detailed comment
6354259
"Waifu thief?" Is that Flash Sentry AKA "Brad" we are talking about?
...
...ugh. Seriously, why do people hate him so much? I, for instance, do not. Sure, he is not the most interesting character around and serves mostly as Twilight's crush to fill a high school drama cliche, but... I really don't think that would warrant hatred.
If my guess about waifu thief identity is correct... well, you may be disappointed. He is not a raider.
You know, I gotta say, I'm enjoying this a lot more than I enjoyed Fallout: Equestria's beginning chapters.
6355822
Whoa, seriously?
Loving the story so far, but please fix the places where you switch from past tense to present tense.
6360112
I'll go over it later. Thanks for the comment
So now Sunset and Twilight are all geared up and ready to go, but, there is something that puzzles me, why did Twi feel like she should keep the assault rifle?
6747741
Mostly it's just my own fantasy acting up on that, but if we talk Fallout, no Wasteland wanderer would want to pass up on previously unseen loot, would they?
why do i think that the voice in her head is midnight sparkle?
6763762
This was written before Friendship Games, so it's not really Midnight Sparkle. More like a cynical side of Twilight rising.
M8. This is the worst perk name ever. I fucking DIED laughing at this one.
Rapid Rangers
Хм, наверное что-то наподобие Минит...
-Генерал! Если вы уже закончили читать главу, то ещё одно поселение нуждается в нашей помощи! Я отмечу его на вашей карте!
7652421
Я даже не играл толком в 4 Фолл и всё равно знаю про это дело, это ж мем просто
You keep what you kill.