After a long dry spell, De Writer has sort of returned. I am now writing again. Watch this space for more new tales and more chapters of the latest
Marchhare (a magically disguised De Writer) is going to the Mareimount Fair to rejoin the Rom band that will be there for the Fair. He is ambushed by highway-ponies and things go down hill from there!
What happens? Will there EVEN BE a Fair at Mareimount?
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I got halfway through this before i had to stop. Partly because it's poorly written, seems to go nowhere specific, and oh my god... the inaccuracies. The Rom? Roma is plural. Rom is not only singular, it's outdated and phased out of use in the late 1800's. Another acceptable term is Romani, alternatively spelled Romany. Also, you have a character named Rom? After his 'kind'? That seems eerily familiar. Probably a coincidence, but that seems very similar to my OC, Roma Heart... who is a gypsy... like myself. I'm being serious. I promise, I'm not accusing you of plagerism. But hey, let's talk about those inaccuracies!
No. No sashes of brocades. Yes, coins, but only when performing, and it's typically a scarf or sheet of colored linen with coins attached via small metal rings. Sometimes, you see them in a scale mail-type designs, consisting of a sheet of chain mail with coins affixed to it. These are commonly known as 'hip scarves'. I have two (one in each fabirc type), as I practice belly dancing. No bells. No fringes. Finest tooled leather? Absolutely not. Gypsies are poor most often. Head stall plumes? No. Even the actual gypsies didn't do that to their horses.Brightly decorated hats? No. Gypsy men (or stallions, I guess) wore a white shirt, simple trousers, maybe a waistcoat. Gypsy women wore long, solid colored skirts unless it was a dance outfit. Then it was something akin to cascade style tie-dye. Their top was a simple white shirt, depending on the country they stayed in. My god did you even do your research?
And... what the hell is the earthen lake? Where the hell did you even get that? That sounds like something you got from a bad source. Also, Gypsies don't typically spread ashes after cremation. Some caravans have been known to burn their deceased, but it is typically a proper burial, minus a headstone. You get a wooden cross, if you're lucky.
And another thing, what about fortune tellers? I see dancers, merchants, musicians... around the 18th century, it became commonplace to see tarot card readers and crystal ball gazers, and hand readers in caravans. I'm a fortune teller. I do it at conventions.
I'm sorry to be so hard on you, but this is really innacurate. If you are going to write about Gypsies, do so with proper research.
Oh, and dancing was never used in combat, despite the fact that belly dancers often dance with scimitars. It was an art used to make money and to celebrate.
I would advise rewriting this after doing proper research. But hey, who am I to to tell you what to do?
6409993
Generous Gypsy: IF YOU HAD BOTHERED TO READ THE STORY you would have found that the ROM are NOT GYPSIES! They are a completely unique culture!
YOU HAVE ALSO FORGOTTEN THAT THIS IS A FANTASY.
Your complaint is like saying that Conan the Barbarian is no good because it is not accurate history!
FORTUNE TELLERS? Not while the immortal De Writer (magically disguised as Marchhare) lives! He is their Ghost Who Guides. In the Orb of the Ages he can see ANY PAST event. The FUTURE IS FORBIDDEN. Technically, it does not exist at all except as a concatenation of mathematical probability.
I am totally aware of the singular and plural issues. The Rom are so named from the leader of the first band of them.
Sorry to Shoot Back but there are several MAJOR THINGS THAT YOU OVERLOOKED
1. THIS IS AN ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
2. THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE IS OF MLP, NOT EARTH.
3. THE ABOVE TWO POINTS MAKE COMPARING THESE ROM with EARTH Gypsies is like comparing a pancake to a flat tire. And then complaining about the taste of the tire.
6411037 My problem with these inaccuracies is that, in the short description, you said that the Rom were
You can't make that comparison and not follow through with it. These 'Rom' of yours are nothing like gypsies. At all.
Another problem is that they are called the Rom. You claim that they are a unique culture and are not gypsies. If they aren't gypsies, then why would you call them by an identical term? That's kind of insulting, actually.
If you are going to create a unique culture, then you shouldn't use a name that already belongs to another.
As for your Conan the Barbarian argument? That's invalid. Barbarians aren't a culture. Barbarian is an adjective used to describe a an individual lacking refinement or of a savage nature. Conan fits that.
I really would suggest changing th... wait a damn second...
This repeated several times throughout the story.
You've contradicted yourself. I'll rest my case.
6411268
Take the trouble to crack open a dictionary.
All of your objections are based gypsy (NOT capitalized) "one who wanders from place to place like Gypsy : a wanderer."* In short, wanderers who are not Gypsies.
Gypsy (capitalized) refers specifically to your people.
Tell me, why were you not full of outrage at the portrayal of the Buffalo / Native Americans in that episode?
*Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary.
6409993 Rom wear their wealth. My Rom baro taught me to keep money in gold rather than in gorje banks.
Divination and "belly dancing" is rare. Belly dancing is mostly a Persian affectation, anyway. Due to the inherent impurity of the female body parts used in the act, it would be a touchy thing.
You are correct in that we're usually pretty plainly dressed, but our show-clothes are where our money is stored.
Divination was performed, but almost never for gorje. We're actually more known for being the finest metal, stone, and woodworkers of the time we were relevant.
I would advise learning our history before you scream. "Gypsy" is an ethnic slur referring to any traveling people- Irish Travellers aren't remotely related to Rom and they're "Gypsies".
6999280 I admit, I did overreact. It was incredibly immature, and completely uncalled for. At that time I was still learning about our heritage, and I stupidly got offended because it seemed wrong to me. That was childish, and I do apologize for that.
I know better now that I've learned, like, a shit ton more about the subject. I just never came back to apologize to De, and admit that I was mostly out of line.
So, yeah, sorry De Writer. Mostly out of line. Mostly.
Also, I have to admit, Mareimont is a pretty clever name.
6999332 De's a nice guy, and seems generally pretty willing to learn. We've spoken on another of his stories.
Perhaps we should give him a hand.
6999337 Perhaps. Im always to help a fellow writer out.
Well written!