Can we Stay up?
Can we stay up?
"Sunshine..... No shine.... Whats mine.....I will retake..... Hold your hooves...... And try......to stay awake".
"Huh"?!
Cadence shot up in her bed, shaking uncontrollably; next to her, her husband woke up almost violently at his wife's distress.
"Nnnnhh, whats wrong Cadence"? Shining Armor whispered to the princess.
Cadence looked unphased at his question as she continually looked into the darkness of their bedroom.
It was raining outside and thunder was crashing.
"Oh........ Oh sorry, its... Nothing, just a bad dream is all. Sorry that i woke you up". She reassured him.
"Its fine" Armor replied warmly, taking Cadence in his arms and cuddling with her in the blankets. "Just go back to bed".
"And try.....to stay awake".
The words echoed in her brain as she slowly fell asleep again.
Morning time. After what seemed like an eternity of night, Cadence finally felt safe being in the presence of her aunt's warm sun. Her husband was already downstairs preparing her breakfast because today was a very special occasion, their 1st anniversary. She quickly got out of bed to greet her special somepony.
Quietly she walked down the hallway and stopped at the stairs were she could see him in the kitchen, unkowing of what she planned to do. In a teasing way, she slowy climbed down the stairs swaying her hips back and forth.
"Good morning my Knight in shining armor". She said seductively, winking as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders from behind.
"Ohh ho ho, whats all this now.... Excited already are we"? He chuckled turning his head to her, sneaking a quick peck on the lips. "Can you believe it? One full year of marrige, I almost feels like we got married a few days ago". he continued.
"I wouldn't have it any otherway with any other pony". Cadence replied proudly.
They gave each other another passionate kiss and started eating breakfast. After their meal they went into town and went over their plans for the day, First on the list was the photo shoot for their couple portrait, after, was the private (not so much) lunch with the Princesses, then their aniverrsary celebration, and finally, Pinkie Pie's party afterwards
"Sunshine...No shine"
There it was again, those words.... It was like a demented version of Cadence and Twilight's hoof shake.
"What's mine I will retake....."
Cadence snapped out of her daydream while Shining Armor talked to her. "I'm sorry, what"? She asked cluelesy.
"I asked, if we should probably get to the castle now for lunch with your Aunt....whats wrong"?He asked with concern.
"Its....Its...nothing, just-
"A bad dream"? Shining Armor interrupted, you've been acting strange lately. Why don't you tell me about this dream". He demanded.
"I...I don't know where to start". She chuckled nervously, "All i can remember is a creepy nursery ryhme and next thing i know, cant sleep".
"hmmm, doesnt seem to traumatising". Teased shining armor, "maybe you can ask your aunt when we get there, I just hope this doesnt affect you too much".
"Me too". She said in her mind.
We continued on until we reached the Castle, Shining suggested that I clear my mind and tell him more about this dream. I didn't dare talk about it. Everytime I thought about it, the more afraid I would get. I hoped if I just ignored it, it would go away......I hate nightmares, ever since i was a filly, even the smallest nightmares where enough to make me cry hard. Now that I have my beloved husband, I know i'm safe, but i can't help but feel......vulnerable when I'm asleep. But what really worries me is that......Something knows I am.
We reached the royal dinning room, and I begged Shining Armor to not mention it to my aunt, the last the thing I wanted was for the Princess to worry about such an unimportant matter when she was so busy. That, and something in the back of my mind threatened me not to say anything. okay....too creepy.
Unfortunately, Shining armor is too caring and was too worried (I love that about him) so he told my Aunt. Nothing she said made it any better for me. the rest of day was hard for me because I was afraid.....afraid to fall asleep. I tried my best to enjoy the rest of the evening, we went to Pinkie Pie's party that she set up for us and I actually enjoyed my self. I danced with Shining Armor and had some cupcakes that Pinkie brought. Thank Celestia Shining Armor was to occupied to mention anything to Twilight. The party started to die down when Twilight and her friends along with my aunts and Shining Armor sat at a table and told stories for awhile. I walked slowly to a balcony and watched as the moon slowly made it's way through the star filled the sky.
After the party, Shining Armor and I said goodnight to everypony and started to walk home. I was getting sleepy.........Oh no anything but that. I tried to prolonge the inevitable by drinking coffee, but exhaustion and Shining Amor got the best of me, I headed of to bed but I didn't sleep....I won't...
"Hold your hooves and try to stay awake........Princess".
*GASP*
Cadence shot up in bed once again, sweating nervosously, and shaking, knocking Shining Armor off the bed....she fell asleep.
"What was....that"? He asked, rubbing his forehead, turning a lamp on.
Candence had looked as if she had just seen a ghost and even had a few tears in hers eyes, as she dashed to the floor, searching for the warmth and love of her husband out of fear.
"Can we....stay up"? She begged innocently.
Shining Armor sighed in exhaustion and comfort, "Of course we can".
Hey Guys, BronyPanda here. Had a MLP related nightmare last night and i wanted to tell you guys what it was about. I'll still be working on Brothers of the Balance which i suggest you should read. If you guys like this, i'll add more stuff in the near future.
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
901 users online
586,790 hits today, 2,064,738 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Very nice description, caught my attention immediately, I can already tell this is going to be good
.
Well, you have officially written the most... disturbing... description of all time. I hope your story meets my expectations.
The beginning was nice, and then you started messing up in the middle. You shifted from third to first person a couple of times and you did the same thing with your past and present tensing, but aside from that and some more minor grammar mistakes, you held my interest for about 3/4 of the ride. I wanna see more.
Oops on the mistakes, thanks on the comments, I usually mess up up when writing the first. Hater of my stories due to excitement and eagerness, but I'll make sure to get it fixed
**chapter....there I go messing up again
1) the desciption is very catchy
2)the story itself was enjoyable apart from what antagonist already mentioned
3) overall nice job
Hey, interesting concept.
can't wait to see what this turns into.....until then take a mustache
and keep readin'
Zmuscle, did I really mention the antagonist??? Where? Oh and don't worry, this story is gonna have a lot of twists....I mean ALOT
and watt savage, I thank for the 
869892 i meant about the grammer mistakes
This concept has me very interested
Let do this!
Zmuscle ohhhhh I thought you meant like I mentioned like a character or something, my bad
869930 lol here allow me to be your first watch
Hello there. I'm going to try an (admittedly rare) attempt at a critique. I hope I don't come off too harsh, but it's hard to pass judgment on something without looking like a meanie, so here goes.
The description certainly caught my attention, and the premise seems quite interesting. But what kept me from enjoying this to the fullest extent was the amount of grammatical mistakes. For example:
"A bad dream"? Shining Armor interrupted, you've been acting strange lately. Why don't you tell me about this dream". He demanded.
it should be
"A bad dream?" Shining Armor interrupted. "You've been acting strange lately. Why don't you tell me about this dream?" he demanded.
A minor mistake, yes, but it all adds up. A misplaced apostrophe, a misspelled name, plus missing quotes can equal a mess. Just a few tweaks here and there can make the story much easier to follow and *that* much more enjoyable. Also, you might want to make the POV switches clearer and less abrupt, or keep the whole story in one POV entirely. May I suggest finding someone to pre-read your story to fix any grammatical mistakes? I know it's only fanfiction, but it's always nice to polish off your own creations.
I hope I don't come off as a grammar nazi or anything. I'm prone to mistakes myself, which is why I know that just the slightest mistake can throw readers off. As for the premise, I can honestly say it holds my interest (it also helps that Cadence is one of my favorite ponies in the show). The description is a great hook, and I look forward for more to come. It’s too early for me to favorite, but I will be following closely to see if you improve. And judging by this first chapter, I know you can. Best of luck to ya mate, and allons-y.
Ummm...thanks? I...kinda understand you and im grateful for your judgment, it will certainly benefit me when i write new chapters. Im more concerned with you liking the plot so i will certainly try harder on chapter 2.
Just to make somthing clear to everyone, like i said in my authors note, this story that im telling is from a dream so due to eagerness to record all of it down, i quickly typed a bit using an iphone so my grammer would not ahve been 100 percent. But i assure you guys that since a lot of peole are getting intrested, i will be working on this alot, and sonce im on summer vacation, expect a new chapter tommorow
Voices in dreams? Nightmares? ... Looks like my childhood. Can't say anything until I read more of this, keep it up dude, it looks like it's taking a good way.
I never saw the Canterlot wedding episode, and so I never knew that Cadence was an alicorn or that Luna and Celestia had other family, until you said so, and I looked it up on google images...........................................
Im soo sorry but.....what?
Huh, you and I have very similar concepts. Trigger words, nightmares with messages, internal struggle, etc. aside from the changes in perspective and a few other mistakes, this is a great story.
In the next few chapters, try to remain third person but be sure to not leave Cadence's perspective. It forces the reader to use their imagination, which is better than any combination of words. Don't forget to use imagery, for it is your most powerful tool.
Just thought I'd throw my two bits into the basket
Well, you say arms instead of hooves a few times, which gave me a weird humanized image of them in my mind. Also at one point you switch from third person to first person, but I'm guessing that was intentional.
Interesting fic. I'm looking forward to the next chapter!
media.comicvine.com/uploads/5/52044/2060390-i_like_it_super.jpg
bring us another soon!
Hmm.......intresting.
But I couldn't help but notice several grammar errors in the story.