*Wondering what I'm putting out next? Check this journal out to see for yourself!
"In the end, it’s not the years in your life that matter; it’s the life in your years."
~Soto Konoha
Huge thanks to all my followers, trackers, friends and editor! If it weren't for you all, this would of never gotten off the ground.
Diary Entry…
It happened, he... he passed on; Orrick, my wonderful Orrick, is dead. I never thought the day would come that I’d have to cope with this. I’m all alone now; I feel empty.
You know, I have to wonder why I’m still around; why I’m sitting by this old book writing my days away, and looking at pictures of a once-upon-a-time-life which is nothing but dust now. Can’t I go? Can’t I finally be free of all this? Can’t I just simply-
Die
The word hung on the tip of my tongue, and yet I couldn’t write it down. Was I really inviting death?
Yes.
With a measured sigh, I cut my magic, and the pen fell from its grasp, bouncing off my writing desk once before falling to the dusty floor. Instead of retrieving the writing utensil, however, I closed my diary and tucked it away between the mattresses; something I’d come to do out of habit. I don’t really know who I was hiding it from anymore; Orrick always knew and even if he hadn’t, he’s dead now and wouldn’t give a damn.
I still can’t believe he’s dead, why is life so unfair?
With the desk cleared, I sat back down in my aged chair and gazed at the walls. Pictures, they’re all that’s left of what was once a tangible event- snapshots of a reality that’s like a dream to me now. I wanted my youth back, and my mate, and my kids, and Octavia… but things don’t work out like that, do they? No, all that’s left is smiling faces, beautiful sunsets, and a horrid air of fabrication. What a life.
As my mind delved into sour reveries, I got up and made my way down the stairs; an activity nowadays that was as dangerous as scaling the Canterlot Mountains. When I finally made it, I was out of breath and had to lean against the railing for a minute or so to recover. As my heart slowed, and my regular breathing again rattled out of my throat, I began making my way towards the kitchen. I passed three more portraits before arriving at my destination. Reaching out with a weak bout of magic, I swung open one of the cupboards and rummaged through, pulling out the pot of sugar after a second or so. Next came boiling the water, then the teabag, and finally, tea. With the warm beverage a pace in front of me, I set it down on the dusty table before falling to a chair with a satisfied sigh. The events of yesterday, the funeral I mean, sapped whatever energy I had left; my endurance was next to nothing now.
Again, my eyes went unfocused as I tuned the world out, gazing blankly at the walls that had once held a family. Soon, a particular picture caught my eye, forcing me to focus; it was the one of Octavia. It had been taken at one of her last concerts a year or two back. Her mane and tail were all gray-having lost their color as age began to show-and yet her smile was the same as it always had been; mysterious, polite, and ever youthful. Seeing that smile brought a similar one to my face, and I took another sip of tea. Without intending, I slipped into deep reveries.
Octavia had been happy till the very end. As I, she too had had a rough life; yet, instead of letting it drag her down, she used it to make her stronger. Sure, I had lost my first husband, I was a rehabilitated addict, an alcoholic, and-in the beginning- an irresponsible mother; yet, I turned out OK in the end.
So then why do I feel so sour?
A good question, one that I eventually concluded after remembering a particular diary entry of mine. I pondered over why those that I knew accepted their deaths, and then I recalled the theory of becoming complete. When I put one and one together, I realized with a start that once Octavia had ‘completed’ herself, she died soon after. Maybe that was the key to my own situation, why death hadn't taken me; I still needed to complete myself. Resolution flooded in.
Putting down the drink, I cantered out of the kitchen and up the stairs to my room. Once there, I opened one of my drawers and pulled out my old DJ glasses. The leather strap was worn and frayed, and the tinted glass held a fine layer of dust. For a moment, I just stared; looking at the object that held so many memories. Without knowing, a tear fell from my eye before quickly being absorbed into my fur. Those glasses, they were my world at one point; I had neglected them for too long. Slowly bringing the goggles out of the desk and brushing them clean, I strapped them onto my head before exiting my room.
The descent down the stairs brought on a stony resolve. The tears came swifter now, carving lines down my coarse facial fur before falling off my chin to the dusty floor. Turning at the kitchen, I made my way into the living room. The grand piano was there, neglected and abandoned. The last time the cover had been opened was at least two years ago. When I flipped open the lid smooth keys as clean as the day I’d closed it met my teary gaze. Shuddering slightly at the exertion, I pulled out the piano chair and sat down before taking the goggles from my head and putting them so that they blacked out my vision.
My life has run its course; I’ve planted my hooves firmly on the ground and ridden the ups and downs to my greatest potential. I’ve loved, I’ve hated, I’ve cried, I’ve laughed… but most importantly, I’ve overcome.
All that’s left are the smooth keys in front of me and a final wish. I could do it; I would call her to me and see her for a final time. Taking a deep meditative breath I brought my left hoof down on a key. It gave off a pure sound, one that rung out crisply and reverberated pleasantly; I could feel the bass undertone rattle deep in my chest. An electric blue light had flashed before my eyes; a mere spark, or a compound that, when combined with another, would begin to manifest.
A brief smile tweaked the corners of my muzzle. I still had it in me.
I played a second note, and the blazing red spark elicited rose to accommodate the blue one. Together they danced momentarily before combining together as a crackling blue and red orb.
I played a fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh.
Overcoming the crippling emotions at seeing such vibrant light enter my dreary home again, my playing became far more refined. The sad melody echoed richly around the living room, and I pondered what madness had made me stop playing in the first place. Unable to stop now, the music continued. In front of me, the colors began taking shape, coming together to create The Picture.
The body began to appear, then the mane, the horn, the eyes, the smile… at about this point, the image usually fell apart. I wouldn’t let it. Driven by unbridled determination and my very spirit, I sped up the pace. My hooves flew across the keys almost subconsciously; the image in front of me was what I was concentrating on now. Blazing whiteness began to fill in the body, starting at the rump, and then spreading to color the mare’s coat a pure white. Soon to follow was the mane and tail; electric blue and crackling with energy. A darker blue began to creep in, coloring the remaining sections in marvelous vibrancy. My heart soared, the tears fell like waterfalls. I cried out in excitements, getting up from my chair to have a better look. Down below, I could still feel my hooves playing on. The image, I’d completed it after eighty six years! The immenseness of it all sent deep shivers through my body. It was only when this initial bout of emotion cleared that I realized something: The picture wasn't of my mother, but of me; a younger me.
Numbness hit me like a brick. My maw fell open; this whole time I’d been trying to complete myself, not my elusive mother. My throat felt tight, my eyes closed and I fell to the floor; leaving the keys for a final time. And yet somehow, the music continued to play. The image of my body began to break apart, scattering to surround me in luminescent light. Reaching out to grab at a wisp of color as it floated by, I noticed with a start that it was warm to the touch, that I could actually feel the music. Too amazed to question, I pulled myself to my hooves and looked around.
The colors had settled into places around me and began to transform; change into their own individual entities. To my left, Octavia appeared, her body a concoction of music and fluorescent. She held in her hoof the cello I’d given her. To my right, Dawnfire appeared with his brother, the looks on their faces were that of content; it was clear that they had been reunited in the end.
Slowly, the room began to fill up with the ponies that had left my life as I’d continued to live. In a line they stood, directing me to the end, a light that had appeared; beckoning softly. Unable to resist, I slowly cantered towards it. As I approached the wall of light, a figure appeared: Orrick, not the old age-battered Orrick I knew, but the one I’d fallen in love with all those years ago. His chest was puffed out proudly, and his wings were flared, inviting me into a hug.
Overcome by unbridled emotion, I fell back to the floor. Seeing all the entities was momentous, but Orrick himself had rendered me helpless. Figuring that I could move no further, Orrick left the wall of light and padded towards me. Looking up from the floor I saw his eyes gazing back down at me; love emanating from them so strongly that I again had the will to move. In a shaky action, I raised my hoof to touch his chest feathers. As expected, he felt as warm as he had in life. With a grunt, I pulled myself to stand again before embracing him. As his feathers wrapped around me a silent message was passed between the two of us: I’d see him soon. As he pulled away from me, I noticed that the others had gone through the wall of vibrant light. I didn’t want him to leave, and yet I knew he had too; Orrick had to move on, and so did I. With a nod and a reassuring glance, I dropped to my four hooves and allowed him to break the embrace. With a final loving stare, he turned and evaporated through the wall of light. As the music stopped the colors disappeared, taking my beautiful mate with them.
Removing my glasses, I found myself standing at the center of the cold living room. I no longer needed to keep a living memory of my mate, so I went over to the piano and placed the goggles on the keys, closing the lid in calm resolution.
With that task done, I made my way to my room; collecting pictures from around the house as I went. In my dorm now, I took the time to mount the frames, using my desk, the wall, and even the bed as places for them to rest. With that done, I went into my drawer and pulled out my diary and a card; it showed the image of a mare looking over a beautiful horizon, her back facing the viewer. And in the setting sun, a single word in bold black letters stated:
Believe.
It had been the one Orrick had given me when we're in the academy together all those years ago; it had come with the glasses.
Settling into my bed, surrounded by the pictures of my life, I opened up the journal and wrote a single sentence.
‘What a life I’ve had.’
Overcome by a sudden bout of fatigue, I fell back onto my pillow, clutching the card close to my chest. Taking a final glance out the window, I took note that the sun was setting, casting the world in a brilliant shade of pink and orange. With a sigh, I closed my eyes and relaxed. Eternal sleep came, and then there was nothing.
Then there was light.
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No tears... Sad it had to end though.
You son of a damn. You actually made me cry. Yes I said cry. Ah horsefeathers.
Good story.
Oh and FIRST!
ETA. DOH!!!
Ok second ?
You did it, you created this wonderful work that so many of us will remember for along time. It is so awful to see this story end but happy sweet ending with her having that resolution at the piano. Words really can not tell people what we feel at times like this, you just have to learn it yourself.
But yet it did have to end like everything else. Its sad to see it go but yet we hope that you will keep on creating great stories so we can all read them.
1617328 Heheh, nope...
I hate it when I read depressing stories.
I feel all... Depressed afterwords.
But overall it was a good story, one that I will remember for a long time.
oh my god... why.
why does the story end here?!
WHY DAMNIT! *starts a fit of hysterical crying*
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omg....my feels.....you have torn them to shreds.....i will never be whole again.....u sir.....u have succeded in making me cry both from sadness and joy.....manly tears of manliness are falling and i cannot stop the flow.....someone end it all for me please!
(really amazing job one of the best stories ever)
superve ending my man great as always
sad to see this beautiful work end
My entire emotional existence has been shredded by you. I may never be whole again, but you sir... Have made me bawl out tears of sorrow and joy. Manly tears have been shed.
Possibly the best story I've ever read and probably ever will read.
1617666
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I'll help end the sadness.
Okay so I'm crying; seriously.
I have followed this story since chapter 1.
After reading this, all of this, taking the good with the bad; just as you portrayed Vinyl doing.
I have come to realize something. Even though I knew this would end, all be it I didn't know I'd be baling at the end,
I choose to take the ride; I'm glad I did.
Thank you for this wonderful story. I can honestly say, I've never been more pleased, by such a sad ending.
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Seriously wonderful ending. Thank you for making this trip possible.
you have outdone yourself sir for i rarely shed tears but today...you broke my heart
dem tears, they be flowin' man.
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you made water fall out of my eyes.
Oh my good god, that was amazing! You have made me a happy, happy child. I am 6 out of five Pinkies /
Wonderful story!
This has been one fantastic fic, and though I saw it coming a mile away, that ending still brought me all kinds of feels. Good job, stay awesome.
1617767 its been hours and im still crying....goodbye cruel world of feels! *bang*
Although I enjoyed the later parts of this story, I often found myself lamenting the loss of momentum towards the very end. The main reason I had fallen in love with this plot, namely the affair Vinyl has with music itself and the consequences that stem from that, fell to the wayside in favor of a story of decline, broken dreams, and romance. And although I also enjoyed that, it didn't have the same drive of the older chapters. Another mild disappointment for me personally was the way the whole Octavia/Vinyl dynamic played out. Vinyl was aware of how Octavia loved her and wanted a special relationship with her, but all of that fell out in favor of the story of her and Orrick's children, which although beautiful in its own right, felt like a cop-out. This story tried to do too many things at once by the end and therefore felt scattered and incomplete to me. It was a formidable set of issues and messages that you tried to address, and each one was interesting and fresh. However, in fiction, as well as music, it is important to remember that simpler is sometimes better. I very much enjoyed this story throughout its travels, I just feel like you tried to do so much with it that you ended up shorting all the various subplots because of their variety and breadth. An impressive, if overcrowded work.
darn you.....making theases salty drops of water come form my eyes.... Like othere...knew it would be a ride...but ti was a great one!!!!!
I had shivers and a feeling of completeness. You have written a god of a story
I don't know if I've commented on this prior to now. Well done with this amazing story. I've loved it all the way though. This last chapter almost got me to cry, but alas I did not shed any tears, just choked up a bit. But nonetheless, this story was powerful. I don't know what else to say other than: keep on writing, you're awesome.
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You just made me cry a little. A feat not even my little dashie could preform.
I don't even know what to say...
I will say only this: I now hold Vinyl up to the rank of 'Best Background Pony' all due to this story. Okay, I'll say this too: cover pictures are important. The cover pic for this story is what drew me in in the first place. You just... amazing.
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That was beutiful, best thing I have ever read. I didn't cry, but I was close to it. You are amazing at writing, please, don't ever stop...
The second story to ever make me cry on this site. This was just beautiful. Thank you.
I finally finished reading it like you asked...
And I cried through all of it.
even more so than in MLD.
Syn3rgy, daylight and i guessed what this story was going to be about.....but never, never had i read a story that made me feel the feels that im feeling right now. I cant believe that its over iff you were to write anything like this again, you'll become a an alicorn among ponies. I cant wait for more, and i wish you the best of luck with all the stuffs you do.
The feels. The fucking feels.
I have read many fan-fics. Most good, some great, a few bad and a very rare number, exceptional. This is one them. This is exceptional. I'm nearly crying right now, nearly broke at many points in the story.
For that you should be very proud. No fanfic has yet elicited this level of emotion from me. I just finished it and yet I want to read it again.
From the moment I saw this in the feature box I was intrigued, by the title, the picture, the description, it all called to me, begged me to read it, but the thought of a rollercoaster of feels held me back. Today, I couldn't get it out of my head, so I read it, every word, today and damn what a rollercoaster it was.
What is a life? You answered it perfectly. A series of moments, captured, perfectly, small chunks, the rest to be filled in by our imaginations. I have no words for the emotions you've filled me with.
It truly was the story of a great life, and death of a DJ.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go wipe my eyes cause they've got something really big in them.
I hope your happy with what you have done to me yo...........................
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
MEDIC!!!!
*Dies*
Tears. A lot of them. I'm crying more than i cried in the whole month. This story is pure beauty. I started reading this looking for a romance story, a common one, with laughs and the common "d'aw" moments, and end up with one of the best stories that i have ever read in my life, with drama and incredibly sad moments, and still having what i was looking for. I read every word through this story feeling what Vinyl was feeling, immersed into the story. This ending, after all that Vinyl past through is so fair and amazing, so well detailed its... Its... I dont even have words to describe what im feeling right now with this. Thank you for this. Thank you.
Oh damn you! Why do you have to write so well! Never has a story actually made me shed tears.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_sad.png I just couldn't put down this story either. I started reading this around 10 at night. It is now 4:46 in the morning and i have a math test. DAMN IT!dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/misc_Vinyl_shock.png I am highly impressed on how you managed to break away from the Vinyl Scratches we all know so well. You did an utterly fantastic job with the characterization of everyone, even the minor characters. Definitely in the top 5 stories I have read in the fandom, if not out of everything i have read.
All those feelings...
Only one other story has ever made me feel all this...
This is now my favorite fan-fiction I've ever read. For this i thank you.
the scene with her playing the piano and finally painting her masterpiece was so beautifully written that it made me cry so I want to thank you for a truly beautiful death
Excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep
This final chapter of this amazing fic, which I kept forgetting to favorite, has given me a strange level of contentment I have not felt in a long time. I must say, throughout this, you have proven yourself to be a master of emotional manipulation. Now, on to read the blog post about what's next.
Okay. I said I wouldn't cry at this.
I lied to myself. I'm a horrible- BWAAAAAAAAAAAaaaa TOO MANY FEELS
You're a busy guy; you may not even give this comment a second thought, having read so many like it; but I must write my thoughts for you.
So great. I regret to say I did not cry sad tears, but it is FAR easier to get me to cry liquid-pride
I am so happy to have read this story--more, I am so over leaps and bounds happy you wrote it!
The frame of the story was so touching: the begining with the image in her music and ending in it's completion. I was a little disappointed that it felt much of the depth was merely touched--but that disappointment quickly gave rise to sheer admiration: you're a writer, and as a writer you never stop improving; that which you touched will become those that you embrace and infect into your readers that they will feel all you have wrote with your heart--leaving bits of your own flesh in the ink.
I could feel the pulses of life in your work. Not much of anything artificial, and that is what is great. It was simple, good, and true. Though, mind, it is not something just for sad life stories, as you surely know: great power can be had even in the smallest of pieces--even just a paragraph long.
I really don't have much to say that hasn't already been said.... Maybe some critizism, but I really can't...
I am an aspiring writer myself. You sir.... you great story-telling, life weaving, word-smithy, admirable bastard you!
At the end of the day I have mixed feelings about the story. The writing was well done, and the plot itself was good. My main issue was the pacing of the story, The beginning seemed to go by so fast, especially the four years with Vinyl's first love. I would think that there would be many chapters you could write about that. The same with the end, Octavia being gone/coming back could have both had entire chapters with emotion filled with them.
This is coming from a reader who enjoyed when the time was going slower in the story, like during the Buck addiction. The story felt more real, and the flow felt much better, especially when dealing with the high/low point of peoples lives.
However that is just a nitpick from me, the characterization was good, if a little spaceous at times because of the time laps between chapters. I shall happily read whatever you decide to publish next, and am waiting for more to be writing
Thanks for the story
Kitsune Curator
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Often times when I "favorite" a story on this site, it's so that I can follow its updates, or read it again when I'm feeling up to it. This story, however, deserves a favorite because it is one of my absolute favorites so far. There's so much here that I can relate to, and so much emotion put into the story that sometimes I cried tears of happiness, while others I had to stop and wipe the burning, stinging tears of sadness or anger away from my eyes, just so I could continue.
You seem to have taken a rather successful leap with a bit of wisdom that I often find myself quoting or paraphrasing to my readers:
"The destination is known and the speed set, but we know not the roads to that destination, or the people we will meet along the way."
The title "The Life and Death of a DJ" is pretty straightforward, and any reader can figure out that at the end, Vinyl will have passed on. However, the journey to that point was unknowable from the beginning, and at each and every turn, you added more and more depth to the character that so many other writers leave out. By the end, it was at the point that I felt she was a real person, and perhaps, somewhere out there in the world, there is a "Vinyl Scratch" like this.
Thank you so much for writing this...it was truly a privilege to read.
;_;
That really was sad.
Y IT END?!?!?!
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Words, I suppose you're expecting some words from me to tell you what I thought about the story overall and the ending. I'm sorry, but I'm at an utter loss for such words. All I know is this: I am seldom brought to tears by a story, and this piece wracked my emotions time and time again. I do have one more chapter to read, I'll finish my statement there.
~SolidFire
Quite a roller-coaster ride my friend. Many unexpected twists and turn, (the biggest being a non Octy/Scratch shipping) and although I spotted a few mistakes here and there, as a whole it definitely held it's own.
I must also admit it's refreshing to see a story that plays upon the unique way the plot itself played out, and the way it moved. You don't see many stories like this, and often the ones we do find are hardly up to par. All in all, I must say I thoroughly enjoyed reading this, and while its not nearly as long as some of the other fics I've seen,( the biggest being well over 600K words) it was well worth it.
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Here's to many more successful fics my friend.