It has been centuries since the exploits of the legendary 6 mares of the elements of harmony, now figures of bygone era with but a few descendants still existing. Times have changed, sometime between that time and now a revolution of invention and advancement began. Though from humble beginnings many new technologies were developed while existing ones were enhanced.
In the first century of this revolution, was the industrial revolution. Powerful and unique machines invented and refined used for transport, production, and even war.
Near the end of the first century, and onto the second was the cyber age. Technologies would rise such the computers, robotics, and soon bionic body modification. With computers came development of the Internal Network, the invisible magical matrix which soon connected all computers and would go on to connect nearly all technology. All ponies, gryphons, and other creatures of the civilized world are connected to the InterNet whether through computers or portable wrist bound devices. The technology of connected magic signals would also be used in factories with the invention of robotics, and eventually would lead to cities connected and managed under a single network. With technology's rise magic would become little but a component to technology and it's many forms.
It is now late into the cyber age, where the world is connected to the InterNet. Though achievements were made, society itself did not stay the peaceful, harmonious near utopia of the element's era. Crime, corruption, wars, and societal manipulation have marked the history spanning this age of invention and advancement. And these have only grown stronger, as this age grows longer.
As of this time, late in the cyber age, forces of multiple sides will vie for power. Existing and new powers will struggle for power and decision over the future.
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Special thanks to https://www.fimfiction.net/user/TwiRaptor97xex for pre-reading and encouragement.
Special thanks to anyone who offers feedback ^^
Artwork drawn by me.
I will usually stay away from these kinds of stories but I have decided after reading the prolog and the first chapter that I shall give this one a chance. So the first thing I would like to mention is the plot here seems solid and creative, I do hope that as the story progresses Owl gets to spend a bit more time with his daughter. He has already broken a promise as to spend time with her because of duties calling him.
Nothing in my eyes is more hurtful than breaking a promise to a filly. Watch yourself Owl because a kid might love you now. Later in life, if you keep making mistakes like that you will lose that kind of love.
I do like the atmosphere this story has. It keeps me remembering the time period is in the future with modern technology.
Keep up the good work! I hope to see more soon!
7966266 I shall be sure to continue it soon! ^^ Keep an eye out
7966274 Well I am watching you and I have added this story to my Personal Favorites Bookshelf. I will easily be able to see when the next chapter comes out, haha. Again keep up the good work!
i normaly dont read verylong fanfic anymore.. but i can try this
7972579 Give this a try and tell me whatcha think! ^^
Oh boy! Cliffhangers baby~ *says in a seductive yet venomous voice*
Where do I begin here? Well, this chapter changed my view on the story for sure because now we get to see things are probably about to go really really wrong. With some type of bad guy group or maybe this mare will be the main problem throughout the story. Whoever she is I get a bad-ass feel about her and her blades. I don't think a couple kicks to the face or telling her to freeze is going to get her to stop. So time for some highlights, WARNING: Spoilers Duh~ These are my reactions to the following favorite quotes!
7972936 I didn't expect that kinda comment lol.
7972961 That is just how I generally comment once into a story.
7972967 Glad you liked it, will probs start chapter 3 today~
You've definitely captured the "high-tech, low-life" of cyberpunk. I also like how you blended in current Internet slang into the story as well. Namely using "edgelord" as a slang for a would be tough guy.
Also, I suggest an editor as I am seeing quite a lot of minor typos and the sentences are a bit rough around the edges.
Before I read this, what is the Dark and Gore tag for ?
And how bad does it get ?
7974650 Cybernetic rape with a tungsten drill,
just kidding. ^^ Probably along the lines of decently graphic depictions of pones getting shotgunned in the dome, or curb stomped with a bionic limb. We'll see what my imagination thinks up hehe.
7974524 Thanks for the feedback ^^ And with that advice I shall see about getting an editor.
7974650 Not that bad yet though, but what I describe will likely be the maximum
Wow. So diganal hoof is gonna be something. i loved theses self-rightush hackers.. but it make me think if maybe. JUST maybe if there are things that happens in the RLG that he might not know about. just a guess
ALRIGHT! Mare in the mask is an Ecig smoker. might be a clue if ever needing to fine ouy who she is! And hot dang!i already love her! Also so much for sneeking! Try not to lose your head owl! tho's blades are not just for show~
A seductive mare with blades in a world full of tech. One she clearly will have no issue with ending your life owl so it might e best to start taking her a tad more seriously. Secondly i just want to say how well you built this world up. You did very well with submerging my mind int it with very fine and vivid details as well. Hell with the info provided i could make a 3D model of it if i wanted to. I look forward to reading more, Seriously though Owl take the cyber hacker mare a bit more seriously. Hell maybe she will become your next love interest idk :p Hell i'd ship it, she got a great attitude one i personally can fall in love with. This leads me to another great point. You use more description than you do dialogue in your story yet you somehow manage to also make me fall deeply in love with these characters. For that i tip my hat to you, very well done.
Owl got got fucked up..... I feel there is a rather huge meaning behind all this
yay another chapter
8237217
You're welcome, glad you've enjoyed it.
A recommendation for future stories, try not to have text walls (really long paragraphs) because they can be quite intimidating and easy to lose your place in.
8398814
Thanks for the feedback! I might try to fix that, shouldn't be too hard.
If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?
8504782
Not exactly something I have exactly pinpointed down precisely. Think of them as sounding like whatever voice fits their character!
After reading through a good bit of the story I can give a little feedback. The story is good, characters are interesting, and it has a really gritty feel uncommon for most fimfiction stories. The bad I have seen others mention--text walls. I read fimfiction on a cell phone which makes these even more intimidating. I don't recommend cutting content, but find ways of breaking those paragraphs up, they are not conductive to easy reading. Especially in the early chapters where you need to hook your audience, you won't have an audience if they feel overwealmed reading the first part they pick up. These longer paragraphs are fine after the audience is committed to you, but get your audience first.
8578764
Mobile audiences aye? I was wondering about that, because these didn't seem much like text walls from a computer. I'll try to look into it then, mainly in the first chapter. Thanks for the feedback!
that was..only 20% of the data.... makes me wonder if that's just 20%...what's the other 80%? because that little big was already crazy
The dedication is real you get a like. I'll read this later. For inspiration and uh... stuff...
8669186
Thanks for the compliment! And I take it you have intentions of writing cyberpunk, best of luck!