Scouting, planning, and patience. It seems like three simple steps but in reality it couldn't be further from the truth.
Spike was currently outside watching his target, a medium sized foal care store known as...."Foal Care"..... He watched how busy it was and if he remembered correctly from listening to the Cakes, the store closed at 8:00pm. From working all day to finding and researching the "Forever Foal" topic, he had less than three hours to both plan and act.
Spike knew that he had a short window of time to act if he wanted his plan to work. He also knew that he needed to use whatever resources he had available to actually make everything successful. That said, he needs a specific recourse for his plan to be accomplished, currency.
Twilight never gave Spike any bits since he was an assistant and not a paid employee but he was given the next best thing, gems. While Spike didn't want to use his gems to pay for anything, he didn't have much of a choice.
"Lets see, with the gems I've gotten from my gem hunts with Rarity and any leftover gems from meals and snacks I couldn't finish, I should have enough. However, I can't go and only buy diapers. No, much too suspicious. Much too risky. If spending extra on something I don't need will lessen my suspicion then it's worth it." Spike told himself sadly with a hint of a frown on his face.
"I'll need a fake chore list to make it look like I'm running an errand for somepony. I'll also need to be both discrete and open with my purchase. In order to do this I'll need to let any ponies currently inside the store see my purchase but only ponies inside. I'll also need to look panicked once I enter the shop and come in a few minuets before closing time to seem like I was running behind on my chores."
Spike then grinned at the next "devious" step of his plan. "If I do this just right, I'll be creating a small 'scene'. This will make it so nopony will associate my visit as a personal visit. After all, why would a pony trying to hide something create a noticeable 'scene' in front of others. Reverse psychology at its finest."
"Now onto the retrieval phase. I'll need a diaper that fits me without saying it's for me. This next part is simple. I've given Rarity my measurements so I know what they are. If I write down my hip and waist measurements on my 'chore list' and show it to the pony working there then I can get him or her to find a diaper for me." At this point Spike was practically bouncing in place as his plan coming together. Luckily for him no pony noticed this.
"Other items such as foal powder and wipes won't be a problem getting at all so long as I choose my words carefully if any questions are asked about those two products. Unfortunately, I can't get any other items like pacifiers, toys, bibs, or foal food, but I might be able to get a bottle. Getting a foal bottle is definitely gonna make things much riskier but it won't matter if I'm careful enough with the wording for this as well." Spike couldn't contain his excitement as he let out little chuckles of glee along with his slight bounce. Again, nopony saw or heard any of this.
"There is a very small chance that things won't go exactly as I planned. If that happens then the only thing I'd be able to do is play things by ear and wing it. All I have to do now is get my gems, make my list, get my saddle bag, and then wait for the perfect time to make an entrance." Spike thought to himself as he walked home with a grin on his face and determination in his eyes.
As Spike entered the library, he rushed to the bedroom he shared with Twilight, grabbed his saddle bag, went to his "bed", and moved it slightly. Spike being the clever little drake he is, kept his hidden stash of gems in a place that nopony knows about. Not even Twilight knows about Spike's hiding place. With all the time Twilight has disappeared on him he has been making some slight "renovations" to the room. More specifically, under the bedroom.
Spike put the tip of his claw in a tiny hole in the floorboards and then tilted the claw tip slightly. He then lifted up his arm slowly. Doing this removed the floorboard from where his basket sat and revealed a small hole underneath filled with gems.
"I'm honestly glad Twilight hasn't found out about this. If she did, she'd probably think I was hoarding like other dragons, which I technically am. I could only imagine the questions, tests, and possible freak out that would occurre." Spike shivered at that thought as he took some gems and filled up his saddle bag.
After grabbing a sizable amount of gems and putting them into a section of his saddle bag, he put the floorboard and his "bed" back in place. He then went to write a list and sit down for a while as he readied his mind and body. "All that's left is to do now... is wait..."
Two hours later....
Spike was tired. Not from sleep though, from exhaustion. He was running through ponyville carrying many bags of animal food. Spike remembered when he was feeding the animals earlier that a few of them were low on food. This surprisingly worked well with his plan since he figured he'd need to be carrying other items with him for his plan to work. He just wasn't expecting the food to be so heavy. Spike is always used to carrying and pulling heavy things so while this wasn't to difficult, it did slow him down and give him a small workout.
It's about time to start the plan. Once I go in, there's no turning back." Spike didn't even need a second to banish these thoughts from his mind. After all, he made a commitment to this whole thing and he certainly wasn't about to chicken out now.
With less than fifteen minutes left to spare he ran to and entered the foal supply shop with some work-out sweat running down his forehead. He then quickly takes in all of his surroundings. "Okay, there are two ponies here besides the stallion with a tag labeled 'Shiny Smile' working the register and a mare with a tag labeled 'Bright Heart' who must be the pony who can help me. Both the workers seem to be in their twenties which helps my plan quite a bit. That mare most likely is the one who has the most information on the foal products since she is trotting around the store. If I don't do this just right, I'm royally bucked. However, if I do this perfectly then everything should go smoothly."
Spike then notices the very few ponies in the store looking at him but his thoughts were far from worried. In fact, he's never felt as ready as he feels now."Showtime"
Spike then runs up to the mare with animal food still in claw. "Excuse me ma'am, please tell me your still opened. Spike says to her as he pants loudly to give off the 'I just ran all the way here and I'm both out of breath and desperate' vibe.
"We were just about to close for the day in five minutes. Are you alright sweetie?" The mare asks with slight concern on her features.
Spike then replies with a loud sigh of relief as he continues panting slightly. "Thank Celestia!" I could really use your help. You see, I am currently taking care of animals for a friend while she is away and she left me a list of chores to do. Apparently she was running out of supplies for some bear cubs who aren't currently house trained and she didn't write down 'diapers' on the note along with a few other items. Pleasetellmeyoucanhelpmesoidontgetintotroubleand—
"Woah, woah, woah, it's alright. Take some deep breaths ok sweetie? The mare said putting a hoof on his shoulder and giving it a little rub to 'calm him down'.
Just as Spike planned. All four of the ponies in the store were currently looking at him, all with varying looks of concern. "So far so good." Spike thought to himself.
Spike then took a moment to "calm down" before he started speaking again. "I'm... I'm really sorry. I just ran here and I'm very desperate. I didn't mean to get all panicked. He then looked down, pretending to be sad and ashamed.
"It's okay hun. You don't have to be sorry. You haven't done anything wrong." The mare then put a hoof under Spike's chin and pushed upwards, as to bring Spike's eyes to meet her own.
"My name is Bright Heart but you can call me Bright. Can you tell me your name sweetheart?" The now confirmed Bright Heart asked.
Spike then gave the mare now known as "Bright Heart" a comforted smile. "My name is Spike, Spike the dragon. Everypony just calls me Spike.
The mare started to make small talk with Spike to keep the situation calm. "Spikes' your name huh? That's a very nice name." She then got back to business. "Well then Spike, you said you need some diapers for some animals right? Do you have any idea of what kind of diapers you need? Any measurements I can go off of?"
"No I don't know what I'm looking for, I do have measurements though." Spike then hands over the fake chore list which had many crossed out things on it except for all the foal supplies and some numbers which were the measurements. Those were the numbers you wanted, right?"
These will do just fine. I think I can help you out. Just come with me sweetie. The mare then smiled and motioned with her hoof to follow.
Spike dropped his animal food bags by the register and gave the cashier a "don't lose these" look. Spike then silently observed the mares behavior as he followed her"I can't tell if she suspects anything or not. She seems very kind though. While I don't know if she bought that lie, I do know that I still need to be cautious either way."
After walking for about twenty to thirty seconds, they reached a very large wall with all kinds of diapers and diapering supplies. If Spike weren't hiding his emotions he'd end up gaping like a fish.
"Alright, these are all the diapers, pull-ups, and absorbent 'pants' that will fit the size your note specified. Since you are dealing with an animal that is not house broken, either pull up diapers or diapers with tapes will be your best bet. I wouldn't ever recommend pull-ups unless the wearer was going through potty training or in the cubs case, house training. Absorbent 'pants' are for discrete wear so they are automatically off the table. Spike could barely keep from looking at the mare in shock and awe as Bright Heart professionally spoke about each diaper and their pros/cons.
"Thank you so much for your help! You have no idea how much of a life saver you are!" Spike said in an overly exasperated sigh. He then went up to the mare and gave a big hug making sure she had seen a grateful smile on his face. "This hug could backfire badly but I have to make it seem like she helped keep me from disappointing a friend. Even if she doesn't know the truth, she still is helping me and that does make me truly grateful."
The mare was initially surprised by such an action but she immediately accepted the hug with a bright smile. "Aww your so cute! I'm just doing my job but I'm glad I could help you. This must be important to you huh?" The mare asks as she disengages the hug.
Even though Bright Heart was very kind and Spike felt horrible for deceiving her, he couldn't just tell her the truth now. At this point he could only continue down the path he'd chosen. "Yeah your right. I have lots of ponies depending on me and this specific pony is the last one you'd want to see sad. I also made a commitment. As part of my dragon code I cannot ignore a promise I make."
"You even have your own code you follow? That's adorable! The mare said as she unintentionally made a squee sound.
"Horseapples! I wasn't supposed to be cute and adorable I was supposed to be noble and responsible. If she decides to make a connection between my 'adorableness' and the diapers then she might find out what's really going on. I might just be paranoid but I can't risk it. I have to push her away gently to keep her new thoughts about me to a minimum. Spike silently told himself while inwardly panicking.
He then gave Bright Heart a sincere and apologetic look. "Thank you for the compliment. I do try very hard to be responsible and dependable. Also, while I don't mean to be rude, I should really let you get ready to close up the shop. I should be able to get everything I need from here. I'd really rather not keep you past your closing time."
The mare then flattened her ears in embarrassment and sadness. She really wanted to continue talking to the adorable dragon in front of her but she knew that there wasn't much time left before she had to leave. "Oh yes, of course. I almost forgot about that! Just finish getting what you need. If you need my help then come look for me by the register."
Spike then inwardly grinned but remained calm on the outside. "Thank you, I will be as fast as possible." As Spike watched the mare leave, he turned towards the diapers with tapes and looked at each one.
"Alright. I'm gonna get some diapers with tapes, designs, and plenty of thickness. I'll also get changing supplies just in case and a foal bottle.
Spike immediately saw a package of diapers with the "Power Ponies" on them and quickly grabbed them.
Spike then grabbed the powder and wipes along with a "Power Pony" themed foal bottle and went up to the register. "This is the final step. I'm almost outta here."
Once Spike reached the register where both Bright Heart and Shiny Smile were, he placed all the foal products on the counter and let the Stallion known as "Shiny Smile" do his work. Luckily for Spike, the stallion was just like Big Mac, he just rang up the items and didn't say a word.
"So Spike, you got a bottle too it seems?" The mare asked with a questionable look pointed at Spike.
Spike knew that he had to take a leap of faith and make a pretty good lie here otherwise he would get caught. "Yeah. While my friend has some bottles to use, they are shared by all the animals that need to be fed. I figured I'd get a separate one that the cub wouldn't have to share."
The mare looked at Spike in surprise. While she'd already known Spike had more manners then most ponies, she never would've guessed she'd meet such a generous dragon considering most are greedy. "That's very thoughtful of you. I'm sure your friend will appreciate the gesture."
"I hope so." Spike said then pulled out a fifth of the gems from his saddle bag and placed them on the counter. While he didn't know how much it all was yet, he knew that the gems he had would cover the cost. "I hope these gems are good enough for payment. Also, keep the extra. You can consider it a 'thank you' for saving my hide."
Both ponies were clearly surprised. It's not often anypony would pay in gems, let them keep the extra as a tip, or have a dragon customer. "W...wow, thank you very much Spike. While I wouldn't normally take this, something tells me you won't take it back." The mare said, too shocked by everything that's occurred to even think straight.
Spike then grabbed all the bags of animal food he left by the counter and the new bag of foal items which were concealed perfectly from prying eyes and began to walk away, only to turn back slightly and respond one last time. "Like I said, keep the extra. Also, thank you for the very helpful service you provided. I hope we meet again soon."
Spike was more then pleased with the results even if he lost some gems in the process. He then decided that now was the time to go home and left the store, seeing as the two ponies working were too stunned to give a reply. "It seems the game is over and I've officially won."
You did very well in illustrating how someone acting on such a desire would behave during their first time giving in to indulge on such a want. The fear, excitement, over-planning all come together very well. More importantly is how, no matter how you try not to be, you are still 'you'. (Spike's bonding with Bright Smile is just how he naturally would behave. You can 'act' but Spike has never been much of an actor beyond some subtle differences he can make kind-of work beyond his natural self.) The way he graciously tipped the shopkeepers is another genuine moment from how naturally courteous he is.
This chapter worked at its length. What makes it work even more is how you just let it write out. You didn't obligate yourself to a 'limit'. You just wrote out everything that was there until you reached the point where the story itself said you should stop.
A lot of people may judge on vocabulary, grammar, length, etc. However, when writing non-professional fiction, these rules really shouldn't apply. You're not being paid to write this story, right? If you were being paid you 'may' have to hold yourself to strict writing standards. But this kind of writing is typically associated with 'fun' along with sharing your take on an existing world. 'Your' interpretation of what a character would do in a given situation, or situations.
Put simply, write because you want to and enjoy it. Learn as you write but don't make getting this story a grammatical masterpiece. Let it do what, I believe, it is to do. This being to share a personal take on how a character could have a particular desire along with how they'd act upon it. :)
The fact you haven't got Spike in diapers yet does a great job of keeping this story quite real for anyone who can relate with the want to wear them again for the sake of what they may represent. The tension each chapter adds is right up there with the natural fear of being found out, dealing with internal demons, and really trying to understand why, of all things, you'd find wanting to be a foal desirable. There's a ton of internal conflict and each chapter addresses it in a step-by-step way. Too quick and its too unreal / non-believable. Your pacing is spot-on and gives a reader, especially one in a similar situation, an outside view on an inside battle (s)he may be having themselves.
I have yet to ever meet anyone who likes diapers who said, "I did it because it's something I wanted to do.". Some may say this after the fact but, honestly, they are just trying to go with an easy reason to justify what they likely have yet to understand. Wanting to be like a foal / wear diapers has a lot of internal depth that is buried under layers of life experiences your subconscious holds that your primary consciousness is not entirely aware on beyond being hit with, "Wouldn't it be nice if..." pings that are downright confusing until explored from therapy, talking with others, self-exploration, etc. It's truly a lot deeper than, "Hey! I want to make myself seem even stranger and freaky to people by wanting to wear diapers! Isn't it great wanting to do something that makes absolutely no sense? Even to myself?".
I feel you keep Spike in-character quite well. He is using his naturally known abilities to make acting on his internal impulses possible. Maybe he'll come to understand why, or get some validation towards why from Twilight, Celestia, or some other pony. However, for now, he's been pushed to act upon anxiety-driven desires that have been around for a long time. He must go through the ups-and-downs of such actions to even start trying to understand himself. Let alone being brave enough to openly want to talk to any pony about it.
Personally I've never believed chapters need to line up with each other. They can be as long or as short as they need to be in order to get the point of the chapter across, that being said, I do like longer chapters.
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Thank you very much for the compliments and your reasoning behind your thoughts.
You are correct when you said I do this for fun. I do however believe that this story belongs to the readers as much as it belongs to me. I wanted to make a story where people are able to give their own ideas and thoughts on how they think a story should go while adding my own ideas so most readers can be happy. I'm glad that everyone is content with my writing so far and willing to let me make this story in my own way.
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I'm glad you think so! I do like longer chapters myself but since this is my first story I'd like to take a "safer" route and write a shorter story. In the future, I'd love to make a story with around 20k words but for now I'll wait till I have a bit more experience and knowledge on writing.
Reading this Spike feels in character, doesn't seem overly manipulative, and his scheme is something a lot of AB/DLs can relate to -- creating a smoke screen. Even though Bright Heart probably wouldn't give a flying feather about why Spike is buying the diapers, taking the attention off ones self when making those types or purchases feels... safer. Spike's a type of character who could feel vulnerable to ridicule from, say... Rainbow Dash or, more playfully, Pinkie Pie. There's also having himself exposed, everything about his secret desires, to Twilight... having an off-beat thing or two tucked away to keep to one's self is pretty normal and healthy, but Twilight would probably want to examine his psyche closely to make sure there's nothing wrong, 'cause he's like her little brother. Gosh darn protective instincts![:twilightblush:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightblush.png)
Anywho, back to Bright Heart -- she is written adorably. I really like the pacing of the whole scene... it feels so natural, yet like we're watching each slow century going by while Spike's sweating bullets.
This is very entertaining and very much from the heart. Loving it.
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter!
It is a shame that there is no internet in Equestria, otherwise Spike could just order some diapers and have them delivered discreetly. He'd still probably be extremely nervous but at least he wouldn't have to show his face while buying diapers.
While I myself have never been in this type of situation (going to a store and buying diapers) I could understand how most would feel. Props to those who have actually done that instead of using the internet.
I've honestly been stuck trying to figure out what Twilight's closest role to Spike would be. She hatched him so technically she would be his mother but she hatched him as a young filly so she could be considered an older sister. It honestly could go either way but it is definitely some food for thought. Regardless, your right about Twilight. If Spike got exposed then depending on the circumstances, Twilight would probably bring Spike to her mad science lab.![:twilightsheepish:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsheepish.png)
I'm also glad you liked Bright Heart. I just wanted a simple character that would still be kind and helpful. She also sorta helped the pacing of the story. I almost felt like this was an episode of a soap opera. So slow but with lots of tension.
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I have a continuation of this story out actually. If you are enjoying this then hopefully you’ll enjoy the sequel.
Also, thank you for taking the time to not only read this story but comment on it as well. I love hearing others thoughts, feelings, and opinions.