I knelt down, laying my sword in front of me like a proper honorable warrior that I saw all the time in anime. “I can help you do it, Nightmare. You can do it. This dream you have is a nightmare for many others. But together… we can dream a better dream.” I held out my hand. “What do you say?”
Nightmare thought about it. I could see from the way her face contorted in anguish and thought. I waited on her reply with bated breath.
Finally, Nightmare looked me in the eye and gently smiled.
“I'll try it.” She then pointed at me seriously. “One-time offer, though. If things don't turn out so well, I'll come back and kill you.”
“Fine by me,” I answered. I decided to keep my inward comment that Nightmare wouldn't be able to conquer a ShiniJedi like me.
Nightmare Moon’s lancelike horn glowed midnight blue, and she disappeared in a flash of white.
The instant she disappeared, I heard several skids behind me and a few gasps of wonder and intrigue. Several new beings had entered the castle.
I swiveled around. There, in a doorway leading to the courtyard, were six little ponies I knew very, very well. They were the legendary Mane Six, the poster ponies of friendship and the bearers of the Elements of Harmony.
Since I first began watching the show, I had noticed there was a very human portion alloted to each of them. I related to each of them as if I was spread among each entity. Twilight's nerdiness. Fluttershy's shyness. Applejack's...Hold on. Let's skip her for now. Um...Rarity's...wait, I don't know how I can relate to her either. Um, hold on. Rainbow Dash's...awesome...ness? And Pinkie Pie's’ funniness.
Okay, to rephrase that, I was disproportionally spread amongst each of the six girls. But I still loved each and every single one of them.
However, seeing all of them there in front of me, a detail I had suspicions about came back to me in full force. It wasn't that it was the girls that needed to reform Nightmare Moon. And it wasn't that I had stopped them from getting their Elements of Harmony. Those details were unnecessary. Instead, it was a detail I would notice about them immediately.
“Twilight?” Fluttershy stammered. “I d-don't know who th-this is! Who is h-he?”
“Well, he's no Nightmare Moon, that's for sure,” Rarity uneasily replied before Twilight could answer.
“Is he another spy?” Rainbow asked brashly. “Or a warrior we have to face before we take ‘er down? Like a boss fight!”
“Why aren't you anthro?” I asked abruptly. “There must be some mistake.”
Twilight lifted a suspicious eyebrow. “I'm sorry...what?”
“Anthropomorphic,” I clarified. “You know…”
Their faces portrayed confusion.
“You know, tall like me?” I asked, using my hand motions to stretch out something invisible. “On two legs...kinda human-esque, but you still have fuzzy ears and a tail and...a mane and stuff…”
“Human?” Applejack asked.
“What's a hyoo-man?” Rainbow asked. “Some kind of ear infection?”
“No, no. It's my race. Tall, two legs, fingers, stuff like that. And, um…” I used my hands to make two curving motions on my chest. “The females have, like, these...things.”
Applejack raised a thin eyebrow.
“Okay, like, these things are very...appealing to us Alpha males. Like me. There must be some kind of mistake. I must be in the wrong Equestria.”
“Hold on!” Pinkie erupted from the back. “You only want our boobs!”
“What?” I shook my head furiously. “No, no, of course-”
“Are we just sex toys?” Rarity exclaimed angrily, stamping on the ground. “That's all you're searching for in us?”
“You're a monster!” Twilight agreed, chiming her horn in defense.
“All I thought is that as long as I'm going to another land, it'll conform to my species'-”
Twilight fired a shocking spell at my chest, and I rattled in place before falling over and banging my head on the cobblestones, making black spots dance in my vision.
Now really sir, that was just plain rude.
Wow, real classy anon human. I'm almost beginning to feel sorry for him.
thank you! I dont understand why, but at this point there is so many goddamn human in equestria/anon/second person fics (majority of them being porn) and they often get disproportionately popular, and take up the entire display box
Besides insulted tastes for other people aside, this one does show some issues with the whole 'wish-fulfillment' thing going on here, and how lazy it can be to use 'anthro' for storytelling purposes.
It didn't make me laugh, though. The first ones were weak, but at least got me smiling if not chuckling a bit.
I was rooting for a sex offender!?!?!;!!!!!
I SHALL ASK JESUS FUCKED CHRIST TO PUREFY YOU!
(What is his number?)