Now What?
I turned around upon hearing the fearful whispers behind me, and I saw a very pleasing sight. Six colorful anthropomorphic mares, lithe, tall, and gorgeous, were whispering amongst themselves at my appearance.
I recognized all of them almost instantly. Their color schemes gave them away almost instantly. They had on clothes--some casual, some formal button-ups--but they all looked gorgeous. Their flurrying whispers were worried.
“Who is he? I haven't seen a breed like him before!”
“Well, Rarity, maybe he's lost. We should talk to him.”
“What are you talking about, Fluttershy? He's in the castle! He could be an agent of Nightmare Moon!”
“I don't think that's the case, Rainbow Dash. He looks pretty spent already. What if he'd fought her already? I don't see her around. Maybe he drove her off!”
“Ah agree with Twilight. He don't look like he's ‘bout ta harm us. Ain't nuthin’ ‘bout ‘im that screams he's a threat ta us. Come ta think of it, he looks...kinda spellbound, almost.”
“Do you like parties?”
The question from Pinkie Pie made me shake my head and snap me back to reality. Pinkie had shot up close to me, and I leaned back to observe her appearance. She was in a light blue shirt with a pink skirt, and striped socks ran up to her thighs and fit into her small shoes.
“...P-Parties? Of course I like parties!” I hastily said, eyeing her.
“That's kind of a given statement, Pinkie,” Rainbow boredly said, folding her arms. She was in a black tank top with dark blue sweatpants. “Don't ask such obvious questions!” Then she suspiciously strolled over to me and bent over so we were face to face. “Are you a spy?”
“I prefer Heavy myself,” I joked.
She looked confused. “Um...okay…”
“If you ask him outright if he's a spy, he isn't going to say he's a spy!” Rarity admonished. Her white shirt, tucked into black pants, barely contained her buxom figure. “Now let's try this again.” She gave me a sweet smile. “Darling, what's your name?”
I mumbled something I thought was my name, captivated by her attractive poise.
“I understand,” Fluttershy whispered, trying to empathize with me. And yeah, she was great with understanding me, and I should have paid attention to that aspect, but pssht, whatever! She was hot! A low-cut white tee that was tied off at her navel, and a long green skirt, made her look absolutely stunning.
I almost lost the next couple of words she said.
“I'm shy around new ponies as well. I don't know how well you’re handling this, but if you want, you could stay with us. Do you want to come back to Ponyville?”
“Yes,” I slurred.
Twilight and Applejack stepped forward to regard me. Applejack was in a plaid shirt much too small for her, and had long ragged jeans. Twilight wore a violet button-up shirt and a short skirt that came to her knees. It was her that spoke. “We were tracking Nightmare Moon into the Everfree Forest. Did you see her here?”
I nodded, overlooking the question of why the mares would enter a dangerous forest dressed like they were out on a date. “Yeah. I saw her. I even fought her.” I held up the Zanpakuto, and its edges shimmered in the night sky. “With this baby here.”
“What a big blade!” Rarity admired, running her eyes up and down the sword. She put her hands on her hips. “How does that fit in its sheath?”
“That's what she said,” I whispered.
“What, darling? I couldn't hear that.”
“Oh, uh, nothing!” I stood up and held the blade at my side. “Anyway, I drove her off and persuaded her to come to Princess Celestia and talk. Don't worry. I think this'll work. So, uh, where's town?”
“We'll lead ya to it,” Applejack offered. “C'mon. Let's git a-movin’!”
As I followed Applejack and the rest of the girls, I noticed that they all were glancing back at me with interest or widening their eyes and smiling slyly. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I could clearly infer what was happening.
“So,” Pinkie said cheerfully, falling back to stroll next to me. “What now?”
“Um...I dunno,” I admitted. I shrugged. “I mean, now that I'm here, what am I gonna do? There isn't a threat I have to take care of anymore, and I don't know how to get back home, and I don't want to get back home, and what's in the past is in the past. So, um...I guess...I'll hang out with you for the rest of my life?”
The girls all made affirmative chirps and answers, which seemed to make me glow inside and make me smile. Everything was going perfect for me. I had all these powers I coincidentally loved, but I had no direction, no plot, no interesting bits about me, no meaning to me being here in Equestria, and nothing for me to do except be pampered by my new implied marefriends.
This was going to be interesting.
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- JinxTJL · 520k words · 557 33 · 10k views
- Chemtest · 7k words · 151 5 · 4.1k views
- Sylif Daring Doo · 94k words · 58 3 · 1.9k views
- Brony_cruiser · 6.9k words · 102 4 · 4.4k views
- Mordred · 22k words · 122 16 · 4.6k views
- RedBlack · 62k words · 146 12 · 2.3k views
- Liarra Sniffles · 6.7k words · 270 13 · 5.8k views
- The Sound of Loneliness · 129k words · 66 11 · 2.2k views
Stats
Page generated in 0.051 seconds
Total duration
942 users online
1,557,059 hits today, 1,846,785 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Huh? ten chapters and the ratio isn't showing?
This...is uh...yeah.
I hate displaced fics as much as you do Brady, prob more.
Nice bit of comedy there. Honestly, I don't like displaced stories myself. The MCs always either get along nicely with everyone, or becomes public enemy number one.
But I enjoyed the story nonetheless. Keep up the good work!
That sentence, and all conceptual synonyms thereof, is the surest way to get me to not look at a story. Well, aside from blatant misspellings and grammatical errors.
You will have to go a very long way to find a more uninspired sentence.
9451906
9451897
I'm glad to see you enjoyed them!
9451921
9451896
Sorry, I never asked; did you enjoy it?
9451961
'twas a fine bit of satire. You covered all of the major irritants, and got me to laugh at them. Well done.
Displaced Fandom (as Evidenced by the Ratings Bar): muh incoherent wish-fulfillment
Okay, one word to sum this up.
Hit upon every cliche on the head here, you did. Now yes, it's true there are good Displaced stories, and you just gotta wade through the shit to find them, but compare the authors to drone pilots if you will. Truth is, there aren't a lot of good ones out there. I cite Sturgeon's Law.
"90% of everything is crap".
9452091
I was wondering about the ratings bar, actually. If you hate it, give me a reason why! You know?
9452111
I aim to please, Brick. I'm just happy you enjoyed it.
9452139
Sadly, most people are too salty about being mocked and/or do have a sense of humor.
9452156
Okay, fair enough I suppose, but still it's always the Everfree. Why not drop the human somewhere new, like Klugetown or summat?
9452157
Because Displaced authors see how well the other, more popular stories fared, and they attempt to imitate their success by using the same plotlines, plot holes, bad characters, stupid attitudes, and oversexed, lust-filled, devoid-of-love harems. It's like they're rebooting the same story over and over again, and they don't know how to do anything different because the others did so well.
9452162
Ha, so true.
9452139 Given that they don’t usually give out well-reasoned arguments for these stories either other than the usual “dis sturee is an interesting!!!!!!!!!” is because they know that their comments will out themselves as the tasteless, illiterate dipshits that they are.
9452196
Also, woo! You were here since 2014, and this was the first thing that made you actually laugh? I feel accomplished.
9452091
9451961
Well, truth be told, I only ever got into writing Displaced because I thought, at the time, it was like a fad or something, so I decided to give it a go. Boy, was I sorely mistaken, and truth be told these days it's gotten a bit... boring for me to write it. Which is why lately I've been having either the actual guy end up in Equestria, or having the Equestrians end up in the crossover world, like with my latest creation, Spyro and Spike: Gnorc Gnexus. Of course, without that loathsome Hamster around, things have been much easier to work on without catching a flaming ball of crap from it.
9452162
Hating on Displaced is SOOOOOO 2015. Not just that, you're using the exact same arguments everyone back then did. That being said, oversexed and lust-filled tends to be wrong as general rule since most Displaced fics don't have anything of the sort. Just though I'd correct you because, yeah, no offense but arguing with me of all people is gonna make you look like an idiot since I've been running Displaced since 2014.
That isn't to say you're wrong, but it is to say that parodies of the fics are as overdone like a woman in a Mexican brothel. Honestly, really the best way to mock them or actually ENJOY writing it is to try and do things better or improve on them, otherwise you'll exhaust yourself sooner rather than later.
9452111
No idea if any of my shite is counted but you don't have to wade through it so much, the group has a Quality Works folder after all, so it might be a smidge easier.
9452100
In my one I end up in the CHS Infirmary.
If you're going to use Bleach for your fic, the least you could do is go watch a few episodes. The fact that you're too lazy to research the other properties being used in your work doesn't motivate me to read it.
9452157
The reason why most of them end up in the everfree is that to most people new to the Displaced group find it easier to start there than anywhere else. Yes, I am also guilty of this trend since I've made it happen in four of my seven fanfics, however each one ends up in equestria differently that don't involve a comicon.
9452646
Wait a min
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/278274250413178892/544667548466282506/waitamin.jpg
9452773
What?
Is that Aardman, by any chance?
9452748
Doesn't help that the story kinda sucks generally, for a parody its really not all that funny
9453399
Aww. That's okay.
9453507
Except it's really not? It's not an issue you wrote it, sure, but a parody should be amusing and this just... isn't. It's not awful, it just doesn't do what you want it to.
Meh, this chapter describes most of the titillating HiE's out there, along with Anon and poorly written crossovers that have a focus on 'xenophilia=bestiality', so let's 'go anthropoid!' due to people not thinking about non-human aliens as equals.
The lack of planning that you crudely criticize at the end does have a point - it shows in most works, and makes the end result suffer aplenty. That probably has to do with novice writers, horny teens, and novice, horny teen authors who write for their titillating purposes and have no actual experience with either reading actual stories, novels, or even comics, and with writing and the processes involved in it. (A recent EVA-13 fic from last year comes to mind - a distasteful disappointment even if it was decent in grammar.)
Being honest with you, I was expecting more considering your 'self-promoting'.
Verbose's attempt at Displaced (which he canceled, sadly enough) was a better satire than your attempt due to one simple reason: He actually bothered to try and make a story that made sense, which had characters with personalities, and which respected 'canon' - even if the characters never got to the point where they met the cast with the exception of Daring Do.
I also remember a story that deconstructed the whole thing - for the life of me I can't remember the title, sadly enough - where the guy buys some orb from a 'reputable salesman' and ends up with electric powers in Equestria, calling himself Zap and doing serious damage to the castle and ponies... and his life turns to the worse, driven to madness by the owner of said orb of power that deals with him... thoroughly when he goes to meet the owner of the aforementioned orb of power. Years later, the ponies have to deal with what remains of his scarred, powerless arse in the process, showing him as an actual character and not a cartoon, while displaying the ponies as they would behave canonically with such a former adversary. (if anyone who reads this knows the title of the story, I'd be deeply thankful for the reply to answer my question: what was the title of this story?)
Then there's Dilos1's Hollow Shades, which does a wonderful job at telling a story employing several of the tropes while being respectful of the MLP canon. The result is a straight satire towards most of the writings' quality within the subgenre - a great story, well written with great characterizations and characters which didn't rely on 'colaborations of any kind', and portrayed accurate consequences of a person being changed into a form not their own, which contrasts severely with most of Displaced stories by its weight alone.
Then there's the one-shots that make a better job at this than your attempt: one about a guy that gets his costume turned into Shredder's and how it backfired horribly to him, the dealing with Displaced loons by the hoofs of Celly and Twilight, the one where they deal with a cartoon of the LoHAV that is an attention-seeking guy that ends up with Zuko's appearance and powerset and nopony gives a damn before kicking his arse. Then there is the one where the guy goes as himself, no costume and crap, and is following the behavior that his clothing imposes upon him to Twilights' perplexed mind.
Oh, and the one where the guy ends up displaced as a pigeon's shit. I can't forget that one.
This? This is nothing but a collection of disjointed jabs. The other author that was writing a parody/satire using The Merchant as the narrator telling of his experiences with the guys that he ended up dealing with on a daily basis was a better work than this thing, and he was aiming towards a parody too.
I thumbed this down and I am not adding it to my favorites due to these reasons. I am honestly disappointed, this could've been better in one way or another. What makes it worse is the fact that the beginning gave such promise.
9453391
Yup, Chicken Run, by Aardman.
9465274
Yeah, this story isn't the best. I agree. Especially compared to those other pieces you mentioned. Those actually sound good. You were right when you said this was a bunch of jabs for a quick potshot lol. I hope this didn't...well...turn you off towards what I have to offer the community.
9465317
Not really. I do have high hopes that you do write something that is better than this in the same vein though.
As sad as it sounds, there are plenty of awful fanfics out there, cookie-cutter brand. I support The Bricklayer's comment about Sturgeon's Law concerning the subgenre.
However, plenty of the people that gave you advice down at the 'Writer's Group' never bothered to check for the changes that happened during these years - hell, I'm new to the fandom and I even saw a difference in the way to write Displaced after around 2015, all of the posters got stuck with early LoHAV and the copycats that followed and I have doubts about you employing Witching's link to the tropes and cliches commonly employed due to lack of imagination by most newbie writers.
Hell, you didn't even ask about 'examples of awfulness' to them either... or a PM to inquire about good examples of stories upon which gain an understanding beyond the swamping mire of mediocrity that assails most fics in this site, not just the group.
Otherwise, you'd have plenty of material to make fun out of... or risk certain authors complaining to the mods about you mocking their works as it happened to Moviemaster - even if it was unintentional on Movie's part when he wrote his own satire of how many authors write their crap fanfics.
I do not know what have you read on Displaced to this day - I for one am interested as to which titles traumatized you so much as to do this, and for you to have such a stance in the matter.
If you want to give a chance to good titles - better quality than your regular fare Displaced that is not in the list I mentioned earlier, give a try to Witchings' Noble and Free (incomplete), one of the stories belonging to LoHAV - The Rise of Darth Vulcan (currently found at Archive of our own, incomplete, an example of an author not putting things more explicitly concerning the mental health of the villain protagonist for the audience), another LoHAV named Not having any of this s- (abandoned, interesting main character and interaction, with a bit of world-building, tossed in with shadow entities), The Awakening of a Tactician (incomplete), Calming Sigh with a Breath of Fire (incomplete), I am not a charlatan! I am Mysterio! Master of the Arcane Arts! (suggested to me by Wlam as a good example of Displaced from his viewpoint, incomplete), The Trickster Priest (incomplete), A Bhaalspawn in Equestria (complete, good showcasing and story about the reasons why the main character ends up as his own character in Equestria) or my own project The Equestrian Vagrant (incomplete).
But I digress. The best way you could have gone about this is by first of all writing a good narrative and a good story. The 'Displaced Tropes and cliches' are nothing but accessories, without them, you get either HiE or Crossover type of story.
Even better, if you have the chops for it, it could be an affectionate parody that used all of the cliches and tropes while giving them such twists as to make the reader question himself: is he for real?... until he laughs at the absurdity of what is going on while lampooning most of the quirks.
Give the 'good examples of Displaced stories' a chance - both straight stories and the parodies/satires as well as the 'most popular' ones like Headless, not Heartless and other works by its author, The Mighty Warrior of Epicness, Screw the Rules, we're on a Road Trip, Xante the Rainbow Lich and other works by its author (just search for 'xante' in the search bar, and you'll know why).
Just a heads-up, none of the titles I gave you are 'bad' stories. The bad ones I try to forget their existence as soon as possible in order to deny their authors even the dubious pleasure of bad publicity.
See how they employed the quirks commonly seen at the genre that disgust you, and ask yourself: how do I go about writing a Displaced story that is: fun to read and write, memorable in characterization and quality, and that I want to have fun with to poke fun at the tropes and cliches while at it?
If by the end you don't notice in LoHAV's and a most of early Displaced stories' (and even plenty of modern ones) common use of Dark Souls tropes, the abuse of internet memes and Team Four Star apeing to cover the lack of characterization and personality beyond being copycat trolls/insane goons, and the flagrant disregard for other people's lives and livelihoods beyond the tropes and cliches that you touched with this effort, then you're dead to me.
9465275
Thought it looked familiar.
9465451
I'm pretty sure in the future there'll be this long, insightful psychological discussion on whether this fic is just an unintentional, really bad parody or a great parody of bad parodies, but until then, I guess it's just the honor of being my most-disliked story.
9466047
And look at it this way: you didn't get a deluge of 'i'mma offended, imma gonna send dah mods after ya!' kind of comment, so a good parody/satire is possible to be received well by the Displaced readers/writers if written properly.
There is no bad publicity, only publicity.
If I manage, I'll PM you the links to the parodies I mentioned that I know I have... somewhere in my favorites folder. I make no promises though.
Besides, if you realize that the common complaint was 'mediocrity' rather than 'being a straight trollfic', build up from there and see where it takes you. As for the guys who liked this story: good for them, though it is a pity that they let the past chain their perceptions to what the future brings forth.
Hell, I remember one self-righteous user who replied to me something in this line when I posted good examples of stories in response to his 'there are no good Displaced': I thank you for the answer, but I stand by my statement, and no I won't even bother check them. I am right in what I say. Good day.'
That made me lose all respect for that user. So there.
PS: I'd go with 'great parody of bad parodies'. Market it that way.
That's like marketing "It's Everyday Bro" as a parody of hip-hop videos.
9466694
Also, thanks for the words. You're great.
9466709
You're welcome.
Heh. This thing was a big jab at displaced fanfiction in a way that's funny. I enjoyed it!